Local Newspaper Forgets How To Spell "Republican"

My local newspaper, the State Journal-Register, is one of GateHouse Media's hundreds of satrapies (look it up) across the country that are slowly being stripped for parts.  And as part of their business model of milking every last nickel out of the place before abandoning its husk and moving on, GateHouse has really cranked up the pandering to the shrinking pool of octogenarian Republican Trump supporters that make up the majority of the paper's subscriber base.

This means publishing letters from the same pool of local wingnut crackpots over and over again.

This means syndicating the likes of Byron "The Irrelevant Fop" York, Marc "The Torture Pimp" Thiessen,  Hugh "The Cyborg Sent From The Future To Destroy America" Hewitt, and Ann "The Bile-Belching Gorgon" Coulter because "balance".

And when the rage and racism of the Right boils over yet again with yet another atrocity so big and public that it can't be ignored, this means breaking out David Brooks' all-purpose playbook and running it line-by-line.

This means using the power inherent in owning a newspaper to simply...

The Amazing Disappearing Republican Party 

...write the entire Republican party...

David Brooks And The Amazing Disappearing Republican Party: Part 1,000

...out of existence.

David Brooks Talks To Siri About His Great Project 

Because where the mainstream, nationally-syndicated Conservative denialists like David Brooks lead, the Conservative denialists in the local media follow.

And so yesterday, my local paper published this official GateHouse Media editorial --

Our View: We are better than this. Aren’t we?

-- in which the word "we" is used 12 times.

You know what words are used zero times?  "Republican" and "Democrat".

Instead, the official GateHouse Media editorial tells me that:

"This country can no longer tolerate the status quo..."

Cool!  But what exactly is protecting the status quo and standing in the way of the demands of "This country"?

The official GateHouse Media editorial tells me that the blame lies with:

"...the current divisive, partisan political climate that stymies meaningful discussion and a search for solutions."  

Great!  But who exactly is causing this "current divisive, partisan political climate"?

The official GateHouse Media editorial tells me that I should be mad at "elected representatives" who  "hide behind soundbites". 

Well fantastic!  Sign me up!

But which "elected representatives" are you talking about?  Surely, as professional journalists, you have the expertise to, y'know, look shit up.    For example, this site -- which is freely available to everyone all the time -- has all the information anyone would ever need to determine which which elected representatives routinely "merely offer prayers without mentioning guns".

Sadly, despite their vast resources and their adamant insistence that we "must hold our officials accountable" , GateHouse Media is desperate to avoid pissing off its shrinking pool of octogenarian Republican subscribers by doing the basic work of reporting the news and informing the public.  Annd so, instead of telling me which elected officials are the problem and which are not, the official GateHouse Media editorial tells me that --

These senseless slaughters should outrage us all, no matter the party we belong to...

-- and --

Far too often, our elected leaders are mute about the president’s attacks...

 -- and --

All of us should demand that our elected representatives find the political will and the courage to find these answers. 

Because kids, it's David Brookses all the way down.

Behold, a Tip Jar!