Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

“All Your Narrative Are Belong To Me” edition

In which I learn, to my great surprise, that after nine long months, every single fracking Democratic operative (whether I agree with them or not) has mysteriously and simultaneously adopted the Driftglass Recommended Standard Answer to Stoopid Questions:

To wit (from August 2007): I Reject the Premise of Your Question

And at today’s Mouse Circus?

On "Meet the Press" --

Harold Ickes (on what happens if Obama wins): We do not accept the premise of your question.

On FauxNews –

Howard Wolfson (on what happens if Obama wins the delegate race): I reject the premise of your question.

And then...

David Bonior (on what happens if Obama loses the popular vote): I reject the premise of your question

.

On “This Week” --

Terry McAuliffe (on what happens if Obama wins the delegate race): I reject the premise of the question.

So can I haz DNC Credentials and Skyboxes now?

No?

Meh.


On “Fox News Sunday” Howard Wolfson, Clinton campaign adviser and, later, David Bonior, Obama guy.

Wolfson: The Democratic Race is not over. We’re going to continue to argue that we have won the popular vote. That the states we won mattered. Blah Blah Blah electoral college

Wallace: Yeah, but essentially you’re going to keep the process going over two delegate votes?

Wolfson: Key states!

Wallace: Two votes.

Wolfson: Principle!

Wallace: Two votes.

Wolfson: Let’s look at how we’ve done since late February.

Wallace: Yeah, but this started in early January.

Wolfson: Every vote should count. We’re cool with Florida, but Michigan was a travesty.

Wallace: But what happens if Obama wins?

Wolfson: I reject the premise of your question.

Then, Bonior:

Wallace: What if you lose the popular vote? Doesn’t that make every Democrat a terrible hypocrite ‘cause of Al Gore and stuff.

David Bonior: The popular vote is very close; it all depends on whether or not you buy into the fucked up way Clinton Dead Enders selectively exclude inconvenient states where they lost, and include states where we all agreed the vote wouldn’t count.

Wallace: But what if you lose the popular vote?

Bonior: I reject the premise of your question

Boo Ya!


Then, the kerfuffle over the idiotic remarks made by one Father Michael Pfleger.

Stupid ass remarks.

By the way, it is weird than no one on the teevee machine seemed to notice that Father Mike is a priest.

A Catholic priest.

A two-fisted, activist, loud Catholic priest with a long history in Chicago. Who has said and done a whole lot of very controversial things over the years (Including defying Cardinal John Patrick Cody in 1981 to adopt an eight-year-old son; a move over which the cardinal had threatened to fire him.), and has been a pain the in ass (or thorn in the scalp) of three Chicago archbishops in a row.

And yet he continues to thunder from the pulpit at Saint Sabina’s Catholic Church every Sunday?

So…can I assume we may now expect a tsunami of outraged Catholics like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly -- people who sat passively in the pews during decade after decade of one Catholic child-rape and cover up scandal after another -- to finally leave the Holy Mother Church?

Developing...

On “Meet the Press”

Whole nations rose and fell as Punkin Haid Russert auditioned for the job of narrating the “Books on Tape” version of Scott McClellans’s “What Happened” by reading chapter after chapter after chapter of Scott Dog’s midden pile.

Punkin Haid’s sonorous recitations were interrupted intermittently as he strapped Scotty Dog over the barrel and flogged him with a switch of fresh-cut Bob Dole:

…
"There are miserable creatures like you in every administration who don’t have the guts to speak up or quit if there are disagreements with the boss or colleagues. No, your type soaks up the benefits of power, revels in the limelight for years, then quits, and spurred on by greed, cashes in with a scathing critique.

"When the money starts rolling in you should donate it to a worthy cause, something like, 'Biting The Hand That Fed Me.' " Another thought is to weasel your way back into the White House if a Democrat is elected. That would provide a good set up for a second book deal in a few years."

"I have no intention of reading your 'exposé' because if all these awful things were happening, and perhaps some may have been, you should have spoken up publicly like a man, or quit your cushy, high profile job. That would have taken integrity and courage but then you would have had credibility and your complaints could have been aired objectively."

"You're a hot ticket now but don't you, deep down, feel like a total ingrate?"
…

And with Scotty Dog’s own quotes from 2004 where he threw Richard Clarke under the bus for (not actual quotes) “writing some faggy book” and “not resigning like a man if he though everyone was so evil and douchy”:

(OK, here's an "actual quote" from 2004 for you fucking pedants)

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, why, all of a sudden, if he had all these grave concerns, did he not raise these sooner? This is one-and-a-half years after he left the administration. And now, all of a sudden, he's raising these grave concerns that he claims he had. And I think you have to look at some of the facts. One, he is bringing this up in the heat of a presidential campaign. He has written a book and he certainly wants to go out there and promote that book. Certainly let's look at the politics of it. His best buddy is Rand Beers, who is the principal foreign policy advisor to Senator Kerry's campaign. The Kerry campaign went out and immediately put these comments up on their website that Mr. Clarke made.

Later, Russert talked to Harold Ickes, Senator Clinton’s oily little pet ferret.

Russert: Here’s what baffles me: In Michigan, Hillary said in October it would not count for anything. Now you say it counts for everything.

Attempting to distract attention away from his weaselhood, Ickes then sets fire to his hair and runs in circles singing “Oh, Canada”.

driftglass: What baffles me is why pundits keep asking Clinton Dead Enders really, really basic, factual questions like “What is 2 + 2?” and acting shocked when the answer is “A zillion” or “zero’ or “It all depends on what ‘Two’ means” or “Well, in October the answer was ‘4’ and now the answer is…mangos!”

Ickes: Michigan decision violates the bedrock principles of our democracy and our party!

Russert: What principle?

Ickes: That Clintons must always win. Like we’re doing in the popular vote.

Russert: But you’re not winning the popular vote. You’re math is ridiculous. I mean, Michigan wasn’t a real primary.

Ickes: Michigan was a real primary.

Russert: Then why did Senator Clinton say is didn’t count.

Ickes: Bark! BarkBarkBark!

Russert: What?

Ickes: Brrrroooorrrwrrrr.

Russert: What?

Ickes: Boo! Hehehehehe.

Russert: Are you having a seizure?

Ickes: Allow me to translate:

“We’re Clintons, dumbass. Rules Don’t Apply To Clintons!”

We rewrite the metrics of upness and downitude right before your very eyes.

Swear mighty oaths.

Set iron-clad rules.

Then reverse ourselves.

Then re-reverse ourselves.

Delegates are Almighty, except now they aren’t.

Whole states do or do not count depending on whether it’s Double-Secret-Invalidation-Tuesday or not.

The popular vote is all-important, except when we said it wasn’t four months ago, and only as long as you buy our fucked up math.

However there was this:

Russert: So what happens if Barack Obama wins?

Harold Ickes: We do not accept the premise of your question.

So I’ve got that going for me.



On “This Week” Terry McAuliffe repeats -- virtually verbatim -- exactly what Howard Wolfson said on Fox.

McAuliffe: People keep counting us out!

McAuliffe: Hillary Clinton easily beats John McCain. And Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t.

Stephanopoulos: But if Obama hits the magic number of delegates, will you get out of the race.

Terry McAuliffe: I reject the premise of the question.

Then, Howard Dean…

Dean (On sexism): There absolutely has been a lot of sexism in the media. If the comments had been reversed and they had been comments about race, the people who made them would have been fired.

And he's right.

Dean: I think the key to this election will be with the person who wins 49%, not 51%.

Stephanopoulos: So do you think Hillary will step up and campaign for Evil Secret Muslim Guy when he wins?

Dean: I do. Having lost the nomination myself, I understand this; you not only have to say healing things, but you have to campaign for the winner. And I believe that Senator Clinton will work like hell to get Senator Obama elected if she loses. And vice versa. They both value their country. Both are extraordinary people. Both are professionals.

On ”The Chris Matthews Show”

Nuthin'.


And finally, on “Face the Nation” , Ed Rendell informs us that: “Polls show that we’ll lose more Clinton voters if Obama wins than Obama voters if Hillary wins."

Translation: The Democratic Party needs to pander more to this lady.

(h/t Jane Hamsher and Firedoglake)


Because if these last five months has taught us anything, it's that rage, entitlement, victimhood and mad public-school-dropout math skillz are the Little Chocolate Donuts

of the hard core Clinton Dead Enders.