Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

Usually I try to cover the waterfront on these little Sunday excursions through the ankle-deep sewage that is American mainstream political conversation. But because this weekend was so perfectly bookended by Charles Krauthammer and Tony Perkins explaining the Master Race talking points on same sex marriage -- and because Krauthammer unleashed some of the most nakedly despotic and anti-democratic sentiments I have heard on the "highbrow" end of the teevee machine in a long, long time -- I think they have earned the lion's share of the spotlight.

The strategy is clearly as simple as this: chain this issue to the vox populi bumper and drag it the Hell away from any discussion of civil rights as far and fast as possible. Just keep repeating that it's really all about "activist judges" and the thwarting the righteous will of the mob, which will have the unfortunate effect (make sure you pause while you take out your cryin' hanky) of dividing America!

Because dividing America makes Baby Jesus cry, just like when the Dirty Liberal Supreme Court said that snooty, non-rich/white ladies actually owned their own uteri and had the right to, say, refuse to bear their rapist's child!

And, golly, everybody knows that if there's anything the Pig People hate more than NASCAR, guns and hot trailer cousin sex it is a ginned up Conservative culture war that distracts the ADD media from the fallout from fucked up Conservative economic policies!

So remember, brownshirts, if anybody asks, sinful, Yahweh-wrath -inducing queer marriage has NO PARALLEL with civil rights for niggers...coloreds...spades...African Americans, and Jim Crow and segregation were solely about voting and had nothing to do with who was permitted to marry whom.

Got it?

Charles Krauthammer gassed up and launched the trial balloon on "Inside Washington" on Friday (transcription is sloppy-but-fast accurate, except where it is obviously not)...

Craphammer: This will be a Pyrrhic victory. Regardless of what you think of the merits of the issue either way, this is not the way to do it. We should have learned our lesson with the abortion decision in '73. Ruth "Badass" Ginsberg herself once said that the abortion decision...

Craphammer has declared that the issue of "Who you can marry" has nothing to do with civil rights, and is only and exclusively analogous to "the abortion decision" because...

Craphammer: (quoting Ginsberg) It preempted any democratic resolution. Took it out of the hands of legislators. Prevented the stable resolution of (blah blah blah...) Why would you want to "step on the process" and take it our of any political and democratic influence?

According to Craphammer, a judge ruling on a matter of law is actually an "undemocratic" act and would be "a tragic mistake."

Colby King trotted out the "Brown v. Board of Education" example and tried doggedly to drag "Who you can marry" back where it belongs -- into the civil rights arena -- and point out that rights are not things that other people get to vote you into or out of: you either have them or you don't.

Hard, sweaty work for Craphammer. Fortunately, in between doing everything short of glaring at his watch, drumming his fingers on the desk and loudly humming "Hello I must Be Going"

to demonstrate his complete disinterest in being there, the professionally narcoleptic Evan Thomas was on-hand to keep Krauthammer's gonads cool and well-moistened.

"Gay marriage is coming...are we going to do it through slow, democratic process or by judicial fiat. I'm for gay marriage, but I'm on Charles' side on this. It's better for the country...," said the straight wealthy White guy from whom no perk of American Democracy has ever been denied.

King tried again, saying that if someone has a right to something, you don't say you have a right to it but you have to wait until we get around to making every sour old fuck in Stone Mountain, Georgia comfy with the idea.

Craphammer would have none of it. And being an imperious prick right down to his constituent molecules, could not help really hauling back and making his overweening contempt for democracy plain by saying the most amazing thing:

Craphammer: It's no more a "right" than abortion is a "right". Rights are in the eye of the beholder and our decisions about them change.

Wow.

Furthermore, the fact that he was spared the ickiness of seeing married queers at the farmer's market or the theater or walking around being gay under his balcony at his weekend retreat at Borktesgaden for the first 220 years of American history carries a lot of weight with the K-Man.

"Why not do it democratically?" sneers the monarchist.

You mean like Bush v. Gore?

King pushes back yet again:

"If civil rights for black people had been put to a vote in 1954, it would have failed in the South."

Here, Krauthammer drops the last veil and utters yet another genuinely amazing lie....

"The reason that was a different case is because Jim Crow deprived African American's of the right to vote. So they had no avenue for them to express themselves."

Got that? Civil rights is ONLY about voting. And once everyone can vote, if the majority votes to strip a minority of any other rights, well tough titties on them I guess. And, more importantly, the question of "Who you can marry" and legacy of Jim Crow have nothing to do with each other.

Evan Thomas bestirred himself from his midsummer nap long enough --

"Brown" upheld a more fundamental right than this decision.

-- to concur on behalf of the bored, White ruling class, and again make it Very Clear that he feels Very Inconvenienced having to sit there and explain the difference between "real" rights and "just for fun" rights to the hired help.


Of course, the great, big issue here is that Krauthammer is just fucking lying.
Lying spectacularly.
And on PBS no less!

And being a smart person, I am forced to assume he is lying deliberately, given that the single most famous marriage discrimination case in American history was all about race. Race and segregation and the putrid White Male Privilege perversion of Christianity that for centuries Southern bigots have rabidly insisted was actually the Will of Almighty God and therefore must needs be the Law of the Land.

Surely Krauthammer knows this, just as he surely must know that this most famous of marriage rights cases had to be decided by the courts precisely because the popular law it overturned was based on Virginia's depraved inversion of real Christianity.

Precisely because the Dregs of Dixie were every bit as horrified at the thought of blacks and whites marrying

as today's Christopaths are at the thought of two men or two women tying the knot.

Horror of Teh Gay has always stood shoulder to hairy, Neanderthal shoulder with horror of race-mixing and miscegenation in the filthy little hearts of bigots everywhere.

Don't believe me?Well, just go ask the Ku Klux Klan's ladies axillary (Actual Motto: "Fighting for White Rights for over 140 Years" -- Possible Alternate Motto: "Keeping Charles Krauthammer safe from being creeped out by the antics of uppity Mud People for 140 years even though he is a Jew and all"-- and, no, I am not going to provide a link to the Klan) for whom Homosexuality and Race Mixing are both held to be equal abominations against their monstrous bastardization of the teachings of Jesus, the specifics of which are to be found literally on the same page of their online hatebook:

HOMOSEXUALITY
...
Its extremely clear what our Father in heaven has to say about homosexuals. Other Old Testament verses on the subject can be found in 1 Kings 14:24 and 15:12, II Kings 23:7, Isaiah 3:9 and Jeremiah 23:14. There are more verses in the Bible on this subject, but I think I have made my point. Some say the New Testament does not address homosexuality at all. So, let us read 1 Corinthians 6:9 "No ye not that the unrightous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind." Also in Jude 7, Romans 1:22-32 and 1 Timothy 1:10. By the way, for those that don't know the meaning of the word effeminate it means a man that takes on the characteristics of a woman.

So, as you can see, if any Judeo-Christian minister does not preach against homosexuality, he is a liar and a deceiver. Homosexuality, like a cancer, must be cut out of our society or it will grow until it kills the body, like a cancer. This is not the words of the Klan, this is the word of Yahweh.



RACE MIXING

The Klan has always taken a strong stance against interracial marriage. What most people don't understand is it's against our Heavenly Father's law.

White's have practiced segregation throughout our history for a couple of basic reasons. If White's had never kept themselves separate from the other peoples of the world the White race would be extinct.

Here in America, because of the acceptance of some of our people to intermarry with non-whites we see a future in which Whites will be a minority. When presented with this argument many people say "so what". To the Klan; the survival of our race is important and I find it unbelievable that the Klan is condemned for the simple fact that we want to exist and maintain our racial purity. But, the most important reason we practice racial segregation is it's our Heavenly Fathers' law. The Klan has been told time and time again that there is no scriptures in the Bible to defend our position on the mixing of the races. The Bible is full of instructions for practicing segregation, for example.

Exodus 33:16 "So shall we be separated: I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth."
...

Hell, if the Ladies Who Lynch aren't enough, just ask Tony Perkins, who was invited onto “Face the Nation” because apparently the views of religious fanatics with good hair don't get nearly enough airtime on American teevee.

Fortunately David Boies (American Foundation for Legal Rights) was waiting for him.

And destroyed him (h/t AmericaBlog)



Of course, anyone over the age 35 who was ever going to budge on this issue did so long ago, so the fact that yet another front man for that grotesque cult known as Conservative Fundamentalism has again been publicly exposed as a hollow, hateful fraud will not change a single mind nor touch a single heart on the Right.

Which is a genuine tragedy.


On “Meet the Press”

David Gregory wore the corners off of NBC’s Exclamation Point machine by having Exclusive! White House Energy Adviser Carol Browner on to talk about exactly what Thad Allen said on "Face the Nation", after which, Oompa Loompa Sprayontan Dude

rolled in to lie -- Exclusively! -- about taxes and such.


Thence came Harold Ford, Jr. – Wall Street Blue Dog who has been out of office for years but still has a book to sell – who wished that his Party would capitulate more to Conservatives.

So sad that we suck so bad!

Republican Congressmen and professionally innumerate Talking Points dispenser Mike Pence was very, very sad that the Obama Administration had failed utterly at everything.

So…hey! Let’s cut some taxes!

David Gregory: But…you…don’t pay for anything? How are you running on slashing deficits and still cutting taxes?

Pence: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Jobs!

Ford: This is the only reason my pussy, loser Party might stand a chance. My Dear Close Personal Friend Mike Pence is top-full of top-grade manure.

Gregory: Are you in favor of raising the retirement age for Social Security?

Pence: The Republican have tried So Very Hard to reach out to Barack Obama, but have been spurned – spurned I tells ya! – at every turn.

Reached out with a blowtorch and everyone knows it.

Sitting almost exactly where her husband sat the week before, Mrs. Alan Greenspan tossed a little grenade into Pence’s lap by letting the cat out of the bag that the reason the Debt Commission legislation didn’t pass is that the few Republicans who originally supported it, ran away from it like devils fleeing a Holy Water thunderstorm the minute it looked like it might get real.

Mrs. Alan Greenspan: Republicans are so terrified of their bugfuck nuts base that there is no incentive whatsoever for working together in the House and the Senate.

Pence: The problems with this Administration is not due to the media…or “decisive Republicans” in the Congress! Its because that damned Kenyan Usurper hates America!


Finally, over on “Fox News Sunday” The Big Republican Show, Republican Ted Olson talked very nobly about gay marriage, after which Republican Governor Mitch Daniels talk about many things not gay-marriage-related.

Like why anyone would raise taxes, fer Christ’s Sake! When everyone knows that the only way to tempt risk-taking, Randite hero plutocrats into “investing” and “creating jobs” by dipping into the 200-mile-high mountains of money they have already piled up thanks to decades of tax-cuts…is to give them more fucking tax cuts!

Weird, how when Republican Governor Mitch Daniels is asked to list the “difficult” things that we will need to do to survive as a nation, all he – or any Republican – can ever seem come up with are “solutions” that involve punching soon-to-be-poor-and-disenfranchised Middle Class Americans in the face and further fucking over the already-poor-and-disenfranchised.

It’s almost as though Republicans hate this country and wish it were some other country.

From some other era.


A few channels away, Chris Matthews -- who has been relentlessly and almost-singlehandedly flogging his pet gossip that Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden will swap jobs in 2012 for weeks -- wanted to know if “all this talk” about Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden will swapping jobs in 2012 is “for real”.

In other words, nobody knows a fucking thing, and Tweety is projecting his own masturbatory fantasies onto the blank iPad that this complete absence of information creates. John Heilmann obligingly jumped in to help Matthews work his chubby, so Tweety gave his book a quick pimp in return.

Auto-political asphyxiation at its stickiest; Felt like a fucking peep show.

So, in conclusion, there is nothing to worry about, citizens.

The Status Quo is safe.

The Villager's walled garden of 10,000 establishmentarian verities and enchantments remains protected.

The egos of those darn “independent” voters...

...who want…

…to cut deficits...
…to keep benefits...
…to keep the Bush tax cuts...

..were sufficiently flattered to guarantee...
...that they won't stop buying pudding.
And penis-pills.
And shares in Boeing.
And lizard-based car insurance.

And not a single Dirty Commie Liberal
Was allowed to get anywhere near
Today's Mouse Circus.