Venerable 1.0 blog
Poised for future 2.0 greatness.
The Age of Aggregation teaches us that while the creation of original daily in-depth essays and artwork can still be a lively diversion for the lone amateur, the important work that lies at the heart of the people-powered revolution --
1) Lightly scanning online material and then,-- requires a level of serious, professional labour that only the bulwarking infrastructure of a professional, 21st Century new-media powerhouse can provide.
2) Posting a brief, sparingly-frosted link to that material
The people-powered revolution must not be allowed to die! And to safeguard the bright flame of our revolution as it lights the way to our glorious future, we here at the driftglass blog realize that its most important elements must be protected and institutionalized.
As such, in order to maintain the very highest level of quality for You The Public, we here at the driftglass blog have retained a Very Prestigious Consulting Firm (the name of which would be instantly Recognizable and Impressive to you if we were at liberty to mention it at this time) which is presently conducting a worldwide,"Ladders"-class executive search for star-performing persons to inhabit the following proposed achievement-based opportunities as they help midwife the vanguard-leading revenue model of our fresh, future-ready, forward-leaning 2.0 enterprise:
Event Planner, Infolution Architect, Instructional Designer, Investor Relations Manager, Market Researcher, Marketing Communications Manager, Marketing Database Manager, Marketing Director, Marketing Manager, Chief Marketing Officer, Media Buyer, Media Co-optition Planner, Media Relations Manager, Media Research Analyst, Media Supervisor, New Business Development Specialist, Client Services Manager, Online Marketing Director, Communications Editor, Online Marketing Manager, Communications Manager/Director, Tizzy Promotions Manager, Communications Specialist, Online Publicist, Consumer Product Manager, Online/Interactive Media Buyer, Copywriter, Online/Interactive Media Planner, Creative Gilgameshers, Cerebral Font Cue Specialist, Direct Marketing Manager, Producer, Product , Production Manager, Hen Teaser, Public Relations Account Coordinator, Public Relations Account Executive, Public Relations Account Supervisor, Committed Skinnerian,, Vice President Search Engine Buccaneer, Search Engine Optimization (SEO) Specialist, Traffic Coordinator, Traffic Manager, User Interface Designer, Web Content Editor, Web Content Manager, Email Marketing Emulsifier, Account Curator, Account Lubrication Compliance Officer, Event Marketing Specialist, Plunder Planner, Plunder Director, Art Director Junior Assistant Plunder Executive, Senior Assistant Plunder Executive, Associate Productivity Verifier, Brand Manager, B-to-B Product Manager, Customer Fulfillment Analyst, Best Practices Ombudspersons, Assignment Editor, Buzz-stalker, Vertical Synergy Integrators, Horizontal Synergy Extragators, and a select number of Market-Making Visioneers.
At the same time, we will also be looking to fill several exciting unpaid intern, tern and extern positions. Yes, you read that right! The success of our initial launch permits us to offer an elite few self-igniting, highly-motivated fun-trepreneurs the chance to put their tomorrow-worthy talents to the test today!
You might be allowed a chance to use your freshly-minted skills to mine the raw content from the hard and secret heart of the internet.
You could be chosen to sift the digital sands for the best-in-class content which our team of championship trend-leaders will refine into the finest SEO-gold using the very latest in artfully-engirding, focus-group-tested language.
Are you ready to be cast in the role of a lifetime!
Prepare to unleash your Best Self in passionate pursuit of an adventure like no other!
Social networking prowess and eager-to-please-at-any-cost attitude a definite plus!
Watch This Space!
24 comments:
Oh, horrors.
If I were only fun enough (and young enough) to be a Driftglass (or even Driftington Post) intern.
Irony reigns.
Kudos, Dg.
You rock highest.
S
meh... need more titties
Suzan,
Many thanks.
Hubris,
Looks like we've found our new HR manager!
All roads lead to Rome. Which if they'd had your skills WOULD have been built in a day.
Your business plan seems flawed. Surely you can reduce the HR needs by finding a program to do the sifting, cram it into a template, randomize a headline and graphic...
Automation, kind sir, is the shiny, happy future.
"...a Very Prestigious Consulting Firm (the name of which would be instantly Recognizable and Impressive to you if we were at liberty to mention it at this time)..."
That is to say, a bottle of the finest 20+ year old Single Malt Scotch that lay hidden from the Castle Wenches.
Rehctaw,
Not to worry; all the important work will be jobbed out to algorithms, Indonesia and Indonesian-algorithms. But to impress the investors we still need meat-suits to bulk out the company masthead.
US Blues,
Givin' away all my secrets.
I’m hanging around for the first wave of firings – some painful and public bloodletting – then immediately cut payroll for everyone by one third, triple the workload, deliberately devalue the stock, sellout, and watch you glide out on a retro-bonus.
Let no one, not even for a Tokyo moment purport that this bold, decisive new strategy is in actuality a crass underhanded scheme to net-leech free content out of the digital kiddie pool like a prankster's chocolate bar with all its nutsy, fudgy goodness intact and merely a hint of chlorine-laced avarice to remind the guileless readers that freedom isn't free.
word verification: dissed
;>)
I will compete by paying twice as much to my employee(s).
"Yes, you read that right! The success of our initial launch permits us to offer an elite few self-igniting, highly-motivated fun-trepreneurs..."
Freaking beautiful, DG...
Anonymous,
I'm holding out for a major motion picture or teevee series based on my adventures.
darkblack,
Freedom's initial value pales once you realize,\ it can be pooled, sliced and sold for trillions in Freedom Default Swaps.
fish,
Money is vulgar; I offer them purpose and prime real estate from which to bask in my reflected glory.
E,
Many thanks
Okay then, I will pay 3X as much as you.
If, rather than enjoying the full opportunities you offer as an unpaid intern, I actually paid you: Would it be possible for me to simultaneously occupy the positions of Cerebral Font Cue Specialist....and Account Lubrication Compliance Officer? Because that sounds kind of kinky!
I'm still holding out for a "new media" mogul with a thick foreign accent. Greek, Russian, Indian, whatever. A swearing Scot will work, too, but a mere clip won't do. Like O'Reilly says, "We'll do it live, dammit!"
Also - where did you find the time to research all those links? ;-)
Account Lubrication Compliance Officer
Dude, I can totally do lubrication!
I understand where you're coming from, and I love reading/hearing your original material.
But we get that driftington joke now, it's time to drop that one, I think. (You do tend to repeat yourself (as any good pol should do.))
The thing is, I happen to be a 47-year friend of Jorn (who coined the term 'weblog' ('I edit the web'.)) Look it up:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorn_Barger
The service he's continued to provide since '97 (also without any compensation) is valuable to me and others: he applies his formidable intellect and good taste to winnow diamonds already out there in the mountains of internet rust. His is still primarily a 'link blog' - the original meaning of the word 'weblog'.
But it's not a superficial skim - he views 30,000 pages a month. He reads very fast, and thoroughly.
I never know what will be there but I know I will be entertained and learn something. Combing the internet can be a true scholarly exercise (and fun at the same time.) It's on the top of my daily reads, as is your blog. (BTW, I was sent to most of the blogs I read (including yours) by Jorn's blog.)
There's a place for that work too.
(BBTW, 'daver' is his nickname for me from the time (6th grade) when we both first got into Lennon's newly-published quirky prose....)
Better picture viewing on this one:
http://robotwisdom.tumblr.com/
Easier to read the articles:
http://www.google.com/reader/shared/14569541748422553908
But to impress the investors we still need meat-suits to bulk out the company masthead.
Meat-suit? Finally! A job perfectly suited for ME.
Being a card-carrying meat-popsicle, the hall should have hipped me to this gig.
So when do I start?
The whole thing seems so..so......synergistic!
Thats it!
Remind me to send more money...soon. Thanks man.
this is why they need to establish a Nobel Prize for blogging
As one of the self-igniting few, I agree that freedom isn't free.
I still think you need to quanticize some diversification to get this thing up and running.
and have you ever that you DG1.0 header looks like Marty Feldman?
digging the paradigm shift..could be on to something here.
gotta app for it?
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