Funny, I remember this ad

as if it were yesterday

What I don’t remember is this…

SENATE. RES. 315

To express the sense of the Senate that the AARP deserves the full support of the Senate and strongly condemns personal attacks on the honor and integrity of the AARP and United States senior citizens.

IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES

February 22, 2005

Mr. CORNYN (for himself, Mr. ROBERTS, and Mr. MARTINEZ) submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the United States Senate Special Committee on Aging

RESOLUTION

To express the sense of the Senate that the AARP – America’s leading advocacy group for the rights of Senior Citizens -- deserves the full support of the Senate and strongly condemns personal attacks on their honor and integrity, and that of all United States senior citizens.

Whereas we think seniors r teh awesome;

Whereas American seniors kicked Nazi ass over half the planet and built the Middle Class;

Whereas they also survived the Great Depression, which took some doing, let me tell you;

Whereas they've got Bogart and Bacall. Hemingway. Jimmy Stewart. Sinatra. Muddy Waters. Albert Einstein. Orson Welles. John Steinbeck. George Marshall. Fred Astair. Jesse Owens. Lots of others;

Whereas for more information you should get up off your lazy ass and consult your local library, but let's just say they're not called the Greatest Generation for no reason;

Whereas they go to church way more than you do, never forget your birthday, and'll make you a sammich no matter how late you come home or how drunk you are;

Whereas a recent attack through a advertisement in the American Prospect by the Conservative activist group, USANext, impugns the honor and integrity of the AARP and by extension all United States senior citizens: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That it is the sense of the Senate--

(1) to reaffirm its support for all the men and women of the Greatest Generation, including the 11.5 million members of that Generation who were drafted into the military, the 6.3 million who volunteered, the over 291,000 who perished, and Supreme Allied Commander and President Dwight David Eisenhower, who is a member of that Generation and would probably be an AARP member if he were still alive;

(2) to strongly condemn any effort to attack the honor and integrity of General Eisenhower and all the members of the Greatest Generation who served in the military and who are also card-carrying AARP members; and

(3) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower by the Conservative activist group, USANext.

(4) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext President and CEO Charles Jarvis, who served as deputy under secretary at the Department of Interior during the Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations. Jarvis was also the executive vice president of Focus on the Family.

(5) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext Board Member Craig Shirley, longtime Republican Party public relations powerhouse.

(6) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext Board Member, convicted criminal, liar and Tom DeLay BFF, Jack Abramoff,

(7) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext Board Member James Wootton, president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Institute for Legal Reform where he advocates for tort "reform," a high priority of the drug industry which is increasingly being sued for manufacturing unsafe drugs.

(8) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext Board Member David A. Keene, chairman of the American Conservative Union.

(9) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext Board Member Beau Boulter, a USANext lobbyist, a former GOP congressman from Texas who served in the U.S. House of Representatives from 1985 to 1989.

(10) to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext corporate counsel Curtis Herge, a member of Reagan's Presidential Transition Team. He later held positions as the assistant to the secretary and chief of staff at the Department of the Interior.

(11) and although it breaks our fucking hearts to do it, to specifically repudiate the unwarranted personal attack on General Eisenhower and the Greatest Generation by USANext group national chair and spokesman, Art Linkletter.

(USANext member citations via wiki)