Elmo's America Party Reaches The "Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly" Phase Of Its Trajectory

From Daily Kos:

A moment of silence for tech billionaire Elon Musk’s political party, which lasted—check notes—just six weeks.

According to The Wall Street Journal, citing people familiar with Musk’s plans, the Tesla CEO is hitting the brakes on his “America Party,” telling allies he wants to focus on his struggling companies and is wary of launching a third party that could siphon off GOP voters. Musk, naturally, gives himself too much credit: His so-called coalition barely registers with pollsters, and surveys suggest the party would have been dead on arrival.

At least this time Elmo's failure didn't scatter potentially lethal debris all over hell's half acre. 

The explosion of a huge SpaceX rocket above South Florida led to massive headaches for air travelers who were forced to endure unexpected delays due to the company's latest mishap on Thursday.

The FAA had to halt air traffic around Miami, Fort Lauderdale, West Palm Beach and Orlando in fear of "space launch debris,” following the SpaceX failure.

"After all my years of traveling, this is a first," wrote a Facebook user who identified himself as pharmaceutical executive Ray Peck after his flight to South America was forced to land in Miami.

I Am The Liberal Media

My Tesseract Party Campaign Platform (Updated and Under Construction)

 As you all know, in 2022 I launched the Tesseract Grift Party which rejected the false divisions of all states of matter, energy and politics!

We weren't Left.

And weren't Right.

But also we weren't Forward.

And not Behind.

Instead, the Tesseract party pledged to be fully present in all four dimensions and at all quantum states.

We sought to avoid the partisanship of the Left, Right and Forward parties by recognizing that, at the subatomic level, all of us are equal.

And that's where true reform must begin: at the quantum level.  

Well, that didn't go over like the house on fire my advisors thought it would, so we went back to the drafting table and are reworking the party platform so we can 

1. Regulate sound levels across all streaming and broadcast platforms so that it doesn't jump wildly every god damn time you change the channel.  


2. If citizens over 55 or 62 or 65 will continue to be referred to as "Senior Citizens", then citizens under 55 or 62 or 65 will now officially be referred to as "Junior Citizens".


3. Any Democratic office holder, candidate for office, influencer, loudmouth or "ally" who uses any variation of the phrase "this isn't a partisan issue" or "this isn't about left or right" gets tased in the taint.   


4. Any Democratic office holder, candidate for office, influencer, loudmouth or "ally" who insists that we drop the issue of Donald Trump's massive coverup of his dead best friend's child sex trafficking network in favor of "kitchen table issues" will be required to spend six hours sitting at the kitchen table of a MAGA simpleton and listen respectfully to them yawp about Obama and treason and Crooked Hillary and Joe Biden how eggs now cost 9 cents a dozen and gas is virtually free and 202 was rigged and Donald Trump was sent by Jesus.


5. Medicare for all, legal weed, legal abortions and all the rest of the good stuff.

More to come and thank you for your attention to this matter.

Ain't no party like a Tesseract party

'Cause a Tesseract party don't stop 

at three dimensions!