Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Andrew Yang: A Series of Embarrassing Fuck-Ups

Andrew Yang likes to talk.  A lot.  You can find him almost any day at almost any time, flogging the hell out of his Third Party grift on social media.   For example, if only Wyoming had open primaries -- which is one of his Four Word Party's only two "policy" positions -- Liz Cheney coulda shoulda won the Republican primary instead of getting wiped out by a conspiracy mongering lunatic.

The problem? Wyoming already has a functionally open primary system. From Ballotpedia:

Wyoming law stipulates that parties conduct open primaries for congressional and state-level offices. While a voter must be affiliated with a political party in order to participate in its primary election, any voter, regardless of previous partisan affiliation, may change his or her affiliation on the day of the primary.

A fact which has not exactly been kept a closely guarded secret.

I know this.  You know this.  My neighbor who drinks beer and lectures squirrels all day knows this.  And my cats know this. 

And how do we know this?

Because Liz Cheney's entire electoral strategy for months has been to urge Democrats and independents to switch over and vote for her in the primary.  Because for months, from sea to shining sea, every electronic device capable of receiving broadcasted sound or text or emojis has been relaying this information to the public on behalf of Liz Cheney.

So you'd think that maybe, just maybe, the founder of a new political party would at least be peripherally aware of this.  Especially a political party whose magic formula for fixing all of America's political woes was what was actually on the Wyoming ballot last night.  And if he didn't know, you'd think that before shooting off his bazoo in such a public and humiliating way he'd have taken a minute to maybe check in with his fellow party spokesmodels like Whitman and Kinzinger.  

But he didn't.  Because Andrew Yang likes to talk.  A lot.

So what actually happened in Wyoming last night?

Andrew Yang's miracle cure for what ails American politics was put to the test.

And it failed.


Because by a more than 2-to-1 margin,Wyoming voters wanted a conspiracy mongering lunatic.  

Because the problem is not the process.  The problem is the voters.  And that is a hard, stark reality for which buzzword-peddling political grifters have no answer.

Which is why we here at the driftglass blog are excited to announce the launching of the Tesseract party!  

Our party avoids the partisanship of the Left, Right and Forward parties by recognizing that, at the subatomic level, all of us are equal.   And that's where true reform must begin: at the quantum level.  

Read more about this exciting, new venture here!

Ain't no party like a Tesseract party
'Cause a Tesseract party don't stop 
at three dimensions!

1 comment:

Grung_e_Gene said...

I suppose pointing out the Simpsons did Yang's bit back in 1996 is a Faux Pas,

"But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!"

But, like Greens, Yang's Forward Party is designed to help Republicans get elected.

Fortunately, I think enough Americans have grasped at this point the Naderite, Steiniac, 3rd Party baloney isn't a real option.

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