Gets a new font
A Huffpo insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, today unveiled "Outragemond": the first of several new, proprietary, "breakthroughs in synergistic online font conveyance technologies" that the media giant promises will deliver both "total paradigm-shifting qualityness" and "the latest in robustly fourth-quadrant thinking".
How is such wonderfulness possible?
"Thanks to Arianna's pioneering, 'Don't Pay For Anything' business model, the trend leaders at HuffPo have finally amassed sufficient capital to fully fund fifth generation font and layout research into the previously purely-theoretical realm of the Fontal Quantum Unit, or the “FoQu-U” as it is known in the popular literature.
“This investment will allow The Huffington Post to maintain its leadership position in the hotly contested'Ripping Off Other People's Stuff'Aggregator market."
Is the admittedly-awesome 'Outragemond' the only fruit of the Huffington Post’s socially-responsible labors?
“Oh my no; 'Outragemond' is only the first step, dahling" the spokesperson hinted wryly. "You can look forward to the day in the not-too-distant when...
...your hourly Octomom Update is presented in a scientifically precise shaming shade of FoQu-U Biondi Moral Scoldface.
...your vital daily Prince William and/or Britney news comes hot and throbbingly packaged in a lovely FoQu-U Glitterami Sans Serif.
...stories lifted entirely from other sources will be run in a calming FoQu-U Droit Du Seigneur Nobleface.
And what does the future hold?
“Six words, dahling: Fully Kindle-Ready By Twenty-Ten!”
13 comments:
I too, had a long talk with your anonymous source, who has no qualms about talking to anyone.
"Oh The Kindle! That is the great secret of blahging, dahlink, is that with every five posts at Huffington, a writer is entered in a totally free drawing to win a Kindle!
All this talk of needing MONEY. I never have. Writers need groceries? Dahling, the camera at Larry King's adds twenty pounds not ten, so who actually EATS, anyway?"
Glad you're well enough again to deliver the snark, DG.
Excellent. The FoQu-U is getting out of control up there, I have been going there intermittently to see if they've invented a font so big it takes over the entire internets tubes.
LMAO!!
Damn! My eyes were just beginning to adjust to 12,000 point Helvetica.
Off topic, well off-topic only to the extent that it's not directly on future font-goodness, I came across this rant and I thought -- wow, DG wrote scripts for the original Star Trek, but then I saw who wrote it. See I've read so much DG I know think Ellison reads like DG, rather than the other way around.
http://www.fictioncircus.com/news.php?id=316&mode=one
trio,
On some long-ago book jacket blurb, I remember Stephen King likening reading Ellison to the onion next to an open bottle of milk in the fridge: if you're a writer, you just can't help picking up his scent.
Ah, Arianna's been promising the shareholders "big news" again, i see.
Version 2 of the Fontal Quantum Unit is no doubt on it's way as we speak.
;>)
Don't forget, for a Hundred and Fifty bucks, she will rush you the ultimate secrets of how to be a successful Blogger, or lose ten pounds, or show you how to find a unicorn in yer back yard, I can't remember, some shit like that.
I hope I don't have to press "ONE" for English, whatever it is.
I wish I had thought of that....
This place has the best commenters in the world :-)
This place has the best commenters in the world
Naked pandering? Hey, whatever works.
OT: For 7 days whenever I check for newy goodness here, I'm drawn to the twitter, `"Atlas Shrugged": A thousand pages of bad science fiction about sock puppets stabbing straw-men with tax cuts.'
Bravo! More. More...
I long for that nugget to spawn the longer, more fleshed out Drifty indictment it so richly deserves.
I suppose it stands complete on its own as a twitter. Enough for general satisfaction and I'm just being greedy for MORE.
I realize I'm not entitled to MORE, but I still want it from you.
Not sayin'; just sayin'...
what gets me is how much friggin traffic she gets. fuckin' hell...
what gets me is how much friggin traffic she gets. fuckin' hell...
ok, i totally on hit that once. (and I dont mean Arianna)
I think the whole over focus on AIG is overblown. Fuck them. Take them over and move on. This is a media/righty generated fuckragemirefish. AND how in hell does the FED suddenly have 1.whatever trillion dollars to "stimulate" the credit markets. Fer fucks sake! Why not just do that in January or even better, November 5th? Fuckers. Damned fuckers!! If anyone is responsible for turning off the taps, its the FED! If they can turn them ON then they had to have been the ones to turn them off.
With this bullshit who knew what when media drive we are seeing the takedown of our shiney new admin and a new batch of koolaid brewed. Paulson/Bernakie/Bush and the corporate overlords are all behind this shit. ALL of it.
Add to that the traitor dems lead by Byah. Fuckers.
Also, while I'm on the topic (of being pissed off), WHAT is the major outrage with the octomom? Fer fucks sake there are a number of shows on TLC PROMOTING this money for multiples mindset. Is it any surprise the parade of multiples continues? These other families have no visible means of support OTHER than the television shows and the traditional contributions from sponsors. Only thing with the octocmom is she is SINGLE and perhaps not as religiously oriented as the successful promoters of their litters of children. Perhaps she just came along at the tipping point and so the example is being made of HER quest to make money to support them by exploiting them? I don't know but this glorification of litters of children needs some examination especially now that it is part of pop culture and not a natural occurance.
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