Hello Dickless My Old Friend: Part II -- The Repropheting

Two weeks ago I made a simple prediction about America's Most Ubiquitous Conservative Thought Leader, Mr. David Brooks:

@Karoli @Shoq @nytimes @bluegal @GoAngelo Ha! Actually, I'm expecting him to crank out some semi-pornographic paean to Fiorina.

— driftglass (@Mr_Electrico) September 18, 2015

This was the headline David Brooks column in America's newspaper of record the very next day:

The Marco Rubio-Carly Fiorina Option

Two weeks later, and this is the headline of Mr.  Brooks' column in America's newspaper of record today:

Carly Fiorina: The Marketing Genius

Mr. Brooks remains deeply  impressed by Ms. Fiorina's skills with the most important weapon in the Conservative arsenal:  lying.  

And you can sort of understand why.  

After all, Mr. Brooks' career is just as dependent as Ms. Fiorina's on selling the public one flimsy fraud after another.  But where Brooks protects his fragile bullshit by various acts of poltroonery -- cowering behind his column and his fellow Both Siderist co-conspirators and staying the hell away from any venue where there is even the remotest chance anyone would ever challenge his twaddle -- Fiorina marches right in to the arena, look straight into the camera and lies ferociously and relentlessly   

For someone as fundamentally chickenshit as Brooks, Fiornia's performances are electrifying:

...

Carly Fiorina’s presidential campaign has been built on confrontational moments. With impregnable self-confidence and a fearless intensity, she has out-Trumped Trump and landed the most telling and quotable blows on Hillary Clinton.

In such a giant field of candidates what matters most is the ability to grab the spotlight. The era of YouTube and FaceTime video links has further magnified the power of a candidate who can create significant moments. Fiorina is great at it, perfectly suited to this environment. 

She can go on MSNBC or some other outlet and bludgeon a host with a barrage of forcefully delivered bullet points, which then goes viral...

Of course, now that he is all nekkid and thrilled with a lil' stiffy which hasn't flown at more than half mast since the good old days when Mr, Brooks gleefully hammered the shit out of Dirty Hippies from the safety of Dubya's swaggering codpiece,  Brooks has to pour vinegar on the moment by offering the candidate some of his famously horrible political wisdom.

Predictably, the most obvious piece of soul-saving advice which one would think the author of "The Road to Character" would be giving to a pathological liar like Fiorina -- namely "Stop Fucking Lying!" -- is an area which Mr. Brooks rockets right on past (emphasis added because Mr. Brooks bending himself across seven dimension to avoid stating the simple truth is hilarious):

In contrast to Clinton, Fiorina simply refused to adopt a defensive posture. She ignored the challenges and just hit Planned Parenthood harder. The factual issue sort of got lost in her torrent. She was stylistically indomitable even if she didn’t address the substance of the critique.

Again, this is not hard to understand.  Since Mr. Brooks' career is every bit as dependent on a farrago of fabrication and fairy tales as every other Conservative bunco artist including La Fiorina, Mr, Brooks knows full well that if he and his fellow grifters suddenly start calling each other out on their fidelity to the truth, everybody loses.

Even Nice Guy David.

Instead, Mr. Brooks opts to fuss about Ms. Fiorina's lack of nuts-and-bolts policy proposals to address the problems of the American middle class:

Most tellingly, she made the classic marketer’s error, letting her promises get far out in front of reality...

...

But history teaches that parties invariably nominate government officials. Sooner or later, voters want a candidate rooted in something more than a marketing strategy. They want someone authentically connected to middle-class concerns and with strategies for their specific challenges, like wage stagnation.

This is where I must lay my pencil down and move on to other things, like continuing to hunt for a full-time job in spite of the increasingly depressing odds. Because for the moment I lack the words to adequately express my total fucking awe at the sheer scope and grandeur of Mr. Brooks' mendacity.  Once again Mr. Brooks of the New York Times, PBS, "Meet the Press", TED Talks, The Aspen Institute, Yale University and NPR has walled himself up inside his Whig Happy Place to write about the behavior of an entirely fictional Republican Party which suddenly cares deeply about the concerns of the middle-class and which punishes candidates for letting their promises get far out in front of reality.

Once again, for the purpose of selling one more bullshit fairy tale, Mr. Brooks has simply zapped the entire, inconvenient history of his Republican Party out of existence.

And once again, no one but a handful of disreputable bloggers scraping by in the media badlands is going to say a word about it.