Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

The Black Russians Are Coming!
The Black Russians Are Coming!

Edition.

The chatter from the Conservatives in the back of the clown car on ”The Chris Matthews Show” was all about how evil aliens from outer space somehow snuck into the Republican kitchen and replaced all the Conservative cupcakes with sugar-frosted Christopath hand-grenades.

Andrew Sullivan: When I watch Ronald Reagan (sigh) I feel better.

Like a junkie

Loves his spike.

Sullivan: Joe the Plumber has had more press conferences that Sarah Palin. A candidate for Vice President of the United States refusing to hold any press conferences? There has never been anything like this in my memory. It is bizarre.

Sullivan: Bush killed conservatism. Not me! Not us! Bush single-handedly hijacked the Party, expanded gummint and pissed away the Treasury!

Matthews: Isn’t there a kind of “intellectual congestion” when you have Conservatives flushing hundreds of billions of dollars down Dubya’s rathole overseas, while absolutely refusing to raise taxes to pay for it here at home?

Kattie Kay: Worse than “intellectual congestion”, with Palin you have intellectual denial. Anyone who knows a damned thing about anything is dismissed as having a “big, fat resume”.

Sullivan: What Republicans are doing rigging the election in advance so, if they lose, they can say that Obama cheated his way into the White House with “minority voters”. That’s what ACORN is about.

I missed “Face the Nation” . Hey, CBS, get this show out of head-to-head competition with Fox and ABC in the Chicago market. At 30 minutes it’s the runt of the litter and deserves better that to be sacrificed to the gods of counterprogramming.

On “This Week” , the boys and girls got dressed up and pretended that Newt Gingrich was a guest and not just another Mouse Circus clown.

Newt: Joe The Plumber got savaged by the “elite media”.

Bad elite media!

Also Newt warns of the horror, the horror of having stinky, Liberal elitists run the whole gummint.

Donna Brazile : The premise of Newt’s argument is that voters want gridlock and partisanship.

Tom Friedman: People want cool, competent professional in the Big Chair. Obama is winning on temperament.

David Gergen: McCain is shitting where he lives and ruining his reputation. He should go out as a Happy Warrior, saving seats in Congress where he can.

George Will: The so-called Reagan Era began with Nixon.

Newt: Obama is going to have a Pelosi/Reid Congress that wants to take away freedom of speech for Rush Limbaugh!

Brazile: Mr. Speaker, I think that Obama will be constrained from pooping on Rush Limbaugh’s daily hatefest by a 10 trillion dollar deficit and two wars.

Translation: Newt’s Party destroyed America, and to clean up Republican messes, Obama is going to have to short change a lot of things we Liberals would like him to do. Which was the whole point of wrecking the country in the first place.

Later, Gergen and Friedman look on in disgust while Newt’s piggy little eyes get all glittery as he talks about those effing Negroes race.

Gergen: Obama is surrounding himself with mainstream people. Powell. Warren Buffett. Paul Volker. The idea that he’ll be overwhelmed by evil Socialists is ridiculous.

How much money does Obama has? More than Bush and Kerry combined. Hell, he’s spending eight million dollars to open offices up in Lidsville and run up the score in World of Warcraft!

Newt: If you tax rich people, rich people will just move their money offshore. Even now, armies of lawyers are working on creating new and exciting ways of using string theory and quantum mechanics to create tax dodges for the wealthy!

driftglass: Typical, sociopath "reasoning": if you have speed limits, speeders will buy radar detectors; if murder is illegal, murders will just try harder to hide the evidence.

Will: Obama should fear excess from his own Party! Fear them!

Gergen: At some point, Democrats have to say that the reason we are in this hole is because Republicans have fucked this country into the abyss. Republicans are losing wars, bankrupting the Treasury and napalming your 401K.

Will: Obama should be like Everett Dirksen and be flexible!

Newt: Why isn’t anyone talking about the Most Important Issue Evar! That Obama wants to force people to join unions!

What with losing the economy in an all-night craps game, losing two wars at once and fucking up our international repudiation, I wasn’t real clear about exactly how much of Murrica the Republicans have left behind for we crazy Liberals to destroy. But according to Newt (although I have not gotten the memo from Socialist Central Command high atop Mount Friedrich Engels) it involves making Rush Limbaugh unhappy, and prevent employers from intimidating people out of joining a union.

Also I hear we’re going down to the gulf coast to throw liberal chardonnay on the rubble of New Orleans.

Friedman: If you listen to David Petraus, he doesn’t believe in the surge in Afghanistan. Afghanistan is lost and we need to get out.

For 4/5th of this show, McSame was not mentioned and all discussion centered around what President Obama can or can’t do.

Emergent trend alert.

Before the election is even held, George Will, Newt Gingrich, David Fucking Brooks

“What we’re going to see, in short, is the Gingrich revolution in reverse and on steroids. There will be a big increase in spending and deficits. In normal times, moderates could have restrained the zeal on the left. In an economic crisis, not a chance. The over-reach is coming. The backlash is next.”

and other Wingnut Welfare Warriors are already positioning an Obama Presidency as Socialist, Failed and predicting an inevitable Backlash.


On “Meet the Press” the Shout Out heard ‘round the world.

Yadda yadda yadda.

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell: I endorse that Barack Hussein Obama fella.

Yadda yadda yadda.

Later…

Andrea Mitchell: A lot of the shithouse-rat-crazy fringe crap that McCain has bet his campaign on is even further undercut by a Powell endorsement.

David Fucking Brooks: McCain coulda run a different campaign. Coulda been a contender. His early advisors wanted to run that kind of race but “the campaign” got rid of them and brought on the wingnut orthodoxy clowns.

Scarbrorough: Yeah, David, but Steve Schmidt’s depraved, Rovian, race-baiting strategy, was working. Sarah Palin. Bill Ayers. If the fucking the economy hadn’t melted down, McSame and Madame Scare-a-Moose were just a couple pf cross burnings away from sailed into the Bush Third Term.

This is Joe Scar reminding Bobo which side of the bread their wildly overprices careers are buttered on.

Reminding Bobo that Conservatives have absolutely no core values beyond fealty to whoever their Dear Leader is this week.

Reminding Bobo never to take sides with anyone against the family again.

Ever.

Scarbrorough: It is a Conservative country. Doesn’t matter that we’re looking at massive Democratic majorities in the Congress and a Democratic president, the voices in my head tell me that this is a nation of right wing fellow travelers who won’t stand for fucking Socialism!

Brooks: I might have been afraid that the Left would nationalize the banks, but we’ve already done that.

No word on whether or not Scarbrorough beat the crap out of David Fucking Brooks with a copy of "The Fountainhead" in the parking lot after the show.

“Fox News Sunday” forgot to pack its “Fair And Balanced” panties and goes a whole half hour with Cranky John and Plumber Joe.

Wallace: Aren’t you losing?

McSame Nooooo! (elaborated on for many, many minutes without pesky “journalismish” interruptions.)

McSame First time since Watergate that a candidate has raised a lot of money. Lot of “strange things” going on in this campaign, my friends.

Wallace: Is the scary Negro buying this election?

McSame What’s going to happen in future elections if someone – especially some incumbent – raises a ton of money!? Huh?

Funny how I don’t remember McSame’s shrieking in pain when he was campaigning hell for leather to get Dubya re-elected and this was the headline:

Bush dwarfs Democrats in fund raising

Friday, February 20, 2004 Posted: 3:07 PM EST (2007 GMT)

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The re-election campaign of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney raised $12.8 million in January, far outpacing the amount raised by the top two Democratic presidential candidates, according to numbers released by campaign staffs.

Friday was the deadline for candidates' monthly fund-raising reports to the Federal Election Commission.

The Bush-Cheney '04 election campaign has raised $143.5 million since it began last May, said campaign press secretary Scott Stanzel.
...

And this:

Final Analysis of Bush-Kerry Fundraising Shows Heavy Reliance on Small Number of People Who Bundle Contributions

Special Interests With Large Stake in Federal Government Raised Enormous Sums for Bush, www.WhiteHouseForSale.org Analysis Shows

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The enormous sums bundled to boost the campaigns of President Bush and Sen. John Kerry accentuate the ability of well-financed special interests to dominate the financing of presidential campaigns and underscore the need for reform, according to an analysis Public Citizen released today.

Bush’s re-election campaign raised $262 million in the primary elections. At least 29 percent of the money Bush raised during the 2004 primaries – $76.5 million – came from only 548 bundlers, according to the analysis, available here. (Public Citizen estimates that this number is closer to 40 percent, based on news reports quoting many bundlers as having far exceeded the minimum they pledged to raise.)
…

Wallace: Are you suggesting that there is something illegal or scandalous going on?

McSame Raising lots of money always leads to scandal! This is the first time since Watergate that this has happened!

WTF?

Wallace: What about that your plumber dude?

McSame What is happening in America where someone gets savaged for just askin’ a candidate a question?

Wallace: But you mentioned him 21 times.

McSame: Fuck you. It was the media that did that, I tell’s ya! The filthy, Lefty media!

Wallace: Is the scary Negro also a smutty Socialist?

McSame: He’s a Liberal Lefty! He wants to redistribute wealth.

Wallace: But Senator, you just voted to spend 700 billion dollars to nationalize our banks.

McSame: When Republicans do stuff, it doesn’t count. Besides, uh, y’know, the Depression. ACORN! And stuff!

Wallace: About those Robocalls. (Plays one. It is just as despicable and inflammatory as you’d imagine. “You should know…” Ayers. Domestic terrorist. Bombed and killed Americans. And so forth.)

McSame: That is all absolutely true!

Wallace: But in 2000 you were the victim of just such a campaign. You swore you would never do such a thing. Now you’re running these ads, using the same people who fucked you over in 2000.

McSame: When Republicans do stuff, it doesn’t count. Also ACORN. Ayers. Sooooocialism. Joe The Plumber.

Wallace: Once these filthy Socialists take over, how will they ruin America?

McSame: Taxes. Protectionism. Condoms on babies. Shooting plumbers from helicopters and raising their orphaned children to be Muslim queers.

Wallace: Obama wants to give tax credits to poor people. You call it welfare. You’re health care plan gives tax credits to the same people. Why isn’t that welfare too?

McSame: When Republicans do stuff, it doesn’t count.

Wallace: But if Democrats take even more power in the Congress, and you say their agenda is radically evil and far Left, how are you – even with all you Sekrit Maverick Powers -- plan to work with those fucking Marxist haters who want to destroy America?

McSame: Hey, Reagan worked with Democrats. So, y’know, like that.

So…the McSame plan is to…reanimate the mortal remains of Tip O’Neill and St. Ronnie?

Hop in the Wayback Machine and go back a quarter of a century before Conservative ideas had proven beyond all doubt to be such complete and abject failures?

Wallace: Isn’t Caribou Barbie now a drag on you ticket?

McSame: No, her magnificent ass makes me feel alive again! she is a direct rebuttal to the radical feminist agenda for America.


And the beat-down goes on...