You may have noticed that the media's battalions of Tone Police have begun working themselves into quite a lather over Democrats who have the temerity to speak brutally honestly about their fascist opponents. Because, according to the Tone Police rulebook, Democrats must either win politely and humbly or lose gracefully and humbly.
As for how Republicans behave... that is of no concern to them.
The Tone Police do not care what kind of racist, eliminationist language Republicans use, or how many lies-per-second they spew, or how nakedly they pander to the bigots and imbeciles of the GOP base, or what actual atrocities Republicans actually commit every single fucking day. To the Tone Police—most of whom are former Republicans—that's just who Republicans are. A fact of nature, not a behavior to be policed. Might as well shout at the ocean for being wet as try to drag Republicans off to courtesy class.
The Tone Police believe that cordiality—even clenched-teeth cordiality—is both the highest human virtue and a spiritual state Republicans are psychologically incapable of achieving. And so, according to their rulebook, in every political contest, the burden of remaining civil and soft-spoken falls entirely on Democrats.
No matter how deranged or murderous Republicans get, Dems must take the high road, or turn the other cheek, to take the high cheek, or whatever. Per the Tone Police rulebook, getting sucker-punched is supposed to be our fate. Our purpose. We exist to absorb wingnut abuse, which is why, to them, a Democrat punching back is an unforgivable party foul.
Like the Old Men in Kipling's poem --
We shall lift up the ropes that constrained our youth, to bind on our children’s hands;
We shall call to the waters below the bridges to return and to replenish our lands;
We shall harness (Death’s own pale horses) and scholarly plough the sands.
-- the bleary old veterans with decades of service in the ranks of the Tone Police are rousing themselves once again to do battle with Democrats who use blunt, clear language:
"Jon Ossoff, my advice to him is, if you start calling your political opponents Nazis, maybe it's time to shut up. That's just not what we do here in this country." -- David Brooks, this evening. Remember, Brooks still gets very handsomely rewarded by the fossilized media for saying shit like this
— driftglass (@driftglass.bsky.social) October 9, 2026 at 10:59 PM
Really impeccable timing on Brooks' part, lecturing Democrats on minding our verbal P's and Q's just days before Trump used his storm troopers to raid the home of a political opponent and his favorite race-based scapegoat. From the AP today:
Federal agents searched Democratic U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar’s home on Monday as part of a criminal investigation, according to two people familiar with the matter.
The search was conducted by Homeland Security Investigations agents, said the people, who were not authorized to publicly discuss an ongoing investigation and spoke to The Associated Press on the condition of anonymity. More details about the investigation and its focus were not immediately clear, though Vice President JD Vance last May signaled that the Trump administration would investigate Omar for immigration fraud allegations, which she has denied.
But Tone Policing is not just those for whom --
The Lamp of our Youth will be utterly out, but we shall subsist on the smell of it;
And whatever we do, we shall fold our hands and suck our gums and think well of it.
Yes, we shall be perfectly pleased with our work, and that is the Perfectest Hell of it!
-- are strapping on their rusty swords and waddling into battle.
The proto-Brookses still climbing the steep, shit-thick trail up Pundit Mountain toward legacy-media glory are rushing to establish their own Tone Police bona fides. For example, this idiot who also happens to be Brooks' colleague at The Atlantic:
A Left-Wing Politics Based on Calling People Names
For Jennifer Welch, moving left and reviling Republicans are the keys to victory.
By James Kirchick
Among the many areas of American life democratized by the internet, few have been more transformed than political commentary. Instead of being restricted to an old boys’ club of op-ed writers and Sunday-talk-show guests, punditry is now open to anyone with an internet connection. This shift has created abundant opportunities for once-neglected voices and broadened public discourse beyond a narrow establishment-media consensus. But lowering the barrier to entry has also had its downsides, mainly in the rise of political influencers. Like talk-radio hosts of yore, charismatic social-media commentators are skilled at forming a personal relationship with their listeners. Many of the most successful, however, pay next to zero attention to the details of policy or governance and gain followers mostly by calling the other side names. Consider the case of Jennifer Welch, author of the new book Not Today, Fascists.
A co-host of the left-wing podcast I’ve Had It, Welch commands millions of followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and other platforms. Multiple times a week, she delights her legions of fans by mocking Donald Trump, whom she calls “America’s dumbass dictator,” and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, whom she derides as “Chuckles,” for his insufficiently ardent resistance to the “fascist” GOP. She has called Erika Kirk, the widow of the murdered conservative activist Charlie Kirk, an “absolute grifter,” and the MAGA movement an “anti-family, pro-pedophilia death cult.” Her response to Lindsey Graham’s death was to say, “He liked cock, as we all know.” (No, we don’t. No evidence that the bachelor senator was gay has ever surfaced.)
And that's where the paywall kicked in. Since I'm never going to be fool enough to pay for a publication where so many Neocons and unreconstructed Conservative hacks have found safe harbor, that's all you'll be getting from me today. Although a thoughtful soul has passed along to me that this perfect little Both Siderist turd --
The American left has decided to mimic the right by cocooning itself in its own echo chamber.-- is to be found further down.
See, it's this sort of shit that convinced me to wind down my twenty-year-running Sunday Morning Comin' Down breakdown of the Sunday shows. Because as the GOP moved inexorably towards open, leering racism and fascism, the legacy media kept scuttling further and further to the right to maintain the false equivalence between Republicans and Democrats on which their entire industry is based.
If you're interested, there's more on the history of Tone Policing here: "The Tone Police".
And here: "Meghan McCain and the Triumphant Return of the Tone Police".
And here: "The Hughing and the Crying".
And here: "Today In Both Sides Do It: Advice From The New York Times On The Proper Use Of 'Fuck'".
And here: "On This Week's Exciting Episode of Tone Cop: Matthew Dowd..."
And here: "The Tone Police Never Sleep".
Modesty demands that I stop there, but there are dozens more, but I shall play you out with a little ditty...
The tone policeThey live on cable teeveeThe tone policeThey're paid to shush and decreeThe tone policeThey're coming to denounce meOh no...
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