Joe Scarborough Has Come Unstuck In Time

And then, without any warning, Joey went to New York City, and got on an all-morning teevee program devoted to talk. He told about having come unstuck in time. He said, too, that he had been kidnapped by a flying saucer in 1987. The saucer was from the planet Tralfamadore, he said. He was taken to Tralfamadore, where he was displayed naked in a zoo, he said. He was mated there with a former Earthling minor celebrity named Mika Emilie Leonia Brzezinski.

-- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five (slightly altered)

Up until about five minutes ago, Joey Joe Joe Junior Scarborough was as reliable a Republican professional hype-man as could be found outside of Fox News on the public stage.  Mocking Liberals who knew better about Bush than he did as Cheeto-dust-smeared, underwear-clad losers. Slagging Barack Obama for not deploying his Green Lantern powers to magically transform Scarborough's Republican Party from a mob of racist troglodytes and madmen into responsible governing partners.

Then, quite suddenly -- and thanks in no small part to the unlimited free buffet table of publicity Joe Scarborough handed over to his pal Donald Trump --  that Republican mob got exactly the loud, loutish, pig-ignorant, racist, con man president they had spent the last four decades praying for.

And then, quite predictably, the Republicans who had spent their entire adult lives building the Republican monster machine that made Trump possible all came down with the latest virulent strain of Republican Detachment Disorder:

Of course, Republican Detachment Disorder has been a persistent component of Beltway Both Siderism for years, but since the Rise of Trump the condition has gone airborne and is now fully pneumonic and spreading like wildfire among Conservatives who made an entire career out enthusiastically helping the GOP shit the bed over and over again, and then, as Reality closed in, suddenly started pretending that it was all the fault of some other Republican Party waaaaay over there.

This partial list of the afflicted reads like a cable news pundit on-call list.

Former Bush Administration speech writer and persistent Beltway stalactite, Michael Gerson

Former Bush Administration speech writer and persistent Beltway stalagmite, David Frum.

Kathleen Parker.

Joey Joe Joe Junior Scarborough

Bill Kristol and Joey Joe Joe Junior Scarborough

Ramesh Ponnuru

Tucker Carlson, Super Class Warrior Hero Guy

Rush Limbaugh

And of course, David Brooks --

Somehow, in his entire column today, David Brooks doesn't get around to using the word "Republicans" pic.twitter.com/u5XXk9atOp

— The Rude Pundit (@rudepundit) February 26, 2016

-- who may well be the Patient Zero of this calamitous plague.

Well it turns out that, just like many other forms of pestilence, there is always another, wilder mutation of Republican Attachment Disorder waiting just around the corner. 

In this "Billy Pilgrim" strain of the disorder, the afflicted Republican not only becomes unstuck in time -- floating above his own life, randomly popping into and out of years and circumstances in no particular order -- but becomes completely alienated from his own life as he actually lived it.  He spontaneously starts remembers the past as some America-hating, Cheeto-stained Libtard blogger might remember it, with no recollection of his own very active and eager participation in events which he now describes with such disdain.

Warning:  Some viewers might find this video of Mr. Scarborough in the throes of a full-blown Republican Attachment Disorder episode to be shocking and disturbing:

Behold, a Tip Jar!