Thursday, June 30, 2016

Trey Saudi

Because wingnuts are congenitally incapable of admitting error, each time another one of their ridiculous lies blows up in their face, rather than providing them with a valuable lesson about not going through life as a brick-stupid chump, it only serves to "prove" that the Very Big Conspiracy To Which Only They Are Privy must go even deeper than even they had originally suspected. 

And so this week, as Benghaaaazi -- the last, great Kenyan Usurper conspiracy to which so many idiots pledged to their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Twitter accounts -- finally gave up the ghost, the Pig People did what the Pig People always do.

From the WaPo:
Benghazi conspiracy theorists turn on Trey Gowdy
Yes indeed. The Day of the Chicken Farmer has come to the Right yet again:
The main Islamist group in Algeria, the GIA, ended up being led by a Mr. Zouabri, a chicken farmer, who killed everyone who disagreed with him. He issued a final communiqué, declaring that the whole of Algerian society should be killed, with the exception of his tiny remaining band of Islamists. They were the only ones who understood the truth.
Back to the WaPo:
A day after the House Benghazi committee released a final report that left Hillary Clinton relatively unscathed, conservative activists — the conspiracy-minded ones who pressured House leaders to appoint the committee in the first place — rounded on Chairman Trey Gowdy for failing to deliver the goods.

“To say I was disappointed would be an understatement,” retired Adm. James “Ace” Lyons complained at a meeting Wednesday afternoon of the Citizens’ Commission on Benghazi, a coalition of far-right ­foreign- policy types. “Chairman Gowdy is not a stenographer. . . . He was there to make findings and conclusions. He had the information. He copped out, which is consistent that we’ve seen with all our congressional leadership.”

Retired Gen. Thomas McInerney agreed that “the American people want to know from a group that spent almost two years on it what the conclusions are. That’s what we pay you for, Mr. Gowdy.”
They determined that the Obama administration “switched sides in what was then called the Global War on Terror” and “benefited this country’s worst enemies.” They wrote that Clinton herself blocked U.S. military forces from attempting a rescue mission, and they attributed the decision to oust Libya’s Moammar Gaddafi in part to financial interests of the Clinton Foundation.
They judged that Obama — one speaker referred to him as “Barack Hussein Soetero Obama” — had “an ideological commitment” to expanding the Muslim Brotherhood. They even gave longtime Clinton confidant Sidney Blumenthal credit for the administration’s “support for the Libyan Muslim Brotherhood-led al Qaeda militias.” In one elaborate theory, they tied those guarding the U.S. facilities in Benghazi both to Blumenthal and to the wife of a former chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.
Gowdy “notably refrained from assigning blame or demanding accountability,” Clare Lopez, of the Center for Security Policy and an adviser to the Ted Cruz presidential campaign, told the gathering. “He also did not draw a connection between the dots.”

“I think he had his reasons — political,” McInerney said. He speculated that congressional leadership had approved “black operations” to run weapons from Benghazi to Islamic State forces in Syria. “That’s the dirty little secret that nobody wants out,” he said.
After decades of manufacturing wilder and more complex delusions to explain away one humiliating failure after another, all that is left on the Right are the intractably stupid, the hard core crazy and those whose fortunes depend on exploiting the intractably stupid and the hard core crazy.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

The Tribe That Rubs Shit In Their Hair

First, a quick refresher on your favorite cult and mine, the Tribe That Rubs Shit In Their Hair:
Longtime readers know that "The Tribe That Rubs Shit In Their Hair" is my shorthand for inbred Conservative meatsticks who have wallowed in wingnut Hate Radio racist dung and Fox News Liberal Conspiracy claptrap for so long that is has become the quotidian argot of their wretched lives.  It is their tavern-talk -- their worst, paranoid delusions, externalized, validated, tarted up as The Unvarnished Truth and then regurgitated back to them by ghouls and treason-mongers like Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly... which are, in turn, passed around again like so many fish stories, getting bigger and wilder and truthier with each iteration.    It is the shit they eagerly rub in their hair -- the shit which, year after year, they sculpt into ever more elaborate pompadours because everyone else in their dingy, lightless corner of Universe is doing it and they lost their sense of smell 40 years ago.

They preen over each other. They are happy in each other's company. They praise each other on the little, individual touches with which they have customized their Shitheap Toupees -- an extra layer of Benghaaaazi, perhaps, appliqued over something something the New Black Panther Party because ACORN!.

And all is right with the world...right up until they leave the cocoon of their Wingnut Pig Sty and step into the normal world, where they are Shocked!Shocked! that ordinary people flee from them in horror.
So why do they say and do shit like this, loud and proud and in public?


Because among the Pig People, this is the height of wit.  To their tiny, debased brains, this is Oscar Wilde-level drollery.  This is their Algonquin Fucking Round Table.

Wayback Wednesday: Globalization

Back in the late 1990s while Tom Friedman was profiting hugely from a globalization boner he got while  (no kidding) --
...eating a sushi box lunch on a Japanese bullet train after visiting a Lexus factory and reading an article about conflict in the Middle East.
-- and David Brooks was braying about how the productivity of the American worker had turned the American economy into an indestructible prosperity machine capable of indefinitely sustaining any level of tax cutting folly --
Yes, There Is a New Economy
Thanks to once-in-a lifetime productivity gains, Bush's plans are easily affordable
MAR 19, 2001

...even if today's productivity improvements are only on the scale of, say, the improvements our economy saw after World War II, we may be in for a long and sunny ride. There is a rough historical pattern here. A new technology is invented. It takes a long time before people figure out how to use it. The electric motor was invented in the 1880s, but it didn't transform factories until the 1920s, economist Paul David has noted. Once the technology is fully deployed, however, there are decades of positive results. Daniel Sichel of the Federal Reserve points to previous technology-driven surges that lasted 10 and 25 years. That suggests we may still be near the beginning of this particular period of bounty.

If we are, an occasional period of slower growth or even a recession may occur, but the U.S. economy is fundamentally strong, and both laymen and legislators have good reasons to believe it will remain strong for many years. Industrial productivity is surging. Americans are not only the hardest working people on earth (the average American works about 10 weeks a year more than the average European) but also the most productive workers -- by far. If you measure value added per hour worked, Americans do about 20 percent better than Germans and the French, and 40 percent better than the Japanese.

In other words, if you wade through the economic literature, it's hard not to agree with the Cleveland Fed's Jerry Jordan: We are living at a once-in-a-generation moment of economic opportunity. As productivity grows, the economy will grow. As the economy grows, revenues will grow, maybe beyond what the CBO projects. The real question about the Bush tax cuts, then, is not, Can we afford them? The real question is, Why are they so small?
-- one dirty hippie named Richard Sennett (about whom I have written once or twice) committed an unmitigated act of actual journalism by venturing to the Magic Mountain in Davos where the lords and ladies of capitalism had gathered and reported back on what they had in store for the rest of us.

His account from twenty years ago reads like it could have been ripped from pages of yesterday's New York Times. Here are his conclusions:
The dizzy life of Davos man

Every year, on a magic Alpine mountain, the monarchs of capitalism assemble their courtiers and meet to plot all our futures. Is the world safe in their hands? Richard Sennett thinks not

Richard Sennett Saturday 10 October 1998

Yet I had an epiphany of sorts in Davos, listening to the rulers of the flexible realm. "We" is also a dangerous pronoun to them. They dwell comfortably in entrepreneurial disorder, but fear organised confrontation. They of course fear the resurgence of unions, but become acutely and personally uncomfortable, fidgeting or breaking eye contact or retreating into taking notes, if forced to discuss the people who, in their jargon, are "left behind." They know that the great majority of those who toil in the flexible regime are left behind, and of course they regret it. But the flexibility they celebrate does not give, it cannot give, any guidance for the conduct of an ordinary life. The new masters have rejected careers in the old English sense of the word, as pathways along which people can travel; durable and sustained paths of action are foreign territories.

It therefore seemed to me, as I wandered in and out of the conference halls, weaved through the tangle of limousines and police on the mountainous village streets, that this regime might at least lose its current hold over the imaginations and sentiments of those down below. I have learned from my family's bitter radical past; if change occurs it happens on the ground, between persons speaking out of inner need, rather than through mass uprisings. What political programmes follow from those inner needs, I simply don't know. But I do know a regime which provides human beings no deep reasons to care about one another cannot long preserve its legitimacy.
Once again, the dirty hippies were sounding the alarm bell in the night about dangerous forces that were being unleashed for the benefit a tiny, privileged minority at the expense of the rest of us.

Once again, none of the Very Serious People wanted to hear the roar of the avalanche until it was at their door.

As for Friedman and Brooks, I wonder whatever happened to those guys?

Laughed out of the business, one would assume.  

Solving That Catch-Up Problem

Once again let me state for the record that I am delighted whenever one of America's professional, respectable news/teevee/movie review johnnies catches up with where Liberals have been for decades:
America Has a Republican Problem — and the Media Is Partly to Blame

Donald Trump is a distraction from the fact that the mainstream media has pretended the GOP is a normal party with values just to the right. Now the country is paying the price.

BY NEAL GABLER | JUNE 22, 2016...
Let me also state -- once again and for the record -- that the pariah-hood that went along with being right about such things back when it was virtual career suicide to say such things out loud was not so delightful.

Honestly, I would gladly doff my pseudonymous colors tomorrow if I thought there was a chance of doing what I do here under a byline and at a living wage.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Greatest Concern Troll Headline Of 2016

From the Washington Post:
House Democrats need to remember causing chaos isn’t a wise course

By Newt Gingrich June 28 at 1:47 PM

Stupid On TV

For the record, the most "Oh fuck, I just give up" sentence I heard in the last week was spoken aloud by John Dickerson, who was appointed moderator of "Face the Nation" once Bob Schieffer quit the Great Game to become an undercover detective on the hod rod circuit.

Lets burn rubber baby!

See if you can spot the point where my patience ran dry:
DICKERSON: Susan, haven't we known, though, that voters are angry and upset for a while? I mean when we -- I -- I -- because what I'm trying to figure out is -- I mean if you covered the Tea Party movement, you -- you knew that people were unhappy...
By continuing to deliberately conflate "unhappy people" and "angry voters" with the "Tea Party movement" media featherweights like Dickerson continue to do the work of the radical Right by letting them hide in plain sight.

See, There. Is. No. Tea. Party.

There never was.

There was only ever a rebranding scam by millions of unhinged imbeciles who did not want to be held accountable for backing the worst President in American history to the hilt for eight, disastrous year. Instead, they wanted to get a head start on hating Barack Obama -- whose mere existence had driven them exponentially more unhinged than they already were -- with the heat of 1,000 suns without a lot of tricky questions like "How come you suddenly give a shit about deficits? " and "Remember about 10 minutes ago when the white Christian Conservative idiot was president and you averred loudly and unequivocally that saying mean things about a president during these parlous times was tantamount to treason?"

So here we are in 2016 when everybody -- and I mean everybody -- knows full well that the Tea Party was just another Republican responsibility-deflection scam.  And yet the irresistible, lemming-like compulsion to continue repeating the lie is still so strong -- so deeply rooted in the Beltway's corrupt narrative -- that they simply cannot stop themselves.

Oddly enough, the most "Marie Antoinette" sentence I've heard in the last week was also spoken aloud on the aforementioned "Face the Nation" by famed Beltway prophetess and Modern Drunkard Magazine's "It Girl" of 1985, Peggy Noonan, And here it is.
NOONAN: All this is true, but you know what was interesting in Anthony's polling? It was that in each of the states he looked at, the battleground states, it was fairly close, but also Trump was holding on to Republicans. He may be losing Republicans in Washington. He may be losing Republicans in media land, but he's holding on to Republicans in Colorado and various states that's so interesting to me. It's as if they're looking at all of us and saying, I don't care.
John Dickerson, professional corporate news moderator, loyally beating one of the Beltway's deadest horses because no one told him to stop.

Peggy Noonan, professional Republican pundit, giddily admitting in front of three million people that she has never had the slightest fucking clue what was really going on down on the factory floor of the Republican party.

David Brooks Meets Mr. Brown Shoes

Hey there Mr., uh, Brown Shoes! How bout that local sports team eh?

Now that he has lived among the natives for a minute, Mr. Brooks can once again bring his tone of Sweeping Authority to the problems of the grubby working class:
Anybody who spends time in the working-class parts of America (and, one presumes, Britain) notices the contagions of drug addiction and suicide, and the feelings of anomie, cynicism, pessimism and resentment.
Sure.  Anybody.  Literally anybody could do that by spending time among the wee folk of the shire. Or by, say, picking up a newspaper anywhere in America and skimming it lightly.  But let us get back to Mr. Brooks' tone of Sweeping Authority.  And,of course, by "Sweeping Authority" we mean "Hacking together a fast and dirty book report of someone else's work":
We all have a sense of what that working-class honor code was, but if you want a refresher, I recommend J.D. Vance’s new book “Hillbilly Elegy.” Vance’s family is from Kentucky and Ohio, and his description of the culture he grew up in is essential reading for this moment in history...
Mr. Brooks goes on to rhapsodize second-hand about the Noble Poor who lived Far Away in the Days of Yore.
He describes a culture of intense group loyalty...

It’s also a culture that values physical toughness...
Mr. Brooks then injects his opinion about those silly, out-of-touch Progressives who don't understand 'bout guns an' life down t' the mines like David Brooks does:
It’s a culture that celebrates people who are willing to fight to defend their honor. This is something that progressives never get about gun control. They see a debate about mass murder, but for many people guns are about a family’s ability to stand up for itself in a dangerous world.
Hahahaha!  Stupid Progressives!  Oh, by the way, here is Mr. David Brooks on the teevee less than a year ago:
DAVID BROOKS: Well, I’m for doing all the gun control you can think of, the gun show loophole, the background checks, assault weapons ban. And so I’m for it. I think, if you increase the number of filters between the buyer or shooter and the weapon, you might do some good...
So there's that.

But the one thing Mr. David Brooks can state with Sweeping Authority and from Personal Experience is that the wee shire folks love, love, love them some sport!  Why, it's practically all they talk about, presumably as they sit around the Applebee's salad bar (from Crooks & Liars in 2008) --
Memo To David Brooks: Applebee's Doesn't Have A Salad Bar
By John Amato

In an earlier post, C&L and many other sites caught David Brooks say this:
DAVID BROOKS, “NEW YORK TIMES: Obama‘s problem is he doesn‘t seem like a guy who can go into an Applebee‘s salad bar and people think he fits in naturally there. He has to change to be more like that Applebee‘s guy and as he‘s done that he‘s become much more transactional. Much more, I‘m going to deliver this and this and this to you on policy.
C&Ler Mitzi left this in the comment section:
I called my Applebee’s today to make sure I was correct and they do not have a salad bar. Just goes to show how much these people who make these comments have no idea how “regular people” live their lives.
I called an Applebee's also and they told me that none of their restaurants have a salad bar. David, sometimes the jokes write themselves. What an idiot.
-- sharing wondrous tales about that time the Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings came to town.

See, Mr. Brooks has always been America's leading expert on the likes and dislikes of the Imaginary Ordinary Folks and, as long as there are a sufficient number of rich, feeble-minded shut-ins who want to hear fairy tales about America as the wish it to be, he always will be.

And if Mr. Brooks knows one thing about the wee shire folk, it is that their love of sport is unique and transcendent in a way the rest of us dazzling urbanites just would not understand.
It’s also a culture with a lot of collective pride. In my travels, you can’t go five minutes without having a conversation about a local sports team. Sports has become the binding religion, offering identity, value, and solidarity.
So please, no one mention to Mr. Brooks (who is an a very delicate state right now) that members of this fierce and closed-off tribe of proud, sport-loving hill people that he just now discovered include the 40 million Americans who filled out NCAA brackets last year, Spike Lee, the New Batman, the Old JokerBill Murray -- 
Bill Murray would rather see the Cubs win a championship than Xavier

Bill Murray's devotion to the Cubs runs so deep that he's willing to put the team before his family.

When Esquire magazine asked Murray to choose between Xavier University -- where his son Luke is an assistant men's basketball coach -- winning the national championship or the Cubs winning the World Series again, Murray offered a simple answer.

"Well, I have several sons, but I only have one ball club," said Murray, who grew up in Wilmette.
-- and the President of the United States:
Then comes the inevitable blaming of Both Sides:
From 1945 to 1995, conservative and liberal elites shared variations of the same vision of the future. Liberals emphasized multilateral institutions and conservatives emphasized free trade. Either way, the future would be global, integrated and multiethnic.

But the elites pushed too hard, and now history is moving in the opposite direction...
David Fucking Brooks skipping right over the Southern Strategy, the Rise of Reagan, Hate Radio, Fox News and Newt Gingrich so that he can get on with the important business of clucking his tongue at the arrogance those god damn elites is the funniest thing I have read in a week.

Maybe two weeks.

You want to figure out what has gone wrong with this country, Mr. Brooks?  Start with the fact that one of our two major political parties -- your party, Mr. Brooks -- is completely fucked in the head. And it is completely fucked in the head because the elites of your party, Mr. Brooks, built their political fortunes and media empires by feeding a mob of angry, paranoid, intractably ignorant bigots a steady diet of praise, validation, false promises and wild conspiracies for the last 30 years.

So do let me know when you stop asking Mr. Brown Shoes about his local sports team and start asking him about the trail of bodies he is 100% sure the murderous Clinton's have left in their wake, and that that the rest of American would know about if it weren't for the god damn Liberal media covering the whole thing up.

I'll be over here, in the American heartland, not holding my breath.


Meanwhile and predictably, Ron "Severe Dementia" Fournier cannot find enough glowing things to say about Mr. Brooks, who is apparently strummin' our pain with this fingers, and singin' our live with his words...

Monday, June 27, 2016

Very Much Looking Forward To Trump's Convention Speech

And then I'm very much looking forward to watching the Trumpshirts cheer, the Trump campaign goons grabbing every microphone in Christendom to denounce the "real" villains -- "PC culture" and Elizabeth Warren -- and the complicit Beltway media and the institutional "support-but-not-endorse" Republican party bend the spacetime continuum to the point of existential collapse pretending that it never happened.

Sunday Morning Comin' Down

Since Sunday was a travel day (In three days, we partially traversed five states getting there and five states getting back, and I still managed to talk to dozens more ordinary Americans than David Brooks has in the last decade) I was spared the horrors of watching the entire Beltway media join hands and jump off the White Cliffs of Both Siderism.

Wheeee!  We're flyyyyying!

However, thanks to the magic of "radio" I was able to listen to a significant fraction of the Mouse Circus and I can say with some authority that the only person anywhere who suggested that --
  1. Maybe the problem with our country is not caused by Both Sides but by the Republican party,
  2. Maybe the reason the Republican party is so fucked up is because its full of Republicans and, 
  3. The media's obsession with horse race coverage is deeply warping the way they talk about the 2016 presidential freak show
-- was Joy Ann Reid on MSNBC.

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that media's wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away,

Saturday, June 25, 2016

George Will Had No Sons

He had three whiskered things but he disowned them.

From the Moonie Times:
George Will renounces GOP, declares ‘This is not my party’

By Andrew Blake - The Washington Times - Saturday, June 25, 2016

The Republican Party’s acceptance of Donald Trump as its presumptive presidential nominee has prompted acclaimed conservative columnist George Will to change his political affiliation, the writer revealed Friday.

A Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the Washington Post, Mr. Will changed his voter registration in the state of Maryland earlier this month from Republican to “unaffiliated,” he told PJ Media during an interview Friday.

“This is not my party,” Mr. Will said at an event in Washington, D.C. earlier in the day, the website reported.

Mr. Will has been a vocal critic of the GOP’s presumptive nominee since well before the New York businessman announced his candidacy 2015, and said the decision to part ways with the party was the result of the recent endorsement made by House Speaker Paul Ryan, Wisconsin Republican, according to PJ Media.
Makes a giant, reeking mess.

Abandons it.

And is now bitching about how the help isn't cleaning it up fast enough.

George Will -- Conservative to the bone.