Thursday, September 03, 2015

In Days Of Old, When Knights Were Bold...

We rejoin our story as the slow-motion GOP freakout over the !Sudden!Discovery! that the Republican party is full of -- gasp! -- Republicans ...

... continues to dominate the nation's Grand Guignol comedy circuit (for today's example we turn to the Breitbart Collective Farm):
Which is certainly horrifying.  And not funny at all.  And bitterly funny-as-hell.

But let us leave the fog and thunder of America's political media battlefield where everyone is feigning surprise that, under it's tissue-thin veneer of David Brooks respectability, Conservatism is a roiling cesspit of ignorance, racism and crazy...

...and return to a simpler time.  A time before YouTube and Instagram.  Back before your 'umble scrivener was even a blogger -- when I was just a long-winded commenter at the late Steve Gilliard's News Blog.

Steve's comments sections are long-gone now, existing only in the memories of those who found a home there and stomped the jolly fuck out of the trolls that sometimes stumbled through the door (Looking at you, "bloomie".)  But sometimes Steve would haul a comment up from below-decks and turn it into a post, so while all of my comments have turned to digital dust and blown away... thanks to Mr. Gilliard occasionally front-paging my comments, what you see below was saved from the bony fingers of internet entropy.

I am reposting it here because I think from time to time it is vital for us on the Left to to look back and remember just how fucking spot on we have always been about the GOP, and how aggressively we have been slandered and ignored by the Beltway media and by the political elite precisely because we have been right about the Right all along.

From The News Blog in March of 2005:
They are serious

Driftglass posted this in comments and it's too damn funny to stay there.
IMHO it’s as simple as: “Never jump into bed with someone who’s crazier than you are.”

For the Suburban Gated, the non-deranged gunnies and the Tax Cuts Uber Alles Republicans, it’s all jolly good fun having a romp with the Fundies…as long as they keep delivering the 20% margin the GOP must have to win anything and as long as they stay the fuck away from my house and family, its all just good kinky fun…

…until the sun comes up, and you realize that the Electoral Candy you were offered was just bait to get you into the Windowless Fundy Panel Truck. Oops.

And now you’re waaaay out in the country somewhere you don’t recognize without your pants, and you start to figure our that all the Burning Crosses and Swastikas and Apocalyptic Paraphernalia that tricks out the inside of the van isn't tatted-up Goth Chick posturing.

And Randall Terry and Tom DeLay wave to you from the front seat and say, “Mornin’ shug! Get ready; we gonna burn us some ‘a them Chirst Hatin’ Abortionists today.” Or Fags. Or Negros. Or Liberals. Or Ay-rabs. Or Jews. Or, really, Anybody.

And all of the slack-jawed yokels who were so eagerly helpful while you were passing you’re Lovely Tax Cuts are sitting around you giggling…and armed to their snaggled teeth.

And then you hear, “Bring Out The Gimp.” (Which, for my money, should be the Democrats’ Lead Media Message for the next four months.)

Oh. God. You mean these crazy fucks were serious? Like, really, really serious?!

No shit they’re serious, Suburban Weekend Bad-Ass -- and it's not exactly like you weren't given Ample Warning: Now they have your shriveled nuts in a razor-lined C-clamp, they want the very high interest vig on the Electoral Loan they made you to pay for your Optional War and Drunken Safety Net Shredding Good Times.
As I've been saying, the devil wants his due, and he's come to collect.

They thought they could play them forever. I guess forever is today,

 Other than a few of the names, there is absolutely nothing about this post from more than a decade ago from a long-dead blog that needs updating.

Absolutely nothing about the Right which we did not see coming and have been shouting from the rooftops since forever.

And that's a tragedy.


bowtiejack said...

Thanks for posting that, drifty.
That's some gooood writing!

dinthebeast said...

Damn, Driftglass, that would make the Rude Pundit proud.

-Doug in Oakland

osceola said...

I find it annoying as hell that you quote your old posts so much. Now -- for, why, extra cred? -- you quote someone else quoting you.

OK, OK already. You were right. You ARE right. Always and forever.

Kathleen O'Neill said...

Yet again, I kiss the hem of your keyboard. You are truly a gifted writer.

Chan Kobun said...

In days of old when knights were bold
and toilets weren't invented
they'd dig a pit to take a shit
and have to be contented.

John MacCuish said...

The GOP has been loading up on crazies since before Goldwater. They've been chock-a-block critical mass for decades, kept in containment by the media. Trump is that last extra-thin mint squeezed in, and the media can't control the reaction. All that is left to ask now: "Is it fission, or fission fusion?" GOP vaporized. Queue Oppenheimer reciting sanskrit. There maybe some Fascism Fallout, so get out your anodyne pills and Soma up!

Patti Montgomery said...

Dayum, Dood! That's a mighty fine piece you wrote there! Having been raised in Jackson, MS, let me say that you NAILED it. The hippies were right all along, amirite?
Fran has excellent taste in male companionship.

Mister Roboto said...

Whenever I think right-wing Republicans can't get any crazier, SHAZAM, they get crazier. At this point, I am literally waiting for Confederate Flags and Klan-robes to become fully accepted Republican modes of expression with the smiling complicity of our spineless Fourth Estate.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

I think the 4th Estate, and the politicians for that matter, are not so much "spineless" as bought.

However, the effects are identical, so the difference matters little.

"You say toe-MAY-toe, I say toe-MAH-toe..." ^_^

Cirze said...

You rock, as usual.


Mr. Roboto,

Both symbols will be engraved on the new $1,000,000 bill.


Agreed. In spades.