Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

"Crumbs dropped into the cleavage of History" edition.

Everything you need to know about “Face the Nation” came down to this:

Evan Bayh (crybaby quitter Senator): The Senate is being pulled to the Far Left and the Far Right.

Jim VandeHei (Executive Editor, Politico): The extremes…of both parties.

And more dung like that.

It no longer really serves any useful purpose to point out how relentlessly destructive and dishonest this "both sides do it" Villager Fairy Tale is, and always has been.

How, over and over Liberals have had everything ripped from our hands.

More often than not by our so-called friends.

How our opening health care position -- single-payer government-run -- was never even considered. Was betrayed for nothing.

How, piece by piece, over the course of an entire year virtually every reasonable Liberal policy alternative has been eviscerated and sold down the river to try to mollify evil men or to bribe corrupt ones until we ended up with a leaky, wheezing, bloated, grotesquely-compromised giveaway to insurance companies. Which, to no one's surprise, Republicans are still getting away with calling a dirty Commie Plot to destroy America, and over which soulless Toxicrats like Bayh are still permitted wring their hands and pretend it would have ended up ever so much better if only Liberals would've just bent over a little further and given away a little more.

Those who relentlessly fluff the "both sides are equally wrong about everything" lie do so with exactly the same kind of aggressively condescending disregard for facts that was most recently deployed to bulldoze all dissent from the Left over illegal war, torture, warrantless wiretapping and all the rest.

We in the Left recognize this for what it is: the spoor of the liar who has fully committed to fighting for their lie at the price of their eternal souls.

So fuck 'em.

The big news on “Meet the Press” this week was the mention of what raw sewage they will be dumping from your teevee next week.

Next week, the guest will be Don Karleone himself.


The panel will be Bender of Spoons,

Tom Friedman

And...


Wait for it. Waaait....

David Fucking Brooks.


Holy fuck taters with fuck-drippings gravy.

A Neocon Trifecta, each one of whom -- in virtually any other line of work -- would have long since racked up so many "pathological liar and wrong about everything" demerits they would been fired. Years ago. Fired, walked out of the building by security with their pictures posted at the guard station on the "Do Not Admit!" list.

Instead they're having a Villager Media clubhouse sleepover on national teevee.

And we're invited!

Yay!

Also, next Sunday David Gregory felt the need to announced that he will for some reason be absenting himself from the vicinity as three of his favorite Neocon banana slugs show up at his house (Translation: On the one hand, I don’t want to take any Twitter shit over giving Friedman and David Fucking Brooks one more free pass into America’s living rooms or for giving Rove my contractually-obligated on-air tug-job. On the other hand, I don’t want Karl to stop sexting me. Solution: Jackson Hole here I come!)

On this week's show, somebody put the Big Boy Pants on today, because the usually Stan Laurel-ish E.J. Dionne kept interrupting Orrin Hatch's lies by punching him in the face.

Not to worry; after the cameraman panned around enough to show the comically-panicked looks of “Why are you letting this Keebler elf talk to Senator Underpants that way?” on everyone else’s faces, David Gregory steers it back to his typically nauseating, Big Centrist reach-around party.

After the brief, unscheduled fireworks had subsided, Rich Lowry -- a princeling of the “blow-dried, fratboy-type wingnut” tribe -- shrugged it off and continued the nonstop GOP Lie-A-Thon by being the 128th Conservative this week to conflating the “Nuclear Option” and Reconciliation, and then attacking the straw-man he builds out of the scraps and rags.

Even though Rachel Maddow has already explained in annihilating detail why doing exactly that is, y'know, lying.


E.J. Dionne tried valiantly to step into this breach too, but by this time David Gregory was back on his "Let No Truth Be Spoken Here" game and cut him off.

But for a moment, pigs flew. And it was something to see (Heather at Crooks & Liars has the video here.)


On “Fox News Sunday”

Chris Wallace "interviews" Mitt Romney. The blurb for the show said that Romey "causes a stir by announcing that his decision, about a possible presidential run, will be made by the end of the year."

And this is "news" how?

Mittens: Health insurance reform saves lives, but only in Massachusetts.

Chris Wallace: Are yo sure? Because that sounds like Socialism.

Mittens: States can’t be Socialist. Only black democrats Presidents can be Socialists.

Wallace: Whew! Thanks for clearing that up!

Mittens: Also race horses work.

Wallace: Sure.

Mittens: But donkeys don’t.

Wallace: OK, what the Hell does that even mean?

Mittens: My chauffeur told me that on the way over. I asked him to tell me something that would sound rustic and woodsman-ish. Like something “humans” would say while “bowling”.

Wallace: Is this how the dog got tied to the roof of your car?

Mittens: No, I fired the dog-tying chauffeur. This is another chauffeur, who is shorter, and I believe comes from a hearty woodsman-like family. At least that's what his human designation of "Chuck" seems to infer.

Mittens: Bipartisanship works, but only in states that are overwhelmingly Democratic. Wait. That didn't come out right.

Mittens (from the video, but really, how can you tell?): No one in America believes insurance in America is expensive because insurance companies are awesome.

Wallace: That was a film of you from 11 seconds ago. Do you still believe what you said then, or was that a youthful indiscretion.

Mittens: The President points out “problems”. Then points out the “causes” of those problems. And them proposes “solutions”. And I just think that’s fundamentally dishonest and divisive.

Wallace: Give that Romney-Care is in virtually every way virtually identical to Obama-care, how will you convince voters that you’re not full of shit?

Mittens: Well Chris, as you know, I don’t have to convince “voters”; I have to convince “Republican Primary voters”.

Wallace: Ah!

Mittens: And as you know, “Republican Primary voters” as as dumb as a bag of hammers. Perhaps even dumber.

Wallace: So what’s your strategy?

Mittens: The usual. Calling the Kenyan Usurper a weakling and a Socialist. Repeating the phrase “Insurance companies are awesome” until people will believe it.

Wallace: What about your father, the notorious Socialist, George “Commie-symp” Romney?

Mittens: I wrote a book. It explains everything about everything. Human suffering. My father. Why insurance companies are awesome. Galactic Overlord Barack Obama’s plan to enslave humanity. A recipe for sunroof-tenderized dog.

Wallace: So…you wrote “Dianetics”?

Mittens: More like “Understanding the E-Meter” with magic underpants.

Wallace: Why wouldn’t someone as bilaterally symmetrical as you run for President?

Mittens: I can’t tell you if I will. Or why I would. Or how I would make that decision.

Wallace: Is it that kind of decisive leadership in the field corporate gut-and-plunder that made you the 117th Richest Mormon west of the Mississippi?

After that, two Conservative Democrats you’ve never heard of before put on suits and came on Fox to announce that they're "leaning" towards voting against Health Care reform if Obama doesn’t come to their houses and hand-wash their dainties.

So fuck 'em.


This Week on “This Week” when the music stopped and all the kids at the party grabbed a seat, it was Matthew Dowd who landed incongruously in the Big Chair where he pretend to ask George Will questions.

Dowd: Isn't it true that Liberals destroy everything they touch?

Will (Whispering and peering furtively around): Is that son-of-a-bitch Krugman here?

Dowd: No, George. Not this week.

Will: Well in that case, "Yes". Yes, that is absolutely true. As for example in 1929, when Franklin Roosevelt caused the Great Depression so that he could force white people to listen to Marian Anderson sing some fucking song.

Dowd: "God Bless America"?

Will: Whatever.

Dowd: I'm not sure that's exactly what happened...

Will: Were you alive then, you little cockroach?

Dowd: Well, no.

Will: What about you, Bush Administration apologist Torie Clarke?

Torie Clarke: No.

Will: And you, Dr. Miguelito Loveless?


Robert Reich: What?

Will (Nodding to Donna Brazile): And this was all years before the coloreds were allowed to remember things or write them down.

Brazile: Are you out of your right mind old man? Do you have any idea how bad I could hurt you?

Dowd: The point is, we all have different opinions, all of which are equally factual and valid.

Robert Reich: No, you human Neti Pot, the point is, these are a matter of history. Random shit George Will fishes out of his mental catheter bag on Sunday morning doesn't qualify as history.

Will: No, the point is history is written by the winners, Lovelace. Winners like President Calvin Coolidge, President Herbert Hoover and President John McCain.

Torie Clarke: We'll be right back.

Dowd: I'm the host! I get to say that! Make her stop picking on me, Unca George!

Will: You know, President Dewey once faced a similar problem in 1952...

Yet again, Will makes his Conservative vision of "fairness" crystal clear: pitting a multibillion-dollar insurance company that single-mindedly pursues profit at any cost with an unlimited supply of lobbyists, lawmakers and lawyers...against, say, a single mom trying to raise two kids on $25,000 and who doesn’t have enough time or energy to single-mindedly pursue ANYTHING...is in George Will's estimation a fair fight.

And if Single Mom loses, fuck her. It’s the Poor stupid bitch's own damned fault for not trying harder. Or not sleeping less. Or not getting a third job. Or a fourth. Or not being born rich.

Or not snagging a cushy gig lying and beating up on poor people on teevee for a living.

Also Matthew Dowd was just bad. Really, really bad.

Weak.

Challenging everything HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said, down to her punctuation. while curling up in Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s lap for 15 minutes and purring.

Anxiously deferential to George Will who was only to happy to ooze his revisionist, Conservative bullshit into the opening.

Dowd is used to sniping little, wingnut quips from the bushes; flicking peas and throwing buttered rolls at the other children. And now, at the head of the table, trying to carve and serve this very dry, very gray, very rubbery turkey, he looks like the toddler who finally snuck over to the grownup’s table, got hold of the knife, and doesn’t know what in the world to do with it.

On ”The Chris Matthews Show” there was a surprising consensus that, no matter how many self-absolving, self-aggrandizing "tell all" books the survivors of the failed Bush Administration continue to crank out, history will not be kind to the Bushies. Also Joe Klein's forehead seems to have put on about 20 unsightly pounds in the last six months. Joe, a word of advice: Pay the extra $29.95 for the name-brand Botox and the clean needles.


On a public access cable infomercial for CNN called “State of the Union”, Tom DeLay (the corrupt, disgraced and deposed Republican Speaker for Life, Jack Abramoff’s BFF, and soon-to-be federal prisoner) was put in front of a camera and asked his opinion about a lot of things.

I guess G. Gordon Liddy was busy.

Because as long as they scrape most of the blood off by show-time, no Republican can debase their office and shit on American so prodigiously that they won’t be invited back to share their enduring wisdom with the good people of these United States.

Guess what?

According to Tom DeLay, Liberals are Evil.

Hard to believe, I know.

Also “People are unemployed because they want to be. And people out in the Real World know it.”

Also he regrets nothing.



Conclusion: Take any five, decent bloggers at random, stick ‘em in front of a camera for 30 minutes with the 1/100th of the material support available to these MSM clowns and they would crush anything available on teevee today.