Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

Blockbusting Washington.

This week, the specific taps and slides of that dance-of-phosphor-and-bullshit that is the Mouse Circus are substantially less important than the aggregate effect, against which Progressives need to continue to gird themselves.

That Both Sides are Equally and Oppositely Wrong.

Perfectly, equipoisedly wrong. About everything.

That the “extremes” on both sides are the ones that are ruining the country, and only that Magical Kingdom of the Middle – that mythic Pundit Brigadoon where friedmans and broders and brookses and russerts frolic in wallows of their own poop, rebreathe for the millionth time their own stale, beerfart lies -- can save us all.

And however factually correct Liberals may have been about every-fucking-thing, since they will not share in the pundit's yahoo delusions, Liberals are, by definition, vituperative and unserious mooks.

They have gone all-in on this same tired lie I wrote about here more than two years ago, specifically about the despicable remarks of Tom “Captain Obvious” Friedman, but which are sadly applicable to the entire Punditocracy.

...
The Universe is carefully divided into Conservatives – who are wrong – and Liberals – who are somehow, mysteriously and equally wrong all the time and in equal numbers on every issue. And only Captain Obvious, frolicking across the few lonely yards of sand on his Isle of Reasonableness, can see the truth.

It does not matter how many millions of miles the Shining Path Republicans drag the “middle ground” to the Right.

It doesn’t matter that the Party of Lincoln is now infested crotch-to-crown with maggoty Segregationists.

It doesn’t matter that Nixon looks like a fucking Socialist compared to the positions now being advocated by the GOP today.

However far into the Armageddonist Abyss the wingnuts charge, Captain Obvious will dutifully pace off half that distance back towards where the Left (the band formerly know as “Rockefeller Republicans”) happened to be that day, drive his little stake into that shifting ground and declare that THIS is where the treasure of Comity and Reasonableness is buried. And that everyone on either side of his little islet is equally and oppositely wrong.

And then stamp his chubby little feet and whine that No One Is Listening to Him!
…

Don't mistake the ferocity of the media’s fealty to this second oldest Big Lie in the GOP black bag as simple misplaced priorities or myopia. The Pundit Caste has completely adapted itself to life in this toxic, synthetic biosphere of their own creation: without it they and their hugely profitable corporate media infrastructure simply cannot survive.

So they will lie and cheat and fight for the preposterous hallucination that Both Sides Are Equally Wrong -- to continue the charade that they are the sole arbiters of what is Reasonable and Serious -- as fangs-out as a mother rat fighting for her ratlettes.

But so long as they are allowed to point the finger of blame everywhere, they being allowed to point it nowhere. And so long as they are permitted to pretend that the aggressive, raging cancers of the GOP are no more or less life-threatening that the colds and broken fingers of the Left, the cancer with rage merrily on.

Laughable on its face and unsupported by any proof whatsoever, and yet everywhere – and I mean everywhere – it is being troweled over data, history, facts and truth by a fleet of GOP spokesrodents and media killdozers.

Because now more than ever before, this Big Lie equally serves the ends of the Pundit Kakocracy (as detailed above) and the GOP Lie Machine, which desperately needs to find a way to amortize the tragic cost of their lies, failures, smirking rape of the Constitution, outright treason, unprecedented corruption, criminality, incompetence and unbroken record of unmitigated catastrophe across both Parties.

On Fox News, Trent Lott trips over the hospital corners on his Sunday Go To Meetin’ sheets backpedaling away from what he said about Hate Radio just one week ago.

Then, it was…

“Talk Radio is running America.”

Now it is

One of the mistakes we make is not defining what we’re doing better. I will support their right to say whatever they want – Right, Left or Whatever.

This was followed by rebuttals from Fat Rush and The Savage Weiner.

Now an honest man, a principled man, would have said “Consider the source. These are two of the most rancid, despicable examples of evertying that is wrong with the extreme Right.”

But of course, Trent Lott has never been either principled or honest. Instead he has chosen to be a Republican, and, as someone no-doubt reminded him some time in the last seven days, without Hate Radio and the Fundies, there would be no Republican Party.

Lott: One of the mistakes we (the Congress) make is not defining what we’re doing better. I will support their right to say whatever they want – Right, Left or Whatever.

Lott says “No” to any return to the Fairness Doctrine.

Wallace: You make it sound like the Talk Radioistas lead their listeners around by their noses.

Lott: It’s not that Talk Radio is maliciously trying to distort anything.

And then this absolute gem (accompanied with a picture) of the slunching crap that Fox fobs off on the Pig People as “reporting”.

Wallace: I heard that that Inhofe sez that he overheard Barbara Boxer say to Hillary Clinton something bad about somebody. But let’s move on…

Feinstein refers to Hate Radio as: Hyperbolic. Explosive. It people to extreme positions without information. Nobody goes into the flaws of the current system

Wallace: Would you bring back the Evil Fairness Doctrine?!?

Feinstein: I’m looking into it.

Wallace: Some would say it’s the market speaking. The market has dictated that Conservative Talk is the Winnah! Forevah!

Wallace: Why is Congress sucking ass so badly?

Feinstein: Iraq. Iraq is a disaster and Democrats overwhelmingly want us the Hell out. However people seem to not understand the rules Congress operates under. That while Preznit Drinky McPinochet believes he can release the Flying Monkeys whenever the monsters come out from under the bed, that is not an option with the Legislative Branch.

Lott: Yes, the main reason is Iraq. But in the last three years, Republican and Democrat in Congress have failed. Nobody has the trump hand.

Lott: We had a these meaningless votes on Alberto Gonzalez and some damn “card check” thing with Unions.

Feinstein: People are fed up with partisanship. It has to stop. Many of us have worked across lines.

Feinstein: Vice Preznit thinks he doesn’t have to abide by any laws. It is the height of arrogance.

No, Bar. It is the height of treason.

Why don’t you call things by their proper name?

And then Lott nattered on about the natural reluctance the Executive Branch to play nice with the Legislative Branch…which of course has nothing to do with this particular example of what an absolutely despicable monster Cheney has turned out to be.

Lott: Iraq. In war, things happen. The status quo is not acceptable, but things change and it all depends on what you mean by “substantial”.

Or what “is” is, right Trent?

Lott: The Justice department is doing just fine. This whole DOJ thing is all about scoring gotcha points. Of course these good men and woman find in hard to work in this environment where they’re pelted with partisan poo all the time.

Lott: We need to loosen up and lighten up.



On Meet the Press: Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL), Pat Buchanan.

You can boil the whole discussion down to this.

Gutierrez: You cannot deport 12 million people and you cannot stop illegal immigration as long as the US economy depends on cheap labor.

Buchanan: You can stop anything if you just punish, punish, punish it hard enough.


Then a roundtable with Broderella, John Harwood, Gwen Ifill & Roger Simon.


Harwood: When your Party is shrinking, your Base has growing influence.

Broder: The Democrats have taken the position they will now do the nation’s business. And if the don’t they will take the heat for it. People are fed up with Washington bickering. With not solving problems.

Ifill: People have dug in their heels and there is no give on either side. Isn’t there any good faith left at all?

Simon: How did Immigration become a crisis? It was ginned up as a National Security issue to give Republicans something to run on, and it has lingered.

driftglass: Pay attention to what Simon Says here.

Then…Hillary! She’s so slick! Like her husband, even!

Ifill: Come with me now back to 1992. When Clinton got tagged with Slick Willy. It only infuriated us in the Press. He won. And you know why? Every politician has glib answers. What people give a shit about are the issues.

Simon: The calculation in the Clinton camp is that after eight years of Bush fuckuppery, people are hungry for strength and competence.

Broder: The stories you hear about Rudy! coming out of New York! They’ll curl your hair. Maybe someone will report on them someday.

Russert: Romney is ahead in several states, and yet he is an unprincipled empty suit. The compleat whore. Maybe someone will report on them someday.

Shorter Romney:

The Power of Christ Pomades You!
The Power of Christ Pomades You!

Broder: We know that when Fred Thompson was a congressman he started a lot of project and didn’t finish many. I doubt he has the stick-to-it-iveness to run for President. Maybe someone will report on that someday.

Simon: Fred Thompson is McCain without the pain of Iraq, campaign finance reform, etc.

Bloomberg. Blooooomberg.

Simon: Bloomberg is just about the money. You notice that nobody is asking any questions about his “warmth” or “strength” or his positions on anything. He doesn’t have anything right now but his checkbook and we’re peeing out pants over it.

Broder: You people are much too forgiving. Out here Among The People, the Real Murricans are so disgusted with Teh Washington that they will follow a rabid otter into the Gates of Hell as long as it's not a smelly partisan.

I know their true heart for I am one of them.

And lo, I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade,
And will tell the vituperative, uncivil bloggers to get the fuck offa my lawn!


On Face the Nation Bob Schieffer plays pickup baseball with John Harris (Politico.com), wacky neighbor Ed Koch, Sam Waterston (spokesman for Unity ’08) and Ed “Top-Shelf Whoring at Low-Low Discount Prices” Rollins

The topic was Centrism Baby!

Gotta run for the Center because of all that stinky Partisanship that reeks off the Party Bases.

Who are – surprise! – “somehow, mysteriously and equally wrong all the time and in equal numbers on every issue”

Because the passion of citizens trying to hold the government to account for its high crimes and blood-soaked lies is somehow equally “partisan”, equally unserious and equally upsetting as the zealotry of the fascists who are still trying take this country down into the dark.


This Week, short and to the point.
Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-MA member, Judiciary Committee

Kennedy: Immigration Bill rocks. Tough. Fair. An acknowledgment that the present system is terribly broken.

Kennedy: This is a National Security issue.

Kennedy: I am a legislator. I want to get things done.


And Chris Matthews continues his now-overtly-creepy obsession with Episode 122 of The Hillary Panty-Sniffing Show.

With Kathleen Parker, Elisabeth Bumiller, Richard Stengel and David Ignatius

This week’s episode; So many women love her! And not just Elite Frigid Lesbians who refuse to touch Chris Matthews’ penis with a barge pole no matter how hard he humps their leg! No, really real women lover her too.

Chris Matthews: It’s almost a Sister Soulja moment. She is playing against the Left.

driftglass: Except, of course, everybody plays against the Left. The Right does it. The Triangulators. The Centerists. Joementum. The Fundies. The Klan. That Mormon fella with the teevee preacher hair. Every pundit in the universe.

These equally and oppositely Evil Bases and yet all anyone wants to do it make their bones flogging Progressives. Goldwater took on his own Base, but he has long passed from this vale of tears, and the closest any living (or at least convincingly Animatronic) Republican candidate has come to calling out the Wingnut Right was John McCain when he called Jerry Falwell out for being an “agent of intolerance” in 2000…and who promptly let what little remained of his honor crawl up Falwell’s ass and die as soon as maverickhood became politically inconvenient.

And, I will say, in all fairness, George Bush has done a creditable job kicking his own Base in the ankle over Immigration. Of course he has pissed away every shred of his credibility in Iraq, so fat lotta good it does, but credit where credit is due.

And then, on to Bloomberg, and the mandatory Centrism mantra recited as holy writ.

Chris Matthews: Everybody hates both Parties. So isn’t it time for someone to “grab” that 1/3 in the middle and go for it?

Kathleen Parker: I saw this picture of Hillary and her crew and there was only one blonde there. I think that’s very telling.

Stengel: (About Blooooomberg.) We’re the only people excited about this.

Chris Matthews: This country is dying for someone in the Center. Someone who will appeal to the suburbs. Who will hold me and kiss my boo-boos and kick my ass and make me feel all better. Someone whose Old Spicey tee-shirts I can wear on my head as I slow-dance a broom and a bottle of rye around my empty, confused, he-man-scarce life.

Someone…someone…


Sorry, wankers. You already had the Centrist President of your dreams.

One willing to compromise all over the place.

One who was willing to eliminate welfare, pass NAFTA and bang heads with his own party.

His name was William Jefferson Clinton.

And you hunted him without mercy or limit for seven years and then impeached him.

So how about anyone who rode the "Smash Clinton at Any Price" bandwagon all those years and is now calling for politeness and sharing and inter-party trust-falls just shut the fuck up for the next twenty years, until the only thing above ground named "Newt Gingrich" is a disused waste retention pond in Cobb County, Georgia.

And the rest of us can shower off the grotty details of the Mouse Circus and talk about the theme.

The line I began with: “Blockbusting Washington.”

In case you are not familiar with this real estate term from America’s recent, shameful past, here’s Wiki to the rescue:

...
Often times, an agent or developer convinces white people to sell their houses at low prices by telling them that people of color are moving into their neighborhood, exploiting their fear of lowered property values. Often, the real estate agent then raises the price of the house again and sells it to a person of color.

It has been suggested that the term originated with the practice in Chicago where in order to accommodate the out-migration of economically successful residents to better neighborhoods outside ghettos, people were hired to create a visual presence in the restricted neighborhoods and thus, encourage residents to sell their properties and move to still more restrictive suburbs.

For example, black women were paid/encouraged to push baby carriages in exclusive white neighborhoods to encourage white residents to sell their properties on the premise property values would decline with an increase in the visible social differences that characterized neighboring ghettos.

Sometimes a developer will begin buying up properties in a neighborhood and leaving them empty to give the neighborhood a growing empty feeling to encourage hold outs to sell to him.
…

Perhaps you see the parallel.

The “Government Is The Problem” Conservatives have spend 20 years “ghettoizing” Progressive politics in America. Using every microphone and editorial page they could lay their grubby paws on to spread the same message over and over again.

Your money is being stolen by welfare cheats and Big Government socialists who want to subsidize laziness and ship your hard earned cash overseas to underwrite other Big Government socialists.

The Government is your Enemy.

The Government is a pest-hole of debauchery run by lazy Liberal thieves who want to destroy you by de-Christianizing American and turning your kids gay.

Run, run, run for the GOP or the tree-hugging faggelizers will gitcha!

Republicans and their enablers in the Corporate Media have spent 20 years trashing civility and public discourse for partisan gain.

Deliberately “Blockbusting” the federal government.

And now that it is all falling apart around them, they want to turn the toxic waste dump they have created to their own advantage one last time.

Like the old joke about the definition of “Chutzpah” (The kid who cold-bloodedly offs his parents and pleads for mercy on account of being an orphan) the GOP, the Mainstream Media and Hate Radio have worked overtime the turn the public discourse on important issues into a sewer -- have for decades mercilessly mocked any good-faith efforts by Democrats at compromise as being somehow weak and unprincipled…who have run campaign after campaign after campaign based not on issues but on a Full Metal Rove assault on the basic the patriotism and loyalty of Democrats -- and now have the fucking temerity to complain that nothing gets done because for some strange reason everyone is pissed off and nobody trusts anybody.

And the reason for their endgame is simplicity itself.

Because for all its flaws, Progressivism is the only social movement left standing that has even a ghost of a chance of restoring American greatness and goodness by rolling back the Conservative’s shameful authoritarian tide and cleaning up rubble the GOP and the Mainstream Media has left in its wake.

Which is why they unite now to push this last and most terrible lie – that the Left is somehow equally to blame for all the Right has destroyed and therefore equally unqualified to heal the nation.

And why it is our job to beat their lies right back down their throats every time they dare to take them out for a walk in public.