Monday, February 07, 2022

February 7, 2022: Today in Shelter Culture (tm)

Goodbye inconvenient past.

Hello brand new career!

When last we left Adventures in Shelter Culture (tm) -- 

Shelter Culture (tm) is my trademarked antonym for "Cancel Culture" -- to describe organizational cultures which actively protect smarmy always-wrong hacks who definitely would have been sacked for incompetence long ago in any other enterprise.  Personally, I prefer “Cultured Pearl Clutching Culture” (tm) but it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, or “Cloister Culture” (tm) but too many people have no idea what “cloister" means.

-- just four short days ago, we watched as Stephen Hayes -- a guy with a resume that is nothing but an endless string of wingnut apologia and war porn -- was gifted a brand new career by NBC.  From Variety:  

NBC News Taps Conservative Political Analyst Stephen Hayes as Contributor

Which left us to speculate, how long will it be until a mainstream media corporation pulls the chair out for Hayes' Fox News partner-in-crimes-against journalism, Jonah "Doughy Pantsload" Goldberg.  In case you are unfamiliar with Mr. Goldberg's work, I shall bring you up to speed by plagiarizing my very own blog.

...Jonah "Doughy Pantload" is a cruel sloven who is the Editor-at-Large of NRO, an LA Times Columnist, a USA Today columnist, the author of Liberal Fascism, and a visiting fellow American Enterprise Institute who makes his very fine living selling his signature brand of stone soup concocted out of mossy cultural cliches, beer jokes and reflexive Liberal hatred.

If you are on the political Left, you may know him as the fake Pulitzer Prize nominee who told hurricane Katrina victims that their best hope was to "Hoard weapons, grow gills and learn to communicate with serpents".

Or as one of America's most tireless Iraq War Pimps

Or as the goon who called the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau “a hate crime against the Constitution”.

Or the author of "Liberal Fascism"


Or one of the many, many Conservatives who have blocked your humble scrivener for talking back.

If, on the other hand, you are on the Elite Political Right like, say, David Brooks, you are probably so deep in your ideological cups that through your bleary eyes Pantload  still looks like the vanguard of a Glorious Conservative Renaissance that is somehow always juuuust around the corner...

From this resume I forgot to add his years as a Fox News contributor.   

A job he and Stephen Hayes both quit five minutes ago because it suddenly came to their attention that Fox News was a naughtybad fascist shithole full of Carlsons and Hannities and Ingahamzes.

Oh noes!

And, as mentioned above, for this singular act of unparalleled bravery Stephen Hayes was awarded a nice, fat paycheck and corner office by the National Broadcasting Company, which leaves one to ask, whatabout Jonah!

He's every bit as...

courageous
plucky
fearless
valiant
valorous
intrepid
heroic
lionhearted
manful
macho
bold
daring

...and many other thesaurus words as Hayes, so where's his corporate media Medal of Freedomness!

Where's his fucking pony!

Where's his...

Oops.  

Never mind.   

From Variety:

Jonah Goldberg Joins CNN as a Contributor After Leaving Fox News

Jonah Goldberg, one of the two conservative political analysts who resigned from Fox News Channel in colorful fashion over the direction of its coverage, is joining CNN as a contributor, the WarnerMedia network confirmed Monday.

Goldberg, a longtime editor at National Review and a founder of The Dispatch, will appear on CNN programs as news networks gear up for the 2022 midterm elections.

Shelter Culture (tm) never fails to protect their own.

Never.  Ever.



Burn the Lifeboats


5 comments:

Grung_e_Gene said...

Come on Drifty! How can you slag a Vet like this!!! Jonah Goldberg is a 20 year Veteran man. Of the Keyboard and cable battles, not the Afghanistan +Iraq War he fervently supported...
https://www.antiwar.com/blog/2005/02/06/jonah-goldberg-hypocrite-chickenhawk/


"As for why my sorry ass isn’t in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give — I’m 35 years old, my family couldn’t afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my ass is, er, sorry, are a few — ever seem to suffice."

dinthebeast said...

In 1982 I worked a second job at an autobody shop doing paint prep so my brother, who was really, really good at his job, could spray them.
We had a contract with the local Datsun dealer to paint their trade ins for $400 a pop, and many times I would be running the DA sander on one and have the shop owner pull me away and tell me "That's all they get."
The only cheaper jobs we ever did were UPS trucks, that we didn't sand at all, just roughed them up a little with a scuff pad to make the paint stick.
My brother was of the opinion that for $49, there had to be some massive buggery involved at Schieb.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Lawrence said...

Ooh, a storm is threatening
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Ooh yeah I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Robt said...

It is unfortunate for right wing literature which am afflicted with selective reading and the Right wing hate salad talking heads.. Again, I have this affliction of selective hearing.

I became inflicted and developed a way to live with it in the early days of something called El Rushbo.

This affliction did not prevent me from becoming aware that Jonah was the doddering little son of Mrs Goldberg that was Monica's best friend in the whole wide GOP party. That when Monica confided in Mrs Goldberg. She immediately ratted out her best friend to the republicans over Monica having that Blue dress.
In the ratting out her friend deal with the GOP on the blue dress. Mrs Goldberg got her little noodle son a position at the right wing heritage polishing and buffing factory.

Jonah (the Noodle Drooler) Golberg's debute article to the world he and the right wing gifted us all with. A story claiming that if the North would have simply purchased all the slaves from the south, the Civil War would not have had to be fought.
Now he didn't mention anything about purchasing slaves and then setting them free to run wild. He left that out.

Jonah, not capable of free thought and following its direction to what end.
Offered his analogy that, Like killing Elephants for Ivory tusk. If buyer would just purchase all the Ivory tusks available. They would run out of Tusks and the market for Ivory Tusks and killing Elephants for them. OVER!!!

As one might have noticed, I have learned to overcome my affliction.

Denny said...

"Earl Shieb"? The "Earl Shieb"? Dude, you are right--memory is the super power of the liberals.