Every Fucking Chicken In This Room

You may have noticed that Republican meatbags, their elected twats and grifters, and the talking heads who tell them what to think are all so very salty and out-and-proud fuck-you-Libtards these days.  And if you've not been around as long as some of us, you may think their Short Bus Swagger is something new and different.  

But it's not. 

Republicans are natural cowards, so they only get this way when they believe that they are, once and for all, safe from the consequences of their actions.  Then and only then, when they think the coast is clear, do they come strutting out with ALL CAPS and lots of exclamation points and misspellings like the preening simpletons that they are.  

This is a reminder that they were very much this same way back during the Before Time, when a small group of power-hungry neocons sold them on the idea that they could slake their innate thirst for sadism, restore their withered manhood, and find redemption, retribution, glory, national greatness and cheap gasoline in the sands of Iraq.  The war would pay for itself.  

And it would be so easy!  Over by Christmas!  

And you the very best part?  They could swaddle themselves in the flag and rub their super-duper-patriotism in the faces of all us smug, America-hating, terrorist-loving lefties.  

Plus there was plenty of cushion because, somehow, the gummint was now running a budget surplus,  so, hooray!  We also get huge tax cuts!

Even David Brooks couldn't resists counting all those delicious chickens before they'd hatched. 

And you know what? (He said, breaking the metaphor just a little) Those chickens did hatch!  Republicans successfully turned the shitty Afghan war they got into the excellent Iraqi war they hungered for.  They got their tax cuts.  They got their anointed-by-Almighty-Conservative-Christian-Jebus president.  They got the lowbrow Conservative media -- Fox News and Hate Radio -- night and day, braying their moral superiority over us dirty hippies.  The got the highbrow Conservative media -- National Review, Weekly Standard -- braying their moral superiority over us dirty hippies using bigger words.  

And they got the hated mainstream media to roll over for all over it.  

Then Reality showed up to eat every fucking chicken in the room.

First, there was the inconvenient fact that Osama bin Laden was still on the loose.  But after all, their anointed-by-Almighty-etc. leader, said he wasn't concerned, so big whoop, right?

Then, as it all began to fall apart, well, let's give it another six months.

And then another six months.

And then another six months.  

Then came disaster after disaster, all with big, bloody Republican fingerprints all over them.  

Then, as I wrote 19 years ago last month:

In five years, having voted for Bush will have become the parachute pants of this decade.

It will become the “Oh my GOD. What the fuck was I thinking?” shameful secret people will occasionally and elliptically allude to by piping up with, “well, he did good after 9/11” as schoolchildren are taught what a disaster on every front and by every measure he was, and as adults who now have to pay and pay dearly for the myriad lies and crimes and follies of George W. Bush recount his Top 100 Fuckups and bitterly laugh and laugh and laugh.

What I did not fully appreciate at the time was the speed and ferocity with which both the legacy media and Conservative media would collude to shove the entire Bush administration down the memory hole.  And, as a corollary to that, I also underestimated how fast the Right would roll out a magical Bush-Off machine which would erase any trace of their complicity in all the heinous shit they had just been proudly cheerleading.   Or how, once again, the legacy media would go along with the okey-doke and let Republican voters off the hook for the horrors they had been so eager to unleashed.

So, here we are again but worse.  Republican foreign policies, trade policies and domestic policies are, collectively,  several dozen dangerously incendiary disasters just waiting to happen, all wired together, lacking only the right spark or two to touch it all off.  So touchy.  So precarious.  And Republican meatbags, their elected twats and grifters, and the talking heads who tell them what to think are all very ostentatiously stomping around, using shreds of the constitution to light up big, fat cheroots and flicking lit marches in every direction.

In the end, Reality will always get its chickens.

Burn The Lifeboats