Bear with me for a minute because I must now repeat myself a little bit. Thank you for your patience.
So there you are, a visitor from a faraway world. Perhaps you're a silicon-based life form from Betelgeuse, or perhaps you're a carbon-based "independent" who is only peripherally aware that the United States has elections and governments and political parties and such. Either way, all of a sudden you're here, and via whatever clever plot device brought you to this place and time, you are just now noticing how gutted every public institution seems to be, and how pissed off everyone is, and how even ESPN is now Crossfire.
"Holy fuck, how did this happen?!" you ask, whether you are a bleary newcomer from a nearby star or from a local La-Z-Boy. "And who the fuck is responsible?" you ask because you are as innocent of American political history as a flatworm is of Fibonacci numbers.
And being (as you now are) suddenly "woke" from a politically-oblivious existence vastly different from mine, you will probably seek out "experts" to answer your questions. Probably you will look for experts who many other seemingly-not-crazy people also listen to. Experts who speak clearly and with confidence, and whose expertise has won them influential positions at a Prominent Teevee Network or a Major Metropolitan Newspaper. Experts who wear serious suits and are treated with deference by those around them and, ideally, who appear to have gone gray in their long years of service to their profession.
Unfortunately, dear traveler, most of those experts are going to lie to you.
Yep.
They will lie right to your face, over and over again. They will lie to you with a clear and confident voice. They will lie to you from their influential positions on teevee or in the newspaper. And they will do this because most of them had a hand in creating this fucked-up world of hobbled and hollowed-out institutions, screaming bigots and ESPN-as-Crossfire that you see all around you.
They do this because if these "experts" ever actually told you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, they would no longer be "experts" and would no longer have their influential positions on teevee or in the newspaper. Those "experts" would be upselling hot apple pies at McDonalds, or greeting you at WalMart or drinking themselves to death under a bridge.
So they won't tell you the truth, no matter how many times or from how many angles you ask them for it. Instead, they will tell you the myths and fairy tales that they and their fellow "experts" and their financial underwriters find most comforting. A woozy, boozy fantasy they all repeat as holy writ because they are all drunk off the same bottle.
It is a dream that they dream from inside their media bubble -- a dream they are all having and are all trying to keep up-and-running despite the fact that it is clearly absurd.
And like a lot of dreams, there's a monster at the end of it.
But in this particular dream only one species of monster is permitted. Only one type of villain. And that villain has to be situated far, far away from these "experts". Because, you see, in reality they are the monsters, and so their singular, overriding concern is that none of the agony and ruin we see all around us ever be pinned on them...or their friends...or their colleagues...or their political party...or their ideological movement. And since much of this really is their fault and the fault of their friends and their colleagues and their political party and their ideological movement, they relentlessly use their influential positions in the media to try to relocate responsibility for our calamities as far away from themselves as possible.
Thus ends my repetition.
So my Betelgeusian friend, today as you zoom past our pretty blue planet to check in on those clever monkeys who landed two very clever monkeys on another world 50 years ago and brought them safely home, take a quick glance at this Op Ed in Most Influential Newspaper In The World to see this scam in full operation.
Thus ends my repetition.
So my Betelgeusian friend, today as you zoom past our pretty blue planet to check in on those clever monkeys who landed two very clever monkeys on another world 50 years ago and brought them safely home, take a quick glance at this Op Ed in Most Influential Newspaper In The World to see this scam in full operation.
In it, Mr. David Brooks -- The Most Ubiquitous Conservative Public Intellectual In America -- makes the case that his Republican Party does not really exist at all.
Instead, Mr. Brooks -- who told his readers as recently as 2014 that his Republican Party was doing just great --
The big Republican accomplishment is that they have detoxified their brand. Four years ago they seemed scary and extreme to a lot of people. They no longer seem that way. The wins in purple states like North Carolina, Iowa and Colorado are clear indications that the party can at least gain a hearing among swing voters. And if the G.O.P. presents a reasonable candidate (and this year’s crop was very good), then Republicans can win anywhere. I think we’ve left the Sarah Palin phase and entered the Tom Cotton phase.
-- David Brooks, November 5, 2014.
-- argues that Donald Trump, the leader of the Republican Party, is somehow completely unrelated to the Republican Party.
In fact, if when you read the article from start to finish (but why would you?) you'll notice that "Republicans" are never mentioned because, in Mr. Brooks' personal theology, the Republican Party not longer exists at all.
In fact, if when you read the article from start to finish (but why would you?) you'll notice that "Republicans" are never mentioned because, in Mr. Brooks' personal theology, the Republican Party not longer exists at all.
Instead, according to Mr. Brooks, the struggle over the future of American is between "Donald Trump" and "America". Which, when you think about it for more than one second, is insane. But Mr. Brooks clearly didn't bother to think about ir for more than one second, which is why, even though Mr. Brooks cites Donald Trump by name eight times, you would never know from reading this column that Donald Trump came to power by running in the Republican primaries and by easily knocking off every Republican opponent. You would never know that he enjoys the overwhelming support of the base of the Republican party, and that virtually every Republican elected official in America has made themselves into political bidet in order to curry favor with the leader of their Republican party.
Instead, Mr. Brooks speaks exclusively of "Trump’s version" of America and "Trump’s American idea". Mr. Brooks tells his readers that "Trump’s national story" is "an alien ideology he’s trying to plant on our soil" . That Trump’s vision is "radically anti-American."
That's on one side of the ledger: Donald Trump as a wholly a unitary super-villain who sprang into existence fully-formed and complete unto himself and has no relationship to any political party at all.
On the other side of the ledger is...Murrica!
And what do we learn about Murrica from Mr. Brooks' column?
We learn that from his vantage point in the Quiet Car on the Acela Corridor Express, Mr. Brooks believes he damn well knows what Murrica is!
The real American idea is not xenophobic, nostalgic or racist; it is pluralistic, future-oriented and universal.
And we learn that Mr. Brooks' interns know how to use The Google to look up Aspirational Quotes by Famous Men:
The Puritans settled this continent with visions ...John Adams declared...As George Santayana put it...Ralph Waldo Emerson lamented...Herman Melville summarized the ethos...The historian Sacvan Bercovitch put it...Or as Langston Hughes wrote...
Yes, you read that right. You have now have lived long enough to see David Fucking Brooks quoting Langston Hughes.
But what you will never, ever learn from this or any other David Brooks column is the true identity of the real villains who hate this country enough to want to see it dead.
Because David Brooks is back in the lifeboat-building business baby!
He and his peers and imitators are once again spinning up the Beltway media bullshit machine in order to absolve themselves...and their friends...and their colleagues...and their political party...and their ideological movement of any responsibility for ruin all around them once the Trump Administration bugsplats on the Windshield of History.
Which is why, if you you ever want to see an honest headline perched above a David Brooks column, you're gonna have to use Photoshop.
Behold, a Tip Jar!
12 comments:
Brilliant. As always.
bugsplats on the Windshield of History - absolutely sublime
I have no facts to back this up, but I "believe" Brooks in his past has wrote in support of Apartheid rule in South Africa. How all those 98% native colored skinned Africans were so better off and treated so well by their white immigrant minority government.
The soft MY Pillow version of racism, KKK, NAZI religious good life rule.
White nationalism is so soft for Brooks to lay his head on at night to sleep like a White supremacist baby.
It is clear, Brooks' entire existence ain the public arena is to sell those soft pillows of comfort.
His employer needs Brooks to ease the norms of law for the entitled.
I don't know for sure. But I believe Brooks said the tax cuts to the wealthy will trickle down and float all boats. Those who do not have a boat will be subjected to the natural survival of the wild kingdom. Either flee to higher ground or drown. No lifeboats for the unworthy and filthy in need.
I am sure Jeffery Epstein used his tax cuts to create jobs, to provide better benefits to his underage girls. Although it seems his money is diverted to lawyers at the moment.
The ills of white supremacy and extreme religious zealotry and Gorsuch is all worth the harm and disruption of peoples lives.
Except Brooks' life and those he pals around with to keep him employed for the cause.
Brooks is mind is eased with his notion the Gorsuch's will shield him and his ilk from the repeals and discarding of civil and human rights laws.
While many others will have their freedom of speech stripped from them. He hold a positive optimistic view. His is special and he will retain them.
After they came and took everyone else. They came for Brooks and no matter how loud he cried out. There was no one left to hear his cries.
* I think Brooks and Nooners were meant for each other. Destiny has for them uniting has not shone upon them.
And who would catch the brides Turd Blossom bouquet.?
I think that the workers (epithet intended) at the NY Slimes all HATE HATE HATE David Fucking Brooks who doesn't work there but gets their money there. If they see him on the street and jump him from behind and mug him they can be sure they can get a half-million dollars he always has on him. It's barely known he carries that much cash at all times unless the word gets around . .
You can tell that even the Never-Trumpers have this aversion of responsibility.
Part of it is PR, marketing, branding, and lawyerese. Never admit culpability to anything. The rules of Omerta hold even for Never Trumpers. They're just mad some Alter Cocker took the place of their glorious leader, JEB!
I think the next Photoshop is going to be Rick Wilson selling Camel Racism cigarettes. "I'd walk a mile...to blame a Democrat!"
So much hate, and this man only wants to prevent another civil war, with more death and destruction, than can be imagined. The Russians or Chinese are pleased. Let him/her who is without sin, throw their rock.
As always , the comments on Brooksie's wet dream are enlightening. Half fawn over this pseudoconservative pseudointelectual's fine limpid prose and half tell him to fuck off, admit the Republicans ARE Trump and Trump IS the Republican Party. (A small sliver wander in to call AOC fascist because...brainjello.)
I think we are related. David Brooks was my great grand father. His daughter, Etta Brooks married Otto Martin. Divorce was served by her father, David Brooks. Stories abound about our Brooks line. All but my father and my mother stayed in the Meadville, PA. I was just getting to know my Martin/Brooks hundreds of relatives. I am the youngest girl of Walter Brooks Martin and Martha Jane Wilson. I have the original divorce decree from Etta Martin divorcing Otto Martin dated 1889.
You look similar to our looks. Anywho, really sorry to be a bug but my dad died last year and he we separated his things between his children. Careless ninnys that my older siblings are, I took all they decided to and that was that. So I said I want it all period. You could have no idea what was thrown on the garbage/Colleen will take piles. I and my dear daddy Walt were 2 of a kind on real human thinking. Bigger than ourselves. Now it's just me.
Will you please ask someone to check? My phone is 530 774-7367.
I thank you in advance in Hope's you will check. I love your work of late anyway. Heard it has changed a bit. Thank you and Sincerely,
Colleen Beth Martin Chico CA
born: Colleen Beth Martin Wilson is my mother's maiden name. There are stories I have learned of just recently about the husband crossed into Canada. The story is quite amazing. Thank you Mr. David Brooks
Brooks and his republican/crimes against humanity beach party bingo lalapalooza is bulldozing what remains of our Democratic Republic into what remains of the oceans on both coasts. And every fucking night on that rotten box continues the line up of use to be's, never trumpster's, burning their uniforms as they runster's, all screaming how its all Fred's spoiled out of tune banjo playing porch swing rich kid's fault. And no real conservative gault's gulch unfettered capitalist libertarian defecation's don't/do matter rich kid with better Billy Buckley hair will surely make it all better than butter / new coke / cheer in a new box, new and improved 1950's conservatjizm. But until then maybe Fred's fraunkensteen's grandchildren will keep it all sqeaky kleen with advice from David Fuckin' Brook about where to get some spare parts for the Yugo...
Whoops that was suppose to be "David Fuckin' Brookz"
Also, Driftglass I hope there is at least a printing press left somewhere in the shambles to document how long and how hard you have been trying to warn the yahoo's about this and its ramifications.
Thanks for your continuing keeping on keeping on.
And, Fuck that fucking fuck of a fucking fuck David fucking Brookz fucker, eh.
Another character assassination job by pro-trumpers. Sad.
I' with Pagan ^
RP
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