Snarkeology 101: Three Cheers for Crazy Uncle Liberty

Today we do things in the proper order:  First the set-up, then the punch-line.

The setup:  Which MAGA rally was this recorded at and who said it?

The folks who are getting the free stuff, don't like the folks who are paying for the free stuff, Because the folks who are paying for the free stuff, Can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff, And, The folks who are paying for the free stuff, Want the free stuff to stop.

and the  folks who are getting the free stuff, Want even more free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!

Now...The people who are forcing the people who Pay for the free stuff, Have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff,

That the people who are PAYING for the free stuff, Are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.

So...

the people who are GETTING the free stuff, Have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the free stuff, By the people who are forcing some people to pay for their free stuff, And giving them the free stuff in the first place.

We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are Now more people getting free stuff than paying for the free stuff.

Now understand this. All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded.  The reason?

The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them. The United States officially became a Republic in 1776, 231 years ago. The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff.

We have one chance to change that in XXXX.

Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it.

ELECTION  XXXX IS  COMING

A Nation  of Sheep Breeds a  Government of Wolves!

Borders:  Closed!

Language:  English  only

Culture:  Constitution, and the Bill  of Rights!

Drug  Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before  Welfare!

NO  freebies to:  Non-Citizens!

We the people are  coming

The punch-line:  This was not recorded at a MAGA rally.  

In fact this came over my transom before MAGA existed.  Before Trump was a glimmer in Steve Bannon's eye.  This comes from my archives from September of 2012, and refers to the upcoming 2012 elections.  A full decade ago, during what most recently-former Republicans in the media still rhapsodize as the Good Old Days.  And yet except for a "Where We Go Dumb, We Go All" tag-line and creepy theme music, it is indistinguishable from the deranged venom vomiting out of the mouth of the average Republican voter in 2022.

This is what I wrote about it at the time:

If you're like me (and why wouldn't you be), on any given day you get a whole clutch of THIS IS IMPORTANT FOLKS! (It's always "folks") forwarded to you from Crazy Uncle Liberty.

They are long on BIG FONT and short of "facts", these emails are, and judging by the embedding they have passed through the sweaty hands of many PATRIOTIC AMERICANS who READ THE CONSTITUTION before they reach my in-box, and if you can squint your way past the festoonage of American flags and giant, angry eagles holding assault rifles without laughing, you will be vouchsafed a privileged position from which to observe the screaming, batshit abyss of the wingnut soul (here is one of the tamer examples from my archives)...

Google a chunk of any of these missives and you will invariably find them all over the wingnut blogosphere like diaper rash, cropping up regularly on reliably crazy Conservative bilge-spigots with names like "Red State", "Free Republic", "Patriot Rising", "Barrons" and "The Wall Street Journal".  Then take two minutes to debunk any of these missives and you will get back grumbly complaints about factcheckers all being on the Soros payroll, or the boilerplate Centrist reply of "Libruls are just as bad or worse!" (here is another of the least racist/sweary samples from my archives)...

The point being, these were not the Good Old Days of the GOP that recently-former Republicans pine for.  The base was just as hateful, just as bugfuck and just as racist as the are now, but recently-former Republicans and the compliant mainstream media were more successful at lying about it.  The only thing that changed was that Donald Trump didn't outsource the job of activating the GOP base to professional mercenaries like Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt,  Instead Trump spoke to them directly in the language they had already been groomed to respond to.  

And they loved him for it.

You say you want more?  Well sure.  Because my archives are loaded with this stuff.  From the same September, 2012 post:

DIVORCE  AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: 

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah ,  Michael Moore  and  Rosie O'Donnell . You are, however,  responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and  Hollywood  .

--You can make nice with  Iran  and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain . You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", " Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?   If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John   J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take  Ted Turner , Sean Penn ,  Martin Sheen , Barbara Streisand , &  Jane  Fonda with you.

P.S.S.  And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It !  Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In.

This is why I titled the original post "Three Cheers for Crazy Uncle Liberty".

Because Crazy Uncle Liberty was finally forcing the Party of Lincoln to run the bilious crazy they all secretly worship all the way to the top of flagpole, and then demanding that Willard Romney step into the public square and salute it.

Which is why, if you really want to know what the GOP was like during the Before Time and what led to the rise of Trump, don't ask a Never Trumper.

Because Never Trumpers knew.  They knew and they let it happen.

If you really want to know what the GOP was like during the Before Time and what led to the rise of Trump,  ask the people who have been right about the Right all along and spoke about it openly back when warning that the GOP was rocketing down this road was career suicide.

If you really want to know, ask a Liberal who was there.

I Am The Liberal Media.