Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Doughy Pantload Makes His Bid for a Stateroom on the S.S. It Wasn't Our Fault

Panstload_Speaks

If you are unfamiliar with his work, Jonah "Doughy Pantload" is a cruel sloven who is the Editor-at-Large of NRO, an LA Times Columnist, a USA Today columnist, the author of Liberal Fascism, and a visiting fellow American Enterprise Institute who makes his very fine living selling his signature brand of stone soup concocted out of mossy cultural cliches, beer jokes and reflexive Liberal hatred.

If you are on the political Left, you may know him as the fake Pulitzer Prize nominee who told hurricane Katrina victims that their best hope was to "Hoard weapons, grow gills and learn to communicate with serpents".

Or as one of America's most tireless Iraq War Pimps:


Or as the goon who called the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau “a hate crime against the Constitution”.

Or the author of "Liberal Fascism"


Or one of the many, many Conservatives who have blocked your humble scrivener for talking back.

If, on the other hand, you are on the Elite Political Right like, say, David Brooks, you are probably so deep in your ideological cups that through your bleary eyes Pantload  still looks like the vanguard of a Glorious Conservative Renaissance that is somehow always juuuust around the corner.  (From "David Brooks: ...And a Doughy Pantload Shall Lead Them")

...So imagine my complete lack of surprise when I opened The New York Times this morning and...
A Renaissance on the Right 
By David Brooks

What’s bad for the gavel is good for the pen. The Republican Party is in the midst of a cataclysmic transformation. But all the political turmoil is creating a burst of intellectual creativity on the right...
And who shall lead this  Imaginary Conservative Renaissance Which Is Definitely Just Around The Corner?

A bunch of toddlers you have never heard of, and...(emphasis added)
...Other conservatives are rising to defend that order, including National Review’s Jonah Goldberg, who later this month comes out with his epic and debate-shifting book, “Suicide of the West.”
Yes, the field marshall of Mr. Brooks' New Conservative revolution is the same shitbag who wrote "Liberal Fascism"...
++++


Yes, those quotes were from David Fucking Brooks almost exactly two years ago today.

And how exactly was Pantload supposed to supercharge the Right and summon it back to glory?

By marching into battle under David Brooks' "Both Sides Do It" banner!
Goldberg is right to fight tribalism on the left and the right...
But now all of that pissing and posturing that has been set aside in a mad scramble for a seat on the mighty lifeboat the Elite Right has built for itself -- the S.S. It Wasn't Our Fault.

And lumbering his way straight up the gangplank we find Doughy Pantload himself, pretending that somehow his righteous Conservative Movement was doing just fine until five minutes ago when it turned suddenly and inexplicably into a racist deathcult shitpile.

Burn the lifeboats, kids.

Burn 'em all.






9 comments:

Lawrence said...

I see a glimmer of hope in the WI results. Eight months to go.

Green Eagle said...

All you need to know about Jonah Goldberg: "Suicide of the West" is a reference to the book "Decline of the West," which was one of the most influential works on Hitler and the Nazis.

eddie blake said...

post needs some editing.

Mr XD said...

Profound and poetic ~ "a racist deathcult shitpile". Thanx for all you do.

rapier said...

And as I never tire of repeating; one wonders how different Jonah's life would have been if instead of an amateur, Bill Clinton would have picked a professional felatrix like Jonha's mother Lucianne.

Robt said...

You know who Jonah's Mother was and her gift to humanity.

His mother called in a marker to the GOP to help find a job for her deadbeat son.

Whallaah!!! Heritage Foundation wordsmith school for wayward mentally ill.

Heritage made a promoting debut of Jonah's first great writings in an article Jonah brilliantly explains, "if only the arrogant North purchased all the slaves from the South to set them free. No Civil War would have taken place".
Like the great thinking of animal lovers buying all the elephant ivory that the poachers kill elephants for their tusks will stop? It will stop because Elephant lovers are buying the ivory?.


Jonah is an example of failing upward with the help of the connected. Like the inheritance baby in the white house who worked so hard pulling on his embryo boot straps to be born into wealth and privilege..
An aristocratic Nepotism that gets in the way of the rest of Americans and somehow cannot rid ourselves of it.
Honah's works (like others as David Brooks) are examples of powers that be who say they can sell anything but not to everyone. I can sell rat poisn as a cure for the flu. At least for a while until there are no one left alive that are that gullible or someone set them straight somehow.

Jonah's works that I have been exposed to are writings to nowhere. An indulgent into confusing mole tunnels that lead to a surface exit where a trap has been set to rid the yard of the mole.

Mike R said...

Since when have conservatives been bashful about claiming broad and sweeping powers for the presidency, when they control it of course. Did D.P. forget about the theory of the unitary executive? These people are simply liars and have no place in polite society.

Batocchio said...

What a turd. Most of the supposed Never Trumpers support the same policies; they just dislike Trump spoiling the brand and saying the quiet bigoted and plutocratic stuff out loud.

Jonah Goldberg has always been a lickspittle. For example, he and Glenn Reynolds decried the actions shown in the Abu Graib photos, but then changed their tune when it became clear the Bush administration was responsible. (Warning of Andrew Sullivan link in Scott Horton's piece, but this is one of the few subjects on which Sullivan's pretty good):

https://harpers.org/2008/12/what-motivates-the-torture-enablers/

Unknown said...


APR
14
Doughy Pantload Makes His Bid for a Stateroom on the S.S. It Wasn't Our Fault
Panstload_Speaks

If you are unfamiliar with his work, Jonah "Doughy Pantload" is a cruel sloven who is the Editor-at-Large of NRO, an LA Times Columnist, a USA Today columnist, the author of Liberal Fascism, and a visiting fellow American Enterprise Institute who makes his very fine living selling his signature brand of stone soup concocted out of mossy cultural cliches, beer jokes and reflexive Liberal hatred.

If you are on the political Left, you may know him as the fake Pulitzer Prize nominee who told hurricane Katrina victims that their best hope was to "Hoard weapons, grow gills and learn to communicate with serpents".

Or as one of America's most tireless Iraq War Pimps:



Or as the goon who called the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau “a hate crime against the Constitution”.

Or the author of "Liberal Fascism"



Or one of the many, many Conservatives who have blocked your humble scrivener for talking back.

If, on the other hand, you are on the Elite Political Right like, say, David Brooks, you are probably so deep in your ideological cups that through your bleary eyes Pantload still looks like the vanguard of a Glorious Conservative Renaissance that is somehow always juuuust around the corner. (From "David Brooks: ...And a Doughy Pantload Shall Lead Them")

...So imagine my complete lack of surprise when I opened The New York Times this morning and...
A Renaissance on the Right
By David Brooks

What’s bad for the gavel is good for the pen. The Republican Party is in the midst of a cataclysmic transformation. But all the political turmoil is creating a burst of intellectual creativity on the right...
And who shall lead this Imaginary Conservative Renaissance Which Is Definitely Just Around The Corner?

A bunch of toddlers you have never heard of, and...(emphasis added)
...Other conservatives are rising to defend that order, including National Review’s Jonah Goldberg, who later this month comes out with his epic and debate-shifting book, “Suicide of the West.”
Yes, the field marshall of Mr. Brooks' New Conservative revolution is the same shitbag who wrote "Liberal Fascism"...
++++


Yes, those quotes were from David Fucking Brooks almost exactly two years ago today.

And how exactly was Pantload supposed to supercharge the Right and summon it back to glory?

By marching into battle under David Brooks' "Both Sides Do It" banner!
Goldberg is right to fight tribalism on the left and the right...
But now all of that pissing and posturing that has been set aside in a mad scramble for a seat on the mighty lifeboat the Elite Right has built for itself -- the S.S. It Wasn't Our Fault.

And lumbering his way straight up the gangplank we find Doughy Pantload himself, pretending that somehow his righteous Conservative Movement was doing just fine until five minutes ago when it turned suddenly and inexplicably into a racist deathcult shitpile.


Jonah Goldberg

@JonahDispatch
So. Trump said "When somebody is the president of the United States, the authority is total."

This is antithetical to everything conservatives have argued for 50 years. They only believed that, when the Democrats held the White House.

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