Thursday, December 02, 2021

Professional Left Podcast #627

“You can complain about the incivility of politics, but you can't stop the escalation of conflict in the middle. You have to kill it at the root. Unless Roe v. Wade is overturned, politics will never get better. ” 
 -- David Brooks, NYT houseplant, April 2005

Don't forget to visit our website -- -- for all those sweet bells and whistles:  there are links to donate to our podcast work at that site, as well as links to our swingin' Zazzle merch store,  our respective blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Kittehs! and much more. Many thanks once again to @theologop for building it all for us!

The Professional Left is brought to you by our wholly imaginary "sponsors" and real listeners like you!

Wednesday, December 01, 2021

Maybe The Real Treasure Was the Money They Made Along the Way

How it started.

How it's going.

But in between was the fun part.

The part where so much shit was rained down on the very, very few among us who saw tens of thousands of credulous Liberals lining up to jump into the Lincoln Lads' windowless panel truck and let them drive them waaay out into the woods no questions askes and said...

...,"You know, maybe this isn't a great idea."

Maybe your money and energy would be better spent somewhere other than on buying beach houses for the same goofs who spent their entire professional lives building the monster factory that spawned Trump and all of his wormy imitators and did everything in their power to stomp everything you value to death.

Maybe don't fling yourselves into their arms like drunk prom dates just because they made you feel special and validated by whispering "You're right, Trump is an asshole" in your ear and made some political porn that got you all tingly in your bikini area but wasn't going to flip any votes or yield any other tangible electoral results.  

That was the fun part.

And being lectured endlessly by fellow Liberals about how anyone who said anything bad about Trump was automatically a trusted ally?  And that anyone who question their credentials needed to shut up and sit down?  That the enemy of my enemy is mow my fucking supervisor?  

Well that was all jolly good fun too.

I've already written enough about the Lincoln Lads that I could've spun it off as its own blog or substack or whatever, so if you're interested you should check those posts out.

As for me, I repose serene in the knowledge that, thanks to the largess of credulous Liberals and the tens of millions of dollars worth of Free Media lavished on them by cable teevee and various national publications, they Lincoln Project is now a brand

And that, dear friends, is where the money is.

Burn the Lifeboats

The Kavanaugh Court

Burn The Lifeboats

Saturday, November 27, 2021

Finally Got Around To...

 ...sorting and sleeving the contents of our Trump Years Swear Jar.

Not quite enough to buy out the local Sinclair broadcasting outlet, fumigate it and establish a Liberal blogger colony on the site, but it's something.

PS. Sorry about the national coin shortage.  My bad.

Burn The Lifeboats

Friday, November 26, 2021

Listening to Joe Walsh Interview Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks is Like Unto...

...chugging some exotic, multi-tiered drug cocktail that Hunter Thompson might have mixed up: a pleasant buzz that takes you up and up, followed by a brutal nutpunch of crazy.   

At the front end, their observations about the inner workings of the media are spot on.  There is apparently (smiles) a "club" out of which you will be cast if you're not 100% down with the corporate party line.  MSNBC allegedly tried to put Uygur out to pasture by offering to pay him twice as much as he was making for his weekday show, but exiling him to the weekends, so he walked.  Walsh couldn't make the transition from "Libtards are the Worst.  If Trump Loses, Grab Your Muskets and Follow Me!" to "Trump is a Golden God" so he was shown the door at Clear Channel. Also, if you want to hear Walsh drone on for 15 minutes about how courageous it was for him to quit/be bounced off of Team Evil -- I lost everything! I lost all my fascist friends!  Nobody at the Ministry of Wingnut Propaganda wants to gimme a job! -- this is the podcast for you.

However, at the back end comes the crash in the form of Uygur's performance as Shouty, Bernie Woulda Won Reenactor.  A lot of history had to be carved up and buried deep for Uygur's story fit, and he leans into it with all his voices.

As he tells is, Bernie would have easily swept the field were it not for Barack Obama (who, according to Uygur, was behind the scenes, pulling all the strings and barking all the orders) and James Clyburn (who, according to Uygur, is the worst hack and phony in history.)  Clyburn somehow tricked all the black voters in South Carolina who were foolish enough to trust into voting for Biden, and then the mainstream press -- under orders from Obama -- brainwashed the rest of the Democratic base into following suit.

Also, according to Uygur, "Nobody hates progressives more than Joy Reid".  In fact, she's part of a group at MSNBC which "hate progressives more than they hated Trump."

There's other stuff, but this isn't a transcription service.

Anyway it's quite the ride.  I can't recommend it, but you should know that such a thing exists.  

Burn The Lifeboats

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Professional Left Podcast #626

“To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do.” 
 -- Victor Hugo, writer

Don't forget to visit our website -- -- for all those sweet bells and whistles:  there are links to donate to our podcast work at that site, as well as links to our swingin' Zazzle merch store,  our respective blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Kittehs! and much more. Many thanks once again to @theologop for building it all for us!


The Professional Left is brought to you by our wholly imaginary "sponsors" and real listeners like you!

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

For Conservative Pundits Who Have Considered the Democrats When the End of the Right Is at Hand

Once or twice over the history of this little blog in the middle of Middle America I have irresponsibly speculated that the existence of David Brooks could only be explained as some kind of sociology experiment gone wrong.  Something that was begun as a goof by a member of the Sulzberger family, who then wandered off and forgot about it:

You would not know it from reading any of the +1,300 columns that Mr. David Brooks he has written for The New York Time over the past 15 years (which are, for the most part, +1,300 slight variations of the same column) but Mr. David Brooks is so much more than just a man who has gotten wealthy repeating the same bullshit over and over again long past the point where it stopped being funny and started being a cult.

Mr. Brooks is, in fact, a fascinating social experiment:  a social experiment that has gone drastically wrong.  Specifically, an experiment in just how far the Sulzberger family is willing to go and how much they are willing to spend to prop up a mediocrity whose only job is to repeat the same stupefying fairy tale, twice a week, every week, forever.

It should have lasted a year.  Like when the Times hired Mr. Brooks' former boss, Bloody Bill Kristol, to immunize themselves against the angry emails and blog posts of berserk, pro-Bush chicken-hawks.  And then cashiered Kristol after a year because he was a shitty writer and wrong about everything

A year, it should have lasted.  Maybe two, for a goof, or to settle some weird, rich-guy bet...

Sadly, the little experiment in letting Conservative mediocrities like Mr.  Brooks runs wild just to, y'know, see what happens has now run on, wild and uncontrolled, for decades which has resulted in rampant Conservative pundit overpopulation and Conservative bullshit bursting out of the lab and poisoning the entire ecosystem.

One of the more bizarre byproducts of this runamok experiment has been that some of the original experimental Conservative lab rats like David Brooks have begun to adapt by attempting to mutate into what can be charitably described as warped caricatures of the Liberals they used to mock as alarmist crackpots.

So now, like the West Virginians of 2041 who will watch helplessly as their coal mines fill and ash pits overflow with floodwater and think, "Y'know, maybe taking climate change seriously would have been a good idea" David Brooks has begun to peek out from behind the shield walls and barbicans of his Beltway media fastness to behold the toxic wasteland of the Deranged Right that he worked so very hard to create and think...

The Terrifying Future of the American Right

What I saw at the National Conservatism Conference

By David Brooks

Too late pal.  30 years too late.  

And then, skipping lightly over to Mr. Brooks' day-job at The New York Times we find -- 

Joe Biden Is Succeeding

By David Brooks

-- in which Mr. Brooks builds a column out of the simply reading his own newspaper and pointing out the reality of what's happening outside of the Right's toxic wasteland.  Such as this:

All of these [Democratic] bills were written to funnel money to the parts of the country that were less educated, less affluent, left behind. Adam Hersh, a visiting economist at the Economic Policy Institute, projects that more than 80 percent of the new jobs created by the infrastructure plan will not require a college degree.

And this:

The Biden $1.9 trillion stimulus package passed and has been tremendously successful. It heated the overall economy. The Conference Board projects that real G.D.P. growth will be about 5 percent this quarter. The unemployment rate is falling. Retail sales are surging. About two-thirds of Americans feel their household’s financial situation is good.

But the best part is that the benefits are flowing to those down the educational and income ladder. In just the first month of payments, the expanded Child Tax Credit piece of the stimulus bill kept three million American children out of poverty. Pay for hourly workers in the leisure and hospitality sector jumped 13 percent in August compared with the previous year. By June, there were more nonfarm job openings than there had been at any time in American history. Workers have tremendous power these days.

And so forth.

However since David Brooks is David Brooks, it's impossible for any Times column with his name attached to it to be written without a couple of features.

First, there must be Brooks-brand razors in the apple buried somewhere near the middle.  And so, David Brooks, America's #1 unreconstructed Bush War Pimp, must frame America's long overdue exit from the doomed Afghanistan fiasco as

Sure, there have been failures — the shameful Afghanistan withdrawal, 

And since David Brooks, remains America's #1 unreconstructed Both Siderist, he is contractually obligated to scrounge up an Imaginary Dirty Hippie to punch...

...failing to renounce the excesses of the cultural left. 

And second, both this column and his Atlantic article must be written without any recognition whatsoever that the rising tide of toxic Conservative sludge that's now lapping at Mr. Brooks' doorstep would have been impossible without the willing assistance of Conservatives like David Brooks who, for decades, used their enormous media presence to deflect, trivialize and often simply lie about the escalating threat from the Right until it was too late.

Far too late.  

Burn The Lifeboats

Monday, November 22, 2021

It's Both Siderists All The Way Down

Local David Brooks impressionist has opinions.  

From The Illinois Times:

The missing middle 
Both political parties have moved away from the center 
By Scott Reeder 

If you think you have some vagrant memory of Mr. Reeder being mentioned on this blog before, you remember a'rightly.

From July:

It's Brookses All The Way Down

...Ordinary citizens are limited to one submission every 30 days, with no guarantee that anything of theirs will ever be printed.  And I know for a fact that there are a group of dedicated local wingnuts who submit every month and then immediately start the 30-day countdown clock.  On the other hand, there is no limit to how often a guest columnist can be published, which brings us to SJ-R guest columnist Mr. Scott Reeder, who find his way into the pages of the SJ-R much more frequently than once every 30 days,  and whose tag line reads as follows:

Scott Reeder is a veteran statehouse journalist. He works as a freelance reporter in the Springfield area.

So just some guy, right?  Someone of no particular political or ideological credential, who reported from the statehouse for awhile and now puts his stuff around on a freelance basis.  And who, this week, used his easy access to the pages of the SJ-R to bring to its readers' attention the single gravest problem plaguing America politics today:  The Extremes on Both Sides!!

 And I guarantee you that if you squint your eyes even slightly, you will not be able to distinguish between this column by Mr. Scott Reeder and every single fucking column Mr. David Brooks has written for The New York Times over the nearly 20 years he has been cranking out Both Siderist gruel for the Sulzberger family.

Break out your electron microscope and scan Mr. Reeder's words down to the quantum level and you will not find even a hint that Donald Trump was ever president or that just six months ago Republicans attempted to violently overthrow the  United State government, and came within a hair's breadth of succeeding...

I bring Mr. Reeder to your attention once again  A) because his column deeply offends me and, B) to remind you that there is no getting rid of this Both Siderist shit now.  As I wrote a decade ago, the constant pounding away by the Beltway media on this one Very Big Lie decade after decade has had the desired effect:

Once you start listening for it, you cannot help but notice how the Big Lie of Centrism has seeped into everything and now shows up everywhere

Like Strontium-90 in the milk:

The winds carried Strontium-90, Iodine-129 and other lethal particles across a broad swath of the country. Infants who were bottle-fed, which was then considered the modern approach, were particularly vulnerable to the Strontium-90 that ended up in cows' milk. 
In 1961, as John Kennedy was poised to resume atmospheric testing after a two-year moratorium, he met with White House science adviser Jerome Wiesner in the Oval Office one rainy day. The president wondered how fallout reached the earth. Wiesner explained that it was washed out of the clouds by rain. "You mean," Kennedy asked, "it's in the rain out there?" As Wiesner tells it, the president then "looked out the window, looked very sad and didn't say a word for several minutes." ...
Burn The Lifeboats

Professional Left Podcast #627

“You can complain about the incivility of politics, but you can't stop the escalation of conflict in the middle. You have to kill it a...