No one could have predicted that once the Rapture didn't come the Black Usurper in the White House didn't toss the keys to the country to Ted Cruz and scurry back to Kenya, the Judean People's Tea Party would end up in a slap fight with the People's Tea Party of Judea:
Tea Party Eats Their Own
New GOP primary challengers are looking to serve their Tea Party challengers a scolding hot cuppa change. Their goal? To oppose!
They arrived in January of 2011, unfamiliar with the ways of Washington, and promising never to adapt. The Republican freshman of the 112th Congress had helped take back the House, riding a Tea Party-infused, throw-the-bums-out wave of conservative disgust with career politicians.
But after three years in office and an election season looming, a number of GOP Congressmen find themselves facing scrappy challengers who say that they are now the ones with a serious case of Potomac Fever.
“I didn’t expect Renee to go this route,” said Frank Roche, a conservative Internet talk show host, who is challenging Renee Ellmers in North Carolina’s Second Congressional District. “I am sad she did. Unfortunately she has chosen to go along with the establishment in Washington D. C.”
Ellmers was a nurse and a Tea Party favorite when she emerged out of a crowded field in 2010, and went on to eke out a win against the Democratic incumbent. Then, she harped on the building of the so-called Ground Zero Mosque in New York in her campaign speeches, compared President Obama to Louis XIV and said that his administration is establishing a “socialistic form of government.”
Even in 2012, Roche counted himself as a supporter. But her backing of immigration reform convinced Roche to throw his own hat into the ring.
“I think that is a danger to our country.”
Plus, Roche added, since running as an outsider in 2010, Ellmers has cozied up to leadership.
That was a complaint heard again and again, from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan to Florida’s Gulf Coast to points in between: The one-time Outsiders had gone inside, and for evidence just look to a House Republican leadership that was embracing the one-time radicals.
...
First, as every reader of this blog knows, (say it with me now) There. Is. No. Tea. Party.
There has never been anything but the same, old, lumpen, pig-ignorant and often-bigoted Republican base. The same orc army that was dreamed up and assembled by Team Nixon, perfected by Team Reagan and behind whose vanguard every Republican victory has come for the last 40 years. The same infinitely reprogrammable Golem that made Rush Limbaugh and his imitators multi-millionaires, launched an entire, multi-billion dollar propaganda network, and turned Christianity into a Libertarian club for beating the shit out of the poor, the weak, the lame, the halt, dispossessed, the outsider, the justice-seekers and the peace-makers.
Most newly minted “independents” seem to be little more than Republicans who are fleeing the scene of their crime, but at the same time still desperately want believe in the inerrant wisdom of Rush Limbaugh. They are completely incapable of facing the horrifying reality that that they have gotten every single major political opinion and decision of their adult lives completely wrong, so instead they double-down on their hatred of women and/or gays and/or brown people and/or Liberals, and blame them for the miserable fuckpit their leaders and their policies have made of their live and futures.
Like German soldiers after the fall of Berlin, they have stopped running away from the catastrophe they created only long enough to burn their uniforms.
But they fool no one.
Except, apparently, David Fucking Brooks.
To achieve electoral success, the Conservative Brain Caste bred a generation of adherents who are so completely unmoored from reality that the mere presence of facts that run contrary to the Wingnut Slogan of the Day automatically triggers a supercharged fight-or-flight reflex. So congratulations Republicans -- you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams!
Of course, once you gave up on actual governing and turned your Zombie Army of Wingnut Purity loose to wreck the country in the name of Rush Limbaugh's idea of ideological conformity, it was only a matter of time before they would begin picnicking on each other. Or, as one low-born, bootless blabbermouth once said about another Purity Cult:
The main Islamist group in Algeria, the GIA, ended up being led by a Mr. Zouabri, a chicken farmer, who killed everyone who disagreed with him. He issued a final communiqué, declaring that the whole of Algerian society should be killed, with the exception of his tiny remaining band of Islamists. They were the only ones who understood the truth.
The liars, frauds, grifters, pundits and various other Conservative bottom-feeders who, when called upon to put their asses on the line for the catastrophically failed foreign adventure which they so stridently promoted and ferociously defended, said with in a loud and clear voice,
"Fuck no. My chickenhawk Conservative ass is far too busy turning a buck, pimping a book or boosting circulation off of this clusterfuck. Let someone poorer and browner shovel shit and dodge bullets in 120 degree heat, 10,000 miles away from hearth and home.
"Let someone else pick up the tab and lose a leg or an arm or a life or a son or a wife or a father for my blood-drunk Neocon fantasies.
Capitalism, bitches!
"USA!USA!"
Perhaps a special day on the calendar set aside to remember the ghouls who lied us
“In the weeks prior to the war to liberate Afghanistan, a good friend of mine would ask me almost every day, “Why aren’t we killing people yet?” And I never had a good answer for him. Because one of the most important and vital things the United States could do after 9/11 was to kill people. Call it a “forceful response,” “decisive action” — whatever. Those are all nice euphemisms for killing people. And the world is a better place because America saw the necessity of putting steel beneath the velvet of those euphemisms.”
I think that war with Iraq is necessary to save lives in the long run. I think that those who are opposed to toppling Saddam are risking American (and Arab and Israeli) lives too.
Soldiers will die in any war, that’s why they call it war.
As for why my sorry a** isn’t in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give — I’m 35 years old, my family couldn’t afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my a** is, er, sorry, are a few — ever seem to suffice.
– Jonah Goldberg
And how have meatsticks like Jonah the Fantastic paid for their many, many, many public hypocrisies, lies and abject failures?
Silly rabbit. In Wingnut Welfare Land, you don't pay for your colossal fuckups.
Jonah Goldberg—who has a career of any kind solely because his mother told Linda Tripp to secretly tape conversations with a lady who gave the president a blow job, and who is generally considered to be one of the most intellectually lazy pundits of any political persuasion of all time—writes about The Simpsons for The National Review Online. His last book, Liberal Fascism, was based entirely on the fact that someone told the 40-year-old Goldberg that "Nazi" stood for "National Socialist" and then he basically stopped listening. It was a number one New York Times best-seller, because a couple thousand people will buy anything that says mean things about liberals and because the conservative publishing industry buys its own product in mass quantities in order to distribute via World Net Daily donation gifts and "book clubs." ...
Today we set the I'm feeling lazy and discouraged and David Fucking Brooks has plopped another godawful, "Both Sides are Wrong but Righteous Values Will Save Us" bag 'o dung on the Op Ed page of the NYT that I can't look at today without feeling like throwing up everything I've eaten since 6th grade Wayback Machine to an April 2005 post in which a little-known blogger predicts the rise of the Tea Party...
...in children's parable form.
"... So she got on the phone with her very good friend Karl Rove and with his help organized carpools to the polls, and get-out-the-vote drives, anti-gay marriage amendments and smear campaigns. For Jesus.
And Little Red State Fundy delivered the margin of victory and was featured in many, many magazines: without Little Red State Fundy, the Republican Party could never, ever, ever win anything.