There's Still Always Work at the Post Office

After decades spent snout-down at the elite end of the Wingnut Welfare trough, Stephen Hayes and Jonah "Liberal Fascism" Goldberg have decided that it was time to skip hand-in-hand down the Fox News gangplank and desert the flagship of the American fascist movement after the companies #1 rainmaker, Tucker Carlson, used his Fox News platform to go all in-on the Right's darkest, most violent paranoid January 6th fantasies.

Two Fox contributors have quit in protest of Tucker Carlson's Jan. 6 special:

Jonah Goldberg and Stephen Hayes have decided they've had enough.

"Totally outrageous. It will lead to violence. Not sure how we can stay."https://t.co/LJ51IOa2DW

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) November 22, 2021

Meanwhile, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has reportedly resorted to shooting icy stares at Carlson in the hallway when Carlson isn't looking and quietly moving him from Wallace's "hand signed" Christmas card list to his "intern-stamped signature" list.

Heroes.  Heroes all.

So it is only fit and proper to ask these two mopes the same question Springfield Lady Reporter asked Krusty the Klown when he announced he was quitting comedy.

Why now?  Why not 20 years ago?

A good question, with a simple answer.  Because they are terrible, terrible people and because Team Evil pays much better.

Next question.

Actually I could say more, but I already did.  Back in 2018 when the Beltway media was once again full of praise for all the "good journalists" over at Rupert Murdoch's sexual predator petting zoo and race panic manufacturing plant.  

From "There's Always Work at the Post Office"

...

So as a permanent media outsider let me make this perfectly clear: if you choose to stay at Fox News in any capacity other than janitorial, don't kid yourself for a minute that you are in any way heir to the legacy of Cronkite or Murrow or Royko or Finley Peter Dunne.

You are not.

You are taking up the mantle of the likes of Michael Steele and David Brooks.  Mark Penn and Juan Williams and Susan Estrich (What?  Did you think we'd forget you, Susan?).  You are hiring yourself out to be a beard -- to be the presentable public face of a depraved institution.

Do you think for a minute that I couldn't increase my income by an order of magnitude if I converted?  If I rent my garments, renounced Saul Alinksy, and all of his works, and all his pomps?  If I took up my pen to crank out the kind of glop they sling at The Federalist?  Or Townhall?  Or Red State?

Shit, I could type it with my toes while binge-watching Lost in Space with the entire F-M section of Roget's tied behind my back and still make it sing, because it's fucking easy.  Mindless.  Plus I actually know my way around a microphone and cameras don't freak me out, so who knows how high up the food chain I could ascend as an Apostate Libtard who has Seen the Light of True Conservatism.  Right now, through dint of grim, batshit persistence, Dinesh D'Souza's net worth is around $4 million dollars.  You think that we at The Professional Left couldn't match that if we joined Team Evil, and without the felony rap and those pesky ankle monitors?  You think that if we set "we gotta work" as our highest virtue and screw the morality of what we do, that we couldn't spend the rest of our days supping comfortably at the Wingnut Welfare trough between Jerome Corsi and Michelle Malkin?

But instead we put out the tip jar and hope for the best. 

Because I'll bag groceries and deliver papers first.  I'll beg in the goddamn street first.  Because working for madmen and monsters who you know damn well are bent on evil purposes -- madmen and monsters whose business model is deliberately destroying the integrity of your chosen profession -- is inexcusable. 

So quit.  Now.  Today.

Because you're being paid in blood money, kid.

And that shit never washes off.

The only question still lingering in the air how long it will take for mighty statues of Jonah Goldberg and Stephen Hayes to be erected over in Never Trumpland declaring them to be Heroes of the Resistance.  

Burn The Lifeboats