Monday, July 15, 2019

The Ex Men


To hear Never Trumper talk about themselves, you would think they were creatures possessed of an entire suite of staggering mutant powers.  For example, pictured above is Never Trumper Tom Nichols plugged into the Amazing Never Trumper GOP Cerebro machine.

According to the brochure, the Amazing Never Trumper GOP Cerebro machine is capable of putting every Never Trumper into instant, psychic contact with every Republican anywhere on Earth.  This is what allows Never Trumper to collect a steady income from the Beltway media speaking with absolute, sweeping authority about the state of mind of the Republican Party in Murrica.

The Amazing Never Trumper GOP Cerebro machine also gives Never Trumpers the power to know with fine-grained precision the subtle gradations in the minds of each individual Republican and Independent.  For example, they know with perfect telepathic certainty which Republicans are "Trump supporters", and which Republicans and Independents are merely "Trump voters".

They also claim to know to an astonishing degree of accuracy which Republicans and Independents are teetering on the fence, and the individual reasons why each fence-straddler is unable to choose between the Party of Affordable Health Care and the Party of Racist, Neofascist Baby-Cagers.  And based on this unassailably definitive inside knowledge of the deepest thoughts and feelings of each individual Republican and Independent on Earth, every Never Trumper is positively brimming with stern strategic directives for us poor, stupid Dems who are Doing It All Wrong!

And because of their unique, mutant telepathic insights, the stern directives from any Never Trumper are always identical to the stern directives from every other Never Trumper:
But for all their claims of a nearly-omnipotent electoral wizardry so God damn almighty that we Democrats should just shut the fuck up and do what we're told --
--  you would be forgiven for wondering out loud why the hell Tom Nichols, Rick Wilson, Bill Kristol and the rest of the Twelve Angry Kibitzers haven't decamped themselves to Massachusetts to pour all their energies into the campaign of the only person running against Trump in the Republican party primaries?

After all, Bill Weld doesn't need reverse-engineering.  He already checks pretty much every one of the Never Trumper's ideological boxes.  And he's a decent man. And he's running an actual campaign that could use all the help in can get.  So if the Never Trumpers are really capable of divining the deepest desires of some vast-but-invisible-but-apparently-decisive army of "Real" Republicans, Sensible Centrists and Noble Independents, why aren't they putting their towering electoral genius to work drawing them into the Party of Lincoln and destroying Donald Trump before the GOP hands him the nomination again?

Jesus, just imagine the rewards and accolades that would shower down upon them for bringing down the Trump administration and sweeping Bill Weld to power!  Just imagine how many helpings of steaming, hot crow Libtards like me would have to eat while we watch Bill Weld take the oath of office in January of 2021?

And as an additional bonus, let me remind the Never Trumpers that getting off their asses and flying to Massachusetts to help Bill Weld in his uphill fight carries considerably less risk than, say, going to Mississippi to register black voters in 1964.

But of course the reason that none of this is ever going to happen is because it's all a sham.

History has shown proven beyond any doubt that all Never Trumpers have no special insights into anything and their Amazing Never Trumper GOP Cerebro machine is pure bunkum -- nothing but a couple of dozen soup-can-and-string phones connecting the Never Trumpers to each other.  A circle-jerk device by which they each use their media platforms to confirm each others' bullshit declarations.

A typical example:

And, just for fun, yet another typical example, this time ripped from USA Today's headlines:
Republican: I'm telling Democrats how to beat Trump in 2020. It's Job One so get over it.
We know this for a fact because Never Trumpers have no answer to one, very simple question:  Where there fuck were these staggering mutant powers hiding themselves over the past 40 years as their Party of Atwater, DeLay, Rove, Gingrich, Limbaugh, Ailes, Hannity, O'Reilly, Ryan, Cheney, Issa, Palin, McConnell and on and on and on relentlessly built itself into a shitpile of bigots and imbeciles capable of birthing Donald Trump?

Which isn't to say Never Trumper have no telepathic abilities at all.

Oh no.  Quite the contrary.

They have a truly Brobdingnagian capacity to pretend that the last 30 years never happened.  To pretend that somehow this wasn't their party long before their party went on to nominate and elect the King of the Birthers.


And should you manage to overcome their superhuman ability to deny any responsibility for any of the horrific shit their party has done to become a monster machine capable of producing Donald Trump, and a Republican congress craven and corrupt enough to roll over for Donald Trump, and a reprogrammable meathead Republican base who stand enthusiastically behind Donald Trump...

...that's when their "Fuck You, Both Sides Do It!" superpower automatically kicks in.
And when all else fails, they reveal the most consistent Never Trumper power of all.

The mighty Snowflake Power of blocking people on Twitter for daring to raise these points with them in the public square.


Because no professional media Conservative haver-of-opinions can afford to have their rep damaged by getting publicly slobbersknockered  by some nobody blogger from nowhere.

Because in the end, cowards always run.





Behold, a Tip Jar!



6 comments:

Unknown said...

Brilliant DG.

wibble said...

*holds up lighter*

Robt said...

The never Trumpers seem to be more like politically correct elitist republican s of the conservative religious family value club of alcoholism, promiscuity listening to the forbidden musics of the liberal arts of capitalism destruction. Without condemnations.

Like the AP report that we find out the Bible. The Bible is printed in China and shipped to America for sale. With great profits in sales as the communist China reaps cheap labor profits for God.

They are republicans working to overthrow their true envy. The Godless liberals.

Hey Democrats, Be republican like us because we do not like Trump either.

neglecting, every elected GOP who benefited his or her seat from the racist birtherism of Obama. The same GOP congress that voted for Trump to lift sanctions on the Indicted Russian who attacked our election, because Trump needed to repay the Putin.

Why are the Never Trumpers still voting for the Trump devotees Qanon radicals in congress (the GOP) that not just enables Trump. But are in it to racially and fascism take and control it.
Not once have they derided Paul Ryan to Lindsey Graham. Like these Trumpets aren't part of the harmful problematic GOP puzzle problem.
Do you see or hear Never Trumpers support for Jason Ammash????????

Lit3Bolt said...

First, have a fascist media network spreading propaganda.
Second, have every virtually every billionaire and millionaire in the world on your side.
Third, we get to cheat. You don't.
Fourth, your candidates will be pilloried, while ours get a pass.
Fifth, it's important that the land gets a vote, so Wyoming gets two senators. And California gets two senators. These are the rules.
Sixth, racism, stupidity, and greed help us and hurt you.

So the question really isn't why are Democrats so bad at politics.

The question is, why are Republicans so good?

And the "Never Trumpers" will not register one voter, donate one dollar, or contribute one second of time to help any Democratic candidate. Instead, they have to kneecap Dems and take lazy layups on Trump's awfulness. Because the Dems are "certain" to win in 2020. And come 2020 if Trump is re-elected, they will blame everyone in the universe except themselves.

Hallbowski23 said...

These people want to tell Democrats how to beat Trump in 2020 and yet had a dozen and a half candidates or so who went against him four years ago and they all failed to beat him. It's like the New York Knicks giving the Golden State Warriors tips on how to have a winning team.

Pagan in repose said...

Trump and the rest of the republican party aren't qualified to be toilet flushers in a public rest room, and are still standing around wondering why the place is full of poo poo do do and oh so stinky. But are none the less still voting for the least qualified to push the handle.

My favorite past time these days is giving the local republican/constitutional party show room the middle finger salute every time I drive by. And by the way they do have both names on the building, "republican party" and the "constitutional party". They also have a guy who stands on the sidewalk with a life size cut out of mr. and mrs. trump that says "magna hats for sale inside".