The tech guy responsible for constantly tweaking Mitt Romney's voice synthesizer software so that what he is actually thinking --
"Your arboreal growths differ from those on my homeworld of Plutopia."-- comes out of his mouth sounding vaguely human...
"I like the fact that my vehicles were assembled by carbon-based meatbags from this municipal area."
...or the consultant charged with stopping Rick Santorum from coming out publicly in favor of burning witches and heretics on the Washington Mall.
9 comments:
Well, I'd have to go with the guy who advises Santorum. Romney's guy may be poorly paid and occasionally patted on the head. On the other hand, Santorquemada probably makes sure that his poorly paid lackey carries a bible and inspects his pockets for condoms.
It's up to our courageous Republican governors to stop public employees from picking the taxpayers' pockets!
Or not.
What is the correct height for a tree, by the way? And how will a Romney administration enforce it?
Ohhh... witch burning.... I must admit that as a wiccan, I hadn't thought of *that* coming back into political debates. Now, I'm really tempted to submit questions to debates:
"Dear Candidate F*ckwad (or whatever the proper form of address is),
"You have stated many times in the past that your political decisions are strongly informed by your Christian religion, as intended by the Founding Fathers and Framers of the Constitution.
"There is a disturbing and dangerous rise in paganism and occultism in this great and God-blessed country of ours. The publishing industry and liberals of Hollywood are saturating our children's minds with images of zombies, werewolves, vampires, and ultimately witchcraft.
"Given that God Himself has written in His Holy Bible 'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,' would you support the burning of witches on government or private land to return this country to the 'shining city the hill' Christian Constitutional greatness that liberals are trying to destroy?
"Yours in Christ,
Mike.K."
WE MUST GET THAT QUESTION ASKED!!!
Sweet Flying Spaghetti Monster, that would be awesome.
[End part 1 of 2
Mike.K.]
[Begin part 2 of 2
Mike.K.]
And, as an aside, ever notice how Rabbis never seem to support this crap? Well, here's my understanding of this particular line.
"Witch" is a Middle English term from and Old English pagan term for a "Wise Woman" or herbalist. The "herbalist" part is important, but the term was used in the King James Bible to help squash the indigenous religions of Europe. At that time, Christianity was a landowner's religion, and he peasants were just herded into Churches to show how pious the land owner was.
The KJV was based on a particularly bad translation of the Latin Vulgate Bible, I think the Textus Recepticus (but I'm not sure at the moment). The version it was based on was not accepted by the Vatican because of many grammatical errors, as well as "mistranslations" added for political reasions. (Also, "Vulgate" is late Roman Empire colloquially spoken Latin, as opposed to Classical Latin.) The phrase in point here was "you shall not allow a brewer of potions to live". The "brewer of potions" became translated as the Old English "herbalist", or "witch".
Going back to Greek, it was "brewer of poisons". However, between Greek and Latin, "potion" and "poison" could be translated the same.
Go a step back to Hebrew: "You will not allow a poisoner to live."
While one can understand the translation changes in this "game of telephone", the terms "witch" and "poisoner" are very different here. Also, among the Hebrews, "poisoner" here has a very specific understood meaning, "poisoner of wells".
Among may of the Semite societies, wells had a nearly sacred place in society. They were available to everyone. In many areas, people could not be refused water from a well. Also, it was absolutely forbidden to poison a well. This was absolutely forbidden. This was a crime punishable by death.
So, in keeping with this, Jews would never touch a well that was not on their family's property. If they did and people drinking from the well got sick, they could be accused of poisoning the well and be put to death. They would ask a local, or more likely tell a local woman, to get them water.
This is why, in the new testament, there are stories where Jesus is waiting around at a well, and then tells a woman to get him water. Jesus is not doing this because he's keeping women in their subservient place (though that is partially true, a man wouldn't tell another man to do something). He is doing this because he is a good Jew. To any other Jew, he's not reaching into the well so that he can't be accused of being a poisoner, and therefore keeping with Jewish behavioral code.
Or, in what becomes the modern parlance, "Jesus isn't a witch".
Mike.K.
They guy with the shovel in the picture is a Democrat.
They're always cleaning up the Republican's mess.
The guy with the shovel is the entire United States -- always cleaning up after the elephant shits on everything.
BTW I'm glad you have the 'type the two words' security measure for submitting a comment. The Romneytron 3000 optical scan software is not advanced enough to decipher this, so it prevents him from commenting.
Or he's a Repuke, who insists that a donkey made the mess even as the elephant's butt is right in his face.
Considering the huge pile and the apparent frailty of the woman next to the wheel barrel, I'd say the hod carrier has the toughest job. But they both look up to it.
The guys at Mitt and Santorum's campaigns, however, are clearly slacking off. Throw me fifty bucks a line and I'll take the Mittens gig.
Post a Comment