Schmuck. On. This.

Captain Obvious gets pied.

From HuffPo:

Thomas Friedman Gets A Pie In The Face During Speech At Brown

New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman was attacked with pies in the face by environmental activists during a speech about energy at Brown University yesterday.

The Providence Journal reports that Friedman's message — that responding to climate change will make America "stronger, more innovative, [and] more energy secure" — was greeted by protesters:

Not everyone agrees with Friedman's vision that innovation is the path to climate and energy salvation. Just seconds into his speech, he was interrupted by two environmental activists, who stormed the stage shortly after Friedman stepped up to the microphone, tossing two paper plates loaded with shamrock-colored whipped cream at him.

Friedman ducked, and was left with only minor streams of the sugary green goo on his black pants and turtleneck.

He stood in bewilderment and mild disgust as the young man and woman bolted from the stage and out the side door, throwing a handful of fliers into the air to relay the message they apparently were not going to deliver personally.
…

Oh, noooes! Oh the fucking humanity.

“But why?” weep the wee ones.

“Why?” asks a whole world of imaginary cab-driving expository devices.

“Why?” implore the ziti cherubim and lasagna seraphim in the Pasta Heaven of a Merciful Flying Spaghetti Monster. “Why?”

A world where Tom Friedman can take a meringue fragging to his billion-dollar punim is a world too terrible for my beautiful to contemplate, so to unlace this Gordonian lattice of morality gone wild we turn to…

Really?

You sure?

OK then.

Uh, for an answer to this vexing question we turn to… Tom Friedman,

Accompanied by this video of Tom Friedman

from many, many friedman units ago.

…
And what we have learned these last seven years on the Mouse Circus, in a gut way, was that the Miserably Incompetent Punditocracy bubble is a fundamental threat to our open society because there is no teevee network sane enough, no newspaper honorable enough, no bullshit scrubber efficient enough, to protect an open society from the Miserably Incompetent Punditocracy.

And what we needed to do was to go over to that part of the media, I’m afraid, and burst that bubble.

We needed to go over here basically and take out a very big pie right in the heart of that feculent fiefdom and burst that bubble.

And there was only one way to do it. Because part of that bubble said: “We've got you. We control the fucking media and you will open wide and swallow out adolescent, Beltway-centric, Right-slanted drivel because you have no other choice. Quit whining about the truth. Nobody gives a shit about the truth at the Big Boy Table. Fuck the truth; all we care about are our seven-figure salaries, power-whoring and our sweet speaking-and-book deals.”

And what they needed to see was American boys and girls going from podium to podium from Berkley to Brown and basically saying: 'Which part of this sentence don't you understand? You don't think, you know, we care about our open society? You think this Miserably Incompetent Punditocracy bubble fantasy, we're just going to let it grow?

Well. Suck. On. This.

OK? That was what this pieing was about.

We could have hit Bobo. He is part of that bubble.

Could have hit Stephanopoulos.

We hit Flathead Tom.

Because we could.

Of course, I’m not saying I agree.

In fact, I’m not saying it at all.