Sunday, December 31, 2006

It's a penis



Call it a "concept car" all you want.

It's a wang.

From Yahoo News.

LA Auto Show: Concept Cars

Mazda Nagare Design Concept


Like an RX-8 from the future, the Nagare – Japanese for “flow” – is a four-seater sports car, powered by a hydrogen-fueled rotary engine. Mazda’s global design director, Laurens van den Acker sums it up: “The Nagare is a celebration of proportions and surface language that will evolve into subsequent designs planned for presentation at future international auto shows.

Nagare examines light and shadow, and begins to reveal the global design cues for the next generation of Mazda vehicles.”


Light and shadow and "global design cues" my ass.

It's a sleek, fleshtone beefhammer for guys to strap themselves into so they can rampage up and down the roads like Vikings.

See, guys are simple.

We're dogs.

Insert as many "not me", "not under these circumstances", "not my man" qualifiers as you please. I will stipulate to them all, and more.

Nonetheless, guys are dogs. We’re hardwired that way. To be clear, this in no way means that we are required to behave like dogs. This is in no way bonds out weak men who pathetically try to cop to an "I couldn't help myself" alibi for their bad or violent or shitty actions.

Fuck them. Real men do not appreciate or endorse this kind of behavior; in fact, real men spend a substantial percentage of our adult lives gingerly navigating through the wreckage these asswipes leave behind,

Real men, far from excusing dodgy, slimy conduct, believe quite the opposite is true.

That the measure of a man is his mastery of his doggish nature.

Not his denial of it; men who cut themselves off from their masculinity and women who demand that men magically mutate into something that fraudulently denies what a million years of Evolution has made them are every bit as destructively deluded as Intelligent Design idjits.

But to be a real man – A civilized man. A gentleman – a guy must appreciate his internal hound even as he must teach it to heel, to stay and to not bite people in the face.

Men are wired for their doggishness in the same way all humans are wired to eliminate waste, but the need to take a dump does not mean you get to pinch a loaf on the 156 LaSalle bus at rush hour.

So what do guys want?

Simple.

We want this…


and a really sweet ride.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Linda Fiorentino in The Last Seduction is the most evilest female character evar in the movies.

I want no part of THAT.

Well, actually I want one specific part of that but not all of that. Or maybe all of that for like a day or so, but no more. A week tops. Or a couple of weekend days. Once in awhile is all. I swear.

Anonymous said...

driftglass, if I thought that's what guys really wanted, I would give up in despair.

Wait...I have given up in despair!

Happy New Year!

GW

Anonymous said...

I'll take Linda Fiorentino any day, any way, any place.

And yes, by the way, I am.

Happy New Year Drifty!

Anonymous said...

the bodys the dog...we're all of us dogs.

sic dog

Anonymous said...

...and a really sweet ride.

With "Little Red Corvette" and "Sex Machine" playing in a loop on the Bose stereo system.

HAPPY NEW YEAR again, Drifty!!!

Anonymous said...

So where does one hang the pair of fuzzy dice?

On the car, I mean.

Angel Of Mercy said...

No fair!!!

You should post a beverage alert before you do things like that, Mr. D. Glass; I just got Laiphroag all over my monitor and keyboard after blowing it out my nose.

Such a waste...

Anonymous said...

Daddy likes.... Linda, more than the car, frankly...

Happy New Year, ya witty bastard! And to everyone else, as well. Here's to '07, eh kids?

Anonymous said...

CONDITION RED! A SPAMMER GOT THROUGH!

Anonymous said...

Ah yer have them daydreaming in tech-no-colorish mens imaginings: The wimmen who are *ladies* in public and *sluts* in private.

Some of ya gets what ya wants (from time to time...*wink*) but depends on whether ya is mens to appreciate IT.

Just Lucky I guess!

Or Perhaps hopeful for yer New Year's Resolution?