Professional Left Podcast Episode 935: The Wheels On The Cross Go Round And Round

“Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many" -- Matthew 24:11

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Professional Left Podcast Episode 933: Meanwhile, In Local Fascism...

“Are you a communist?”

“No I am an anti-fascist”

“For a long time?”

“Since I have understood fascism."

-- Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls

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Meanwhile, In Local Fascism...

...the local chapter of the "Every Accusation is a Confession" party is reacting to the events of the past week just exactly as you would expect.

From Peoria news station 25, "Your Home Team", and WAND, "Central #Illinois' best source for #news and #weather." (see what they did there with the little hash-tags):

Illinois Freedom Caucus seeks Pritzker’s removal from office over ‘vile’ rhetoric

Yes, we have our very own, Illinois legislature "Freedom Caucus", because "fascist see, fascist do".

The Illinois Freedom Caucus has filed articles of impeachment against Gov. JB Pritzker over “vile comments” made against Republicans.

The eastern Illinois Republicans are furious with Pritzker’s response to the assassination of conservative influencer Charlie Kirk.

Pritzker expressed sympathy for Kirk and his family while condemning political violence at an unrelated event Wednesday. However, the Democrat said President Donald Trump ignites this type of violence.

“We saw the shootings, the killings in Minnesota. We’ve seen other political violence occur in other states,” Pritzker said. “I would just say, it’s got to stop. I think there are people fomenting it in this country. I think the president’s rhetoric often foments it.”

That's what our governor, J.B. Pritzker said.  Simple.  Clear.  Factual.

But because they wear the Special Glasses -- 

-- this is what local MAGA nitwits heard:

Republicans have criticized Pritzker’s increased attacks on the GOP over recent years, including a speech where Pritzker said Republicans cannot know a moment of peace earlier this spring. Many are upset that Pritzker blamed their party’s leader for the rise in violence following Kirk’s death.

“For him to say these things for political gain is unacceptable,” said Rep. Adam Niemerg (R-Dieterich). “That’s what this is all about. This is about political gain for radical Democrats and pushing a woke narrative. They can’t amount to anything to get that done, including assassinating conservatives at college campuses.”

"Political gain"?  Check.

"Radical Democrats"? Check.

"Woke narrative"? Check

They really are just reprogrammable meatbags.  

Niemerg and Rep. Chris Miller (R-Hindsboro) told WAND News they know Democrats have no desire to impeach Pritzker. They argued that other Illinois Democrats are complicit in the governor’s actions.

“Just the rhetoric is nonstop about being Nazis and about being fascists,” Miller said. “That includes people like me. I’m a farmer from downstate Illinois. I’m about the farthest thing from a Nazi that you will ever see. It’s extremely inflammatory to me personally and also my family and all the things we stand for.”

What's exactly is the difference between someone who is a member of a fascist political party, who votes for fascist, votes with fascists, who helped nominate a fascist for president three times and got him elected twice ... and a fascist?  Sounds an awful lot like being just a little bit pregnant.

Also, Fun Fact:  Chris Miller, leader of the state-level Illinois Freedom Caucus is the husband of Mary "Nazi" Miller, who regularly disgraces herself and embarrasses the state as the representative from Illinois' 15th congressional district, which, at a rating of Batshit+20, is Illinois most conservative district.  

Here is more of what governor Pritzker actually said:

Pritzker said no one in this country should have to fear gun violence, whether they’re in class in high school or attending an event on a college campus. The Pritzker administration reiterated that the governor condemned the shooting that killed Charlie Kirk and believes political violence should never become the norm.

And here is the predictable Illinois Republican Freedom Caucus freakout:

“Just two nights ago, I called for the governor to resign frankly over his terrible comments blaming Trump and Jan. 6 for Charlie Kirk’s political assassination,” Niemerg said. “The governor has shown that he is not capable of leading. He has shown that he needs to be removed from office, and that needs to happen immediately.”

Because the only law these elected Jukes and Kallikaks believe applies to them is Murc's Law.

No, that's "Burke's Law".

This is Murc's Law.

“Murc’s Law” [was] named after a commenter at the blog Lawyers, Guns, and Money who noticed years ago the habitual assumption among the punditry that Republican misbehavior can only be caused by Democrats. Do Republicans reject climate science? Must be because Democrats failed to persuade them! Did Republicans pass unpopular tax cuts for the rich? Must be that Democrats didn’t do enough to guide them to better choices! Do Republicans keep voting for lunatics and fascists? It must be the fault of Democrats for being mean to them! Even D____ T____’s election was widely blamed on Democrats — who voted against him, to be clear — on the bizarre grounds that Barack Obama should have rolled over and just let Mitt Romney win in 2012.

So, has this ludicrous, stumblebum circus made any forward progress in the past few days?  Well, if you define "progress" in the broadest possible terms, and measure it in micrometers, I suppose it has.

From WGN, Chicago, today:

Pritzker’s rhetoric sparks impeachment calls from Illinois conservatives 

As you know, we here at the driftglass blog love a good rhetoric sparking that leads to calls for things.  Tell me more, World's Greatest Network!

Sadly it's mostly retreads of what we already know ... except this.  Using the opening three paragraphs to execute what we in the trade call the ol'  "A.P. Stylebook eyeroll".

Amidst a debate over how to quell political violence in America, Illinois elected leaders from both sides of the aisle are calling for a change in tone. 

Hey, both sides agree that tones should be changed.  Isn't that great!

In the aftermath of the fatal shooting of activist Charlie Kirk, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker has called for the country to come together to end political violence.

And the governor is leading the way.  Isn't that terrific! 

And then, the eyeroll, which I will highlight for your elucidation...

But the Illinois House Freedom Caucus, comprised of conservative state lawmakers, accuses the governor of inciting violence. The group brought articles of impeachment against Pritzker, citing various statements made by the Democratic Party, including remarks in New Hampshire back in April.

The article continues:

Illinois State Rep. Adam Niemerg (R-Dieterich) further explained the motivation behind the Illinois House Freedom Caucus.

“We’ve proceeded with Articles of Impeachment against Governor Pritzker for his own hateful rhetoric, as well as no safety and security here in the state of Illinois,” Niemerg said...

Republicans also criticized Pritzker for statements made during his February State of the State address.

“The authoritarian playbook is laid bare here: They point to a group of people who don’t look like you and tell you to blame them for your problems. If you think I’m overreacting and sounding the alarm too soon, consider this: It took the Nazis one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours, and 40 minutes to dismantle a constitutional republic,” Pritzker said...

Niemerg said Pritzker is attempting to do a bureaucratic shuffle.

“He’s trying to act like his hateful rhetoric has not been heard by the radical left,” Niemerg added.

Then, in the last paragraph, comes the little touch that makes it art.  The article covering what everyone knows is time-wasting garbage conjured into existence by the dregs at the bottom of the Illinois MAGA barrel is bookended by another A.P. Stylebook eyeroll, which I have highlighted for your edification:

The Articles of Impeachment are unlikely to move forward, as the Democratic supermajority in Springfield would need to agree to bring the bill to the floor. Also worth noting is that the GOP leadership did not introduce the measure.

Worth noting indeed.  

Mark this hot saga as "Developing!"

I Am The Liberal Media

Professional Left Podcast Episode 927: Pritzker's Honor

"Do you follow American politics? They hate Obama. Hate him. He's a black man. That's what it is: it's racist. This guy is no bleeding-heart liberal. He's a centrist." -- Ian McShane (once again.)

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Springfield 1, Noem 0

Rendition Gulag Barbie was scheduled to come here this morning so she could stand in front of the Governor's residence and mouth off.  So, along with a number of neighbors and fellow travelers, I hied myself down to the the guv's house to share in a spirited public expression of "Fuck Right Off" in response to her presence.  

But because she is a coward she never showed up.  And you could clearly see why.  The guv's residence was decorated in "Due Process For All" banners, and  of the more than 100 people I saw at the thing, among all the signs and clackers and cowbells and air horns, nary a single MAGA goof did I see.  Not one fascist-friendly face.  Instead, turns out Rendition Gulag Barbie was reduced to flying all the way here to skulk in an alley miles away with a few of her fellow fascists before beating it out of town.

How embarrassing.  

From The Illinois Times:

Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem a no-show at Governor's Mansion

Held press conference instead near the site of Emma Shafer's murder 

On Tuesday afternoon, the Department of Homeland Security announced that Secretary Kristi Noem would be visiting Springfield the following morning to tout her "Making America Safe Again" agenda and speak out against Gov. JB Pritzker's immigration policies and Illinois' status as a sanctuary state.  No time or location for her press conference was publicized, but it was believed that she would make an appearance in front of the Governor's Mansion at 10 a.m.

The Springfield Immigrant Advocacy Network, Illinois State AFL-CIO, 50501 Illinois and other activist groups began encouraging their supporters to show up and stage a counterprotest. A crowd gathered in front of the Governor's Mansion this morning, many with signs and some with their faces obscured to conceal their identities, but Noem did not appear...

Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias held a press conference across from the Governor's Mansion at 10:30 a.m. in response to Noem's visit.

"The combination of cowardice, incompetence and cruelty is a very scary mix," Giannoulias said. "So while I'm glad she's not here, we need to step up as as a society, as a country and as a democracy to monsters like Kristi Noem."

From The Dominican Sisters of Springfield, Illinois

Kristi Noem has no right to use Emma Schafer when her mother is across town protesting her unconstitutional approach to immigration.

From my alderwoman:

The DHS and Feds picked the absolute wrong person to use as a prop today in Springfield, IL. Her memory and her LIFE’S WORK will not be defiled by the absolute ghouls who did this and those from our community who stood by in support of doing this. In the words of our Governor, may they never know a moment’s peace.

A message from her parents:

Of course the Springfield Immigrant Advocacy Network was there.

Can you spot me in this pic?

Well done, Springfield.  After cowing Rendition Gulag Barbie into such a humiliating public retreat practically in the shadow of one of her bosses loudest and most effective critics (from The Hill) --

Pritzker’s office mockingly calls for ‘all pet owners’ to beware ahead of Noem visit

-- because I am a movie nerd, I can't help but think about what Sam Spade sarcastically tells the incompetent gunsel, Wilmer,  in The Maltese Falcon after easily stripping him of his ridiculously large guns:

Come on.  This'll put you in solid with your boss. 

She ran away.  And you know how Trump loves it when his people make him look like a fool. 

No Half Measures

Professional Left Podcast Episode 896: It's The Corruption, Stupid

"The corruption that hides in plain sight is the real threat to our democracy."  --  Zephyr Teachout

Links:  

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Senator Durbin To Retire

Since my wife forbade me throwing my Carhart cap and the lovely hand-knit hat she made for me into the ring, the field is now wide open.  I have my own local favorites, but Illinois is a big state with a deep Democratic bench, so let the irresponsible speculation begin!

Also too, some memories...

I Am The Liberal Media.

It's Stupids All The Way Down

Rep. Mary Miller says that "climate change is a sham": "God controls the climate because he controls the sun and the sun controls the weather, primarily." pic.twitter.com/xXnFOaSmJI

— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) April 10, 2025

No Half Measures

Professional Left Podcast Episode 889: Glib-eration Day

"Fun Fact: The word 'tariff' comes from an old Ottoman Turkish word which, loosely translated, means 'I can't believe these fucking meatheads keep falling for this grifter's bullshit'. "  -- driftglass

Links:  

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You Shall Not Pass

My dear wife has asked me to write a short post about the accomplishments of our governor, J.B. Pritzker, who is receiving a Crooks & Liars Hero Award.

Which is impossible.

You can either have a short post about J.B., or you can have a tally of his accomplishments, but not both.  What he has done in terms of policy and budgeting alone would require a TL;DR that might kill the Crooks & Liars servers, and we can't have that.  

If you're looking for him on BlueSky, he's at ‪@govpritzker.illinois.gov‬ and this is his latest, "Blue"?  "Sky"? "Skittle"?  What are we calling these things?

We're ensuring every mother, regardless of race, income, or zip code, has access to the care they deserve in Illinois.

I'm proud to announce an expansion in Medicaid coverage to include doula and lactation consultant services and closing another gap in maternal health care. 

Under Pritzker, Illinois has passed four balanced budgets that lead to three credit upgrades in the past year...

Oh wait, that's the 2022 budget stuff.

Here's the 2023 budget stuff:  Passed five balanced budgets that led to nine total credit upgrades since Governor Pritzker took office. This budget prioritized generational investments in early childhood education and childcare, the teacher pipeline, higher education, and efforts to fight poverty. 

Which is an improvement over 2022 in at least two ways.  First, is the obvious fiscal soundness of his policies.  Hell, we even have a rainy day fund now!  Second, whoever wrote the press release in 2022 has learned that it's poor rhetorical construction -- "this budget prioritized investments in key priorities" to use a variation on the word "priority" twice in one sentence.

Pritzker cut taxes on everyday needs like gas, groceries, and school supplies; while also providing property tax relief, tax rebates and an expansion of the Earned Income Tax Credit.   He also oversaw a fifty percent increase in total tax reported from adult-use cannabis.  Hence, the rainy day fund.  

And if all that sounds like I lifted it from a press release, well, I did.  That's what press releases are for. 

If you'd like to read the whole thing, here's the link.

The tangible improvements that Illinois has seen during the Pritzker administration are impressive, but equally as impressive are the intangibles.  J.B. Pritzker lets everyone know that he is a god damn Democrat and proud of it.  A union supporter, and proud of it.  A protector of a woman's right to choose, and proud of it.  An LGBTQ ally, and proud of it.  

And given what we all may be facing over the coming months and years, it is a comfort to know that the chief executive of my state is ready and willing to stand athwart the fascist mob and tell them "You shall not pass!"     And has enough fuck-you money put by to make a go of it.

Burn The Lifeboats

Who is Tom Homan?

He's the guy in this picture shaking Trump's hand.

This is from Americas Voice, which is a pro-immigration group.

Immigration 101: Who is Tom Homan?

Tom Homan was the former acting director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), the federal immigration agency responsible for arresting and deporting undocumented immigrants, from 2017 to 2018. Since leaving the Trump Administration, Homan has associated with hate groups and has been a vocal messenger of white nationalist conspiracy theories. Homan recently told the New York Times he would “agree to come back” in a second Trump term and “run the largest deportation operation this country’s ever seen.” 

Under Trump, Tom Homan was notorious for wanting to prosecute elected officials and directed the department to mass-deport immigrants regardless of priorities. “You should be uncomfortable, you should look over your shoulder, and you need to be worried,” Homan warned undocumented families in 2017. During a speech the following year, he bragged that he was “enjoying” then-President Trump’s deportation agenda.

In late 2023, Tom Homan went on Fox news to discuss historic levels of deportation under a possible Trump second term. He stated, “No one’s off the table [for deportation]. If you’re in the country illegally in violation of immigration law, you are a target.” He continued by saying, “I’m not fooling myself into thinking we can remove twenty million people. But, you know, we’re going to give it one hell of a shot and remove as many as we can.“

Since at least 2018, Tom Homan has been a readily-available anti-immigrant Fox News contributor, where he has profusely spread the dangerous and violence-inducing white nationalist narrative of a migrant “invasion” at the border. Homan blamed Biden for a rise in border apprehensions months before the 2020 election even took place, and continued to talk about an “invasion” as an “intentional” move by the Biden Administration.

This is from Newsweek, March 03, 2023:

Trump's ICE Director Doesn't Care About Families Separated at Border

During his time as acting director of ICE, Homan was in charge of the early version of

Trump's "zero tolerance" immigration enforcement policy that detained and criminally

charged adults who crossed the border into the U.S. without permission. Detained adults

who entered with children had those children taken from them, which generated much

controversy and criticism because families found diculty in reconnecting later since the

government didn't have a system in place for reunification.

"I'm sick and tired of hearing about the family separation," Homan said at CPAC. "I'm still

being sued over that.... I don't give a s***, right? Bottom line is, we enforced the law."

...

Homan, though, indicated during his remarks at CPAC that he did not have much

sympathy for parents who are separated from their children when they enter the U.S.

without permission.

"When I was a cop in New York and I arrested a father for domestic violence or someone

for DUI [driving under the inuence], I separated that family," he said. "When you violate

the law with a child, you're going to be separated."

"They chose to separate themselves," Homan added.

So why bring you the bio of this thug?

Because just days ago, right here in Sangamon County, just a couple of miles from where Lincoln is buried,  for the low-low price of just $50, you could've heard this fascist goon expound on the glories of Donald Trump and how much he looks forward to getting back into the mass deportation business if Trump slimes his way back to power in November.

Yes, in keeping with it's long and shameful tradition of paying the worst people to come to town to fire up the local Republican meatheads, last week Homan was the keynote speaker at the annual Sangamon County Lincoln Day fundraising dinner.

Here were your donation options:

$125 per person Reservation for Dinner & Program

$50 per person VIP Reception (must include dinner purchase) Meet & Greet the Speaker

$1000 per couple – Secure Border Roundtable with Speaker Tom Homan and Other Officials

Here were your Sponsorship options:

$2000 Lincoln Great Table seating closest to the stage. Dinner for ten (10). Complimentary Wine, Gift Basket. Name listed in program and on video display.

$1500 Presidential Choice Table and Dinner for ten (10). Name listed in program and on video display.

$750 Legislative Five (5) dinner reservations. Name listed in program and on video display.

$150 Railsplitter Sponsorship only – no dinner reservation. Name listed in program.

Because I wrote about it last year and because we mentioned it on our podcast last year, some of you may remember that last year the Sangamon County's GOP Lincoln Day dinner headline was serial liar and David Plouffe's new bestest podcast buddy, Kelleyanne Conway.

From our local paper:

Kellyanne Conway, an advisor of former President Donald Trump, will be the keynote speaker of the Sangamon County Republican Party’s annual Lincoln Day dinner.

Sangamon County GOP chair Dianne Barghouti Hartwick said the dinner, scheduled for 6 p.m. on May 3, has been a fundraiser for the party dating back more than 100 years. Tickets begin at $125 per person for the dinner with photo opportunities available for $50 each.

The year before that, it was Charlie Kirk, which I wrote about at the time.

And before Chuckles Kirk it was Candace Owens, which I also wrote about at the time

And before that it was Jason Chaffetz, one-time congressperson and current Fox News troll who now lives in Donald Trump's underwear drawer, which, yep, wrote about that one too.

The year before that it was Fox News in-house train-wreck/barfly,  Jeanine Pirro.  Wrote about that.

The year before that wingnut-network-job-hopper and H.R. Haldeman stunt-double, Corey Lewandowski.

The year before that, in 2016, it was none other than Fox News prime-time Gorgon and Keith Olbermann's former girlfriend, Laura Ingraham.
 
And on and on and on.

If you were ever curious about how we out here in the cornfields have been so consistently, dead-on accurate for decades with our predictions about the trajectory of the Republican Party, while our elite professional political media has been so repeatedly and catastrophically wrong about the GOP, it's really pretty simple.  Unlike our our elite professional political media, we actually live out here in the real world, chock-a-block with real Republicans who have never been shy about what they really believe.   

In fact, as I write this, the Hugh Hewitt Show is playing on one of the two big radio station in the area.  He's on 9AM-12PM, Monday through Friday.  And if I don't want to listen to Hewitt, I can always tune in to the other big radio station in the area where, at this moment, the Brian Kilmeade Show is playing.  He's on 9AM-11AM, Monday through Friday.  

Later in the day, on the first station, you get Sean Hannity followed by Mark Levin.  

Later in the day on the other station you get Dana Loesch followed by Erick Erickson 

The first station pads out it's weekend offerings with America First with Sebastian Gorka, The Larry Kudlow Show, Newsmax's own Chris Plante on the Chris Plante Show and, hilariously. The Weekend with Michael [Heckuva Job, Brownie] Brown.

The second station takes it's foot off the wingnut gas over the weeked with shows like American Family Farmer,  Let’s Talk Cosmetic Dentistry and The Jesus Christ Show, but it does find room late on Sunday night for Judge Jeanine Pirro.

This is the ambient radio environment out here in much of the real world -- the poison that Republicans out here in the real world are steeping in every day --  and it's been this way for going on 40 years now. 

And there is absolutely no fucking way to fail to notice it, unless your job as an elite political media professional is to deliberately fail to notice it.  

I Am The Liberal Media

Irrational Numbers

Y'know, we Liberals here in the Land of Lincoln are very fond of our governor.  He has signed into law a lot of legislation that gladdens our hearts, cleaned up a lot of our budget mess, and he has enough f-you money to bankroll much of the Illinois Democratic party, with enough left over to spread around to other critical elections beyond our boundaries.  

Plus, he's not afraid to throw elbows in a political fight, which, in Illinois politics, is right up there with rooting for da Bears, or standing up and cheering when The Bear takes home an armload of Emmys.  

But when he's wrong, he's wrong.  And even when his wrongness looks as mouthwatering as a rack of ribs from Lem's to a Democrat hungry for good news, we must demure.  We must speak the truth as we know it.  This is what separates us from the MAGA freaks.  

So what did JB get wrong?

From Meidas Touch Network:

Pritzker on Iowa: Almost Half of GOP Base Rejected Trump in Show of Weakness  

 

The Illinois governor said that Trump's margin of victory in the Iowa caucuses shows his general election weakness.

Speaking to Rachel Maddow on MSNBC Monday night as Iowa Caucus results poured in, Illinois Governor and Biden surrogate J.B. Pritzker put the results into perspective.

"Almost half of the base of the Republican party showing up for this caucus tonight voted against Trump. Think about that," Pritzker said, as Trump hovered around 50% of the vote with more results still to be determined.

Pritzker continued, "So, I think that is telling. It tells you the weakness of Donald Trump."...

First of all, kudos to MSNBC to finally figuring out that we have some pretty formidable and successful Democratic leaders out here in flyover country, and putting one of the best on the air in prime time.

Second, sadly, Pritzker's math is just wrong.  This was also a mistake make by veteran political strategist Joe Trippi on Xwitter, and by Lawrence O'Donnell on the aforementioned MSNBC.  Here's why it's a mistake.  The Meidas Touch article continues:

Trump claimed over the weekend that 95% of the Republican Party is MAGA. Yet, entrance polling showed that only 49% of Iowa caucusgoers in the Republican Party considered themselves to be part of the MAGA movement.

To cite no less of an authority than Dr. Julius Hibbert (The Simpsons):

"And hillbillies prefer to be called 'Sons of the Soil,' but it ain't gonna happen!”

The last 20 years of Republican politics has been one long series of rebranding scams.  Hardcore, "Impeach Clinton at any cost" Republicans effortlessly morphed into "How dare you question George W. Bush's genius, ya damn commie!" Republicans, then, after the Bush regime collapsed, they morphed yet again into into "Independent constitutional conservatives".  Then into Tea Party conservatives who had never even heard of George W. Bush.     Then into MAGA.

Almost overnight, millions of Won't-shut-up-about-the-deficit Republicans transformed into Who-cares-about-the-deficit Republicans ... and then back into Won't-shut-up-about-the-deficit Republicans ... and then back again into Who-cares-about-the-deficit Republicans without breaking stride.

The point is that it doesn't matter what they do or do not call themselves, they're all Republicans.   Our very own Blue Gal saw this coming all the way back in August of 2016:

Don't You Dare Call It 'Trump-ism'

The Media is attempting to separate the Republican Party from Donald Trump. Who voted for him again?

It isn't Trumpism. It's the Republican Party. And it has been for far longer than Donald Trump has been running for President...

Whatever they call themselves, 10 million more of them came out of the woodwork to vote for Donald Trump in 2020 than in 2016.  Because at the end of the day, Republicans will always fall in line.   Just ask Marco Rubio, who, in 2016, had this to say about Donald Trump -- 

"He is a con artist. He runs on this idea he is fighting for the little guy, but he has spent his entire career sticking it to the little guy — his entire career." 

-- and two days ago, wholeheartedly endorsed him:

When Trump was in WH I achieved major policies I had worked on for years (like expanded Child Tax Credit & tough sanctions on regime in Cuba & Venezuela) because we had a President who didn’t cave to special interests or let bureaucrats block us.

I support Trump because that…

— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) January 14, 2024

When I look at Iowa, I don't see a Republicans party riven by division, half-MAGA and half fleeing MAGA, ready to shatter.  Instead, like Dave Weigel, I see a party where all the available alternatives are aligned with Trump, regardless of what they call themselves:

MAGA (Trump): 51%

Reformed MAGA (DeSantis): 21%

Orthodox MAGA (Vivek): 8%

Republican Classic: 19%

So, sorry JB.  If Democrats are focused, aggressive and well-financed, it's a fair bet they can peel off enough Republican voters in enough swing states to win in November.  But it's long past time to stop pretending that some Republican "fever" is going to break and half the party will return to "normal".

Trump is the new "normal", 

He and his brand of fascism are the new normal because the Republican party and Conservative media spent the last +40 years and billions of dollars trying to build an electoral doomsday machine with no "off" switch. 

And they succeeded.

I Am The Liberal Media

Dear Savvy Pundits Who Learned Everything They Know About Chicago Politics From a Fast Glance at Wikipedia

Keep the name of my beloved former home out'cher goddamn mouths.

After a long disquisition about how different Washington D.C. is now than how she fondly remembers it five years ago...

[Note to self:  Remember to send Sara Longwell the complete works of George Pelecanos and David Simon.]

... we join Ms. Sara Longwell of The Bulwark and MSNBulwark sharing her deep political knowledge of Chicago with listeners.

Longwell: That's when you get change elections.  Now the one thing in this election in Chicago in particular...

Fairly sure the only thing Ms. Longwell knew about Chicago in particular before this was how much a whiskey sour will set you back at the O'Hare airport Jazz Bar.  

Longwell: ...in particular, it's clear they don't want HER.  But she had somebody running to her left.  And then there's, like, a Republican that won.

The last Republican mayor of the City of Chicago was "Big Bill" Thompson who served in that office from 1915 to 1923 and from 1927 to 1931, and was the loyal stooge of Al Capone, about whom I'm sure even Sara Longwell has heard.

At that time one could not get a whiskey sour at O'Hare Airport because, A) the Volstead Act would not be repealed by the 21st Amendment until 1933 and, B) O'Hare did not exist.  

At that time, that location was known as Orchard Place.  It later became a manufacturing site for Douglas C-54 Skymasters during World War II. And was not opened as a commercial airport until 1955, during the first term of Richard J. Daley, about whom I'm sure even Sara Longwell has heard.

Longwell: ...And then there's, like, a Republican that won.  And I guess my question is, is it possible Chicago elects a Republican mayor in this environment? 

No.  

For two reasons.  

First, Paul Vallas is not a fucking Republican.  He has run for many public offices in Illinois, and lost, as a Democrat, which is not exactly Curs'd Sekret Knowledge available only to the elect.  

Second, the GOP has been dead as Dillinger (look it up) in Chicago since forever.  The closest any Republican has come to the Fifth floor (look it up) was when when Harold Washington won the Democratic party's nomination  in 1983 and ethic white voters and 29 ethnic white Democratic alderman had a huge and openly racist freakout and fled in panic to a Republican cipher named Bernie Epton, whose campaign motto was "Epton: Before It's Too Late!"

In fact, The Professional Left did a whole, No Fair Remembering Stuff podcast about it here.   

Surprised the Bulwarkians didn't listen to it before opening their gobs.

Longwell: ...is it possible Chicago elects a Republican mayor in this environment? And I'm not positive that's the case.

Tim Miller:  Yeah, see if Brandon Johnson is the one you were talking about that was running to, I guess, her left.  And Vallas... is a... is not a Republican.  The guy won the most.  He's a Democrat, but I think...

Longwell: Oh he is?

Yes.  Yes he is.

Miller: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Longwell: I kept seeing people refer to him as a Conservative.  They must mean a Conservative Democrat.

Caution:  Deep political thinkers at work.

Miller: Yeah, this is the very online Libs, y'know, trying to smear him.  

Golly, recently-former Republican Tim Miller, why would you think accurately referring to Paul Vallas as a "Conservative Democrat" constitutes a "smear"?

Miller: No, um, he ran for governor as a Democrat, uh, he ran for lieutenant governor as a a Democrat.  So no, very, uh, very much a Democrat but, uh... look, I do think that the messaging about unions coming from him is maybe why he's sorta see this, oh if you...you wanna criticize the teacher's union or whatever then you're a Republican.  And so, uh, no, he...uh, ran as a Democrat back in 2002.  So it's been 20 years at lest he's been a Democrat...  

Then comes a life-preserver, as Miller swiftly if awkwardly pivots away from Mr. Longwell's embarrassing political ignorance, to a word salad of internet and tribal bubbles and such.

Miller: But look, I... I think that sometimes it's hard to tell, like in this... in this Surround-Sound information environment, like, what is real.  Like what is just... in my feeds.  Right?  Like, what is being blown out of proportion.  And I think that that breeds an idea a lot of times of people who are in one... their tribal bubble of being, like, no, this is bullshit. Right? Like, crime isn't really that bad.  

Miller then disappears into a cloud of words about Oakland, California, where he actually lives, to talk about politics there.  

And thus we leave "Republican" Paul Vallas and the Chicago election behind.

So how is it that a savvy political professional like Ms. Longwell knows nothing, and Tim Miller knows next to nothing, about the political and civil history of third largest city in the United States?  The home town of Barack Obama and practically the second home to Bill Clinton during his administration?  The engine that drives the entire midwest, including our big, blue state in a sea of red?  Y'know, the Land of Lincoln?  Where the first Republican president is buried?  Where we are currently being governed by the most popular Democratic governor in America?  

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd guess it's because Chicago isn't D.C. or NYC or L.A., and Illinois isn't California or Florida or New York.  And coastal elites like Miller and Longwell have no real interest in or understanding of those of us here in flyover country.

For relief from these recently-former Republicans projecting their talking points onto my former hometown, let us now turn to that other, weekly Bulwark podcast where...

...oh fuck my life.  

Never mind.  

Unless you're hungry to hear about how Paul Vallas represents the sort of Sensible Centrism to which all Democrats should aspire.  

Or how Brandon Johnson is a "perfect caricature" of crazy, out-of-touch Liberals.  

Or how this election will be a test for national Democrats to see if Sensible Moderates can wrest control of the party away from those crazy, out-of-touch Liberals.  

Or if it's been too long since you've heard a Conservative sneeringly resurrect the term "limousine Liberal".

If that's the content you're looking for...leave here immediately and never return.

'cause I don’t want nobody nobody sent. (Look it up)

I Am The Liberal Media

Dispatches From That Other America

If you look at a political map of Illinois and see blue -- see a Democratic governor, a Democratic supermajority in the state legislature and an unbroken string of Democratic mayors of Chicago going back nearly a century -- what you are seeing is factually true and misses an important point.  

Illinois is ineed a bastion of blue in an ocean of red because of Chicago, a few suburbs and the areas around several large universities.  I'm glad I live here and raised my family here.  But let your eyes travel down I55 or I57 and before too long you're in downstate Illinois, which is a whole other country.  

Trump country.

When I worked for the City of Chicago, we had a lot of interactions with downstate because that's where the state capitol is and that's the portal through which flowed all federal funds.  And we had our jokes.  One I remember (which I'm sure was borrowed from Sex and the City or somesuch) was that a trip to Springfield was like time traveling to a land where it was always 1978:  the racial hierarchy was genteel but right out in the open and strictly enforced, every jukebox offered a wide selection of  Charlie Daniels, The Allman Brothers or Exile, and everybody smoked.  

It wasn't that Springfieldians were unaware of the march of time or the amenities that modernity.  For example, our Springfield-based auditors always made sure to schedule our audits in late November so they could spend some extra time in Chicago taking in the sights, seeing some shows and doing their Christmas shopping.   But while in Chicago -- a land of 100 cuisines and 10,000 restaurants -- they always insisted on eating at fucking Steak 'n Shake.  Or Applebees, if they were feeling fancy.  

Also, I'm personally aware of at least one, multi-million dollar failed bid-rigging scheme in which the specs for the new software system were written so baroquely that, if they hadn't screwed it all up and been forced to start over, would have made it was impossible for any software company to qualify except the Springfield-based company at which they were all planning to work after they retired.

You see, they're actually acutely aware of the march of time and modernity.  They simply rejected it, except as a contaminated culture which they were forced, from time to time, to tolerate, and on which their livelihoods depended.  And they hate that.  

Paradoxically, this is exactly why our coastal elite media are always caught so back-footed whenever the GOP does something that doesn't surprise we-who-live-among-them in the least.  Because despite the 1,000 diner sojourns the coastal elites have made to the wilds of continental interior to speak with Trump voters in their natural habitats, they still don't understand on a very basic level how the brains of rank-and-file Republicans are wired.  How deep the resentment goes.  How warped and furious their opinions have gotten after steeping in Hate Radio and Fox News every day for 30 years.  

Beltway insiders gather 'round the dying embers of the establishment media to tell each other stories of "moderate Republicans" and "independents" the same way conquistadors talked themselves into believing in El Dorado and the Fountain of Youth.   They must be out there somewhere.   They must be.   And by god and Arthur Gregg Sulzberger, we're gonna keep dispatching expeditions into the savage interior until we find them.

Which is why every time another Republican atrocity shambles out of the darkness and crashes their campfire TED talk, they're caught unawares and freak out.

Meanwhile, as Very Serious Media Persons continue strip-mining mighty mountains of Republican shit in search of imaginary moderate Republican ponies, out here in the real world, this is what local Republican parties are up to.  From the State Journal-Register (with emphasis added):

Former Trump advisor to headline Sangamon County's GOP Lincoln Day dinner

Kellyanne Conway, an advisor of former President Donald Trump, will be the keynote speaker of the Sangamon County Republican Party’s annual Lincoln Day dinner.

Sangamon County GOP chair Dianne Barghouti Hartwick said the dinner, scheduled for 6 p.m. on May 3, has been a fundraiser for the party dating back more than 100 years. Tickets begin at $125 per person for the dinner with photo opportunities available for $50 each.

She first saw Conway speak in Peoria and was impressed by what she heard describing Conway as "very dynamic and very smart."

"We go with who we think will be interesting in our county and a few other counties," Hartwick said Tuesday.

Asked about Conway's ties to Trump, now embattled with legal charges tied to the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection, Hartwick reiterated that the selection was not regarding the former president. Trump carried Sangamon County in 2020 despite losing Illinois and the overall election.

Instead, that Peoria speech delivered by Conway resonated with Hartwick.

"She was all about the positive things of America and working towards other positive things," she said.

...

Conservative commentator Charlie Kirk was the 2022 Lincoln Day dinner speaker.

Yes kiddies, last year the Sangamon County Republican Party celebrated the legacy of Abraham Lincoln by paying Charlie Fucking Kirk $30,000 plus expenses to come to town and spin up the crazies.  I wrote all about it here:

... 

Here, like everywhere else, the party is an admix of bigots, imbeciles, fundamentalists, ammosexuals, Conservative family dynasties,  whiny Libertarians, and assorted other weirdos and perverts.  Here, like everywhere else, behind every wreck-the-gummint initiative and think tank, and every wannabe Trump candidate for higher office you will find a crackpot neofascist billionaire financiers willing to pour staggering amounts of money into The Cause.   However unlike elsewhere the antics of our Looney Party don't leach into the nation headlines because at the moment, here in the Land of Lincoln, Republicans are outnumbered and largely impotent. 

And while you might think that living in a state where the government actually tries to help its citizens would have a leavening effect, you would be wrong.  Because these days all politics are no longer local.  They're national.  And our local Republicans seethe with all the venomous prejudices and resentments that drive the national party.  Richard Irvin -- a "More Law-n-Order Than Thou" guy running in the Republicans gubernatorial primary -- is being attack-ad bombed by his opponents because he once said something positive about Black Lives Matter.  Between screeching that the  Squad's Socialist Green New Dead is "killing us at the gas pump" and mocking Joe Biden as mentally out to lunch, area nutjob Mary Miller repeats that she is "the Trump-endorsed candidate" for IL15 at every opportunity.  And all of them bend the knee to the Big Lie by emphasizing their unstinting support for "election integrity".  

And it's only going to get worse.

And before Chuckles Kirk it was Candace Owens.  

And hey, guess what?  I wrote all about that too.

To understand the real significance of this above-the-fold headline story in todays State Journal-Register you really have to read it from back-to-front.  Because this is not just about why this particular group of Republican mopes and dregs have chosen to pay an unhinged Hitler-sympathizer and batshit conspiracy PEZ-dispenser like Candace Owens to keynote their 117th annual Lincoln Day Dinner.

This is about the fact that the entire Republican party is utterly (to borrow a phrase from the late Hunter Thompson) decadent and depraved all the way down to the local level, and how the cowardice and ruthless opportunism that is hardwired into the party means there is no longer any way out of the doom-loop they have locked themselves into. 

And before that it was Jason Chaffetz, one-time congressperson and current Fox News troll who now lives in Donald Trump's underwear drawer, and now blocks the little blue light on Trump's phone now that the FBO has taken away the classified file folder he used to use.

The year before that it was Fox News in-house train-wreck/barfly,  Jeanine Pirro.

The year before that wingnut-network-job-hopper and H.R. Haldeman stunt-double, Corey Lewandowski.

The year before that, in 2016, it was none other than Fox News prime-time Gorgon and Keith Olbermann's former girlfriend, Laura Ingraham.

 

And on and on and on.

[Note to the Sangamon County Republican Party: Just get it over with once and for all and rename the damn thing "Jefferson David Appreciation Day".]

If you want to hear wealthy professional opinion havers with decades of bullshit under their belts feign shock that the Republican Party suddenly and inexplicably went mad, or that somehow the Democrats are equally toxic, or that maybe Liberal are somehow to blame for the sorry state of the GOP...or you're in the market for aspirational fairy tales about what the GOP once was back in the Good Old Days and what it shall be again in the Great Days to Come the Beltway media has a dozen different flavors of comforting lies and liars to choose from.

But if you want grim, honest and depressingly accurate insights into what the Republican Party has become, how it got there and where it's going, go ask a Liberal who has been living among actual Republicans out here in the middle of Middle America, and who has been thinking about and writing about politics and the media for decades.

I Am The Liberal Media

Ep 689 No Fair Remembering Stuff Podcast: Healthcare -- It's a Big Fucking Deal, Part 1

"This is a Big Fucking deal!"  -- Vice President Joe Biden to Joe Biden to President Barack Obama 

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