Starring Bloody Bill Kristol as "Uncle Bill"
David French as loyal manservant "Mr. French"
In this week's exciting episode, "Doing The French Mistake"...
Having scoured the comment sections of literally dozens of right wing blogs looking for just the right combination of anonymity, unctuousness and crackpottery to fill out the top of his Patriotic Neo Hunker Constitutional Conservative Liberty Freedom Party ticket, Uncle Bill Kristol finally discovers the manservant of his dreams: a humble National Review pot-scrubber and part-time lunatic named David French.
He returns to the ruins of his nearly-abandoned family plantation deep in the wingnut jungle to bring his family the happy news!
Unfortunately the other members of the household have other ideas, leading to hilarious consequences! From The Hill:
Conservatives rebuff Kristol’s third-party pick
A group of prominent conservative activists, including writer and radio host Erick Erickson, aren’t satisfied with Bill Kristol’s suggestion of David French as a third-party candidate and are still looking for another alternative to presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.
The activists are working separately from Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard, who favors French, according to two sources familiar with the discussions.
“We’re not going to be jumping on board with what Kristol is doing,” said a person involved in the discussions. “We learned about this from the media along with everyone else.”
Organizers of the self-described Conservatives Against Trump group said Kristol’s decision to champion French, a conservative writer, constitutional lawyer and decorated Iraq war veteran, took them by surprise, especially because French has a relatively low public profile.
“This is like flipping open the phone book and picking someone on page 325,” the source said.
The group includes Erickson; South Dakota businessman Bob Fischer; Bill Wichterman, a former adviser to President George W. Bush and former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.); conservative columnist Quin Hillyer; and strategist Liz Mair...
Next week... "The Coming of the Conservative Kilkenny Cats"
There once were two cats of Kilkenny
Each thought there was one cat too many
So they fought and they fit
And they scratched and they bit
Till (excepting their nails
And the tips of their tails)
Instead of two cats there weren't any!