Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Sling Beck


I knew I'd seen that haircut somewhere before.


They turned me loose from the nervous hospital.
'Said I was well


It took me about a year to start hating
the 9-11 victims' families.


Coffee makes me nervous when I drink it. Mmm.

And that's all we're hearing about, are the people
in New Orleans. Those are the
only ones we're
seeing on television
are the scumbags

I was thinkin' I could use me another couple cans'o that
potted meat if ya got any extree.

Cindy Sheehan. That's a pretty big prostitute
there, you know what I mean?

I just kinda woke up a-holding it.

Why are we wasting our time rescuing
people like this, who don't have any worth.

I reckon I'm gonna have to get used to
looking at pretty people.


They can't make a living in their own dirtbag country.

I believe one fella come from Arkansas.
Get it?


Is there a bigger waste of skin
than Jimmy Carter?

I never used no hatchet that I remember.
Mmm.


we're going to have to nuke the whole place.

I read the Bible quite a bit. I can't understand
all of it, but I reckon I
understand a good deal of it.

I think we may have found our Antichrist
and our next president.

Some folks call it a sling blade,
I call it a kaiser blade.


I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore,
and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself,
or if I would need to hire somebody to do it.


The slow and mentally damaged will be with us always, and as anyone who has had dealings with the asshole-smart knows, mental capacity is no proxy for good character.

So the problem with Glenn Beck is not that he's an idiot.

No, the special evil that attends the rise of Beck comes from those behind the scenes at Fox

who took an obviously unbalanced individual amped up on rage and paranoia and then turned him loose front of a teevee camera for ratings.

10 comments:

Punster said...

Great photoshopping but kind of unfair to poor old Slingblade. He was pathetic, because he was insane. Beck isn't insane. I don't even think he buys this shit. He is PAID to act batshit crazy, and does it willingly. That ain't crazy. It's EVIL.

Rehctaw said...

Needed giggles. Thanks.

Now how do I make it stop?
Think of something sad... Beck... [image] giggles again.

It's gonna be a long day.

res ipsa loquitur said...

I first thought of Lenny from Of Mice and Men, but that would be an insult to Lenny.

Anonymous said...

Good luck finding anyone developmentally disabled who isn't insulted by comparison to that thing.

Kathy said...

Perhaps the families of the policemen murdered by a Beck "Fan" will sue Murdoch & FOX "news". I would.

justme said...

In their ever present need to piss off the hippies, no matter the damage in blood, treasure or freedom, the troglodrights have crowned their new jester.

They may have finally hit on the ultimate recipe for hornswaggling the rubes. Four parts WWE, three parts KKK, wrapped up in a crispy, flaggy crust, drenched in 190 proof stupid and lit up like a meth-lab accident.

I'd love to think that Beck is merely a transient symptom, but I'm afraid he is, if anything, evolutionary. Merely the latest vile stench farted out onto our airwaves, sure to be replaced as soon as something yet more sulphurous can be distilled.

I'd say that I can't wait for his shiny-nickle-in-a-porta-san fame to fade, but I can only shiver to imagine what might replace his flaccid pointlessness once he has outlived his uses.

Anonymous said...

Remember Morton Downy? Didn't people just finally tire of his schtick and stop watching? Why doesn't that happen anymore? Maybe there needs to be some standardized I.Q. test that limits access of some too various cable shows or the internet. The Faux orcs could only watch repeated episodes of "Frontline" and "Now"...and maybe "Sesame Street"

Imaginista said...

justme - that was the absolute best description of Beck that I've seen yet. This was especially inspired: >Four parts WWE, three parts KKK, wrapped up in a crispy, flaggy crust, drenched in 190 proof stupid and lit up like a meth-lab accident.<

And Kathy, I was wondering the same thing myself. If the carnage keeps up at the current pace it's only a matter of time, methinks.

Drifty - awesome, as per usual.

Anonymous said...

Beck's calculated Village Idiot episodes -- Much Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing -- have also been ass-whacked by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show and by Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report.

Great Minds ... Same Gutters??

K said...

Glen Beck actually does have mental illness in his family, and it would not surprise me if he had some form of bi-polar. Not to offend people with bi-polar.

Did you see his rant on Marxists infiltrating our country?

Or, did you hear Michelle Bachmann's rant? www.sokatie.com I have some video of it. She compares AMERICORPS to Communist Re-Education Camps.

Sorry, my father's family fled the soviets ... comparing Americorps to them is ridiculous.