Thursday, April 01, 2021

Hero Hound Saves Nation From Cringy Congressman

In the early hours of April 1st, president Joe Biden's quick-thinking German Shepard, Major, saved the nation from near-certain tragedy then he apparently ran down skeevy Florida Republican congressman Matt Gaetz like a wounded gazelle.  

Gaetz, who was on his way to do God-knows what horrible shit, was reported missing by his life-partner Gym Jordan when Gaetz failed to show up for a scheduled "Republicans Planning to do God-Knows What Horrible Shit.  A tearful Jordan told the press, "I just know Matt would never miss a GOP Doing Horrible Shit meeting.  I just know it!"

Although the incident was witnessed by no fewer that 75 passers-by and photographed in detail by tourists visiting the nation's capital, a spokesperson for the police said that they believed that the case "would be better left unsolved."

When reached for comment about Major's actions, president Joe Biden said, "Major is a good dog!  A good, good dog!"

 
#TeamMajor





10 comments:

Li'l Innocent said...

Bravo! Interpretive journalism at its finest!
Very funny, also!

Robt said...

Trump's Door Matt.

Saw a photo of Joe Biden with Champ on one side and Major on his other side and only want to point out.
There are very fine Biden dogs on both sides of him.

I am concerned major and Champ haven't gotten their COOVID 19 shots. Yes, animals can get COVID and if Gaetz is an infected carrier. One nip at Matt's flesh could exposé them.

They have no mask for dogs which they can bite while wearing such a mask. At least no public government acknowledging. They could be classified.

pagan in repose said...

Just another spoiled, entitled, creepy rich kid. Same as George the lessor, trump,
McCain, and the list goes on. There seems to be a similarity between bad job performance, creepy behavior and spoiled rich kids...and the beat goes on.

Just imagine the spoiled rich kids of today's billionaires involved in tomorrows politics...boy howdy that sounds like fun.

dinthebeast said...

How about we put video of Major biting Gaetz on pay-per-view and fund the infrastructure bill...

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Larcana said...

If only...

Nick Jr. said...

Matt Gaetz is an incredibly creepy looking person. He's a skinny guy, he's a young guy, and yet his face looks like an old Reagan mask. Oh and he's such a loathsome douchebag that he absolutely idolizes DONALD J TRUMP!! He idolizes a man who is the brains of Patrick Bateman in the body of Jabba the Hut.

Robt said...

DG this is for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LxC3M-Yngs

We have all had stomach problems the last four year. For the most have survived.

Listen to the Doctor at the link and Blog us in the morning.

e.a.f. said...

that is very good and Major is a very, very good dog. Now if some one would let Major just do his job and be permitted to do his job of protecting the country.

OMG, I loved it. made me laugh and in the middle of Covid a laugh is good.

e.a.f. said...

there are people who would pay to see that and not just in the U.S.A. Of course I'd be concerned about what Major could catch while bitting something as foul as Gaetz, if if Major will be O.K. I'm good with it. Dogs have good instincts about bad people. As they used to say, if the dog didn't like the person your child was dating, try to get them to end the relationship. In this case, if Major doesn't like the politician or secret service person, find them something else to do.

Robt said...

Gives me new meaning to the term, "rescue Dog".

Who is being rescued here. Major rescued by Biden or major is rescuing Biden and us from the perps ?