... for every cheapjack, hustlebuck Third Party grifter.
So I am moved to wonder if he would be open to throwing a few million in my direction for my very own Third Party effort. Because I have all the buzzwords! I promise all the things! All I lack is a few million in seed money.
It's all here in my 2022 prospectus.
Today We Launch The Tesseract Party!
Don't fall for the Forward hype!
Our Tesseract party rejects the false divisions of all states of matter, energy and politics!
We're not Left.
And we're not Right.
But we're also not Forward.
And not Behind.
Instead, our Tesseract party is fully present in all four dimensions and at all quantum states.
Our party avoids the partisanship of the Left, Right and Forward parties by recognizing that, at the subatomic level, all of us are equal.
And that's where true reform must begin: at the quantum level.
And what quantum level policies and reforms are we proposing to bring Real Change to our broken politics?
This is where we at the Tesseract party are truly revolutionary, because we dare to take a superpositioning approach to all policy and reform development. (h/t Andy Birss@1957AJB)
Our proprietary Tesseractarian development methodology begins by recognizing that all policies and all reforms exist in all possible quantum states simultaneously, and are therefore unknowable and unobservable. And they will remain there, as a cloud of probabilities, until a team of Tesseractarian quantum political experts have poll-tested all of them at at the same time, at which point we anticipate that actual policies and reforms may or may not precipitate out of this cloud of infinite possible outcomes.
Then we send in a second team of Tesseractarian quantum political experts who will test each policy and reform to determine whether or not it can be safely observed by the public!
But our revolutionary Tesseractarian development methodology can't work without you! We need your passion! Your energy! Your unwavering commitment to never taking any position on anything! And most importantly, your money!
We have a variety of sponsorship levels available, from Photon and Gluon to Boson and Higgs-Boson, but all contributions at any level are welcome.
The Tesseract Party: Literally, a new dimension in politics! (h/t Charles Evans @cme7677)
The Tesseract Party: Solving Tomorrow's Problems Yesterday!
Plus: The Tesseract Party has teamed up with the Moebius Party!!
2 comments:
I knew a microbiologist who dealt very pure meth who was sort of obsessed with hypercubes...
-Doug in Sugar Pine
Wow, the Big Tent really is bigger on the inside! Would party members be confused with Whovians?
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