Thursday, June 30, 2016

Dear Foreign Leader Friend...

My name is Donald J. Trump, Prince of the Great Country of America and I have been requested by the Republican National Campaign Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter of importance to your great country. The Republican National Campaign Company has recently concluded a large number of Primaries which have positioned me to assume my rightful title of King of Great Country of America. The Republican National Campaign Company and I are equally desirous of exporting our prosperous greatness to many other parts and regions of the world, however, because of the illegitimate Kenyan regime blocking our efforts in the Great Country of America currently we are unable to move our greatness to other regions.

Dear one, your assistance is requested as a Foreign Leader Friend to assist the Republican National Campaign Company in moving our greatness to other regions such as yours. If certain funds can be transferred to your name, in an American account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Republican National Campaign Company. In exchange for your accommodating services, the Republican National Campaign Company would agree to allow you to retain up to 10%, or US$4 million of this amount, payable in valuable Trump University certificates which are guaranteed to increase in value during the passage of time!

However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to the Citizens United campaign laws of the Country of America, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Republican National Campaign Company fund, which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria Federal Campaign Commission of America.

Dear one, if you value greatness in your region as I know you must, it will be possible for you to assist us, and we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person at Mar-a-Lago, and the time of your visit I introduce you to very many great and important American officials such as Reince Preibus and Mike Tyson as well as with certain other officials of the Republican National Campaign Company.

Please call me at your earliest convenience at xx-xxx-xxxx. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the illegitimate Kenyan regime will realize that the Central Bank of Nigeria Federal Campaign Commission of America is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it.

Yours truly,

Donald J. Trump, Prince of the Great Country of America

From UPI:

Trump campaign might have broken election law in asking for foreign money

By Shawn Price Updated June 30, 2016 at 3:11 AM

NEW YORK, June 30 (UPI) -- The Donald Trump campaign has been slapped with an Federal Election Commission complaint by nonprofit, nonpartisan group The Campaign Legal Center, for allegedly seeking money from foreign politicians to fund his presidential campaign.

Trump's campaign allegedly sent Icelandic, Scottish, Australian and British politicians fundraising emails asking for donations after the "Brexit" vote took place and as Trump promoted his golf course in Scotland, the complaint contends.

The actions are violations of federal election laws.

"Donald Trump should have known better," said Paul S Ryan, deputy executive director of Campaign Legal Center. "It is a no-brainer that it violates the law to send fundraising emails to members of a foreign government on their official foreign government email accounts, and yet, that's exactly what Trump has done repeatedly."


Jimbo said...

Nice send up. Sometimes the jokes, they just write themselves.

bowtiejack said...

The Nigerian stuff is brilliant.

This latest flap seems to me to be of piece with Trump's general attitude that he's so smart the rules don't apply to him. He's gotten away with a lot for a long time (I believe due primarily to the mentorship of Roy Cohn in how to stiff people). He can't be bothered to pay the tradesmen or check the damn email lists.

It occurs to me though that for all his ranting about Hillary (who has survived a formidable barrage of slings and arrows over the years), he is the one who's probably got skeleton-in-the-closet problems at this point. We shall see what we shall see. Oh, and Cohn was disbarred just before he died of AIDS.

RUKidding said...

I read about this and said elsewhere that TrumpCo probably knew it was illegal to beg money from the damn furriners, but what the heck? Why not try to scrape up some pounds, euros and Aussie dollars, since the rightwing wealthly are documented to be running away from the Trump campaign faster than a speeding bullet, and Trump is rumored to be tapped out.

Will the law apply to Trump, who just broke it? ha ha ha... Trump is white, male and connected (after a fashion), and alleged to be rich. So silly me for expecting the Rule of Law to apply to him.

Trump will lie and obfuscate and throw someone under the bus, and then the media will continue to fawn all over him, while his white supremacist base will bend themselves into pretzels to blame this on unpatriotic liberals, the "liberal" media, the traitorous "Democrat" party and/or crazy liar crooked Hillary.

Walt Mistler said...

Not sure if FEC covers grift.

Paul Wartenberg said...

I'm surprised Trump didn't mention his roommate getting this cool at-home job that pays $32 an hour.

bluicebank said...

So many levels of fail here by the Short Fingered Vulgarian.

1. Targeting mostly Scandinavian countries' politicos, then doubling down with Iceland and Scotland, is NOT where to market your shit.

2. The Nigerian Prince scam peaked some 20 years ago. Even the hayseeds are onto it.

3. If you're going to illegally hit up foreign politicians for clam shells, don't tip your hand by spamming them with multiple emails. It's considered gauche, at best (France wasn't targeted.)

4. If you're going to go that route, at least promise the Icelanders, Swedes, Aussies, Scots, Brits, etc., SOMETHING. The emails didn't promise a million bucks via Western Union. There has to be bait on the end of the hook, or at least a lure. Something with gold leaf.

Robt said...


From: Putin

I personally will purchase 1 Million US dollars worth of shares in this business venture.
Some of my business acquaintances are interested as well, comrade Trump.
Kim Jong Ill wants in.
Assad, The Saudi King, a very anxious Abu Bakr al Bagdadi, i Jinping
And a very excited and possible biggest donor Hassan Rouhani Khomeini.

Would like to meet personally. Have a few great ideas to share.

Your comrade, Putin