Over the decades I have written predictive polemics about the media and the
Republican party that have been depressingly accurate, fictions and other flights
of fancy that featured real people and were, let's say, directionally correct, and stuff
that's somewhere in-between
as seen through a glass, darkly.
To-date, 12,000 of them, all told. +11,300 published, and +600 abandoned
in draft for one reason or another.
So, from time to time, for the next little while, in addition to new stuff written for our dark
age, I'm going avail myself of my own archives, and revisit the days when I
was was sporting a pony-tail, wearing a suit and tie to my job every
day, getting back to my Chicago condo from that job late at night and cranking out blog
posts at 1:00 in the morning. Back when there was an army of Liberal
bloggers like me, all in conversation with each other.
The pony-tale is
long-gone, as is the Chicago condo, and the job, and that army of Liberal
bloggers has been whittled down and down and down, but the writing remains. So, the plan is to repost on-this-date-20-years-ago material
intermittently, and see how things go.
So, typos and all, from April 11, 2005...
This is not a large number
In the comment section, SWR poses the question: “The real issue
is how we win the knuckledraggers in the south without becoming like the
knuckledraggers in the south.”
Good question from a very long-range
strategic perspective, but I think it’s the wrong one for the here-and-now.
Right
now, this dogfight is about 100,000 votes. This is
not D-Day. This is not the Apollo program. Hell, this is not even the Pope’s
funeral. This is about 100,000 votes.
Yes,
the South is the problem. No, the South
is THE problem. If I had a “Wayback Machine” and
could take one trip back, I’d haul ass to 1865 loaded for bear (sort of the
opposite of the plot of the very good “Guns of the South”) and demand that the
de-Nazification of the Confederacy be thorough and final. Southern racism and
the perverse White Privilege Ideology and theology they invented to
rationalize their racism is (and always has been) the biggest single source of
misery for this country.
It is the headwaters of a hundred other
sins. Every time some Right Wing Mole Rat pops out of the ground to denounce,
well, Reality, he always wraps his bile up in the yummy yummy bacon of
Almighty God. Consider what a typical Son of the South -- the trial judge said
in the case of Loving v. Virgina (1958) – write when he ruled against the
right of consenting adults of different races to marry:
“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow,
malay and red, and he placed them on separate
continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact
that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix."
Subtitute the “gay” for “race” and I dare you to tell me that these
squamous tubs of righteous stupidity have changed one iota in the last 50
years. Or in the last 100. Or 200. Their spoor is always the same and always
easy to smell: 1. Some group to hate and blame for their fucked up
lives. 2. Scripture that lets the believe that they have a Divine Right
to be ignorant fucktards. 3. Some means of enforcing their will (Nooses,
guns, burning crosses, fellow travelers in the courts and government.) 4.
A propaganda machine to Say It Loud (pulpit, floor of the House, Fox News,
Hate Radio.)
But we have three major political parties in this
country: Democratic, Republican and Dixiecrat...and the
NeoConfederates only survive by hopping from party
to party like the opportunistic disease that they are. If we were having this
discussion a century ago, I would have been a staunch Republican – a Lincoln
Man and proud of it (and burned as a witch for blogging during the
administration of Teddy Roosevelt.) But the perverse truth is that the Party
of Lincoln is now the Party of Jeff Davis, and the Stars-and-Bars now fly over
the grave of the Great Emancipator.
There are a lot of reasons why
my politics are the way they are, and case-by-case I may side with a variety
of surprisingly different groups, but in this case it’s easy. I look to see
where the cross-burners, Fundies, militia goons, clinic bombers and racists
have made their nests. Then I run like Hell in the opposite direction...and
these days that’s more than enough for me to vote (D) almost every time.
But
for now, fuck the South. Thinking about how to deal with them -- writ large --
is too vast. First, we have to win, and winning means 100,000 votes, and they key to that is around the edges.
The “moderate”
Republicans I know are horrified by DeLay and Santorum and Terry and the rest.
They thought they were voting for tax cuts. And Law and Order. And getting to
keep the Glock they like fondling. Even though they had been warned
(pedantically, by me among others) they really, truly never believed that the
Right Wing was dangerous, and never noticed that the Fundies are about as
fundamentally opposed to the original principles of the GOP as you can get.
So
what’s the plan?
These people need to stay home in disgust next
time around, or be so terrified of the fact that Randall Terry is now the
Madam of the GOP Whorehouse that they’ll vote Democrat or Independent even
though they believe that they might go to hell for it. And our job is to keep
pounding away at them, personally, face-to-face. They voted for this shit and
we need to hang it in all its stinking glory around their necks at every
opportunity. And thanks to the towering arrogancy and rabidity of the Ultras,
making this case gets easier and easier every day.
Never again let
them get away with saying, “But I didn’t KNOW?”
Of
course you knew. How could you possibly not know? And if you are that fucking
ignorant of the A-B-C’s of your own party, what in the Hell are you doing
within a country mile of a voting booth?
And more importantly, now
that you DO know about it, what are you going to do about the mess you made?
Or don’t you believe in “Personal Responsibility?” Man,
they hate that :-)
100,000 votes is
nothing. It’s a margin or error. It’s two Chicago wards.
So let’s
go get ‘em!
Next up: Can this blogger stitch together dildos,
killdeers and recess nominations? Stay tuned...
Well that was fairly unnerving and infuriating to revisit after all this time.
And a reminder that while writing that stuff as warning in 2005 made Liberal bloggers into media pariahs, writing exactly this same sort of stuff in the Age of Trump once it became far too late to stop the worst from happening has made the same recently-former Republican who slandered us as alarmist, America-hating cranks back then, into wealthy Liberal media darlings, sought-after speakers, and best-selling authors.
In this week's episode, we dive into why Republicans keep winning the messaging war despite their policies hurting average Americans. We explore how stories consistently triumph over facts in political discourse and why Democrats' reliance on statistics isn't working. From "The Inspector General" to parables in the Bible, we examine how powerful narratives shape public perception more effectively than cold, hard facts. We also break down the absurdity of Trump's tariffs, the mainstream media's underwhelming coverage of protests, and why Medicaid is secretly a middle-class benefit that affects more Americans than you might think. Join us for an episode that might just change how you think about political communication in these chaotic times.
...Republican elites will retreat to their safe places and let the MAGA
meatheads be sacrificed.
And as they take shelter from that storm, rich beyond the dreams of Avarice
and secure far away from the catastrophe they have created, those Republican
elites will be laughing all the way.
Because no one has greater contempt for the expendable MAGA meatheads than
their own fascist leaders.
And, having fucked everything up again, when the meatheads show up at our door looking for relief
again, confused and in denial again, still seething with contempt for us and their need for us to fix what they
have broken again, and still infected the Hate Radio talking points like zombies carrying the
plague, my advice is this...
How It Started... a post from me from 15 years ago -- three days after the odious "No Labels" scam was conjured into existence.
Note the title.
Dead Center: Political Cowardice Now Has Its Own "Movement"!
Yay!
In case you ever idled away an afternoon screwing around with your old political chemistry set/fantasy football league lineups and wondering what would happen if you took a bunch of Republican primary losers (Charlie Christ)...added in a goonbag of out-of-work and out-of-favor former Republican speechwriters and campaign button-men (David Frum/John Avlon/Mark McKinnon)...the last of the politically arteriosclerotic insider DLC goofs who aren't already drawing paychecks under the Obama Administration's "Former Clinton White House Full Employment Project" (Nancy Jacobson aka. Mrs. Mark Penn)...Republican minor teevee celebrities (Joey Joe Joe Junior Scarborough)...
...and David Fucking Brooks?
And then sprinkled the resulting crime against nature with an assload of money (because there are always, always endless assloads of money available for any horrible idea that reinforces Villager sensibilities)?
What you get crawling out of the Petri dish are things like the autotuned, content-free, sugar-coma-inducing horror that is --
I mean, ever since the Republican Base ducked out on paying the tab for a generation of being loudly and catastrophically wrong about everything by putting on funny hats, screaming about liberty and calling themselves "The Tea Party", their sleazy Centrist enablers have been seething with jealously. Quite suddenly the monster they built didn't need them anymore and the skeevy hustlers who had helped create the Racist/ Corporatist/ Dominionist Confederacy on the bones of the New Deal and the grave of the American Dream found themselves cast out and looking for their next meal ticket.
Preferably a meal ticket under a banner that -- like "Tea Party -- wouldn't keep bringing up their horribly inconvenient past as the sleazy, enabling hustlers.
Hey, kids! I have an idea! Lets peel those the icky, damning labels off of everything and -- presto! -- there is magically no longer any difference between rat poison and apple sauce!
Former Sen. Joe Manchin is working on a memoir. ‘Dead Center’ is scheduled for September
Former Sen. Joe Manchin has a memoir coming out in September, what the self-styled maverick from West Virginia calls his “declaration of independence from the extremes on both sides.”
St. Martin’s Press announced Tuesday that Manchin’s “Dead Center: In Defense of Common Sense” will be released Sept. 16.
Manchin, 77, announced last year he wouldn’t seek re-election after serving in the Senate since 2010 and becoming the rare Democrat to win in a state which otherwise votes for Republicans by wide margins. Manchin had long branded himself as a moderate beholden to no ideology and would often chastise Democrats or upend legislation when Senate Democrats held a tiny majority during the presidency of fellow party member Joe Biden.
Last summer, Manchin left the Democrats altogether and identified as an independent, although he continued to caucus with his former party. In a statement issued through St. Martin’s, he said that “Dead Center” was a “declaration of independence” and a handbook for governing...
Because, as I wrote 15 years ago, there are always, always endless assloads of money available for any horrible idea that reinforces Villager sensibilities.
"The big Republican accomplishment is that they have detoxified their brand. Four years ago they seemed scary and extreme to a lot of people. They no longer seem that way." -- David Brooks, November 11, 2014
The Professional Left Podcast with Driftglass and Blue Gal
Time to dive into Donald Trump's tantrum-driven manufacturing policy and catastrophic tariff regime. We follow the destructive path of his administration as it systematically dismantles Biden's successful manufacturing initiatives - from shutting down EV charging stations to threatening billions in loans for electric vehicle factories. We explain how manufacturing jobs create a powerful multiplier effect (each job creates nine other jobs), and how Trump's policies are now subtracting jobs from the economy.
Then it’s time to give Driftglass space to deliver a scathing analysis of David Brooks' latest Atlantic article, "I Should Have Seen This Coming" - exposing how Brooks has been writing essentially the same column about the GOP "stumbling but recovering" for over 20 years while ignoring the cancer growing within the party.
Plus, we share stories from our recent weekend trip to Chicago, discuss the ongoing manufacturing labor shortage, and highlight the absurdity of Trump administration officials like Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessant, and Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins as they attempt to defend these disastrous economic policies.
Join us for another no-holds-barred examination of how conservatives are deliberately destroying economic progress simply to erase Democratic accomplishments.
As you might have noticed, recently I've been talking up the fact that I've
been at this keyboard now for 20 years, and thank you all for indulging me and
the kind words and the Tip Jar contributions that some of you sent which is
deeply appreciated, and for which I have not yet made the time to write
individual "Thank-Yous".
Bad blogger! Bad!
So I figured it was time to close that little bit of endzone gavotting and
move on with current events, and maybe bring it up again at 25 year mark, at
which time I assume all contributions will be in the form of either DOGE
bitcoin (should Musk's vaporware currency become the mandatory Mark of the
Beast), rubles (should Trump finally just sign the country over to his
paymaster in the Kremlin), or promises of real eggs and Victory gin (should
Trump's curb-stomping of the economy continue apace.)
But come-what-may, it would be a matter to be taken up in 2030. But here-and-now it's time to get back to the goings in the here-and-now.
Then I picked up my crisp, new copy of The Atlantic...
OK, that's not even remotely true. Instead, my inbox was flooded with
screenshots and quotes from the headline story in The Atlantic, urging
my attention.
Oh my sweet and fluffy Lord, why do you do this to me?
OK.
Fine.
To quote the most consequential line in American literature,
"All right, then, I'll go to hell!”
But to get there, be forewarned that I'm going to ride this hobby horse
around the block and back again. However, I also promise that I will
keep quotes from this abomination to a minimum.
Let's start with the second paragraph:
Until January 20, 2025, I didn’t realize how much of my very identity
was built on this faith in my country’s goodness—on the idea that we
Americans are partners in a grand and heroic enterprise, that our daily
lives are ennobled by service to that cause. Since January 20, as I have
watched America behave vilely—toward our friends in Canada and Mexico,
toward our friends in Europe, toward the heroes in Ukraine and President
Volodymyr Zelensky in the Oval Office—I’ve had trouble describing the
anguish I’ve experienced. Grief? Shock? Like I’m living through some
sort of hallucination? Maybe the best description for what I’m feeling
is moral shame: To watch the loss of your nation’s honor is embarrassing
and painful.
The Alert Reader will notice that Mr. Brooks' mental spellchecker remains
broken beyond repair; still automatically swapping in the word
"Americans" when the word he is hiding from is "Republicans".
Brooks continues:
George Orwell is a useful guide to what we’re witnessing. He understood
that it is possible for people to seek power without having any vision of
the good. “The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake,” an
apparatchik says in 1984.
Hey, here's a fun fact! According to my temporal panopticon machine,
the last time David Brooks cited George Orwell at length was April of
2003.
Golly, that's almost exactly 22 years ago!
It was in a column entitled "The Collapse of the Dream Palaces" which
Brooks wrote when he was the managing editor of Bloody Bill Kristol's
now-defunct The Weekly Standard, and in which Mr. Brooks cheered on
Bush's totally awesome conquest of Iraq ("Now that the war in Iraq is over...") and danced his neocon happy dance on the graves of everyone who had
ever doubted the inerrant wisdom and military genius of George W. Bush.
GEORGE ORWELL was a genuinely modest man. But he knew he had a talent
for facing unpleasant facts. That doesn’t seem at first glance like much
of a gift. But when one looks around the world, one quickly sees how
rare it is. Most people nurture the facts that confirm their worldview
and ignore or marginalize the ones that don’t, unable to achieve enough
emotional detachment from their own political passions to see the world
as it really is. Now that the war in Iraq is over, we’ll find out how
many people around the world are capable of facing unpleasant facts.
In the article, Brooks took special pleasure sticking it to those he deemed
the worst of the worst. That would be us Murrica-hating, terrorist-luvin' Liberals.
Finally, there is the dream palace of the American Bush haters. In
this dream palace, there is so much contempt for Bush that none is
left over for Saddam or for tyranny. Whatever the question, the answer
is that Bush and his cronies are evil. What to do about Iraq? Bush is
evil. What to do about the economy? Bush is venal. What to do about
North Korea? Bush is a hypocrite.
In this dream palace, Bush, Cheney, and a junta of corporate
oligarchs stole the presidential election, then declared war on Iraq
to seize its oil and hand out the spoils to Halliburton and Bechtel.
In this dream palace, the warmongering Likudniks in the administration
sit around dreaming of conquests in Syria, Iran, and beyond. In this
dream palace, the boy genius Karl Rove hatches schemes to use the
Confederate flag issue to win more elections, John Ashcroft wages holy
war on American liberties, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, and his
cabal of neoconservatives long for global empire. In this dream
palace, every story of Republican villainy is believed, and all the
windows are shuttered with hate.
Of course, within a matter of a few years it turned out all those terrible
things the Bush haters believed were true. Worse than true, actually:
the perfidy and incompetence of the Bush administration set the stage for the rise of a monster like Trump, and the Both Siderist poison Brooks
and his imitators kept pumping into the America body politic decade after
decade lowered the bar sufficiently for Trump to clear it.
In fact, within seven years everything about Bush's Iraqi Clusterfuck that Brooks had ballyhooed so loud and hard in this article and in a number of others had collapsed so utterly that, when publicly confronted with his own words from this very article, Brooks would deny writing any such thing. I know this because I was there when he did it and I filmed him doing it. If you're interested, click here for the whole story -- "All The Lies That Are His Life".
Anyhoo, five months later, in September of 2003, while Bush's Iraq war was
still wildly popular with Conservatives, and the complicit legacy media was
attempting to further ingratiate themselves to the Bush regime by hiring
every pro-war neocon in sight, Brooks parlayed his support for the
Iraq war, his support for Bush's massive tax cuts, and his seething contempt
for the Left into a job for life at The New York Times.
Where, like a finely tuned clockwork mechanism that always runs backwards and predictably farts, then poops, then explodes in your hand every couple of days, he has been pretty spectacularly
wrong about almost everything ever since.
I don't have the time or the will to summarize the literally thousand of
posts I have written over the decades detailing all the myriad ways in which
Brooks has either been just wildly wrong, or has invented or exaggerated
some Liberal sins so that he could trowel out yet another slab of Both Sides
Do It offal, or has held himself willfully ignorant of the state of his
Republican party so that he could use his position at the Times to
spin of fairy tales about an imminent recovery of the GOP which never
happens, or the any-minute-now renaissance of the Conservative movement
which never arrives.
But he is why, despite my best intentions, I must once again flog the fact
that I have been blogging for 20 years now, because it was 20 years ago this
week -- April 9, 2005 -- when I penned my first column vivisecting
the work of Mr. David Brooks of The New York Times.
Longtime readers will not be surprised to learn that Brooks' column 20 years
ago was all about his claim to a slowly dawning realization that maybe his
party was going just a little funny in the head.
Here are a few snips from my post from April 9, 2005 deconstructing Brooks;
David Brooks from the 04.09.05 NYT in which BoBo looks incrementally
past his grotty navel and notices he has a couple of stinky little feet
at the end of his legs. Article has been trimmed a bit, and helpful
translations have been added for You The Customer.
The Republican Party is running into a problem: the conservatism of
the American people. Over the past decade, the Republicans have set
themselves up as the transformational party...
[But the American people] have a taste for order and a distrust of
those who want too much change on too many fronts too
quickly...
Translation: They are scared shitless that the Crazier’n a Shithouse Rat
Theocrats that the Evil Liberals have always warned them about might
actually exist and have the keys to the car. Oh and all the Mapquest
Route Planners they left behind as clues have a place called
“Armageddonville” circled in big, red Crayon.
It's become increasingly clear that the Republicans are bumping into
some limits...
Translation: limits like...gravity, evolution, arithmetic, international
law, economics. Why does reality hate Republicans?
Being conservative, most Americans believe that decisions should be
made at the local level, where people understand the texture of the
case. Even many evangelicals, who otherwise embrace the culture of
life, grow queasy when politicians in Washington start imposing
solutions from afar, based on abstract principles rather than
concrete particulars.
Translation: Even in the middle of my faux critique of my own Overlords
...must ...regurgitate ... ”culture of life”
meme...every...six...minutes. Hope no one notices what a trained seal I
have become.
Then there is Social Security reform. Republicans set forth with a
plan to give people some control over their own retirement accounts.
Here, too, Republicans have been surprised by the tepid public
support. Americans understand that there is a big problem, but right
now most oppose personal accounts invested in the markets. According
to a Wall Street Journal poll this week, a third of Republicans
currently oppose them.
Translation: We were all shocked when the public didn’t think letting
Thurston Howell’s idiot son bulldoze Mom’s retirement money onto the
craps table was a spiffy notion. We were stunned when our Soviet Style
“spontaneous” crowds of carefully screened zombies came across like a
Pravda Puppet Show.
For the uninitiated, you should know that Brooks writes one of these "What is it Lassie? The GOP stumbled a little? But it'll all work out
OK? Cool!"
columns every few months, and has been doing so for the past 23 years.
It's one of the three or four variations of tepid horseshit columns he
cranks out that are so nearly-identical to one another, they may as well
have been written by algorithm.
So, indulge me a little here. I wanna try an experiment.
Let us
say, for the sake of argument, in response to Brooks' column today
I wrote the following:
So today David Brooks wrote a very special column.
It was not a column explaining that the Republican party --
his Republican party, his Conservative
movement -- really is just a festering cesspit of paranoia and bigotry and
fury, because he has already written himself into an inescapable corner by
writing so many columns over so many years swearing that this was not so.
And it certainly was not a column saying the simplest, and most obvious
truth of all -- that the Left was right about the Right all along --
because on that day the small clutch of wealthy men who have subsidized
his Whig Fan Fiction Factory for years would cast him down from his
high place and leave him unprotected to the predations of the job
market. Were that to happen, Mr. Brooks would not last a week.
Instead, Mr., Brooks has written a letter of supplication to that small
clutch of wealthy men, begging them to let him keep his job as the
Greatest Conservative Public Intellectual in Murrica. Promising to
do better next time.
Moreover, many in the media, especially me, did not understand how
they would express their alienation. We expected Trump to fizzle
because we were not socially intermingled with his supporters and did
not listen carefully enough. For me, it’s a lesson that I have to
change the way I do my job if I’m going to report accurately on this
country.
And, for the sake of further argument, if I told you that, buried 1,000
words deep in Mr. Brooks' column today entitled
"I Should Have Seen This Coming" you would find these
paragraphs --
I messed up big time in not knowing Trump was coming. And so
when something like that happens you take a look at yourself and
you think "What did I miss about America?" And...I'm...too much
in the Acela corridor. I've gotta get out. That's one
thing.
Believe me, I travel every week, but I'm at a college here...so I'm
always within the bubble. And so I've gotta get out. But
then the other thing is, like, I've achieved way more career success
than I ever thought I would, so it's time to take some chances on the
spiritual realm, on the personal -- the emotional realm, and
I've...got nothing to lose...
-- there would be no reason not to believe me, right?
After all, I've got a more-or-less honest face, in all the time we've known each other I've never steered you wrong about
Brooks, and those sorts of sentiments would seem to track for a column
entitled "I Should Have Seen This Coming", right?
But...nope.
That bit about "So today David Brooks wrote a very special column"? That was me from the last time David Brooks claims he
suddenly woke up to discover that there was something amiss inside his
GOP.
And while those other two paragraphs are indeed from David Brooks, they are
also all from nearly a decade ago. They're both from March of 2016 from his appearance on the
now-defunct Charlie Rose Show the same week.
20 years ago I made a wager with myself. To keep up-to-date on which lies and delusions were the new hotness among the Beltway pundits and elite
Centrist politicians, I needed to keep an eye on Brooks and document what I
saw. Because out of all the Sensible Conservative frauds who had
insinuated them into the institutional media and were methodically
destroying it from within, I saw clearly that this balding, bespectacled
little nebbish was and is that ecosystem's apex predator.
He was the worst. Using his ubiquity and influence to shield
the GOP from serious scrutiny behind a scrim of lies, deflections and Both
Siderism. And while the horror that was spawning itself inside
the GOP like a fast-moving cancer was right there, clear as crystal, black
and white for anyone to see who chose to look...
...over and over again Brooks chose not to look.
In point of fact, he chose to lie to his readers over and over and over again.
Just as Fox News and Hate Radio grew wealthy and powerful telling the
reprogrammable meatbags of the Republican base the lies they wished to
believe, so too did Brooks make himself wealthy and influential telling
New York Times readers, and NPR listeners, and PBS and
Meet the Press viewers the lies they very much wanted to believe.
When looked at over the span of decades as I have done, Brooks' columns
present the unmistakable stink of routinized institutionalized
duplicity. A ritual of dishonest and deluded mantras repeated over
and over again, especially when it comes to the state of the GOP.
His readership, which includes U.S. presidents, university presidents,
senators, CEOs and captains of industry -- movers and shakers who all
desperately want to believe him -- have been fed, over and over again,
the pundit equivalent of one of Zeno's Paradoxes. Specifically, the
Dichotomy Paradox:
Since any distance can be divided in half, the arrow has to take an
infinite number of steps to reach its goal. Since you are adding an
infinite number of steps together, it would take an infinite amount of
time to reach the goal. This means the arrow will never reach the
target.
For decades, however catastrophically awful the GOP became -- however
unbearable the reek from the rotting corpse of the Party of Lincoln became
-- Brooks' columns held out the promise to his readers that the end-state
could never arrive. That nation may stumble, but it
could never fall, and the stumbles, however bad they were, were always
reversable.
This was Brooks sounding the "All Clear" on
November 5, 2014,
mere months before Donald Trump slithered down the escalator
The big Republican accomplishment is that they have detoxified their
brand. Four years ago they seemed scary and extreme to a lot of people.
They no longer seem that way. The wins in purple states like North
Carolina, Iowa and Colorado are clear indications that the party can at
least gain a hearing among swing voters. And if the G.O.P. presents a
reasonable candidate (and this year’s crop was very good), then
Republicans can win anywhere. I think we’ve left the Sarah Palin phase
and entered the Tom Cotton phase.
And when all that sweet-sweet talk of detoxing came to absolutely nothing, in
April of 2016 Brooks decided to tell his readers a different
fiction. From me, back then:
...And on this, the last day of 11th blogiversary fundraiser,
the blogging gods have once again visited Mr. David Brooks in
the night and "inspired" him to write what may be the most
spectacularly ridiculous piece of Whig fan fiction in his long and
profitable career of cranking out ridiculous pieces of Whig fan fiction.
The blogging gods are often cruel, but they are always entertaining.
Today, Mr. Brooks imagineers out of thin air an entire army of
public-spirited Reasonable Republicans who will infiltrate
the Republican convention in July cleverly disguised as party
hacks but then -- surprise! -- cast off their fake George Wallace noses
and Pat Buchanan wigs just in time to rise as one! A veritable League of
Extraordinary Whig Gentlemen! ("The Lincoln Caucus"):
Or they could choose the collective path.
This is the path that recognizes that the situation we’re in now is
more like a parliamentary process than a presidential process. Even
very small groups can have an amazing influence over big candidates
who are trying to build a majority coalition. Think of the way small
Israeli religious parties extract concessions from the much larger
Israeli parties.
So I’m suggesting some number of delegates organize themselves into
a caucus called the Lincoln Caucus. The Lincoln Caucus would not be
an explicitly anti-Trump caucus or an anti-Cruz caucus. It would
just be a caucus made up of delegates who are not happy with the
choices currently before them...
Earth's mightiest imaginary Conservative heroes who will remake the
GOP exactly as David Brooks wishes it to be:
The first thing the Lincoln Caucus would do is plant a flag for a
different style of Republicanism. Members of the caucus would remind
the country that there still are Republicans who believe in prudent
globalism, reform conservative ideas to lift up the working class.
There are still Republicans who believe in certain standards of
polite behavior in public and pragmatic compromise.
And either save the party from ruin:
This process would bring the Trump and Cruz campaigns back toward
the Republican mainstream. It would create a road toward party
unity after one deal or another was reached. It might go some way
toward heading off a general election debacle.
It would also create a democratic path toward a Republican
nominee who is not Trump or Cruz...
Mostly, members of the Lincoln Caucus would stand up for the
legitimate rights of the party. In our republican system, it is
parties that choose nominees; not primary voters. Parties are
lasting institutions that manage coalitions, preserve historical
commitments, protect us from flash-in-the-pan demagogues and
impose restraints on the excessively ambitious. The Lincoln Caucus
would embody these legitimate institutional responsibilities.
Or, wait out the Trumpocalypse in David Brooks' Justice League
World Headquarters and emerge from the rubble to lead the survivors
towards a brighter, Whiggier tomorrow:
If the Republican ticket gets devastated in November, members of the
Lincoln Caucus could say, “We stood for something different,” and
they’d be in a good position to lead the rebuilding process.
Or, failing that, make their escape via Mr. Brooks' hot air balloon and
settle on the Moon, which will be be very hospitable to their Whiggish
ways once the King of the Moon is sufficiently placated:
However, passing off delusional spit-balling as some kind of workable elite strategy could only ever take Brooks so far. Same with his continuous
whitewashing the GOP's depraved past: necessary but insufficient.
To pull this all off, Brooks had one more enormous sledgehammer of a lie in
his pundit kit. A lie that he repeated with such robotic regularity in
virtually every column for decades that, after a while, I got to where I could predict
with unnerving accuracy how that lie would be deployed in each column --
predict it almost down to the paragraph in which Brooks would drop the "razor
in the apple".
My wife will vouch for me :-)
This is, of course, the biggest lie of all. The Big Lie that makes all
the little lies possible. The Both Sides Do It lie. And kids, Mr.
David Brooks is the motherfucking pope of the High and Holy Church of Both Sides Do
It. And for the sake of my poor, tired typin' fangers, I will indulge
myself once again by copy/pasting my own words from years gone by...
I will note once again that, for all the blather he has been selling suckers
for $24.99 about his tortured midlife-crisis wanderings between the Torah
and the Beatitudes in search of God and Meaning, anyone who isn't one of Mr.
Brooks' acolytes or fellow-travelers and has actually read what Mr. Brooks has actually written over these past
15 years with an unjaundiced eye can easily identify
his true faith.
Both Sides Do It
Both Sides Do It is his most fervent catechism.
Both Sides Do It is
the mistress he will always return to no matter what lies he tells himself
or his wife.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better
than wine. Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment
poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his
chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love
more than wine: the upright love thee..
The cathedral where he
will always go to preach his sermons and collect his pay.
And I
will note once again that the descent of Mr. Brooks' Republican party into
fascism and madness and the concomitant rise of Republican monsters like
Donald Trump would never have been possible without the relentless barrage of false equivalence punditry which
has been the stock-in-trade of media quacks and parasites like Mr. David Brooks for decades.
However, having said all that (and so much more), what has been clear to me
for a very long time now is that 20 years of deconstructing Mr. Brooks' lies
-- no matter how plain or fancy my words are, no matter if I use humor,
pathos, metaphor, or rhyme it all in iambic tetrameter -- none of that has had
any effect whatsoever on elite opinions about David Brooks.
They still revere him, hang on his words and buy his books.
Brooks as been so successful selling his top-shelf, Both Sides Do It snake oil
to credulous elites that this was Senator Cory Booker's opinion of David
Fucking Brooks as of February 16, 2025
I've had the honor of knowing David Brooks for years. I admire him and
have been deeply moved, informed, inspired, and bettered by his books and
talks.
He was a Republican when I met him. I don't know his party affiliation
now. What I do know is he has always been a man of virtue, objective
reasoning, pragmatism, wisdom, and invaluable insights.
And this was was judge J. Michael Luttig's opinion of David Fucking Brooks
today. You might remember Luttig from his many, many guest appearances
on MSNBC. He was that life-long Republican and arch
conservative judge, until January 6th, 2021.
From the great David Brooks of The New York Times, in the May volume of
The Atlantic. Everyone should read every word of this historic
piece. It's worth the price of a subscription to The Atlantic,
without question the most courageous magazine in America today.
And yet I do not despair or consider my time wasted, because for every
senator or judge or CEO or Meet the Press host who lavished Brooks
with treacly praise, down here at the grassroots level where all things
begin, there is a different story.
For example, Alert Reader Walt has okayed me to reprint (in part) the email
he sent to me this morning, provided I cite him as
"Walt Auvil, flagrant violator of David Brooks copyright".
"The pathetic thing is that I didn’t see this coming even though I’ve
been living around these people my whole adult life."
“I should have understood this much sooner, because the reactionaries
had revealed their true character as far back as January 1986.”
“Owning the libs became a lucrative strategy.”
Could it be that the scales have fallen from his eyes?!?
Of course not, the razor in the apple . . . .
“Of course, the left made it easy for them. The left really did purge
conservatives from universities and other cultural power centers. The
left really did valorize a “meritocratic” caste system that privileged
the children of the affluent and screwed the working class. The left
really did pontificate to their unenlightened moral inferiors on
everything from gender to the environment. The left really did create
a stifling orthodoxy that stamped out dissent. If you tell half the
country that their voices don’t matter, then the voiceless are going
to flip over the table.”
Walt understands the assignment.
And, once again, this has always been Brooks' go-to move: when cornered by the absolute moral bankruptcy of his recently former political party, the complete failure of his Conservative movement and the utter hollowness of his own life's work...quick! Find some shit to fling at Liberals! From me, less than a year ago ("David Brooks Has No Immediate Plans to Engage With the Real World in Any Way"):
Donald Trump is more unhinged, openly fascist and dangerous than ever, and is once again cruising to an easy nomination by the GOP. The Republican party and Conservative movement which Mr. David Brooks devoted his entire adult life to building has centrifuged out the last few stray non-lunatics and is nothing but a pure, deranged shitpile of bigots, imbeciles and grifters from top to bottom. The Republican Supreme Court which Mr. Brooks has always aggressively defended, has dropped any pretense of legitimacy and now acts as the GOP's own private revolutionary tribunal
And all of these horribles, acting in concern, are straining every political, judicial and financial sinew to shove this country into a totalitarian abyss from which it, and the world, may never recover.
So, in the face of all that, what has captured the interest of the Most Ubiquitous Elite Media Conservative Pundit in Murrica on this 80th anniversary of the Allies storming the beaches at Normandy to put an end to the evil that the Republican party now embraces?
From Mr. David Brooks of The New York Times, June 6, 2024:
The Sins of the Educated Class
Yes, in the face of the immediate and existential threat posed by his recently-former party and his recently-former movement, Mr. Brooks has scampered back to his Safe Space to carp about the behavior of a tiny number of students on a few elite campuses.
For Conservatives during these turbulent times, this ritual has been as basic as praying at the Stations of the Cross is for old-school Catholics, or performers rubbing the Tree of Hope stump at the Apollo. This is just a small sampling...
However, thanks in no small part to you, dear readers, every day I see good people
flying the "Both Sides Don't" banner across social media. It's gotten
to the point where pundits now feel the need to (badly) pre-buttal their
stupid opinions with assurances that "this isn't one of those Both Sides
things." Which, of course, only calls attention to how very much a
Both Sides thing it is.
So good on ya!
Also the amount of blunt and immediate pushback Brooks now gets when he runs
his mouth? Well, let's just say that it makes my old Liberal Grinchy
heart swell in a delightfully non-life-threatening way.
Example: from Kevin Kruse:
Finally, if you can see your way clear to indulging this unemployable Liberal degenerate one more time, let us end on a
point I raisedseveral thousand posts ago:
You see, Mr. Brooks' relationship with the actual here-and-now here in America has always been a lot like Mr. Brooks' first marriage: a disaster
from Mr. Brooks which has been trying to get as far away as humanly
possible, because it is the graveyard of all his ridiculous postulating and
pontificating about Man and God and Culture.
This is why Mr. Brooks has always reserved some of his biggest, gassiest
lies for long paeans on the subject of Conservatism's amazing imaginary past
-- which is always juuust out of sight in the Republican rearview mirror --
and Conservatism's awesome imaginary future -- which is always juuust over
the Republican horizon.
And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling
Republican voters...