Shuck Todd Versus Monster Zero.
Everyone got their respective rocks off on "Meet the Press" this Sunday. Well, everyone but the American public, but hey, fuck those guys.
Chuck Todd got to pretend to be a journalist by swinging at the air and asking Ted Cruz the same question, literally, six different times:
CHUCK TODD: So let's go to immigration. What do you do with the 11 million?...CHUCK TODD: What do you do with the 11 million people though? Do you have to send 'em back, or do you give them a way to get legal?...CHUCK TODD: I understand that it's divisive. But the-- it's still a problem....CHUCK TODD: That's fine. But explain how you do it?...CHUCK TODD: You still didn't say what you'd do with the 11 million....CHUCK TODD: So anything's on the table? Potentially deportation or not deportation, but anything's on the table for the 11 million
Which, in turn, gave Failgunner Ted Cruz -- who clearly had absolutely no intention whatsoever of answering any questions put to him by Shuck Todd -- a chance to dance around and make his swine base squeal with delight by jabbing slow, leadfoot stumblebum Todd over and over again by first rejecting the premise of the question --
TED CRUZ: Chuck, I don't accept the premise that you have to solve every aspect of this problem all at once...
-- and then tagging anyone who had the temerity of raising the question at all as a Washington insider with a secret, anti-American agenda:
TED CRUZ: ... President Obama and the Democrats focus on that issue because the question you're asking is the most divisive partisan question in this entire debate. And I don't believe President Obama wants to solve this.TED CRUZ: ... And here's the sad truth. A lot of Republicans in the Washington cartel, they're all for amnesty too because from the perspective of the Chamber of Commerce and Wall Street, it's cheap labor.TED CRUZ: ... Stop using the Washington approach of I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. The American people aren't going for it.
Then, apparently having run out of different ways to ask the same, stupid question, Shuck let Cruz ramble on for awhile about what an awesome guy he is. Sure, he used to be a cocky, brilliant kid who was too full of himself...
TED CRUZ: Well, look I discuss the time I spent back in 1999 and 2000 on the Bush campaign. And I was a young man in my twenties. I'd-- I'd enjoyed a lotta success. Almost everything I'd laid my hands to had gone well. And-- and I was far too cocky for my own good...
But then he learned Many Valuable Life Lessons! Just like they talk about in Country and/or Western Music!
TED CRUZ: Well, it's interesting. My wife Heidi thinks that it changed my personality in a very fundamental way. And one of the things I talk about in the book is, you know, a terrific country and western song Some of God'sGreatest Gifts are Unanswered Prayers...
Lloyd George once said of Winston Churchill that "He would make a drum of out of the skin of his own mother in order to sound his own praises." Failgunner Ted has made an entire marching band out of bullshit and ego, and Shuck Todd let him strut it right on through the "Meet the Press" studio and into your living room.
Then, right on the verge of thinking up a seventh way of offering Cruz a chance to breeze past the same question he had already blow off six times...
CHUCK TODD: Senator Cruz, I gotta leave it there. We could've gone another half hour just on foreign policy. So I hope to have you back.TED CRUZ: Excellent.
That cockade on Ted's hat is his championship record as a school debater (an activity where ambitious young people are taught to hone their skills in chicanery, hoodwinking and deception in preparation for careers in the law, politics or sales). Letting him talk about anything involving facts is like watching an experienced side show contortionist do their thing. Yes Virginia, there is a reason he is the senator most disliked by his colleagues and it's not just those dead shark eyes.
OK, that said, I was going over the lineups for the Sunday Blabfests (I'm not fool enough to actually watch them though) and I was struck by the wide spectrum represented from conservative pundits on one end to conservative bootlickers and apparatchiks on the other. It's almost as if everyone got the same memo from Dr. Goebbels Propaganda Ministry. They don't even pretend anymore.
Man. if Chuckie was able to ask that question just one more time, Ted would have blurted out "Fuck the Mexicans, I'm trying to get the bigot vote!" He came so close.
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