If you are unfamiliar with his work, Jonah "Doughy Pantload" is a cruel sloven who is the Editor-at-Large of NRO, an LA Times Columnist, a USA Today columnist, the author of Liberal Fascism, and a visiting fellow American Enterprise Institute who makes his very fine living selling his signature brand of stone soup concocted out of mossy cultural cliches, beer jokes and reflexive Liberal hatred.
If you are on the political Left, you may know him as the fake Pulitzer Prize nominee who told hurricane Katrina victims that their best hope was to "Hoard weapons, grow gills and learn to communicate with serpents".
Or as one of America's most tireless Iraq War Pimps:
Or as the goon who called the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau “a hate crime against the Constitution”.
Or the author of "Liberal Fascism"
Or one of the many, many Conservatives who have blocked your humble scrivener for talking back.
If, on the other hand, you are on the Elite Political Right like, say, David Brooks, you are probably so deep in your ideological cups that through your bleary eyes Pantload still looks like the vanguard of a Glorious Conservative Renaissance that is somehow always juuuust around the corner. (From "David Brooks: ...And a Doughy Pantload Shall Lead Them")
...So imagine my complete lack of surprise when I opened The New York Times this morning and...A Renaissance on the RightBy David BrooksWhat’s bad for the gavel is good for the pen. The Republican Party is in the midst of a cataclysmic transformation. But all the political turmoil is creating a burst of intellectual creativity on the right...And who shall lead this Imaginary Conservative Renaissance Which Is Definitely Just Around The Corner?A bunch of toddlers you have never heard of, and...(emphasis added)...Other conservatives are rising to defend that order, including National Review’s Jonah Goldberg, who later this month comes out with his epic and debate-shifting book, “Suicide of the West.”Yes, the field marshall of Mr. Brooks' New Conservative revolution is the same shitbag who wrote "Liberal Fascism"...
Yes, those quotes were from David Fucking Brooks almost exactly two years ago today.
And how exactly was Pantload supposed to supercharge the Right and summon it back to glory?
By marching into battle under David Brooks' "Both Sides Do It" banner!
Goldberg is right to fight tribalism on the left and the right...But now all of that pissing and posturing that has been set aside in a mad scramble for a seat on the mighty lifeboat the Elite Right has built for itself -- the S.S. It Wasn't Our Fault.
And lumbering his way straight up the gangplank we find Doughy Pantload himself, pretending that somehow his righteous Conservative Movement was doing just fine until five minutes ago when it turned suddenly and inexplicably into a racist deathcult shitpile.
So. Trump said "When somebody is the president of the United States, the authority is total."— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) April 13, 2020
This is antithetical to everything conservatives have argued for 50 years. 1/
Burn the lifeboats, kids.And if any conservative -- including Mike Pence who's dancing as I type this -- says POTUS has anything like those powers they are violating vast swaths of what conservatives claimed to believe before Trump became president. 4/— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) April 13, 2020
Burn 'em all.