Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Is the dream of Rechargeable Hot Pants...


...finally within our reach?!

NEC’s paper thin, rapid recharge batteries, “ORB”Posted Dec 8, 2005, 5:10 AM ET by Liam McNulty

NEC has debuted some ultra-thin and flexible quick charging batteries named ORB, for Organic Radical Battery. We’re having a hard time deciding what is the coolest part about these; their 0.3mm thickness that allows them to be flexible, or the fact that they can be recharged in about 30 seconds. The organic radical materials inside the battery are in an “electrolyte-permeated gel state,” which is supposedly about halfway between a solid and a liquid.

This helps ions make a smooth move (no, the other one), reducing resistance, allowing the batteries to charge faster. 1 square centimeter will give you about 1 miliwatt hour. That’s not enough to power your laptop, but according to NEC, one recharge of this battery allows an active RFID tag to transmit tens of thousands of signals. NEC plans on further developing the technology so it can one day be used in IC cards, RFID tags, electronic paper, wearable computers, and other such technologies stepping up to the plate in the coming decade.

I’m sure we all remember the early, primitive days of intergalactic exploration. Back when we crowded around our crystal teevee sets, watching the grainy transmissions via the BBC as man first set foot on a world outside of our own Solar System…

Voice Over: This is the planet Algon, fifth world in the system of Aldebaran, the Red Giant in the constellation of Sagittarius. Here an ordinary cup of drinking chocolate costs four million pounds, an immersion heater for the hot-water tank costs over six billion pounds, and a pair of split-crotch panties would be almost unobtainable. A simple rear window de-misting device for an 1100 costs eight thousand million billion pounds and a new element for an electric kettle like this would cost as much as the entire gross national product of the United States of America from 1770 to the year 2000, and even then they wouldn't be able to afford the small fixing ring which attaches it to the kettle.

...
M'Burke: Of course the big question that everyone's asking here is, what about those split-crotch parities? Are they going to be unobtainable throughout the Universe or merely on Algon itself? Professor?

Professor: We must remember that Algon is over 75,000 miles wide. The probes come down to this area here and we're really only getting signals from a radius of only thirty or forty miles around the probe. Split-crotch panties, or indeed any items of what we scientists call, 'Sexy Underwear' or 'Erotic Lingerie' may be much more plentiful on other parts of the planet.

M'Burke: Professor, you were responsible for finding Scanty-Panties and Golden Goddess High-Lift Bras on planets which were never thought able to sustain life, and now that man has discovered a new galaxy do you think we're going to see underwear become even naughtier?

Professor: Oh naughtier and naughtier.

...

And now, thanks to the dual miracles of this battery and NAFTA, the age-old dream of bringing the price of fully-powered naughty undergarments within the range of even the most cash-strapped consumer -- Terran and non-Terran alike – seems finally within our grasp.

Oh Brave New World, that has such panties in it!

16 comments:

PWhit said...

I hope they come with an on off switch.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, that last line...

Priceless.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but can you find a way to make them comfortable?

driftglass said...

pwapvt,
Your gf or bf holds onto the off switch. Would make for a jolly bit of naughty fun teasing I would imagine.

werebear,
Thanks.

gaias-child,
Sometimes one must sacrifice comfort for style.

mac,
mag-locks. with the remote in the hands of your s/o, who smiles and says, "Say please." ;-)

Anonymous said...

The entire entry was priceless. Or at the least, worth several thousand million billion pounds.

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Regards,
Laundry Bag

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