As you probably already know, Donald Trump has turned the USS Abraham Lincoln into a floating gulag for any sailor unlucky enough to be stationed there:
Trump says record USS Lincoln deployment 'not nearly long enough'
President Donald Trump reacted to reports of poor conditions on the USS Abraham Lincoln on Friday, claiming that families of service members are "not" concerned and saying that the vessel hasn't been deployed for "nearly long enough."
The president also confirmed that a new aircraft carrier is headed to the Middle East to replace it during a very brief gaggle with reporters on the tarmac at Joint Base Andrews Friday afternoon.
The aircraft carrier's movements come amid reports of mental health and supply issues aboard the USS Lincoln, whose long deployment to the Middle East in support of the Iran war includes a record-setting time at sea of more than 200 days. Navy leaders, including the Navy's acting Secretary Hung Cao, last week held a heated town hall for families of the USS Lincoln who had raised concerns about the conditions on the ship.
Tapper: What is your husband saying about conditions on the ship? Wife of Service Member Aboard USS Lincoln: My husband is appalled at the conditions on this ship. This is not his first deployment. And he is saying that it is the worst deployment that he's ever been on. His shipmates say the same.
— MeidasTouch (@meidastouch.com) August 14, 2026 at 8:31 PM
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This should come as no surprise, as Donald Trump has never given a shit about the United States military except as a toy for him to play with. Trump also thinks anyone willing to risk their life for their country is a "sucker" and a "loser".
John Kelly confirms Trump privately disparaged U.S. service members and veterans
Trump called fallen soldiers "suckers” and "losers" during his presidency, according to a 2020 report in The Atlantic.
But do you remember the fate of the USS Abraham Lincoln during the last Republican administration that lied us into a disastrous war in the Middle East and then catastrophically botched it?
It was in all the papers.
That would be Bush's infamous "Mission Accomplished" speech, delivered on May 1, 2003.
And that, just two days before that speech, the cover story of the now-defunct Weekly Standard featured David Brooks declaring that The War Was Over!
Yay!
The Good Guys had triumphed! Neoconservatism had been vindicated. And it was time for the resistance to crawl under a nearby porch and quietly die, or dry up and blow away or dissolve into laughably delusional absurdism.
Pieces of Mr. Brooks' radioactively reckless and vindictive claptrap can be found here.
As you literati know, maritime myth and literature are full of stories about ships "sailing under a doom." The story of Jonah from the Bible. The tale of the Mary Celeste. The legend of the Flying Dutchman. Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Poe's MS. Found in a Bottle. Melville's Moby Dick. And so on.
Now I'm not saying that the USS Abraham Lincoln is cursed. I am saying that, if it is cursed, we definitely know why. And that, out of an abundance of caution, it wouldn't hurt to burn some sage, flick a little holy water around, ring some church bells, and never, ever put another Republican in the White House.
