America's Biggest Never Trump Podcast Network is Now Pimping Tobacco Products

In what feels a throwback to the heady days when Republican yuppie scum crammed into "Rush Rooms" to listen to Limbaugh rail about affirmative action and Feminazis, the Bulwark's own Charlie Sykes (the former Limbaugh of Wisconsin) is now doing long live-reads for cigars during his Bulwark podcast. 

Why?

Because moneymoneymoney.

First comes the awkward transition from Weighty World Events into the tobacco sales pitch:

Charlie Sykes:  Well let's talk more about this this endgame and the possibilities of how this is going to... how this will resolve and what happens to Vladimir Putin but let's do that after this. 

Then the pitch: 

This is Charlie Sykes and I want to tell you about Famous Smoke Shop.  A good cigar is a reward.  It's a tradition at Famous Smoke Shop. They know all about it.  American-owned and Independent, Famous Smoke Shop is your neighborhood cigar shop, no matter where your neighborhood is.  As a matter of fact Famous Smoke Shop was recently named the Best Place to Buy Cigars Online by both Emphysema Weakly and the Limbaugh Smoked 'Em Into The Grave magazine  Cool Material and Cigar World.

Now in their 83rd year, Famous Smoke Shop continues to offer the authentic cigar shop experience, decades worth of cigar knowledge, a huge selection of premium cigars, and low prices that every cigar enthusiast will love!   Famous Smoke Shop offers a huge selection of over a thousand brands to choose from.  You'll find incredible deals on everyday cigars and highly rated classics including Romeo, Monte Cristo, Ass Stank Cheroots,  Acid, Macanudo Oliva and Fuente, plus every purchase is backed by their 30-day famous freshness guarantee!  

So if you want your cigars fresh and delivered fast it has to be Famous Smoke Shop.

I have to tell you, my wife and I had something that we wanted to celebrate the other night and it seemed perfect to break out some of the cigars I love: the Macanudos.  And we went out to the back porch and I thoroughly enjoyed it as did my wife and our newborn grandbaby who favors the Fun Size Macanudos. 

There's just sort of nothing like a cigar at the end of the day to celebrate.  To celebrate some triumph.  Or to just celebrate life.  Or celebrate spring.

Yes, nothing says "Spring" like four inched of wet, smouldering, stinky, surrogate penis hanging out of your mouth. 

But please continue

So here's an exclusive offer for my listeners.  To save twenty off your purchase of 100 or more go to Famous dash Smoke dot com. That's Famous dash Smoke dot com and use code "Bulwark" at checkout to save twenty off your purchase of 100 or more.  

You'll get your favorite cigars delivered direct from their humidor to yours!That's promo code "Bulwark" for twenty dollars off your purchase at Famous dash Smoke dot com.  Great cigar deals only at Famous dash Smoke dot com and remember to use promo code "Bulwark".

Then comes the awkward transition from the tobacco sales pitch back to Weighty World Events:

Charlie Sykes: Okay we are back perched on the edge of the apocalypse with, uh, Francis Fukiyama who wrote a very optimistic piece back in, uh, early March, uh, predicting that... 

Like most of the stuff Never Trumpers do to separate gullible humans from their cash, this is all perfectly legal and completely immoral, so I suppose it's a small mercy that he didn't trying to flog these Limbaugh-slayers as:

You know what Both Sides of the aisle can agree on?  That nothing says "Christ has Risen" like  jamming a burning cancer leaf-dick into your food hole.  So this Easter, celebrate a Venerable  Resurrection by lighting up a Vegetable Erection.  Promo code:  Bulwark!

 

Burn The Lifeboats!