Somewhere Chris Matthews is jerking off like a gibbon on a three-day poppers-and-Viagra tweak, because...
Today was Supah!Hillary!Day!
Yay!
On every single fucking Mouse Circus outlet, there she sat, in front of the same bookcase, wearing the same pearls (Or hematite. God curse the dodgy color control on the Official Castle Driftglass teevee machine.) pushing the same talking points, using the same 37 syllables.
Over and over again.
Somebody has been working on her message discipline.
“Fox News Sunday” was typically vile.
Wallace: Here’s video of your husband bitch-slapping me a year ago. Why are you Clintons so hateful and partisan?
Clinton: We need to move back to the Center.
Wallace: It is all the drugs you do, or the fumes from all the flags-swaddled fetuses you burn that makes you so evil and partisan?
Wallace: Why do you associate with Communists, cannibals and MoveOn?
And then on came Newt Gingrich – Newt Fucking Master Character Assassin Gingrich – and Wallace asks him:
So I asked Hillary about, y’know, what a partisan hag she has always been and she said, like, "Let’s get back to the Center, bitches!" So do you, Oh Kindly Unca Newt, think this is some kinda “New Hillary” deal? Or what?
Noot made some noises like a tree sloth trying to digest six cans of beans and a bag of plastic spoons and then wandered off to discuss such Matters of Vital National Importance as...
...School Prayer!
And English as the Official Language of Jebusland!
Not to worry, wingnuts; I’m sure if you pray over it hard enough in Math class, your superheroes
large
small
and blonde
will be grandfathered into the whole "Speak Murrican you fucking furriners!" mandate.
So having heard her grind out her abridged stump speech once, there was really no reason the hear it again. So I was reasching for the Official Castle Driftglass teevee machine Off Button when the most singular and amazing thing happened.
Turned out whoever was operating the camera on the Chappaqua-end was as bored as I was, napped out and let it run on between her plug-and-play interviews.
So, for example, after the Fox ritual rabid hamster dance was over...
Hillary knocked back a coupla stiff ones and let fly.
And after the “Face the Nation” interview, she relaxed for a few minutes with a few friends and cross examined an aide
over some missing letters.
On “Meet the Press” , she went right after Russert's manhood and his sad stewardship of MTP, knives-out
during the commercial.
After which, Alan Greenspan rose briefly from the grave to explain why
Dubya is an asshat, and why he – Alan!Greenspan! – couldn’t quite manage to stand up and fight for his own allegedly cherished principles and against all the catastrophically stupid, evil things the Bush Regime did while he was in public life and commanded actual power…
…and why, only now, in retirement and with a book to hawk, has he been able to conjure up the nads to say a single fucking discouraging word.
Later, following her turn on “This Week” , she reminded George Stephanopoulos of his long and unusual relationship between himself
his former Liege Lady.
On ”The Chris Matthews Show” -- where there was no actual Hillary -- Tweety had to make do by inviting Noron, John Heilemann, Kathleen Parker and Andrew Sullivan up to his tree fort to tell fart jokes and to ruminate on how stud awesome cool “Rudy v. Hillary” would be
I would imagine it'd look something
like this.
That was the reality. (Well, ok, that was my reality.)
This, on the other hand, is what I suspect was going on
in Tweety’s giant melon (somewhat not work safe.)
14 comments:
I hope the poor guy in the Gorn suit got paid well--you know that thing had to be awesomely hot out there in the Southern California sun! :)
If Kirk really wanted to hurt the Gorn's ears, he could have always just sung to him! ;)
The GIRL! with KALEIDOSCOPE!!! EYES!!
Tweety sure does have the imaginations. Great post Drifty, Garlic Soup for the Brain. xo
So Hilary is either Bette Davis, a drubk Elizabeth Taylor, or Kate Hepburn or James T. Kirk??
FWIW, I think Chertoff is more Dr Caligari than is Greenspan. And I soooooooo totally see that Julianni is a Gorn.
And I wanna know, why do Gorns look like Sleestaks?
Oh and BTW, several folks told Jonathan Swift to link to you this week whilst he's doing the blog round-up at C&L.
oops drunk, damned typos.
Jeez! Hillary 'Bleeding' Clinton!
I guess for 2012/2016 we'll get JEB v. Chelsea for Round 97 of the Bush/Clinton Dynastic Grudge Match.
In the immortal wail of Leonard Rossiter (Reginald Perrin)...............AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Thanks, Drift.
"The Lion in Winter". :o)
I'll bet 20 seconds of THAT movie gives bush a headache and a nosebleed, it's such a brainstrain for him.
"You look fit. War agrees with you."
Katherine was a PISTOL. The whole movie was perfectly cast.
Of "Hillary V. Rudy".
I sure-god hope that Matthews is counting chickens that don't exist.
If John Edwards can come through in Iowa, it will make she and her "triangulating" fuckheads of political wizards sweat.
The longer the primaries run, and run meaningfully, the harder it becomes for her to pull off a republican lite panzer-blitz.
I'm appalled at the support she's getting. She simply cannot be elected. If there's ever been an election in which the repub voters will sit it out and stay home, this is the one. But if Hillary wins the democratic nomination, they will hit the streets like it was 1930 Munich.
The GOP leaders know this. Karl Rove knows it. Even george bush knows it, for Christ's sake.
Why can't the fucking rank and file democrats understand it?
Yo tanbark...the DLC (Democratic Leadership Council) knows it too, THAT'S why they are running her so hard and crazy...they are the republican wing of the democratic party.
Here is a link to learn more about the DLC for those curious among you:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stan-goff/unmasking-the-dlc_b_39287.html
stoopid blogger - you will probably have to copy/paste it. DO IT, it is worthwhile for more to be aware of this inside threat.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stan-goff/unmasking-the-dlc_b_39287.html
Mr. Natural; good stuff.
Why am I not surprised at the DLC's cheek-spread?
For my little 2c, I'm about at the point that if the dems want to commit ritual seppuku by running Hillary for preznit, they can do it without my help. I mean it.
I say again: I admired the woman. She showed a ton of class in dealing with Bill's dick-compulsion to hand the republican's a stick to beat him with.
I was delighted when she won the senate seat.
Now, I wouldn't give her the time of day. It's been horrible; one bush ass-lick after another, and all to absolutely NO purpose.
To practically every american conservative, republican or democrat, she is simply anathema, and she has abandoned her bedrock of support from the progressives whom are her natural constituents, and whom have stuck with she and Bill in the toughest of times.
And she's revealed a streak of unprincipled and STUPID opportunism that is a yard wide.
IMHO, what she's already done and said, is a stab in the back worse than anything the GOP candidates have done. We KNOW they're going to stay in the warpimp mode, but to see Hillary joining them has been nauseating.
We have this going for us: the longer the primaries go on, the more she's going to have to talk about Iraq, and when she does, she sounds remarkably like george bush on many points.
Whether we like Edwards, or Obama, or one of the other democrats, we desperately need for someone to beat her in Iowa, to help derail this mile-wide, inch-deep support she has.
As a Moran, I wanted to thank you for the "Get a Brain, Moran" Pic. Where in goodness sakes did you get that?
Barney Moran
publisher@gratefulweb.infor
Tanbark, I would actually be surprised if the Democrats didn't nominate Hillary since the Dems and ReThugs are just two sides of the same coin: the Party of War
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