I must retract and apologize to you all for yesterday's post entitled "The New York Times' David Brooks algorithm returns to its asshole Both Siderist default settings." in which I find fault with Internationally Renowned Black Lives Matter Spokesperson and Leader, the Reverend Doctor David Luther Brooks, Jr. for using his Friday New York Times column to righteously scold Liberal teacher's unions and BLM activists for not being willing to play COVID Russian roulette with the lives of black and brown children ... and their ... friends and ... and their families ... and their teachers ... by packing the kids back into classrooms now!now!now!
This clearly violates the Sokovia Accords New Rules of our politics in at least two different ways.
First, I was completely out of line using my tiny blog to remind my readers that the only reason Reverend Doctor David Luther Brooks, Jr. has a column in The New York Times in the first is because he was "gifted [it] decades ago for his [checks notes] unstinting support of the Iraq War and his praising-without-ceasing of George W. Bush's military and economic genius".
Clearly these things happened during the Before Time and under the terms of our New Rules we are no longer allowed to reference any of the monstrous transgressions that may or may not have been committed by our Never Trump allies during the Before Time.
So I'm sorry about that, but truly my second offense was even worse. You see, while summoning up memories of the Before Time violates the specific letter of the New Rules, criticizing one of our Never Trump allies in any way at all violates the whole spirit of the thing. All hands on deck! The enemy of my enemy is my assignment editor! Shut yer hole, driftglass, or you'll ruin everything! And so forth!
The reason I know these things is because I've had these New Rules verbally caned into my ass so many times over the past four years by my Liberal allies that I can recite them in my sleep . And yet I knowingly and willfully violated them yesterday when I referred to Reverend Doctor David Luther Brooks, Jr. as a "beloved house-pet of the Sulzberger family" and a "morally bankrupt charlatan".
This was a violation of the New Rules so grave that I can offer no defense. I can only hope that when our Never Trump allies rewrite the New Rules again in, say, 18 months, so that this period of our history if officially rewritten, my shameful words about Reverend Doctor David Luther Brooks, Jr. will be among the detritus of the era that's bulldozed down the New Memory Hole. Which I have every confidence is under constriction even now.
3 comments:
and let that be a lesson to ya
It sounds like the bright epiphany light that beamed down from the sky on you over this.
Is exactly the same as the Giant Jewish Laser in space that shines down on California forests and starts those fires. I mean if QANON says so. Who is David Brooks to deny it true.
Because Both republicans and QANON do it.
As Little Johnny told his mother when she went down to the jail to get her son.
Little Johnny said all the other kids are doing it so why isn't it OK for me, when I do it?
Just know DG, You cannot use the Both sides excuse" when you are the only sides apologizing.
Over here in the UK, we have a wonderful magazine called Private Eye (one of the last remaining bastions of deep investigative journalism that is a great guide to the stories that will be all over the news in about six months time when everyone else catches up.)
Anyway, they also do fabulous topical joke stuff. One of their running gags is the APOLOGY column which always has three paragraphs:
Para One: In the last few years, we, like many other newspapers, may have given the impression that we thought... (e.g. "that President Trump was 'an outstanding democratic leader'" etc.)
Para Two: "In the last few days we have now realised that... (e.g. "the Trump defenders are a bunch of nutters and armed criminals" etc.)
Para Three: "We would like to apologise for any confusion that our earlier coverage may have inadvertently caused and assure them that this will not happen again until... (e.g. "Trump decides to run again in 2024.")
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