You call the Capt’n, “Capt’n”

Roger Ailes and Brit Hume explain to new DLC meat how thing work on Fox teevee.

“Any man loses his spoon spends a night doing ‘Fox and Friends’.”

For a vastly more bedazzling, ensorcelling taxonomy of the Classes and Orders of this phenomenon, hie yourself over to The GNB, pull up a chair and listen to LowerManhattanite tell the ancient tale of cowardice, amnesia, liebermans, fords, pillbugs and Monty Python.

Here’s a little center-cut taste:

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Okay...I love Crooks and Liars, but I swear, I almost wanted to bop John over the head with his trusty media flashlight until the batteries exploded out, for his exposing me—us—to the reason why the pitiful, toadying, little gnome that is Harold Ford, was away for so long.

He wasn't missing. He was “away”” of his own volition evidently—hiding under a fucking rock with the rest of the pillbugs, and worms and all manner of many-legged creatures/pests you never see until you trip over said rock, and “ewwwwwww!”, there they are, exposed—all slimy and twitchy, and crawling around until you can get that rock back on top of 'em—hard, thank you very much—so you don't have to see them again.

Alas, not only didn't we get the rock back down—HARD!—quickly enough to re-acquaint ol' Harold with his natural habitat, but apparently, the annoying little bug wants to hang out in the light for awhile, and is scuttling for all he's worth to stay there.
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I swear, just when you think the Muvah Tongue has gone a little thin and cottonmouthy, you find that the likes of LM and Digby have been husbanding vast, sparkly caches of Sekrit Transitives and Magyk Glottals under their floorboards and are a’comin’ over the hill like the Adjective Cavalry on fresh horses.

For the rest, you go here now.