I don't know how many times I've inflicted Kurt Vonnegut's word, "granfalloon" on you --
"...a proud and meaningless association of human beings"
Most newly minted “independents” seem to be little more than Republicans who are fleeing the scene of their crime, but at the same time still desperately want to believe in the inerrant wisdom of Rush Limbaugh. They are completely incapable of facing the horrifying reality that they have gotten every single major political opinion and decision of their adult lives completely wrong, so instead they double down on their hatred of women and/or gays and/or brown people and/or Liberals, and blame them for the miserable fuckpit their leaders and their policies have made of their lives and futures.Like German soldiers after the fall of Berlin, they have stopped running away from the catastrophe they created only long enough to burn their uniforms.But they fool no one.Except, apparently, David Fucking Brooks.
In case you missed it: Republicans in the Legislature try to hide from their party’s failed economic policies while Democrats compete to flip their seats.
Next, we move on to New Hampshire, and this pre-primary headline from New Hampshire Public Radio from July 27th:
This year’s Republican primary for U.S. Senate features two candidates — John E. Sununu and Scott Brown — who’ve held the job before. Each brings a distinct political profile and record to the race, but both are pitching themselves to voters as “independent” and solely focused on delivering for New Hampshire.
Yes, it was that Scott Brown: the former Massachusetts senator whose modeling career once earned him Cosmopolitan's “Sexiest Man in America” title, before he became a national Republican political celebrity.
Back here where I live in Illinois we find Collin Corbett decking himself out in full Independent regalia. This is from NPR Illinois, September 21, 2026 and it almost achieves Independent Bingo by cramming nearly every cliche into one interview.
Republican-turned-independent Collin Corbett hopes to provide voters an alternative for governor
Collin Corbett has spent enough time in politics to know he’s a longshot to pull off a victory as an independent candidate for governor.
“I'm going to push as hard as I can before Nov. 3,” Corbett said in an interview with Capitol News Illinois. “But I'm a political strategist. I can do math. I'm aware of how this will likely turn out at the end of this election.”
But the former Republican strategist said it’s more of a long game.
“I'm 40 years old. I got a long runway ahead, and there's a ton of people who've been coming up to me saying, 'I don't know if I can vote for you in this election, but I'm all in for your larger goal of building an independent majority,’” he said. “’So Nov. 4, I'm in, let's go.’”...
Corbett said his campaign is about proving there is an appetite for independent, centrist candidates in Illinois as voters weigh their options between staunch Democratic Gov. JB Pritzker and Trump-endorsed Republican Darren Bailey.
Corbett last worked for Republicans in the March primary season, including for Don Tracy, the party’s former chair and current nominee for U.S. Senate.
“We've got to start changing things now because the path we're on — with these two parties that only seem to offer extremes, and they just want to snipe at each other and attack each other instead of actually getting things done — it's not working for me,” Corbett said.
Corbett said he’s skipped the presidential question on the ballot in the last three general elections and supported John Kasich and Nikki Haley in the 2016 and 2024 primaries respectively — two Republicans who are more often identified as traditional members of the party, separate from Trump’s wing.
Among Illinois political role models, Corbett views himself as “a blending” of late former Gov. Jim Edgar and former Sen. Mark Kirk, who were among the socially moderate, fiscally conservative Republicans who once dominated the state party.
“There are really good people on both sides,” Corbett said. “It’s just this tribalism where my side is good and your side is evil. That’s the thing that’s ruined our politics.”
Lincoln Party candidate Ballard starting TV ads in Indiana secretary of state raceLincoln Party candidate Greg Ballard will soon make it three campaigns with television ads on the air in the Indiana secretary of state’s race.
Ballard’s campaign on Thursday released its first broadcast ad that it said would start airing Monday around the state.
The 30-second ad highlights Ballard’s 23-year career in the Marine Corps, along with his eight years as the Republican mayor of Indianapolis. He touts running as an “independent” in order to “restore professionalism and open a path for more independent-minded Hoosiers to run for office.”
Republican Rep. Kevin Kiley files to run as independent
Rep. Kevin Kiley (R-Calif.) said Friday he is registering as "no party preference," rather than as a Republican, as he seeks reelection to Congress.
Why it matters:
- The move comes after Kiley's Republican-leaning district was broken apart in mid-decade redistricting, forcing him to run in far more Democratic-leaning territory.
- Kiley's announcement sparked considerable confusion among his colleagues, with several lawmakers asking GOP leadership for clarity on whether he will continue to contribute to their slim House majority.
- One House Republican, asked if Kiley is staying in the GOP conference, told Axios: "I hope to God he is."
- A Kiley spokesperson told Axios it is "not official yet" whether he will leave the party or the conference now, adding: "For now, he's just filing as an independent for his reelection campaign."
"It's no secret that I've been frustrated, at times disgusted, with the hyper-partisanship in Congress," he added.
John Deaton knows he faces a narrow path to beat Ed Markey. The Republican is trying again, anyway.He lost two years ago to Elizabeth Warren — and it wasn’t close. The Republican Party faces tremendous headwinds going into the midterms. Polls suggest voters are unhappy with President Trump — especially in Massachusetts.
So why is John Deaton running again?
The 59-year-old attorney, former Marine, and cryptocurrency booster is in the midst of his second Senate bid in as many election cycles, challenging Senator Ed Markey, the Democratic incumbent, two years after losing to Warren by 20 percentage points.
He’s already loaned his campaign $1 million — after putting at least $1 million of his own money into his race against Warren — and is recycling his argument against Warren, casting Markey as too far left for Massachusetts voters.
Deaton argues Massachusetts would be better off with the independent-minded approach he would bring to Washington, rather than reelecting an 80-year-old incumbent Deaton argues has been in office too long.
As he did two years ago, Deaton is pitching himself as unbeholden to Trump, emphasizing that he never voted for the president. In memorable, and coarse, remarks during a June debate, he said bluntly: “‘F’ the Republican Party.”
“‘F’ the Democrat Party,” he added. “They all suck.”
Andy Biggs Takes Message to Independent Voters on Podcast InterviewSit down with former Phoenix mayor and Independent voice Paul Johnson covers a number of major issues facing Arizona
GILBERT, AZ -- Republican nominee for Governor Andy Biggs took his campaign message directly to Independent voters in Arizona in a recent podcast interview with one of the leading Independent voices in the state.
Biggs sat down with Paul Johnson, the former mayor of Phoenix and highly-respected advocate for Independent voters, and Henry Thompson to discuss his vision for the state in a wide-ranging episode that covered plans for water, taxes, education, and how Biggs plans to work together with Arizonans of different backgrounds as Governor.
Biggs has frequently highlighted his work across the aisle...
NPR, of course, has a much longer treatment of the phenomenon, and it manages to give nearly every one of these familiar talking points a fresh coat of paint. See how many squares you can fill on your Independent Bingo card.
The article is from October 13, 2026 and is entitled "Win or lose, independent candidates want to meet voters in the middle". It begins with the story of Seth Haskins, who can frequently be seen around his town costumed as an 18th man to signal how much the 26-year-old loves the Founding Fathers and limited government.
The article does not mention if he also favors Typhoid Fever and Dysentery, shitting in an outhouse in the dead of winter, or an average 38-year life expectancy.
From NPR,
Win or lose, independent candidates want to meet voters in the middle
..."Getting their [people's] attention is the biggest battle that most candidates have," Haskin said. "But especially independent or no party candidates."
Some could dismiss Haskin's attire as a stunt, and they may write off other independent candidates the same way. Sarah Zabel, 61, an independent candidate for Idaho's western district, said that view is outdated.
"Independents used to be a curiosity or a protest or a single issue," said Zabel. "Now, with the parties having gone to such extremes, independents are the necessary relief for the American voter."
At a time when 45 percent of adults identify as political independents — a record high — and just a handful of tight races will decide control of Congress, the 173 independents running for the House this fall will test how big the political middle really is, and whether people who identify as independents will vote for one.
Zabel, who is running in a deep-red district in Idaho, describes herself as a "heritage Republican," or someone who used to be a Republican and adheres to conservative values. But since 2018, during the first Trump administration, she stopped feeling in line with the Republican party and the "MAGA program."
The retired Air Force major general said she didn't feel represented by either party, and she soon learned that many of her neighbors felt the same way.
Seth Haskin from Florida is also running in a district where one party has dominated for years. Trump won at least 60 percent of the vote in the past two presidential elections in Haskin's district, and local media mogul Jim Schwartzel won a tight and crowded Republican primary in August with almost 30 percent of the vote.
A "strict constitutionalist," Haskin, who previously also ran for governor of Wisconsin as a write-in candidate, said he could've seen himself in either party before the Covid-19 pandemic, before he believed that both parties had been "captured by the same industry leaders and PAC money and foreign lobbies and everything else."
"Even if I don't win, if I can get double-digit percentage points as an independent candidate, I will get a lot of phone calls from both parties," he said. "It's going to threaten the duopoly that they have, right?"
Businessman Michael Bridgford is running as an independent against Republican Rep. Mariannette Miller-Meeks and Christina Bohannan, the Democratic nominee and former state representative.
The Cook Political Report, which long had the race as a toss-up, recently rated the district as lean Democratic.
Bridgford said people are tired of the "dysfunction" from both parties and by watching Miller-Meeks and Bohannan compete, and they believe that independents can provide the stable center that will let the government solve problems...
And just to show that I'm not a completely heartless cynic, let's take a look at an "Independent" who's doing everything right.
Meet Arch “Pond” Naramore, about whom 99 percent of you have probably never heard. Naramore ran a long-shot campaign against Roger Marshall in the Kansas Republican Senate primary, promising an “independent voice.” Marshall won comfortably, but Naramore earned more than 20 percent of the vote. Then he did something that makes him worth talking about: he unreservedly endorsed the Democratic nominee, Adam Hamilton.
The video is here, but I didn't embed it because it's one of those TikTok vertical shorts that have no embed option when imported into YouTube. But go watch it anyway. You'll be glad you did. And way to go, Mr. Naramore!
Finally, let's go all the way back to the French Revolution. On a recent episode of "The Rest Is History" podcast, the hosts discussed what happened after Robespierre was guillotined: people who had recently counted themselves among his loyalists suddenly began insisting that they'd opposed him all along. They include this quote from a Captain Watkin Tench, who was taken and held as prisoner of war. During his imprisonment, Tench listened to people talking, and he said:
"Those who prostrated themselves like reptiles before Robespierre are now blaming him for all the assassinations and misery, to screen themselves from odium. Or the subordinate tyrants fix upon him and attribute to his orders the innumerable butcheries and acts of oppression which they have perpetuated."
So, during all the weeks and months and years to come, when you see Republican scum trying to wash the blood from their hands by cosplaying as "Independents" or getting their reputations rehabilitated by their friends in the legacy media, you know your assignment:
