How horny is the political media for any "Democrats in Disarray" story? On the venerable Blue-Balls scale of 1-to-10 they're now clocking in at around a 12. Which is how the usual rough-and-tumble of Illinois politics is magically transformed into a Big Story about splitting, division and splintering, so mama, break the fainting couch out of storage and fetch the spirit of hartshorn!
The New York Times also knows a free lunch when they see it:
Will Another Black Woman Join the Senate? This Messy Primary Is Set to Decide.
Two Black female candidates may split Democratic primary voters in Illinois, and anger is growing at well-funded efforts to widen the divide.
Messy. Split. Divide. Better make that two doses of hartshorn!
Election day is Tuesday, March 17, so this will all be over in three days.
And, if you dig down a few paragraphs you find...
Unlike other major Democratic primaries for Senate this year, the contest is not so much a test of the party’s ideological or messaging direction — the three candidates are broadly similar on policy and style — as it is a fight over identity and who deserves a Senate seat.
But that's not much of a lede, is it? So much better to frame it as a bar fight that'll be settled on St. Patrick's day in Chicago.
But now riddle me this: if Politico and the Times really wanted a story of rancor and disarray in Illinois primary politics, why not focus on the Republican party? After all, instead of running three, well-known political professionals, the Illinois GOP senate primary is a freak show with Six!Count 'Em!Six! weirdos and nobodies all competing to see who will get hog-slaughtered in the general election in November. Which is why bigger name Illinois Republicans like Mike Bost and Darin "Disgrace to his Family Name" LaHood took a big ol' pass at running for that office this year.
Or how about the Illinois gubernatorial primary, where Four!Count 'Em!Four! goofballs are competing feverishly to see who gets to lose to JB Pritzker in the Fall?
See what I did there? Answering my own question? Because in Illinois it is a foregone conclusion that, barring a tectonic event involving pods from space and zombies, whoever wins the Illinois Democratic senate primary will, along with Pritzker, win at a walk in the general election.
Which, from a policy and governance, perspective, is obviously great news. But which, from a "fun news stories" perspective, has deprived Politico readers of the opportunity to learn about characters like perennial Illinois office-seeker, Jimmy Lee Tillman II, who is the son of longtime (now retired) Illinois alderwoman, Dorothy Tillman, and who runs under the name "Dr. Jimmy Lee Tillman II" although no one can tell you what exactly he is a doctor of.
According to his campaign website, Dr. Jimmy Lee Tillman II would like you to know that "Our state stands at a crossroads", that "Illinois is the battlefield and Chicago is the frontline."
I am Dr. Jimmy Lee Tillman II from Chicago—leading the MAGA Cavalry as the only GOP candidate who can win Chicago and has the strong name recognition statewide that Republicans need to win in Illinois. I'm also the only GOP candidate that the Democrat machine is afraid to face. While other candidates have ideas, I have a proven record of accomplishments.
As a bestselling author, historian, Heritage Foundation Academy Fellow, and President of the Martin Luther King Republicans,
And so forth.
Then there is Jeannie Evans, a partially self-funded attorney, would like you to know that she is "Unstoppable. Innovative. Illinois." and appears to think that it's 1994. As a " a mother, wife, and winning attorney" and "Not a Politician", once she's in the U.S. Senate, she promises to:
...bring that same unstoppable energy to build Illinois’ future: reducing taxes and costs, supporting innovation and education, securing safe communities, and creating opportunities for every family and business. The future doesn’t wait. Let’s build it.
Not a word about MAGA, America First or Donald Trump is to be found anywhere in her campaign website.
And let's not forget, Pamela Denise Long -- occupational therapist and political newcomer -- who has also heard the Siren's Song of the Senate.
We are in a fight for the soul of our nation. Cancel culture is off the rails. Gender ideology has gone too far. Mass immigration has flooded our neighborhoods and job sites.
I never wanted to be a politician. I was convinced to run for office after Illinoisans tapped me to help stop the flood of illegal immigrants into Chicago. Unlike the powers that be, I've spent the last four years and hundreds of hours listening to a diverse array of Americans express their needs and concerns. I see the Black American voting bloc has finally begun to divorce the Democratic Party. At the same time, Americans of all stripes are sick of the divisive rhetoric that gets politicians elected but keeps neighbors apart.
Her campaign website features several embedded YouTube videos of her talking about things like the horrors of DEI and ending birthright citizenship, with a giant picture of Donald Trump rampant on an American flag as her background.
Casey Chlebek is also running for U.S. Senate on a platform of cutting practically every form of taxation you can think of. That's his "MAGNA" plan: Making America the Greatest Nation Again.
Casey is the former President of the Polish American Congress (Illinois Division) and his site features all the usual MAGA yadda yadda about open borders, CRT, and Trump being awesome. And, damn it, he is not a politician. But I think the real story here is found in the second line of his campaign resume.
Former Commodore of the Chicago Yachting Association and the Joseph Conrad Yacht Club.
Come on! If you write about politics and you can't take yachts, "Commodore Casey" and tax cuts and run all the way down field with it, then get outta the business kid.
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