Showing posts with label fox news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fox news. Show all posts

Friday, June 19, 2026

The Dogmas of the Quiet Past


I was pleased and proud to have this man as my president.  Pleased and proud to have his family as our First Family.  I was proud to vote for him for senator once and for president twice.  I was proud to have been one of the panelists who vetted him when he was still a relatively obscure state senator during his ultimately failed primary bid for the U.S. House of Representatives against incumbent Bobby Rush. In fact, I still have my ticket stub from his "Barack the Vote" fundraiser.  

However, as pleased and proud as I was to have Barack Obama as my president, it is also worth remembering the environment in which Obama governed, including taking a moment to remember much furious shit we Obama supporters took from our "allies" on the left.  In case you'd forgotten, here's a sample from a now-deadlinked post on Common Dreams from May, 2013.  I have an archive full of this stuff: 

When Obama finally declares martial law and announces the new Fascist States of American, O-bots like Maddow will eagerly put on their Nazi armbands -- cute little pastel hope & change swastikas, of course -- and join the goose-stepping parade. She's nothing but a propagandist and has absolutely no scruples whatsoever, just like the corporation that pays her, just like the "commander-in-chief" she props up with her lies and half-truths...

That kind of rhetoric was not unusual at the time: over-the-top rage from the whole Conservative media machine and from the dirtbag Left.  And in that environment, the Obama administration constituted a grand social experiment in offering the Republican party base -- which had been trained by Republican leadership and Conservative media to automatically loathe Democrats with an almost unhinged ferocity -- a different option.  Offering them compromise, thoughtfulness, dignity and respect, as well as policies that materially benefited them.

And that grand social experiment failed spectacularly.  Which is why it is worth our time and attention to diagnose why that experiment failed.  But to do that we'd have to journey into the past further back than 2016, which is something that pundits, the consulting class and our Never Trump "allies" almost all categorically refuse to do. 

That is because to examine the state of our union prior to 2016 makes the pundits, the consulting class and our Never Trump "allies" either look like arrogant idiots whose opinions should never be trusted again...or ambitious fools who were complicit in creating the ideal conditions for a monster like Trump to emerge...or both.  And since pundits, the consulting class and our Never Trump "allies" now dominate any media conversation about politics, that once again leaves it to dirty, disreputable outsiders like us to do the work of explaining why everything went to hell.  

To start with, President Barack Obama might as well have been built in a Centrist/Moderate/Both Siderist lab by the New York Times editorial board. He was everything the pundits and the consultant class said would be the "solve" for what was dividing America. 

This is from me 16 years ago, in 2010:

For his entire adult life, Barack Obama has succeeded by offering himself as the perfect midpoint between others. As a mathematical function, not a leader. As an averaging equation, not a true believer.

Since he showed up on the political radar, he has marketed himself relentlessly as

Half black and half white...
Half American urbanite, half world-citizen...
Half wonk, half preacher...
Half Harvard Yard, half Back o' the Yards...
Half red and half blue...

And this bone-deep reflex -- plus his formidable intellect and ability to rise to the rhetorical occasion -- would have prepared him perfectly for the Presidency...if this were 1960.

But it is not 1960 -- nor is he dealing with Harvard Conservatives pals or Springfield Republican pols -- and being a results-agnostic "process guy" when the process is utterly broken no longer works.

Instead, the ideologically-lockstepping Right led by Rupert Murdoch and the Koch brothers have found in Obama their perfect patsy: the Democrat who seems constitutionally incapable of counter-punching, who can only feel comfortable while suspended between two opposing positions and who will, therefore, find a compromise between opposites even when he has to invent wholly fictional opposing views to which he can cede half the playing field.

In order to avoid wasting his presidency, squandering the opportunity we have given him, and letting the country spiral into a permanent corporate feudal pest-hole, Barack Obama must do the hardest thing of all: he must exceed his design specifications. This is not unprecedented, but like Franklin Roosevelt the capitalist-turned-social-Democrat or Abraham Lincoln the compromiser-turned-Emancipator, Obama must let go of a central pillar of his identity and embrace the brutal fact that our modern house divided against itself cannot stand.

That we cannot endure permanently half-Fox and half-free.

That we will become all one thing, or all the other.

And that this is your fight, President Obama.

This burden has fallen to you: it cannot be shirked and cannot be delegated.

If you take up this challenge, millions of us will have your back, Mr. President.

But if you cannot summon the inner strength to evolve past your reflexive need to compromise with people who want to destroy you, then we are all well and truly fucked.

Because in 2008, Democrats took a chance on an outsider conjured out of their best hopes, but by 2010 it was clear to anyone with eyes to see that the Republican party and Conservative media were too far gone to be saved.  That by now there was too much power and too much profit trafficking in racism and conspiracy mongering and hatred for them to change.  That they viewed compromise, thoughtfulness, dignity and respect as weakness, and Obama as a patsy for continuing to offer calm, civility and concessions over and over again.  

That what the nation needed in that moment was a president who took to the bully pulpit every day to beat the shit out of GOP in the Truman style:

“I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.” 

And to go after the working men and women who voted against their own interests in the same manner:


But that never happened.  And the reaction from Republicans to this decent, honorable, thoughtful man who begged them to work with him solve our common problems was an eight-year-long, racist primal scream and the to nominate and elect the personification of their most dangerously ignorant, racist fears. 

The King of the Birthers. 

Then they renominated him again in 2020.

Then, when he lost, they attempted a coup to overthrow the government, and spent the next four years screaming that the election had been stolen.

Then they renominated him yet again in 2024, re-elected him, and here we are.  And by now it should be plain enough for even the punditocracy to see that the problem was never Trump.  The problem has always been the bigots and imbeciles of the Republican base who manifested Trump, and the Conservative media which continues to belt-feed the most lurid red-meat lies to that base, which eagerly gobbles it up and asks for seconds.   

So, to quote another president from Illinois whose presidential library and museum are also here, 

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country. Fellow-citizens, we can not escape history. We of this Congress and this Administration will be remembered in spite of ourselves. No personal significance or insignificance can spare one or another of us. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor to the latest generation. We say we are for the Union. The world will not forget that we say this. We know how to save the Union. The world knows we do know how to save it...

 And to repeat what I shamelessly stole from Lincoln 16 years ago and modified to fit our times:

That we cannot endure permanently half-Fox and half-free.

That we will become all one thing, or all the other.


 


Burn The Lifeboats


Monday, November 03, 2025

They're Playing The Hits

 


As you probably know by now, Fox News got into a little trouble, first by reporting an AI fake video as real (from Media-ite)...

Fox News’s website is drawing heat from media industry observers for getting duped by an AI-generated video — and then failing to take sufficient accountability for the error.

In a piece published Friday to Foxnews.com, writer Alba Cuebas-Fantauzzi posted about SNAP beneficiaries threatening to loot stores amid the government shutdown. The piece, originally headlined “SNAP Beneficiaries Threaten to Ransack Stores Over Government Shutdown,” quoted Black women claiming to be SNAP recipients complaining about the cutoff of benefits due to the shutdown.

“I have seven different baby daddies and none of ‘em no good for me,” one purported SNAP recipient said.

...then, once they were caught lying, for simply rewriting the lie as an AI video that had somehow gone viral.


According to public records, the "reporter" on this beat, Ms. Alba Cuebas-Fantauzzi took her BA Communication straight from the University of Colorado Colorado Springs, where she graduated in the Spring 2021 and put it to work doing digital scut work for the National Museum Of The Marine Corps.

After that, blogging! (Something called "The Wallflower Chronicle").

And then:
Alba Cuebas-Fantauzzi is a production assistant at Fox News Digital based in Tennessee. Alba joined Fox News Digital in 2024 and currently focuses on media and cultural trends. You can reach her at alba.cuebas-fantauzzi@fox.com.
Who obviously fully absorbed the Fox in-house "style" manual without batting an eye, because A!Job!On!TeeVee!


FYI, for any Liberal billionaires out there thinking about creating a Liberal media ecosystem to compete with the Right's propaganda machine, this is what media farm-team development looks like.

So, will this publishing this racist lie damage Ms. Cuebas-Fantauzzi career at Fox?

Are you kidding?  It'll probably get her a promotion.

First, because it will quickly be buried beneath 100 other more horrifying human right violations, war crimes, blatantly unconstitutional power grabs as well as 100 more titillating propaganda sharts from  the GOP's propaganda machine.

Second, because "greedy welfare queens feeding off the labor of hard-working, white Christian Murricans" isn't just another Fox News lie.  It's wingnut scripture, set down by the greatest ape of all, their Lawgiver.

“She has eighty names, thirty addresses, twelve Social Security cards, and is collecting veteran’s benefits on four deceased husbands. And she is collecting welfare under each of the names.” -- Ronald Reagan, Kingsport, Tennessee, 1976
And nobody at Fox News gets fired for playing the hits.


I Am The Liberal Media


Thursday, September 25, 2025

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

And the Keynote Speaker at the Sangamon County Republican Lincoln Day Dinner This Year Is...

This guy.

Loves, loves, loves his warrior "brother" Whiskey Mango Hegseth.


Loves, loves, loves Il Douche...

Despises Joe Biden...



And, just for fun, drops a big hint as to why Kamala Harris campaigning with Liz Cheney failed to flip Republican votes:

I'm sure he'll be a huge hit with the local meatheads.  After all, this is the big local Republican fundraiser, and donation and sponsorship options remain the same as last year when their keynote speaker was Trump's very own then-soon-to-be brownshirt deportation goon, Tom Homan.

The year before that the headliner was serial liar and David Plouffe's bestest podcast buddy, Kelleyanne Conway..

The year before that, it was Charlie Kirk, which I wrote about at the time.

And before Chuckles Kirk it was Candace Owens, which I also wrote about at the time

And before that it was Jason Chaffetz, one-time congressperson and Fox News troll who I believe now lives in Donald Trump's underwear drawer, which, yep, wrote about that one too.

The year before that it was Fox News in-house train-wreck/barfly,  Jeanine Pirro.  Wrote about that.

The year before that wingnut-network-job-hopper and H.R. Haldeman stunt-double, Corey Lewandowski.

The year before that, in 2016, it was none other than Fox News prime-time Gorgon and Keith Olbermann's former girlfriend, Laura Ingraham.
 
And on and on and on.

If you were ever curious about how we out here in the cornfields have been so consistently, dead-on accurate for decades with our predictions about the trajectory of the Republican Party, while our elite professional political media has been so repeatedly and catastrophically wrong about the GOP, it's really pretty simple.  Unlike our our elite professional political media, we actually live out here in the real world, chock-a-block with real Republicans who have never been shy about what they really believe.   

In fact, as I was writing up this obscenity last year, the Hugh Hewitt Show was playing on one of the two big radio station in the area.  He's on 9AM-12PM, Monday through Friday.  And if I didn't want to listen to Hewitt, I could always tune in to the other big radio station in the area where, at that moment, the Brian Kilmeade Show was playing.  He's on 9AM-11AM, Monday through Friday.  

Later in the day, on the first station, you get Sean Hannity followed by Mark Levin.  

Later in the day on the other station you get Dana Loesch followed by Erick Erickson 

The first station pads out it's weekend offerings with America First with Sebastian Gorka, The Larry Kudlow Show, Newsmax's own Chris Plante on the Chris Plante Show and, hilariously. The Weekend with Michael [Heckuva Job, Brownie] Brown.  Now that Gorka has been hired by the Trump regime to scare small children, I dunno is he's still on the air.

The second station takes its foot off the wingnut gas over the weekend with shows like American Family Farmer,  Let’s Talk Cosmetic Dentistry and The Jesus Christ Show, but it does find room late on Sunday night for Judge Jeanine Pirro.

This is the ambient radio environment out here in much of the real world -- the poison that Republicans out here in the real world are steeping in every day --  and it's been this way for going on 40 years now. 

And there is absolutely no fucking way to fail to notice it, unless your job as an elite political media professional is to deliberately fail to notice it.  




Am The Liberal Media

 


 


Tuesday, August 22, 2023

History Shows Again and Again...


...that Fox News meatheads don't care who serves up their drug of choice.

Bitter, reactionary old pervert?  

Slutty blond succubus? 

Weepy fascist circus clown?  

Tommy Hitlerfiger preppy Proud Boy?

Doesn't matter. 

As long as Fox keeps the drug coming it does not matter.  

Even if their new supplier is a smarmy taint-lemur -- 


-- who is objectively stupider than everyone else who has been in that chair.
Fox News’ Ratings Are Bouncing Back After Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson’s surprise ouster from Fox News in April promised to answer a long-standing question regarding the network: Is the host at the 8 p.m. hour the star of the show, or is it the prime-time hour that draws in the audience? Four months later, an answer is becoming clearer.

When a rotating cast of Fox News regulars hosted the 8 p.m. slot in the immediate weeks after Carlson left, viewership dropped to 1.49 million per night, roughly half of the industry-leading audience under the ex-host. As the Washington Post reports, the numbers for the entire prime-time lineup were down in the first post-Carlson week, from 2.6 million viewers to 1.6 million. For a week or two there, the network actually lost its top spot on cable news to MSNBC.

But with longtime on-air talent Jesse Watters providing some regularity in the prime-time billing since July 17, the audience is bouncing back. Nielsen ratings show that Fox averaged 2.2 million total viewers from 7 to 11 p.m. over the past four weeks, up from 1.6 million in the previous four-week period. Jesse Watters Primetime has averaged 2.4 million viewers, which is about 60 percent more than the period of revolving hosts...

 


I Am The Liberal Media


Friday, July 28, 2023

In Which the Word “Uncovering” Works So Hard It Snapped Its Spine

As you contemplate the following screen-shots, bear in mind that Nixon's Southern Strategy, Reagan's "Welfare Queen" ideology, Limbaugh's "Feminazis, Libtards and Barack the Magic Negro" vocabulary and Gingrich's slash-burn-and-relentlessly-demonize politics are the filthy, racist waters that spawned Mr. Rick Wilson.

And that, until five minutes ago, profiting handsomely by further toxifying those filthy, racist waters has been his life's work.

But now...



Since almost no one be me cares about any of this, I have learned to content myself by being grimly entertained by listening to Wilson continuing to use his real superpower -- reptilian amoral flexibility -- to seamlessly transition from being a paid, Right-wing political hitman who gleefully took the filthy lucre of crackpot Conservative billionaires and used the unlimited crackpot-billionaire funded resources available on the Right to help build a Republican doomsday...

...to landing squarely on my "No Fair Remembering Stuff" podcast corner (but isn't everybody?) dressed up as Mr. "Holy shit!  You mean the Republican Party has been full of Republicans all along!!" guy.

And the funniest part of all of this?  Wilson (and pretty much every other Never Trumper) blocked me years ago specifically for promiscuously and publicly remembering the very same monstrous past of the Republican party that he is now "uncovering".

  



Burn The Lifeboats

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Ep 730 No Fair Remembering Stuff Podcast: Fox News

MARION3

"Textbooks are Soviet propaganda."   --   Jerry Falwell

 

 
Don't forget to visit our website -- http://www.proleftpod.com -- for all those sweet bells and whistles:  there are links to donate to our podcast work at that site, as well as links to our swingin' Zazzle merch store,  our respective blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Kittehs! and much more. Many thanks once again to @theologop for building it all for us!

Links:  


The Professional Left is brought to you by our wholly imaginary "sponsors" and real listeners like you!







Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Newsmax Freak House: No Rules, Just Way, Way, Way Right

Gotta say, someone at Newsmax is on the hustle, because ten seconds after the news broke that Fox News was giving Mother Tucker the catapult, someone at Newsmax appears to have had the presence of mind to grab Madge from accounting and Maurice from the mailroom and someone's Aunt Tilly and hustle them down to the Dark Tower to film this (h/t Crooks & Liars) "spontaneous" man-on-the-street reactions of real Murricans such as yourself who just happened to be walking past Fox HQ and just happened to have formed very strong opinions about Fox and Tuckums and Newsmax, like...

...they'd stopped watching Fox long ago and now just watched Newsmax.  All.  Day.  Long.

...why wouldja fire your number one money-maker?  Dats juss stoopid.  Is this gonna be "a new Bud Lite commercial"?

...Fox got too woke.

...Tucker would make a great addition to Newsmax.

...Fox went "too Left".

For 50 years the Republican establishment worked hand-in-glove with Conservative media to build a voting base of reprogrammable, racist meatbags who would believe anything that Hate Radio and Fox News crapped into their skulls.  And then, almost overnight, Donald Trump took all that away from them simply because he was willing to say loud and proud all the horrible shit that the GOP political and media elites were only willing to whisper sotto voce, or job out to mercenary scumbags like Rick Wilson and Matthew Dowd.  

And then, with nary a backwards glance, the reprogrammable, racist base abandoned the  GOP political and media elite, because the  GOP political and media elites had trained them to crave a certain brand of madness that the GOP political and media elites were only willing to deliver in stingy, carefully measured doses.  Whereas Trump just threw open the doors of the Wingnut Wonka factory and said "Have at it kids!  Eat all you want and fuck the Oompa Loompas it that's your kink!"

97% of the GOP and Conservative media adapted fast enough to survive, and in the process the Fox News jungle suddenly found itself with a new, money-making apex fascist predator:Tucker Carlson.

Within Fox, Carlson created his own, deranged, authoritarian-friendly biome where every wormy proto-fascist media parasite could flourish --

-- and the Fox News audience sopped it up with a biscuit and asked for seconds,

Then, overnight, Woke Liberal Lefty Rupert Murdoch took that all away from them!  Robbed them!  Just like Fox had robbed them of Donald Trump when they called Arizona for Biden!

So remember four paragraphs ago when I reminded you what happened when the Republican base was given a choice between Jeb! and following Trump into the abyss? 

From CNN:

Why Fox News brass might be unnerved after seeing the ratings in the aftermath of Tucker Carlson’s firing

...What is most significant, however, about Monday’s ratings data is its revealing of a dramatic audience swell at Newsmax, unlike anything the channel has seen in recent memory outside of its broadcasts of a Donald Trump rally. The smaller right-wing television network, with a prime time helmed by the election denier Greg Kelly and ex-Fox News host Eric Bolling, saw its numbers explode in the hours following Carlson’s ouster

Last Monday, for instance, Newsmax averaged just 146,000 total viewers at 8pm. Last night, the audience was more than triple that, with an average of 531,000 total viewers.

The numbers suggest that some of Carlson’s audience migrated over to Newsmax to sample the competitor’s showing. Whether they stay at the channel and continue grazing is an open question. But on Monday, a not-so-insignificant chunk of Carlson’s fanbase appeared to wander outside the Murdoch-verse for their 8pm infotainment.

Looks like, once again, elite Converative power brokers are trying to get between the gluttons they created and the lunch they demand.



I Am The Liberal Media

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Won't Someone Please Think About The Wacky Sidekicks!: A Glenn Greenwald Story

 

In case you were wondering what the Greatest Journalist in the World, your pal Glenn Greenwald, was up to these days, I'll fill you in.

He can currently be found waaay out on the fringe, at the wingnut dive bar called Rumble, in a "studio" that screams "1994 Mail Boxes Etc. waiting room" sporting a haircut that they refer to as "The Full Gump" at SuperCuts...just blathering endlessly (using adjectives he had already drained of all meaning back in 2009) about the authoritarian, lockstep, jackbooted Democrats led by the nefarious AOC and their struggle to the death with the diverse, noble, tolerant and broad-minded Republican party. 

Having lost all credibility with most of the credulous Liberals who once admired him even as he made absolute dupes of them...and having been drummed out of the media company he created because he could not keep the hysterical/crazy out his writing, to hang onto the spotlight -- any spotlight -- Spleenwald finally glommed into the last and lowest available rung at the (pardon the mixed metaphor) bottom of the cable news barrel: Tucker Carlson's frequent sidekick and useful "Liberal" idiot. 

And now Tucker Carlson -- Lex Luthor to Spleenwald's Otis --

   

 -- is no more.  

And I will admit that today I took some, unhealthy pleasure in watching him, sitting behind his lil' pretend journalist Rumble desk, giving off the same dumbstruck, "But Who's My Daddy Now?" vibe that Clarence Thomas reeked of after Scalia croaked, while trying to turn his complete ignorance of WTF just happened to his Fox News sugar daddy into some kind of informed speculation...and then trying to weave that mop of gelatinous verbal mess in with his same, tired  authoritarian-lockstep-jackbooted-Democrats-nefarious-AOC tirade that was, itself, clearly on autopilot.

Twas glorious.

And whatever else one can say about the long, smug, dishonest, narcissistic and thoroughly assholish road Spleenwald traveled to reach this hour of his greatest need, one can definitely say that he brought all of it entirely on himself.

Selah. 





Burn The Lifeboats

Monday, April 24, 2023

Wednesday, March 08, 2023

Trumper Carlson has a Message for Republican Elected Officials


From Trump's Dollar Store Twitter-knockoff:
"Congratulations to Tucker Carlson on one of the biggest 'scoops' as a reporter in U.S. history. The New Surveillance Footage of the January 6th Events sheds an entirely different light on what actually happened. The Unselect Committee was a giant SCAM, and has now unequivocally been stamped as CRIMINAL FABRICATORS OF THIS MOST IMPORTANT DAY. Pelosi & McConnell failed on security. The Police story is sad and difficult to watch. 'Trump' and most others are totally innocent, LET THEM GO FREE, NOW!"
You bought the ticket.

Now you get to take the ride.



Burn The Lifeboats

Thursday, March 02, 2023

Long Past Time for a Moratorium on Pundits Using Words Like “Exposed” and “Revealed”...


...and phrases like "pulled back the curtain" when talking about Fox News knowingly lying to its audience for money. 

When a monster has been naked and openly humping your leg for a quarter of a century --


-- you give up the right to use words like “exposed” and “revealed” and phrases like “pulled the curtain back” when describing its naked monstrosity.

Period.


 

I Am The Liberal Media



Wednesday, March 01, 2023

Listening to the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver So You Don’t Have To


 
I could stand about three minutes of Paul Ryan pontificating to Charlie SYkes about what Kevin McCarthy could do if A) he didn't remotely reassemble Kevin McCarthy and, B) if the GOP were an entirely imaginary other party instead of the shithole of bigots and imbeciles it has been for decades. 

From then on, for fear of my gorge becoming buoyant, I took it in small sips

At around the 9:30 mark, the "What's the maximum amount of revisionist bullshit we can pack into the minimum number of words" contest really takes off. 

Sykes:  So...how did we get from, say, 2015, 2014 where you... were the face of and the most well-known member of the House of Representatives?  How did we go from Paul Ryan being the face of Republicans in the House to Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Ryan:  I think it's the digital age were in.  I think we have a new wing of our party.  I think the Democrats have the same thing...

The internet is to blame?  Check.

Everything bad started in 2015?  Check

Both Sides Do It?  Check.

Ryan goes on to lie about Joe Biden being exactly as bad as Donald Trump on economic issues.

Then he lies about the GOP's nearly-successful campaign to gut the Affordable Care Act, reframing it as a heroic act of deficit reduction that would have merely "reformed" the ACA.

Ryan is enough of a cold-eyed cynic to cop to the fact that Trump voters are basically brainwashed cultists who don't give a shit that Trump is a fascist or that he tried to violently overthrow the government or that he is, in a hundred other way, manifestly "unfit" to hold office.  But because, according to Ryan, Joe Biden's presidency is such an abject failure and the Democrats and the "Left" are so much worse than the imaginary Republican party which exists only in his head...it is imperative that Democrats be defeated at any cost.  

This, in turn,  means Trump must not win the GOP nomination in 2024 because he would drag the rest of the party down with him.  So opponents should stick to going after Trump as a loser and forget about going after Trump as the monster that he clearly is because the brainwashed cultists who are the base of Paul Ryan's party purely love that shit. 

Joe Biden is just as bad as Trump?  Check.

The GOP base may be brainwashed cultists...but Dems are worse? Check.

The GOP will do just fine as long as it magically transforms itself into a completely different party?  Check.

Ryan explained that he stays on the Fox News board because he wants to help Conservatism through this "moment" its having -- as if Fox had a little too much to drink and needs to be helped into a cab, or had a little fight with its roommate and needs a couch to crash on for the night, or has reaped the deranged harvest of spending a generation pandering to bigots and imbeciles and needs a Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver (h/t Brother Charlie Pierce) out there pitching woo to the crazy-but-not-quite-deep-end-of-Newsmax-crazy Republicans to keep them from scrambling down the rat-line and off this sinking ship fprever.  

Ryan explained that his fealty to the Murdoch monster factory is necessary because Murrica needs "pluralism" and Fox News must remain a bastion against the "woke" conformist commies like, well, you and me.  We who used our godlike influence over the culture to "bludgeon" others into conformity.

Sykes did point out that, um, it's actually Republican governors and legislators who are banning books and such.  Ryan allowed as how he "wasn't a big fan of that".  But, he argued, that's why you need cultural institutions like Fox News up on that wall!  Defending "natural law" (Ryan is big into "natural law") and protect us from, y'know, the same scumbags that Fox News works so hard to get elected.

Ryan explained that the only real problem with Fox News is Tucker Carlson, and Ryan is there to try to make sure all those *other* not-Tucker-Carlson voices on Fox -- the noble and completely imaginary True Conservative voices on Fox -- are protected and nurtured.

Ryan is also hopeful about the 2024 GOP primaries, because in addition to the "Trump 2.0 lane" he sees a "Reagan 2.0 lane" down which a true "classical Liberal conservative" could zoom to victory...by, uh, winning all 17 true "classical Liberal conservative" Republicans who remain in Paul Ryan's party?

We learned that Ryan apparently remains "good friends" with every Republican elected official still walking on two legs.  That Mike Pence has some great ideas about deficit reduction.  And that Fox corporation board member Paul Ryan is not going to publicly utter one mumbling word that's critical of  Rupert Murdoch's sprawing, fascist propaganda empire. 

If one is a woke Liberal troublemaker whose memory is intact, one cannot help but visualize the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver practiced this farrago of lies, deflections and rationalizations in front of a mirror one hundred times, surrounded by notecards full of talking points that had been delivered every hour on the hour by one of Murdoch's minions.

And if one is a woke Liberal troublemaker whose memory is intact, one cannot help but remember that Ryan is just one of many, many Republican ghouls and hobgoblins that Charlie Sykes, in his role as the Rush Limbaugh of Wisconsin, raised to national prominence and inflicted on our poor, wounded land.  

I tapped out once Ryan started down his labyrinthine diatribe explaining why massive corporate tax cuts would sooner or later reduce the deficit, and why the only way to save Social Security was to hand granny's Social Security check over to hedge fund managers.

Ahem.
For me, this was like prematurely unearthing a time-capsule full of Ayn Rand essays and dogshit true conservative grifter double-talk that we had once hoped we would never see again in our lifetimes.  

A time-capsule that we had put in the ground for some future generation to find as they searched for answer to the question of why America went bull goose loony nuts back in the late-20th and early-21st centuries. 




I Am The Liberal Media



Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Someone Told Tom Friedman About Fox News and It Made Him Very Sad


Into Tom Friedman's palatial office glided one of his many, interchangeable, vaguely androgynous assistants.  From collar to crepe shoes Assistant #7 was dressed in the obligatory, all-black, Ninja-casual-by-of-Eddie-Bauer attire of TED Talk mic-runners.  

Assistant #7 bore a small, white box, which was placed on Friedman's massive cocobolo desk.

Assistant #7 picked one of the ornate, $10,000 sandalwood command staves (one of those long sticks used to push flags around on a war room map) from the $200,000, hand-carved umbrella stand next to the desk and used the stave to slide the white box across the desk towards Friedman.  The command staves were a gift from Friedman's very dear friend Bibi Netanyahu for Friedman's good service.  The umbrella stand had been a gift from the late Ahmad Chalabi, also for Friedman's good service. Putting them together like that was apparently a private joke between Friedman and the Almighty which the assistants do not even pretend to understand.  

Friedman accepted the box, dismissed Assistant #7, and slit the box open with the priceless, Shang dynasty jade knife that had been gifted to him by Xi Jinping for Friedman's good service.  

The hike back from the desk to the massive, inlaid Brazilian Rosewood doors of Friedman's office takes about five minutes, so Assistant #7 was still within earshot when Freidman began weeping and pounding his desk with his tiny, old-man fists and moaning "Nooooo".

Assistant #7 had brought Friedman bad news.  

The box contained curated copies of the Fox News text messages, emails and testimony from the Dominion Voting Systems court case that had been made public over the last week.  These text, emails and testimony had all been widely available and reported, but had passed beneath Friedman's notice until now since there had been no plucky foreign cab driver available to tell him about it.

Friedman composed himself, flicked one of the intercom switches on his desk, and barked "Copy!' into the microphone.   A nondescript voice -- that sounded as it it were coming from someone  who was dressed, from collar to crepe shoes, in the obligatory, all-black, Ninja-Casual-by-Eddie-Bauer attire of TED Talk mic-runners -- replied "Ready."

Friedman began to dictate.  Just fragments.  Stray balloons, each bearing a basket of solid gold thought eggs, which he would stitch together later into a gilded balloon tapestry of words eggs.  

It's called a "process" people.  All the greats have one.  

We’ve learned a lot in recent days about both Fox and Haley, the former South Carolina governor who has just started running for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination.

Brief driftglass aside: No, in fact we knews all we ever needed to know about Fox News about a quarter of a century ago.  And Nikki Haley gladly bent the knee to Trump, so a complete dead-loss there too.

Friedman continues with the balloon eggs:

We all sort of knew the truth about Fox, but now there can be no doubt...

Brief driftglass aside: "Now"?  Really?  Just now?

More balloon eggs:

Before, during and after the 2020 election, it was not crazy to assume that Fox’s main prime-time hosts — Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham — actually believed some of the pro-Trump, election-fraud conspiracy theories and theorists that they were putting on the air. But now we have learned...

Brief driftglass aside: "But now we have learned..."?  Really?  Again?  And what the fuck is it with you beltway goofs handing out benefits of the doubt to traitors and pathological liars like you're passing out Funyun samples at a FritoLays trade show.  No, no and no again.  It was 100% crazy to assume that the Fox News congenital liars, with decades of lying experience behind them, believed for one second that the election-fraud sedition they were spouting was true.  

More balloon eggs:

I’ve never met Haley, but from afar it seemed...

Say, do I smell that same famous Friedman brand of top-shelf, shoe leather "I've never been there, but trust me..." reportage that paved the way for Bush's Iraqi Clusterfuck?

Then comes the Friedman brand interminable list of things that shoulda/coulda happened.

She could have said...

Haley could have added...

Haley could have then pivoted to... "Legal immigrants grow our pie..."

Friedman in still unsure how pie works

Sure, that kind of speech would have challenged the Republican base, but I bet it would have energized many others — particularly independents and moderate Republicans looking for alternatives to Trump.

In this sense, "independents and moderate Republicans" are the electoral WMDs of American political journalism.  Hacks like Friedman are absolutely sure they're out there somewhere, hidden but in great abundance...and their unshakable faith in the existence of vast numbers of independents and moderate Republicans ationalizes every other stupid thing they believe...despite the fact that people have been sifting the political sands for decades in search of independents and moderate Republicans and haven't found any.  

And then comes the part where I just start banging my head on my tiny, plastic desk -- 

-- in time with In The Air Tonight.

Here’s Peggy Noonan of The Wall Street Journal on Haley’s presidential announcement

For at least a generation, there have not been more than a dozen sentient human beings outside of Friedman's Beltway circle jerk who have cared one iota for what Nooners has thought about anything.   And yet here she is, Wall Street Journal Peggers, being quotes by New York Times' Mustache of Understanding with real "That's it!  Case closed!" energy.

Assistant #7 slipped out the door as Friedman shifted from lachrymose over his recent discovery that Fox News is a shithole of greed and perfidy to bellicose over his recent discovery that Fox News is a shithole of greed and perfidy.   Friedman wasn't just up on his tiny feet, but had mounted the desk and was shaking his wee fists at the heavens, thundering that at least, by god, there remained Extremely Respectable media like The New York Times as a bulwark against those skeevy Conservatives and the filthy, lying media that gave them cover.

Walking back to wherever it is that such people go between errands,  Assistant #7 passed the open door of Friedman's New York Times colleague, skeevy Conservative Bret Stephens, putting the finishing touches on his latest filthy, lying column for the Extremely Respectable media that gives both him and David French and David Brooks and Stephen's ex-wife Pamela Paul and Tom Friedman cover.  

The Mask Mandates Did Nothing. Will Any Lessons Be Learned?

“Do something” is not science, and it shouldn’t have been public policy.

By Bret Stephens

The public reaction to Stephens' column was swift and abundant.





 

The idea of  putting  Stephens and David French and David Brooks and Stephen's ex-wife Pamela Paul and Tom Friedman all together under the same masthead, all bitching about incompetence, lying and the terrible bad faith of those people over there while never daring to glance at each other, is apparently a private joke between the Sulzberger family and the Almighty which the assistants do not even pretend to understand. 


Burn The Lifeboats


Monday, February 20, 2023

Don’t Quote Me on This, but There May Be Something Funny Going On With Fox News

Every mainstream media outlet reacting to text messages confirming (for the umpteenth time) that Fox News really is the vile, conspiracy mongering, fascist shithole --

-- the Left has always said it is.

This video is from 16 years ago, talking about Fox News as it had already existed for the decade before that.

Alert Reader Mark thinks this 2009 vivisection of Fox by Jon Stewart takes the belt.  It might be.  

By the way and for the record, 2009 was ... let's see now ... carry the one ... 14 years ago.


No Fair Remembering Stuff


Wednesday, December 28, 2022

It's An Old Gestapo Trick


Shoot one of your own people to show that you're not one of them. 

Since George Santos is going up in flames anyway, Fox News awarded Tulsi Gabbard the honor of the kill:
Tulsi Gabbard tears into George Santos during Fox interview: ‘Do you have no shame?’
And thus is kicking a doomed and dying weasel down a well magically transformed into a headline-grabbing, Fox News resume-burnishing feat of Fearless Truth Telling by a Heroic Independent.



I Am The Liberal Media


Tuesday, July 13, 2021

From the "So Desperate to Get Back on Fox You Can Smell It" Files: Megyn Kelly

 



Let's start, for reasons which will become clear, with this breaking news from 2016/17 via Wikipedia

On October 22, 2016, AT&T reached a deal to buy Time Warner for $85.4 billion. The merger would bring Time Warner's properties under the same umbrella as AT&T's telecommunication holdings, including satellite provider DirecTV. The deal faced criticism for the possibility that AT&T could use Time Warner content as leverage to discriminate against or limit access to the content by competing providers.

On February 15, 2017, Time Warner shareholders approved the merger. On February 28, Federal Communications Commission chairman Ajit Pai refused to review the deal, leaving the review to the Department of Justice. On March 15, 2017, the merger was approved by the European Commission.[79] On August 22, 2017, the merger was approved by the Mexican ComisiĂłn Federal de Competencia. On September 5, 2017, the merger was approved by the Chilean FiscalĂ­a Nacional EconĂłmica.     

Yep.  Four years ago, the galaxy brains at telecom colossus AT&T decided to shell out more money than God to buy their way into the streaming media market by buying Time Warner.   

And yet, four years later...(from CNET, March 2021): 

AT&T to refocus on 5G as it unloads WarnerMedia

The telecom giant is shifting gears back to what it probably should have been concentrating on in the first place.

And this dynamic, on a much smaller scale, is the story of Megyn Kelly.  Because, like WarnerMedia, Kelly is a media property, willing cynically to buy and sell herself to the highest bidder based on the equally cynical interests of the media corporations who are willing to bid on that property.

And so, once Fox New's #1 customer made her continued employment at that racist shithole network untenable (Variety, September 2017) -- 

Megyn Kelly Says She Left Fox News Because of Trump

-- NBC swooped in to pick up her contract in what literally everyone except NBC president Andy Lack knew was a godawful idea.  But since NBC/MSNBC are driven by their relentless search --


-- for new ways to coax the Pig People into tuning in, in January of 2017...

NBC’s Hiring of Megyn Kelly Appears to Signal a Shift to the Right

After months of negotiations with a number of major networks, Fox News star Megyn Kelly announced on Tuesday that she is joining NBC News, where she will host a daytime TV show and a weekly feature program, as well as being involved in the network’s political coverage.

Kelly’s contract with Fox News isn’t officially up until July, but she began discussions in October with several broadcasters after a widely-reported tiff with then-presidential candidate Donald Trump boosted her public profile. It’s not clear what NBCUniversal will be paying her, but she was reportedly making $15 million a year at Fox...

And just like the AT&T/WarnerMedia deal, it quickly became obvious that this pricey shotgun marriage was doomed.  Because despite Kelly's patently faked enthusiasm for her new gig and her protestations that she "just wanting to do the news", you can take the blonde wingnut pit viper out of Fox, but you can't  take the Fox out of the blonde wingnut pit viper.  And so, a year and a half after buying Megyn Kelly, NBC let her out of her contract and let her keep the nearly $70M that Andy Lack had pissed away on what, let me repeat, literally everyone except NBC president Andy Lack knew was a terrible idea going in.  From NBC, October 2018:

Megyn Kelly walks away from NBC with the remainder of her $69M deal

The announcement comes months after negotiations over Kelly's contract following her termination for making derogatory racial comments.

Megyn Kelly and NBC News have agreed to terms under which the high-profile TV host will leave the company with the remainder of her $69 million contract, according to a source familiar with the agreement.

The news comes after months of negotiations over parts of Kelly’s long-term contract following her removal in October from the 9 a.m. ET hour of NBC’s “Today.” Her morning show, “Megyn Kelly Today,” was cancelled after the anchor made comments about wearing blackface as part of a Halloween costume debate.

“The parties have resolved their differences, and Megyn Kelly is no longer an employee of NBC,” NBC said in a statement...

Because big media does not give the tiniest shit about our lives, our futures or the survival of our democracy.  Big media is a business, and as The New Yorker wrote in October 2018: 

NBC’s Firing of Megyn Kelly Is as Cynical as Her Hiring Was.

...
“There is no other way to put this, but I condemn [Megyn Kelly's blackface] remarks,” Andy Lack, the chairman of NBC news, said at a staff meeting this week. Lack has reason to cast the Kelly implosion as a moral crisis that he’s eager to fix. Since the revelations of Matt Lauer’s career of impunity at the “Today” show, and of the company’s failure to follow through with Ronan Farrow’s reporting on allegations against Harvey Weinstein, the chairman’s fitness has been cast in serious doubt. At Fox News, Kelly had provided a more stylish iteration of the network’s typically unhinged anti-black programming. Lack’s condemnation of her now hardly obscures the fact that her firing was decided by the same cynical market considerations that led him to hire her in the first place.

/Start  of brief driftglass aside

Just imagine what investing that $70M -- which is sofa change to media corporation the size of NBC -- in actual Liberal media might have done for our politics?  

Hell, just imagine what putting actual Liberals who had been right about the Right all along on the air instead of spamming audiences with an endless procession of Republican Bush Regime Dead Enders  all of whom swear they simultaneously discovered to their shock in 2016 that the Republican Party was full of Republicans, all of whom tell the most amazing lies about why they are not to blame for the state of the modern GOP, and all of whom clearly have not lost one iota of their seething contempt for you and me and everything we believe in.

End of brief driftglass aside/

And so, $69M dollars wealthier for failing spectacularly at her one job and released from her contractual obligation to  pretend she didn't hate every minute she spent working at NBC, Megyn Kelly was free to used her continued media presence to shit on her former colleagues.  Which isn't to say they don't deserve it, but still, classy with a "K" Megyn is (from The Daily Beast, December 2019):

Megyn Kelly Calls Out Former NBC Colleagues in New Interview

The ex-Fox News and NBC host appears to suggest that unlike her, Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski are not real “journalists.”

Then, less than a year ago, Kelly decided that the world should not be forced to go without her voice for even one more day, which is how she decided to spend a chunk of her NBC please-go-away money to get into the exciting and extremely profitable world of...podcasting!   From The WSJ from September 2020.

Megyn Kelly Launches Into Podcasting With New Venture 
 
Former TV news star’s Devil May Care Media will begin releasing ‘The Megyn Kelly Show’ at the end of the month

Megyn Kelly is coming back on the air, but this time she’ll be podcasting.

The former TV news commentator and talk-show host’s new Devil May Care Media is slated to release the first episode of “The Megyn Kelly Show” at the end of the month. Ms. Kelly, 49 years old, whose most recent morning show with NBC News ended almost two years ago, is funding the venture herself.

“The No. 1 thing I wanted to do was control my own editorial,” Ms. Kelly said. “To not be doing anyone else’s bidding, not having the pressure of corporate overlords over me, that means one has to be entrepreneurial.”...

 And, of course, continue shitting on her former colleagues. From Forbes, last week:

Megyn Kelly: Working At NBC Wasn’t ‘Intellectually Stimulating’

It turns out even Megyn Kelly was confused by the transformation Megyn Kelly made in her move from Fox News to NBC. In an interview with Business Insider, the former Fox News Channel host said that her high profile jump from Fox to NBC resulted in a job that “wasn’t intellectually stimulating.”

"I had this soaring career at Fox that was great by any measure, but I was miserable at home. It was too stressful, too much time away from my family and my kids, and then I overcorrected at NBC by going too soft," Kelly told Insider...

 All of which, including her nakedly batshit remarks today, is this damaged media property's way of publicly hiking her skirt up high enough to let her former employers at Fox know that if they have the money, she has the time. 


Burn The Lifeboats