Friday, October 31, 2008

This Not Lieberman!


Where Lieberman?! (Click any pic for larger.)



Stitched together

from the reanimated scraps of dead campaigns.

Given a sociopath's

brain.


They still needed to make the Monster

a running mate.


One that would look good in

Nieman Marcus' priciest drapes.


Happy Halloween to one and all from castle driftglass.


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Thursday, October 30, 2008

I For One Am Sick And Tired


Of doling out my hard-earned tax dollars to the lazy, sticky-fingered losers of the People's Republic of Jefferson Davis.

(From this site, with a hearty h/t to Jen)


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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

St. John? Here?


(sigh) So losing to the scary black guy was all a dream...

No, Senator Graham, but I think I understand the confusion.

From inside the Straight Talk Express, if you squint real hard, the future still looks somewhat

KC & The Sunshine Band


Whereas outside the bus, it sure looks like you're strapped to McCrater codpiece-fashion as he plummets towards the GOP like the

KT Boundary Extinction Event Asteroid.

Understanding the Right #3


Omertà.

A rule or code that prohibits speaking or divulging information about certain activities, especially the activities of a criminal organization.

For those who have only lately found a seat at the American political circus, let me assure you that this is nothing new:

GOP Draws Internal Battle Lines Around Sarah Palin
Jason Linkins
October 27, 2008 04:19 PM

With the GOP looking more and more set to fracture as the possibility of electoral defeat looms, the cannibals' knives are out. Consider this quote, via Yglesias:

Jim Nuzzo, a White House aide to the first President Bush, dismissed Mrs Palin's critics as "cocktail party conservatives" who "give aid and comfort to the enemy".
He told The Sunday Telegraph: "There's going to be a bloodbath. A lot of people are going to be excommunicated. David Brooks and David Frum and Peggy Noonan are dead people in the Republican Party. The litmus test will be: where did you stand on Palin?"
Hold it now. They're serious about going all in with the Palin loyalty test? Uhm...apparently so! Nuzzo adds:

He said: "Win or lose, there is a ready made conservative candidate waiting in the wings. Sarah Palin is not the new Iain Duncan Smith, she is the new Ronald Reagan."
Yowee. So, for the sake of Sarah Palin -- who many conservatives correctly assessed as the candidate-born-yesterday -- a whole slew of Republicans-in-good-standing are going to be thrown under the bus? That's a serious civil war, or rather, a war betwixt the Serious and the Un-Serious. Keep in mind that Palin's critics are not marginal figures in the conservative movement. We're talking the aforementioned Brooks and Noonan and Frum, and we're adding Christopher Buckley, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Colin Powell, Charles Krauthammer, Matthew Dowd, and for the sake of argument, we'll throw in Chuck Hagel, Andrew Sullivan, and Christopher Hitchens, even though I hesitate to pin any of them to any sort of doctrinaire conservative group.

This is, indeed, a "bloodbath," and for what? A distinctly semi-pro Alaskan governor who's more or less made the charisma-free Tim Pawlenty look like What Could Have Been?
Since the very beginning, the lords and ladies of the Pig People at the top of the Money Party pyramid have recognized one and only one cardinal value.

Loyalty.

Unswerving, dog-obedient loyalty.

It is the only coin of their realm.

Bankrupt an entire country? Shit happens.

Hijack flag and Bible to sleaze your way into power? High fives all around.

Lie America into a disastrous war? Wev.

But publicly show anything less than boot-licking fealty to the Lords of Flag and Bible…


Remember that Oliver North is a traitor, liar and war criminal, but he defended the Don, and was paid off with sweet gigs at the Fox News Plantation.

That G. Gordon Liddy is a thug, convicted felon, hardcore fascist and domestic terrorist who has been well-rewarded and befriended by Party elders and financiers.

That Bush 41 himself did not precipitate out of thin air, but instead stayed more fiercely loyal to Richard Nixon for longer than just about anyone else in the Republican Establishment.
...
After a second unsuccessful bid for the Senate in 1970, Bush served as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations (1971–72) and in 1972 was named chairman of the Republican National Committee by President Richard M. Nixon. He traveled the country for 20 months defending Nixon and the GOP against the widening Watergate scandal, which brought the president close to impeachment. Staunchly loyal almost to the end, Bush urged Nixon to step down on Aug. 7, 1974.

And for his sins?

Envoy to China

Gerald Ford, Nixon's successor, appointed Bush to be Chief of the US Liaison Office in the People's Republic of China. Since the United States at the time maintained official relations with the Republic of China on Taiwan and not the People's Republic of China, the Liaison Office did not have the official status of an embassy and Bush did not formally hold the position of "ambassador", though he unofficially acted as one. The time that he spent in China—14 months—were seen as largely beneficial for US-Chinese relations.

Director of Central Intelligence

In 1976, Ford brought Bush back to Washington to become Director of Central Intelligence. He served in this role for 355 days, from January 30, 1976 to January 20, 1977.
The loyalty litmus test is why GOP Brain Caste has stopped worrying about this election. Instead, they’re making up their “Naughty” and “Nice” lists, sharpening their blades for a Night of the Long Knives, and stacking the deck for the next election. Spinning a tangle of lies around ACORN and building the narrative that 2008 was stolen by dirty Liberals and their scary Negro henchmen.

The irreplaceable Billmon has it all here:

With the prospect of a bone-crushing election defeat staring them full in the face, the diehard rump of the conservative movement is already busy fashioning a narrative to explain the dissolution of its world -- the one that Ronald Reagan built and that George W. Bush (with an assist from Wall Street) has thoroughly trashed.

And the emerging story line appears to be, roughly, that ACORN did it.

Given the underlying proclivities of the modern conservative movement (Sarah Palin division) we should have understood that sooner or later it would come to something as absurd as this. Failed authoritarian movements needs scapegoats the way fecal coliform bacteria need a steady supply of raw sewage, and this one has a lot of failures that need explaining.

The remarkable thing, of course, is the right's effort to make the ACORN boogie man do double duty: responsible not only for the looming "theft" of American democracy (per John McCain) but also for bringing the US and global financial system to its knees (per any number of conservative quacks economists and cranks pundits).

You have to admit: That's a damned impressive revolutionary track record for an obscure group of community organizers operating on a shoestring budget. I mean, who needs the Red Army when you've got ACORN and the Community Reinvestment Act?

It would be easy to dismiss this lunacy as a manifestation of what the social scientist Richard Hofstader called the "paranoid style" in American politics. And some liberals have already made the connection. As far as the grassroots hysterics are concerned(i.e. the sort of people who are obsessed with the kerning and font size on Barack Obama's "alleged" birth certificate) this is no doubt true.

But I think by now it's also very clear that the GOP high commmand -- as far back as the Twin Cities white power rally, if not before -- deliberately adopted the demonization of ACORN/community organizers/the poor as a proxy for the hatred that no longer dares to speak its real name (except at the occasional Sarah Palin rally).

And with the Right’s “Loyalty Uber Alles” centrifuge now kicking in the afterburners, if you think that the last eight years were twisted, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. Because with another Aggrieved White Conservative myth bolted into place, the entire Hatespeech Establishment will be thrown into high gear, ranting to the Pig People 24/7 that Barack Hussein Obama isn’t really the legitimate President.

Which means the 1990s all over again, on Hulk/gamma/radioactive-spider/mutant juice.

You think one government shutdown was fun? Try one a week.

Hell, Newt Gingrich was loudly lobbying for a shut down over oil drilling as recently as two months ago --

Gingrich Threatens Government Shutdown

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich "indicates his party is seriously considering another shutdown threat to force a vote on offshore oil drilling in September," CNN reports.

"The precise maneuvering of a shutdown threat is complicated, but it revolves around the fact that key government spending bills expire when the fiscal year ends September 30 and Congress must vote next month to keep the government operating."

Said Gingrich: "Are [Democrats] really prepared to close the government in order to stop drilling? Because I think the country will find that to be a suicidal strategy."

-- and rather than stuffing a rag in his mouth and packing this vicious, little ratfucker off to internal exile, the wingnuts proudly trot out their Party’s Elder Hatesman every time a network news camera flickers to life.

In the year to come, Monday through Friday expect the Republican Party to filibuster every single bill that comes to a vote that doesn’t funnel tax money to billionaires, after which they'll sprint to the MSM Saturday and Sunday to whine about the “do nothing” Congress and the failed Obama Administration.

While the desperate Shills of Fake Centrism like Cokie Roberts, Tom Friedman, David Broder and David Fucking Brooks run frantically in panicked circles begging Liberals to please, please, pretty please bend over and say “Thank you, Rush, may I have another!”

And why?

Because they sold their souls to the Big Media Store years ago, and know if they don't loyally hit their marks and deliver their Quisling lines, this is what will be waiting for them

when they get home.

Obama. My. Old. Friend.



As Dubya wanders the White House, impotently ordering banks to spend their fucking allowance already,
White House, Treasury press banks to use aid to lend more

WASHINGTON (AFP) — The White House and Treasury pressed banks Tuesday to use the US government's capital injections to boost lending instead of simply hoarding the cash.

"Banks exist to lend money -- that's how they make money," White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said as the Treasury prepared to deliver the first round of infusions of a 250-billion-dollar recapitalization plan.

"So we think that one of the things that we have to do is help recapitalize them so that they have a capital base, so that they are willing to lend money."

Perino said the government cannot force the banks to lend money but pointed out that "the banks are regulated by the Treasury Department ... they have every incentive to move forward and start using this money."

...

And the fractious, undisciplined mavericks of Team McSame make more headlines every day by eating themselves alive:

Top McCain Aides: 'Palin Simply Knew Nothing About National And International Issues'

Nicholas Graham October 28, 2008

The McCain campaign continues to snipe at each other over the handling, and subsequent effect, of Sarah Palin on the campaign trail. According Nicole Wallace, a senior McCain aide who is one of Palin's handlers and helped to orchestrate her initial rollout, there is an 'organized campaign to lay blame' for things at her feet. Robert Draper, however, offers a defense of Wallace, saying she's kept quiet about things that a couple of McCain higher-ups have leaked to him, and that Wallace was in a very unenviable position:
I'm sympathetic to Eskew and Wallace, and not just because they're decent people. They've held their tongue from leaking what a couple of McCain higher-ups have told me--namely, that Palin simply knew nothing about national and international issues. Which meant, as one such adviser said to me: "Letting Sarah be Sarah may not be such a good thing." It's a grim binary choice, but apparently it came down to whether to make Palin look like a scripted robot or an unscripted ignoramus.
...


I cannot help but note that, as always, Bill Shakespeare long ago got there first with the perfect words:

Those he commands move only in command,
Nothing in love: now does he feel his title
Hang loose about him, like a giant's robe
Upon a dwarfish thief.


--MacBeth, Act V, scene II

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

At The Afterparty...


First Witch:
When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
Second Witch:
When the hurlyburly's done,
When the battle's lost and won.
Third Witch:
That will be ere the set of sun.
First Witch:
Fuck you, Joe!
Third Witch:
You promised you'd pick me!
First Witch:
So you wanna do this right now?
Third Witch:
You told me a hundred times. "Joe," you said, "you are my chosen people!"
First Witch:
I explained that to you. I needed the Base. They needed a chew-toy with tits. I thought you people understood simple fucking arithmetic.
Third Witch:
You take that back!
First Witch:
Jesus Christ...
Third Witch:
Sure, throw that in my face.
Second Witch:
Stopit!Stopit!Stopit! (bursts into tears)
Third Witch:
Now see what you did.
First Witch:
Me?
Third Witch:
I'm never gonna be Secretary of anything.
First Witch:
What do you have to bitch about? I'm the one who's gonna be the Republican Max Schmeling until the end of time.


Macbeth; Act I, Scene I

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Bubba Bubble


4 Sale: One Big Tent. Slightly Used. (click pic for larger)

For most of my adult life, Conservatism has been a cult where rich people exploited stupid people by playing on their fears and bigotries.

Period.

The idea that most of the margin-of-victory orcs the GOP sopped up during the "Reagan Revolution" were participating in some glorious, Randite uprising or gave a shit about rights -- civil, individual, property or otherwise -- for anyone but themselves and for any reasons other than to ratify their particular strains of paranoia or bigotry was laughable.

Up until very recently, a loose but accurate translation of the Right's technical term for anyone who pointed this out was "Dirty America-hating Liberal Traitor".

Of course, now that the Bubba Bubble has collapsed and Conservatism’s cultural hedge-fund managers like David Fucking Brooks, George Will, Andrew Sullivan and Kathleen Parker have found the product they’ve grown wealthy and influential flogging is as worthless and lethal as a 1970 Ford Pinto made out of securitized mortgages and Chinese dog food, they have come up with a Brand Spanking New technical term for people who question the wisdom of the Dear Leader and the sanity of the Party Base:

“Real Conservatives”

Bwahahaha!


UPDATE: Link fixed (thanks, cyrano.) Now must dash to mine the NaCl.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

And the Nostradamus Lifetime Achievement Award


Goes to…

So who gets the prestigious NLAA -- the “Peeping Tomorrow” -- for most accurately predicting (the earliest and in print) the abject catastrophe that the Bush Administration would become?

The Onion, of course. From January 17, 2001:

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

January 17, 2001 | Issue 37•01


President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.


"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration
," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

Wall Street responded strongly to the Bush speech, with the Dow Jones industrial fluctuating wildly before closing at an 18-month low. The NASDAQ composite index, rattled by a gloomy outlook for tech stocks in 2001, also fell sharply, losing 4.4 percent of its total value between 3 p.m. and the closing bell.

Asked for comment about the cooling technology sector, Bush said: "That's hardly my area of expertise."

Turning to the subject of the environment, Bush said he will do whatever it takes to undo the tremendous damage not done by the Clinton Administration to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He assured citizens that he will follow through on his campaign promise to open the 1.5 million acre refuge's coastal plain to oil drilling. As a sign of his commitment to bringing about a change in the environment, he pointed to his choice of Gale Norton for Secretary of the Interior. Norton, Bush noted, has "extensive experience" fighting environmental causes, working as a lobbyist for lead-paint manufacturers and as an attorney for loggers and miners, in addition to suing the EPA to overturn clean-air standards.



"Finally, the horrific misrule of the Democrats has been brought to a close," House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert (R-IL) told reporters. "Under Bush, we can all look forward to military aggression, deregulation of dangerous, greedy industries, and the defunding of vital domestic social-service programs upon which millions depend. Mercifully, we can now say goodbye to the awful nightmare that was Clinton's America."

"For years, I tirelessly preached the message that Clinton must be stopped," conservative talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh said. "And yet, in 1996, the American public failed to heed my urgent warnings, re-electing Clinton despite the fact that the nation was prosperous and at peace under his regime. But now, thank God, that's all done with. Once again, we will enjoy mounting debt, jingoism, nuclear paranoia, mass deficit, and a massive military build-up."

An overwhelming 49.9 percent of Americans responded enthusiastically to the Bush speech.

"After eight years of relatively sane fiscal policy under the Democrats, we have reached a point where, just a few weeks ago, President Clinton said that the national debt could be paid off by as early as 2012," Rahway, NJ, machinist and father of three Bud Crandall said. "That's not the kind of world I want my children to grow up in."

"You have no idea what it's like to be black and enfranchised," said Marlon Hastings, one of thousands of Miami-Dade County residents whose votes were not counted in the 2000 presidential election. "George W. Bush understands the pain of enfranchisement, and ever since Election Day, he has fought tirelessly to make sure it never happens to my people again."

Bush concluded his speech on a note of healing and redemption.

"We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two," Bush said. "Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there's much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation's hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it."

"The insanity is over," Bush said. "After a long, dark night of peace and stability, the sun is finally rising again over America. We look forward to a bright new dawn not seen since the glory days of my dad."


I firmly believe that in world history textbooks 100 years from now, the Chapter on Early 21st century America will begin something like this:

In the Age of a Dumbass Dauphin and a cowed media, only the court jesters dared to speak the truth.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Gettin' Real Tired


Of the same species of degenerates


Passing their disease along like syphilis

And fucking up my planet

Generation after generation

After generation.

(Vid from the most recent Moose-and-Squirrely Bund Rally here)

The Bayeux Tapestry


of wingtard takedowns now available here at Jon Swift's bungalow (h/t Mike Finnigan at C&L)

So full of awesome you'll have to have the waiter wrap some up for take-home.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Wow



Nothing to add to Watertiger's (h/t) trenchant observation: Fucking. Brilliant.

Embracing Their Inner Klansman


This week, it's the "Scary Negro beat me up for loving America" hoax...

From "Crooks & Liars":

'B'-grade hoax reveals the GOP's inner race-baiter

By David Neiwert Friday Oct 24, 2008 6:30pm

Fox exec John Moody has it precisely right: the "Obama fan attacked McCain worker" hoax in fact does "forever link" the McCain campaign to race-baiting.

However, it's not just McCain. The entire Republican Party this year has been revealed as the Party of Racial Fear. Nor is it anything new: Republicans for years have tried to make hay off of racially incendiary cases that turn out to tell us more about the motives and worldviews of the torch-bearing mob than anything they might be chanting.

...


And by next week?

As they plummet in the polls with little left in the war chest but a $23,000 makeup artist?


"Maverick Stops Michelle Obama Girl-Gang From Sacrificing Down Syndrome Hero Baby to Allah!"

Another Palin Patriot


Shows up for early voting.

Let's Make a Zealot!


"So, irregardless, I get to keep da clothes, right?"

Dubya Left The Cake Out In The Rain


Posted by Hello
Little Red State Fundy Reprised

I brought this out of the April, 2005 cold storage vault because I'm lazy the most pernicious lie that "Conservatism Cannot Fail; Conservatism Can Only Be Failed" Righties (Yes, I'm looking at you, Andrew Sullivan)

"...
And what's left of the right has become so shrill, so theologically rigid, so culturally afraid that they have become a shell of what self-confident, future-oriented conservatives should be. The right will recover from Bush. But Rove has succeeded beyond measure in creating a durable majority: for the Democrats."


-- are now trying to peddle to themselves the fantasy that it was all Dubya's fault.

That he and Don Karleone came in through the bathroom windows, stole their righteous cause and left the Conservative cake out in the rain.

And they don't think that they can take it
Cause it took so long to bake it

And they'll never have that recipe again!
Oh, nooooes!

Well this is one of those Big Lies which must be pitilessly rebutted, discredited and mocked whenever it peeks its ridiculous head into the public discourse of grownups. So a few years ago I figured if maybe we explained the truth about Conservatism to them reeeeeeal slow, as if they were children:



One day we will have to explain to the children what happened when Thurston Howell III lost his right mind and decided that for the sake of some tax cuts to make him incrementally more comfortable, his very bestest buddies in the whole, wide world were the Ultra Right Wing Gorgons down in Jesusland.

May I suggest the following?
The Story of Little Red State Fundy

Little Red State Fundy found a grain of hate.

"Who will help me plant the hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she buried the hate in the bloody ground of the Old Confederacy. After a while it grew up paranoid and ignorant and violent.

"The hate is ripe now," said Little Red State Fundy. "Who will do the mass mailings and preach bigotry from the Pulpit?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she licked envelopes until her bill was cracked and dry and stood up into the House of God and crowed to her flocks in their millions that God Loved Them for hating and killing creatures who were not like them.

Then she asked, "Who will help me focus this hatred politically?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she made databases and phone banks, and walked door-to-door with petitions that talked of Gods Great Hatred of Gays, and Gods Great Hatred of Judges that did not worship the Hate God in exactly the way the Little Red State Fundy told them to.

Then she carried the hate to steps of the Congress and the White House.

"Who will make a mandate from this hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she got on the phone with her very good friend Karl Rove and with his help organized carpools to the polls, and get-out-the-vote drives, anti-gay marriage amendments and smear campaigns. For Jesus.

And Little Red State Fundy delivered the margin of victory and was featured in many, many magazines: without Little Red State Fundy, the Republican Party could never, ever, ever win anything.

And now everybody knew it.

Then she said, "Now who shall help me Rule the Earth."

"We will!" said Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

"I am quite sure you would," said Little Red State Fundy, "but see, now you are all my bitches."

Then she called Randall Terry and Tom DeLay and Ann Coulter and Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh and James Dobson, and they and the rest of the Shining Path Republicans used what was left of the Constitution as ass-floss.
And judges were terrorized into silence.
And those deemed ungodly were beaten in the streets.
And they invaded whoever the fuck they felt like, for whatever fucking reason they chose.
And the very idea of a Free and Fair press died.

And to people who had been very clear all along that they genuinely believed in a Theocratic Nanny State and thought that precipitating Armageddon and triggering the Second Coming should be the highest calling of any worldly government, were handed over the police, courts, government, treasury and nuclear weapons stockpiles of the United States of America.

And in the end -- just as they had been warned for the past twenty years -- there was nothing whatsoever left at all for Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

Obama/Biden 08

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Do it for Doug from IT.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Subprime Mortgage Hustle


Made Simple

The Original Conservative Joe


"A seething mass of rage, terror and guilty envy!" -- The Sunday Telegraph from 38 years ago.


The next time a Conservative tries to pretend their Glorious Cause was an untrammeled Originalist paradise until George Bush tiptoed into the White House in the dead of the night and fucked it all up, stuff their mendacious giggletalk right back down their throats and remind them that "Joe" has been with us forever,

and for the last 40 years their Glorious Cause has been mining him like uranium.

Obamapalooza


(h/t dan burnham)

Germany? Germany was a great, come-hither look

from across a crowded planet.

Denver? Denver was lovely. Denver was...


And St. Louis? St. Louis was roooooolling on the condom.

But Chicago?

Chicago on November 4th?

Obama's Election Night: Grant Park

Posted October 21, 2008 12:26 PM
The Swamp

by John McCormick

Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign will hold what it hopes will be an Election Night celebration in Grant Park in Chicago, a campaign aide confirmed this morning.

The large public space between the Loop and lakeshore also hosted a papal visit in 1979 and a Chicago Bulls NBA championship celebration in 1991. It more routinely host open-air concerts, sporting events and the Taste of Chicago.

The Obama aide said logistical details such as whether attendees will need to register online or obtain a ticket in advance are still being worked out and will be announced in the coming days.

The Obama event is expected to take place on the south end of the park in an area known as Hutchison Field.

...


Come what may, baby, in the same place thug-cops used nightsticks to play "Wipe Out" on the skulls of the original dirty fucking hippies 40 years ago, two weeks from now Chicago is gonna be the political equivalent of some #$$@% ankles-in-the-air *!!@# with !!!%$$ and plum sauce lovin'.

And, on a personal note, I must say that arranging to drop the center of the political universe a mere few miles from the castle is just first-rate constituent service, Senator.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Watching the Defectives


(Sorry, Elvis; had to do it.)

As we pick our way through the landscape of rubble, failure and debt that 30 years of Conservatism has left in it wake -- pushing our brooms and shaking our heads -- it is important to keep our sense of humor. And I gotta tell you, other than, say, Bill Kristol cranked to the gills on X trying desperately to lick peanut butter off of Bill O’Reilly’s bald spot, there is nothing funnier than watching a recently apostatized Conservative “independent” who Suddenly!Discovers! his Party is being run by degenerate lunatics going completely “Mercy land-sakes alive, where did alla these bah-barians evah come from!” apostal ™ .

One such Conservative “independent” is Larry Gellman, who was brought to my attention by his fellow-traveling Apostlican ™, Andrew Sullivan.

Oh my, but theirs is quite the six-hanky tale of woe my friends.

Larry is all a-weep and bewildered, having discovered that his beautiful, sunlit Conservative “independent” Eloi Randite split-level, Rancho del Utopia was sitting atop terrible machineries operated by , bitey, Conservative Morlock freaks




who view him less as a brother in arms and more as a yummy-yummy

pig in a blanket.

Jiminy-jillikers, Radioactive Man, if only someone hadda told Larry sooner!

Larry picks up his own, private trail of tears here
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Will the Republican Party Survive--And Does Anybody Care Anymore?


After hearing Powell, I immediately switched over to Fox News in time to get their reaction which was entirely critical and dismissive of Powell. One "analyst" speculated this was Powell's way of getting even with McCain for not selecting Powell to be his running mate. Another focused on how unfair it is for anyone to criticize McCain or his campaign since McCain is honest and righteous and Obama is so much worse. No one mentioned the merit or accuracy of Powell's statements. Later on MSNBC, Republican Pat Buchanan speculated that Powell picked Obama because he was just anxious to endorse a fellow Black guy.

Meanwhile, the Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Hugh Hewitt, Michael Medved, Dennis Prager radio crowd has gone non-stop venal and ballistic over the airwaves this month. Their entire programs are filled with lies, distortions, and partial truths about Obama and his positions. He is freely and constantly called anti-American, a traitor, a socialist, a terrorist, a friend of terrorists, a liar, a thief, a criminal, and a "bloodsucker" who wants to take every hard-working citizen's money--all of it--and distribute it to his liberal, radical, good-for-nothing friends.

This is not just about politics or an election. This has become a Holy War with these guys. My longtime friend Dennis Prager told me last year that unless I had learned to loathe the Left, then I had learned nothing from him in the 20 years I have regarded him as a teacher. He recently wrote a column on townhall.com in which he explains the difference between people on the Left and people on the Right. Apparently being a pluralist or an independent--trying to learn from all people--is no longer an option.

This latest descent completes the utter destruction of the Republican party as a force for good in this country. Until eight years ago, Republicans had a deserved reputation for being more socially and fiscally conservative and responsible. When the party culture became infected with the Bush/Rove/Cheney virus, it began to morph into a divisive force that possessed none of those qualities.
“Until eight years ago…”?

Bwahahahahaha!

You know, “independent” probably used to mean something once upon a time, but for the last few decades, “independent” has been nothing more than a smelly little grotto carved out of thin air by Cokie Roberts, David Broder, Joe Klein and a hundred others for the comfort of smug, gutless, closet Conservatives who wanted to play “Maverick – The Home Game” in public and masturbate to Rush Limbaugh in private.

An intellectual sniper’s nest for the craven and the clueless knocked together with little pundit hammers, bangbangbanging away morning, noon and night that both sides are equally wrong about everything all the time.

Actually, in a strange way, I almost of sympathize with the “Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Hugh Hewitt, Michael Medved, Dennis Prager radio crowd” contempt for people like Larry.

For 30 years the Party of God has been winning elections by pandering to the scum of America, and they have always been

Absolutely

Unambiguously

Crystal-Fucking-Clear

what their objectives were.

Some of them want Jesusland. Some want “The Handmaid’s Tale”.

Some are sitting on an arsenal and a year's supply of pemmican, praying for a race-war.

Some want the Rapture.

And some just want a nice, tidy, White Christian feudal state.

And we crazy, Socialist, America-haters?

We want our country – our beautiful, tolerant, raucous, vigorous, flawed democracy – back.

That’s what the Culture Wars have been about, Larry, or weren’t you paying attention?

Of course, as long as the Pig People were helping Ronald Reagan and Newt Gingrich win, “independents” like Larry were perfectly content to warm their little hands on the bonfires onto which their culture and country were being tossed. But now that its all going to shit, and the “independents” want to get off the merry-go-round, the devil wants his due.

Of course, the Larrys of the world couldn’t be bothered to read the fine print on the infernal contract they were signing because…
First Atwater came for Reagan's "welfare queens"
- but I was not a welfare queen so I did not speak out.

Then Gingrich came for the Liberals and the Unions,
- but I was taught to call everyone who disagreed with me a traitor, so I did not speak out.

Then Falwell and Robertson came for the gays,
- but gays are icky, so I did not speak out.

Then Limbaugh came for the Feminazis
- but strong, smart women terrify me, so I did not speak out.

And when they came for me, I had the fucking nerve to pretend to be Shocked!Shocked! that my Party was being run by degenerate lunatics.
Sorry Larry, but the 40 million of us who have spent a considerable fraction of our lives trying to warn people like you this day would come will never be the slightest bit interested in your outrage or your regrets until you start beginning every sentence with "I am so fucking sorry that I had my head up my ass for the last 30 years."

Or, to quote Rick Blaine from “Casablanca:
“I don’t mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one.”

Monday, October 20, 2008

Understanding the Right #2:


The Manchurian Electorate.


John D. asks in a thread below:

It's an interesting question: Why did the knuckle draggers hate Clinton so much? As Drifty points out, he was essentially a moderate Republican who did everything they could have possibly wanted. Whenever they screeched "Jump!" at him, his only response was to ask "How high?" And the hate wasn't faked, either; they truly despised him with a passion that can only be accurately described as psychotic, especially when you consider how demonstrably conservative the man was.


Rehctaw theorizes in the same thread:
...Why they hated him was that his success did not ONLY benefit the right and those who are on the right's list of primary, mainline beneficiaries.

(Rehctaw also writes vivid, explody paragraphs like this:
...
America's sin-eating demands national blinders, rationalization skills straight out of Compton, copious quantities of alcohol, mind-boggling special effects, Jedi mind-trick suspension of critical thinking and K's Neuralizer flashy thing.
...
over here, which is why you should really drop by and sit a spell when you can.)

There is something to what Rehctaw says (this notion that some people will never be able to enjoy Heaven unless they can also hear the screams of the tormented beneath them in Hell is something we understand quite well in Chicago. Here we call it "The Cubs/Sox cross-town rivalry") but I think a big piece of it is even simpler than that.

These people are hard-wired, burned-on-the-fucking-motherboard authoritarians who have all the behavioral and psychological range-of-motion of trained seals. What is genuinely dangerous about the Right is not their professed ideology (a shoebox-full of elitist abstractions about markets and men that has as little to do with human nature as 11th dimensional geometries have to do with getting me from here to the laundromat) or even their actual ideology (which,as Molly Ivins famously said about Pat Buchanan’s RNC speech in 1998, ‘... probably sounded better in the original German’).

No, what makes them so creepy is the depth and thoroughness of their brainwashing.

Compared to Conservatism, cigarettes are a mild and easily given-up leisure activity. They constitute a Manchurian Electorate: a 40-million-strong Confederate sleeper cell that can be flicked off and on like a switch, and whose furies and adulation can be modulated like burners on a camp stove.

Remember the 90s? When the half the country just lost its fucking mind under a feculent avalanche of Vince Foster murder and Clinton drug deal rumors whipped up by the puppets and pulpits of the Right?

Remember militias and black helicopter hysteria?

Remember the relentless, coordinated battle cry of “Government is evil and out to kill you” coming out of both the Republican Congress and Republican Hate radio 24/7/365?

Remember Tim McVeigh and Eric Rudolph?

The Pig People hated Bill Clinton simply because Right wing radicals whose path to the One Party Christopath Rule was being blocked by Bill Clinton told them to hate Bill Clinton.

Because Bill Clinton was in their way.

From the Bill Clinton interview with Rolling Stone from October, 2000.


THE STRUGGLE WITH NEWT GINGRICH


[Newt] was very candid with me about his political objectives. And he, in turn, from time to time, would get in trouble with the right wing of his own caucus, because they said I could talk him into too much.

On the other hand, as I told you, when he did things like blaming every bad thing that happened in America on Democrats, the 1960s and all that I thought it was highly destructive.

How did it make you feel personally?

At some point, probably around 1996, I got to the point where I no longer had personal feelings about those things - like the Whitewater investigation and the travel office investigation. Newt was smart. He knew there was nothing in any of that stuff. It was all politics to him; it was about power.

But he really did believe that the object of politics was to destroy your opponent. He ran former Democratic House Speaker Jim Wright out of Congress on account of that. And he had an enormous amount of success. He won the Congress basically by having a take-no-prisoners, be-against-everything approach.

Didn't he tell you once on the phone that he was planning to lead a revolution against you?

He thought he was leading a revolution, and I was in the way. … He thought that he could create, for the rest of my presidency, almost a parliamentary system, where he'd be the prime minister and make the policy, and I'd be in charge of foreign policy, and he'd help me.


How'd you develop your strategy for dealing with Newt - waiting him out, then outflanking him?



It's easier for the Republicans to be against everything than the Democrats, because people view us as the party of affirmative government. I believed in balancing the budget. I just didn't want to do it the way they wanted to.

What's the bottom line on Newt? If you were a historian, what would you say about Gingrich?

That he was immensely successful in consolidating the power of the Republican Party in its right wing and then winning the Congress, winning the historic struggle for Congress in 1994, by opposing me right down the line.



REFLECTIONS ON IMPEACHMENT

In the history books, it will say, of course, that you were the second president ever to be impeached. How does that make you feel? Will it cloud your real accomplishments?

The history books will also record, I think, that both impeachments were wrong. And that's why they failed. And I'm just grateful that, unlike Andrew Johnson, I was less embittered by it, and I had more support, from the public and in the Congress, and so I was able to resume my duties and actually get a lot done for the American people in the aftermath.



What do you think of Ken Starr now?

I think he did what he was hired to do.

You told me you never really met him and had no ill feelings.

I met him once, when he interviewed me. But he was hired to keep the inquiry going past the '96 election and to do whatever damage he could. That's why he was put in, and he did what they asked him to do.

What's your take on Representative Henry Hyde -who was supposed to be Mr. Reasonable, and then went and seemingly defied the will of the people after the '98 elections?

He did what he was hired to do, too. The right wing was in control of the Congress, and they thought they had paid in the 1998 elections when they nearly lost the House. They thought they had a free shot to put a hit on me, and so they did. I don't think it's complicated.

They stayed with their right wing, and they thought they would pay no price in 2000. They thought, whatever happened, it would all be over by then. They thought they could put a black mark on me in history, and that was really important to them. They were really angry they got beat, they were angry.


One of the purely tactical virtues of the Obama candidacy was that it temporarily but measurably screwed up the GOP plans and timetables for 2008.

The Republican’s wanted to run against Senator Clinton so bad they could barely stand upright for fear of showing the world their rage-stoked political priapism. They wanted to run against her because they thought they were ready for her. Because for eight years they’d been preparing their own Clinton Atlantic Wall, with every road and keyword mined and every ancient scar and scandal zeroed in like so many Normandy hedgerows.

Hehehe.

Too bad, fuckers.

Dear Mom,


Just a note to let you know you can stop worrying about me. I just landed a very lucrative job in what we in the business call the "adult-oriented edutainment industry"...

-- Love, Judith

From the Huffington Post:

Judith Miller Joins Fox News
Fox Says "She Has A Very Impressive Resume"


Huffington Post | October 20, 2008

The Washington Post's Howard Kurtz reports that disgraced New York Times reporter Judith Miller will be joining Fox News, in an announcement expected to be made today:

Fox News is expected to announce today the hiring of a new contributor, a veteran national security correspondent who has shared a Pulitzer Prize.


Miller will be an on-air analyst and will write for Fox's Web site. "She has a very impressive resume," says Senior Vice President John Moody. "We've all had stories that didn't come out exactly as we had hoped. It's certainly something she's going to be associated with for all time, and there's not much anyone can do about that, but we want to make use of the tremendous expertise she brings on a lot of other issues. . . . She has explained herself and she has nothing to apologize for."


Dear Judith,

However tasteful the lighting and classy the music, I believe the New York Times style book specifies that it is “prostitution” if you suck dick for money, but if you suck dick for money on camera, the technical term is “porn”.

Man, that New York Times style book covers everything!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sunday Morning Comin’ Down




The Black Russians Are Coming!
The Black Russians Are Coming!

Edition.

The chatter from the Conservatives in the back of the clown car on ”The Chris Matthews Show” was all about how evil aliens from outer space somehow snuck into the Republican kitchen and replaced all the Conservative cupcakes with sugar-frosted Christopath hand-grenades.

Andrew Sullivan: When I watch Ronald Reagan (sigh) I feel better.

Like a junkie

Loves his spike.

Sullivan: Joe the Plumber has had more press conferences that Sarah Palin. A candidate for Vice President of the United States refusing to hold any press conferences? There has never been anything like this in my memory. It is bizarre.

Sullivan: Bush killed conservatism. Not me! Not us! Bush single-handedly hijacked the Party, expanded gummint and pissed away the Treasury!

Matthews: Isn’t there a kind of “intellectual congestion” when you have Conservatives flushing hundreds of billions of dollars down Dubya’s rathole overseas, while absolutely refusing to raise taxes to pay for it here at home?

Kattie Kay: Worse than “intellectual congestion”, with Palin you have intellectual denial. Anyone who knows a damned thing about anything is dismissed as having a “big, fat resume”.

Sullivan: What Republicans are doing rigging the election in advance so, if they lose, they can say that Obama cheated his way into the White House with “minority voters”. That’s what ACORN is about.

I missed “Face the Nation” . Hey, CBS, get this show out of head-to-head competition with Fox and ABC in the Chicago market. At 30 minutes it’s the runt of the litter and deserves better that to be sacrificed to the gods of counterprogramming.

On “This Week” , the boys and girls got dressed up and pretended that Newt Gingrich was a guest and not just another Mouse Circus clown.

Newt: Joe The Plumber got savaged by the “elite media”.

Bad elite media!

Also Newt warns of the horror, the horror of having stinky, Liberal elitists run the whole gummint.

Donna Brazile : The premise of Newt’s argument is that voters want gridlock and partisanship.

Tom Friedman: People want cool, competent professional in the Big Chair. Obama is winning on temperament.

David Gergen: McCain is shitting where he lives and ruining his reputation. He should go out as a Happy Warrior, saving seats in Congress where he can.

George Will: The so-called Reagan Era began with Nixon.

Newt: Obama is going to have a Pelosi/Reid Congress that wants to take away freedom of speech for Rush Limbaugh!

Brazile: Mr. Speaker, I think that Obama will be constrained from pooping on Rush Limbaugh’s daily hatefest by a 10 trillion dollar deficit and two wars.

Translation: Newt’s Party destroyed America, and to clean up Republican messes, Obama is going to have to short change a lot of things we Liberals would like him to do. Which was the whole point of wrecking the country in the first place.

Later, Gergen and Friedman look on in disgust while Newt’s piggy little eyes get all glittery as he talks about those effing Negroes race.

Gergen: Obama is surrounding himself with mainstream people. Powell. Warren Buffett. Paul Volker. The idea that he’ll be overwhelmed by evil Socialists is ridiculous.

How much money does Obama has? More than Bush and Kerry combined. Hell, he’s spending eight million dollars to open offices up in Lidsville and run up the score in World of Warcraft!

Newt: If you tax rich people, rich people will just move their money offshore. Even now, armies of lawyers are working on creating new and exciting ways of using string theory and quantum mechanics to create tax dodges for the wealthy!

driftglass: Typical, sociopath "reasoning": if you have speed limits, speeders will buy radar detectors; if murder is illegal, murders will just try harder to hide the evidence.

Will: Obama should fear excess from his own Party! Fear them!

Gergen: At some point, Democrats have to say that the reason we are in this hole is because Republicans have fucked this country into the abyss. Republicans are losing wars, bankrupting the Treasury and napalming your 401K.

Will: Obama should be like Everett Dirksen and be flexible!

Newt: Why isn’t anyone talking about the Most Important Issue Evar! That Obama wants to force people to join unions!

What with losing the economy in an all-night craps game, losing two wars at once and fucking up our international repudiation, I wasn’t real clear about exactly how much of Murrica the Republicans have left behind for we crazy Liberals to destroy. But according to Newt (although I have not gotten the memo from Socialist Central Command high atop Mount Friedrich Engels) it involves making Rush Limbaugh unhappy, and prevent employers from intimidating people out of joining a union.

Also I hear we’re going down to the gulf coast to throw liberal chardonnay on the rubble of New Orleans.

Friedman: If you listen to David Petraus, he doesn’t believe in the surge in Afghanistan. Afghanistan is lost and we need to get out.

For 4/5th of this show, McSame was not mentioned and all discussion centered around what President Obama can or can’t do.

Emergent trend alert.

Before the election is even held, George Will, Newt Gingrich, David Fucking Brooks
“What we’re going to see, in short, is the Gingrich revolution in reverse and on steroids. There will be a big increase in spending and deficits. In normal times, moderates could have restrained the zeal on the left. In an economic crisis, not a chance. The over-reach is coming. The backlash is next.”


and other Wingnut Welfare Warriors are already positioning an Obama Presidency as Socialist, Failed and predicting an inevitable Backlash.


On “Meet the Press” the Shout Out heard ‘round the world.

Yadda yadda yadda.

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell: I endorse that Barack Hussein Obama fella.

Yadda yadda yadda.

Later…

Andrea Mitchell: A lot of the shithouse-rat-crazy fringe crap that McCain has bet his campaign on is even further undercut by a Powell endorsement.

David Fucking Brooks: McCain coulda run a different campaign. Coulda been a contender. His early advisors wanted to run that kind of race but “the campaign” got rid of them and brought on the wingnut orthodoxy clowns.

Scarbrorough: Yeah, David, but Steve Schmidt’s depraved, Rovian, race-baiting strategy, was working. Sarah Palin. Bill Ayers. If the fucking the economy hadn’t melted down, McSame and Madame Scare-a-Moose were just a couple pf cross burnings away from sailed into the Bush Third Term.

This is Joe Scar reminding Bobo which side of the bread their wildly overprices careers are buttered on.

Reminding Bobo that Conservatives have absolutely no core values beyond fealty to whoever their Dear Leader is this week.

Reminding Bobo never to take sides with anyone against the family again.

Ever.

Scarbrorough: It is a Conservative country. Doesn’t matter that we’re looking at massive Democratic majorities in the Congress and a Democratic president, the voices in my head tell me that this is a nation of right wing fellow travelers who won’t stand for fucking Socialism!

Brooks: I might have been afraid that the Left would nationalize the banks, but we’ve already done that.

No word on whether or not Scarbrorough beat the crap out of David Fucking Brooks with a copy of "The Fountainhead" in the parking lot after the show.

“Fox News Sunday” forgot to pack its “Fair And Balanced” panties and goes a whole half hour with Cranky John and Plumber Joe.

Wallace: Aren’t you losing?

McSame Nooooo! (elaborated on for many, many minutes without pesky “journalismish” interruptions.)

McSame First time since Watergate that a candidate has raised a lot of money. Lot of “strange things” going on in this campaign, my friends.

Wallace: Is the scary Negro buying this election?

McSame What’s going to happen in future elections if someone – especially some incumbent – raises a ton of money!? Huh?

Funny how I don’t remember McSame’s shrieking in pain when he was campaigning hell for leather to get Dubya re-elected and this was the headline:
Bush dwarfs Democrats in fund raising

Friday, February 20, 2004 Posted: 3:07 PM EST (2007 GMT)

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The re-election campaign of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney raised $12.8 million in January, far outpacing the amount raised by the top two Democratic presidential candidates, according to numbers released by campaign staffs.

Friday was the deadline for candidates' monthly fund-raising reports to the Federal Election Commission.

The Bush-Cheney '04 election campaign has raised $143.5 million since it began last May, said campaign press secretary Scott Stanzel.
...
And this:
Final Analysis of Bush-Kerry Fundraising Shows Heavy Reliance on Small Number of People Who Bundle Contributions

Special Interests With Large Stake in Federal Government Raised Enormous Sums for Bush, www.WhiteHouseForSale.org Analysis Shows

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The enormous sums bundled to boost the campaigns of President Bush and Sen. John Kerry accentuate the ability of well-financed special interests to dominate the financing of presidential campaigns and underscore the need for reform, according to an analysis Public Citizen released today.

Bush’s re-election campaign raised $262 million in the primary elections. At least 29 percent of the money Bush raised during the 2004 primaries – $76.5 million – came from only 548 bundlers, according to the analysis, available here. (Public Citizen estimates that this number is closer to 40 percent, based on news reports quoting many bundlers as having far exceeded the minimum they pledged to raise.)
Wallace: Are you suggesting that there is something illegal or scandalous going on?

McSame Raising lots of money always leads to scandal! This is the first time since Watergate that this has happened!

WTF?

Wallace: What about that your plumber dude?

McSame What is happening in America where someone gets savaged for just askin’ a candidate a question?

Wallace: But you mentioned him 21 times.

McSame: Fuck you. It was the media that did that, I tell’s ya! The filthy, Lefty media!

Wallace: Is the scary Negro also a smutty Socialist?

McSame: He’s a Liberal Lefty! He wants to redistribute wealth.

Wallace: But Senator, you just voted to spend 700 billion dollars to nationalize our banks.

McSame: When Republicans do stuff, it doesn’t count. Besides, uh, y’know, the Depression. ACORN! And stuff!

Wallace: About those Robocalls. (Plays one. It is just as despicable and inflammatory as you’d imagine. “You should know…” Ayers. Domestic terrorist. Bombed and killed Americans. And so forth.)

McSame: That is all absolutely true!

Wallace: But in 2000 you were the victim of just such a campaign. You swore you would never do such a thing. Now you’re running these ads, using the same people who fucked you over in 2000.

McSame: When Republicans do stuff, it doesn’t count. Also ACORN. Ayers. Sooooocialism. Joe The Plumber.

Wallace: Once these filthy Socialists take over, how will they ruin America?

McSame: Taxes. Protectionism. Condoms on babies. Shooting plumbers from helicopters and raising their orphaned children to be Muslim queers.

Wallace: Obama wants to give tax credits to poor people. You call it welfare. You’re health care plan gives tax credits to the same people. Why isn’t that welfare too?

McSame: When Republicans do stuff, it doesn’t count.

Wallace: But if Democrats take even more power in the Congress, and you say their agenda is radically evil and far Left, how are you – even with all you Sekrit Maverick Powers -- plan to work with those fucking Marxist haters who want to destroy America?

McSame: Hey, Reagan worked with Democrats. So, y’know, like that.

So…the McSame plan is to…reanimate the mortal remains of Tip O’Neill and St. Ronnie?

Hop in the Wayback Machine and go back a quarter of a century before Conservative ideas had proven beyond all doubt to be such complete and abject failures?

Wallace: Isn’t Caribou Barbie now a drag on you ticket?

McSame: No, her magnificent ass makes me feel alive again! she is a direct rebuttal to the radical feminist agenda for America.


And the beat-down goes on...

Deep in the Economic Cellar


A wingnut prays for deliverance...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Understanding the Right #1


Junkie logic.

The last lie a junkie tells himself isn't "I’m not an addict."

The last lie a junkie tells himself is "My being a addict doesn't matter."

And in the Conservative Crack House of Many Doors, Ronald Reagan was that first cocktail. The first line of coke. The first needle. The first "Holy Mother of God!” WOWGASM that shotguns right through the blood/brain barrier, reformats your entire ethical hard drive, and scrimshaws a brand new Prime Directive on the inside of your skull.

Listen to any aging wingnut sighing and jerking sadly off to a tattered photo of Saint Ronnie -- despite the fact that the catastrophes we are now reaping were sown by his ruinous ideology -- and you can hear every addict who ever lived pining for that first Perfect High. The one they spend the rest of their days chasing, regardless of the size of the debts they run up or the ruined lives they leave in their wake.

Clinton? Objectively, Clinton qualifies as the greatest Center/Right President in history, and with balanced budgets, GATT, welfare reform, NAFTA, DOMA, record surpluses, foreign and domestic terrorists brought to book, and an actual military victory, he arguably delivered to the wingnuts more of everything they ever said they wanted than anyone else.

And they hated him for it.

Why?

Because Clinton was mere addiction maintenance delivered in measured doses under adult supervision: all policy-wonk that wasn’t cut with that industrial-waste-grade bigoted, psychotic bloodlust that gives Conservatism its wild, freebasing edge. Clinton was methadone, and for the hardcore lifestyle junkie, that shit is for babies.

And Dubya? Dubya was meth with a ketamine chaser delivered hammer-and-anvil directly to the lizard brain.

Dubya was 40 million Pig People tired of the hard, fussy job of being a tolerant, powerful democracy finally once-and-for-all blowing America’s family inheritance on an eight-year, blood-drunk bender.

Dubya was the United States crawling through dumpsters at our national soul’s midnight, killing anything that moves, licking out the contents of random baggies, hoping the little white flakes clinging to the plastic is crank and not rat poison, and waking up the next day -- that horrible, horrible sun-also-rises morning after -- broke and twitchy, arguing over what more they can sell off to keep the party going and who they can blame for their gone-to-shit lives.

So what is the last lie a Conservative tells himself? The last lie that the junkies and their suppliers both fight like hell to keep alive and twitching?

That, whether or not their ideology is depraved or deluded, it doesn’t matter because:
“Both side are always equally wrong about everything all the time.”
Doesn’t matter the who or what. The when or how. Doesn’t matter who was driving the bus towards the cliff and who was waving the red flags, throwing their bodies in front of it, trying to make it stop. Doesn’t matter who was trying to douse the conflagration with hoses shredded by 20 year of Reaganism, and who was lobbing milk cartons full of jellied gasoline onto the bonfire.

It is the lie the hagged-out Cokie Roberts pushes week after week after week on “This Week…”

It is the lie that David Fucking Brooks pushes in the pages of the New York Times.

It is the lie that made David Broder the “Dean” of the Villagers; the lie on which the quarterly profits of the entire Murdoch media empire now rests.

Because these people and thousands more like them are not journalists or “pundits” or expert who offer facts or interpretation or a philosophical framework for illuminating and contextualizing the events of the world.

They are pushers, selling that last, nihilistic lie to the junkies on the Right who will pay any price and cut any throat to escape the fact that they are personally and specifically responsible for the destruction of the country they claimed to love in the name of a God they claim to believe in.

Which is why November 4th is so much more than an election.

November 4th is an Intervention, because the junkie-pusher spiral of the Republican rank-and-file and their leaders has finally hit bottom: we need to heal this country or lose it, and arguing -- "reasoning" -- with wingnuts and their enabling shills and hacks is as pointless as trying to reason with addicts and dealers.

The only way this country is going to be saved is by taking it away from them, school board by school board, city council by city council, congressional district by congressional district, state by state, election by election until they are driven back into the political sewers from whence they came.