Vox Populi, Vox Dei

And Dei sez: “Burn the tent and hang the hucksters, boys. We wuz wrong.”

Today in fake news:

Wingnuts Renounce Dumbass Ideology En Masse.

Declaring this evening that “Our long national drunken quadriplegic political circle jerk is over!” a spokesman for the now-defunct GOP officially disbanded Party of God.

Hoover Snubbles, former Imperial Tube Worm for the former Majority Party said, “Well we really had to, didn’t we? I mean after alla that ruckus we raised in 2000? 2002? 2004? When we pissed all over the Liberals and shouted – very loudly – that losing a national election repudiates your entire political and moral philosophy forever?

“When we said – very loudly – then that even if you only win by 500 votes, in one precinct, by cheating, it doesn’t matter, because the Majority is Always Right About Everything? And if you lose you never have to be listened to again because you’re no longer really even a citizen and everything you have ever said or thought on every subject back to the dawn of time of is automatically invalidated?

“Remember when we said that?”

“We’d sound awfully insincere if we didn’t live up to the standards we ourselves set, wouldn’t we, “ added Reverend Righteous T. Pecksniff – head of the Yoknapatawpha County chapter of the Promise Keepers – as he tossed bale after bale of yellowing Xerox copies of the ‘Contract With America' into a large bonfire. ”Sheeeet, God Hisself couldn’t make a doggie bag big enough to carry all the bad karma we’d have to eat if we didn’t tear the whole circus down and go back to hating queers and protecting child predators in private.”

“I mean we may have been a Party of liars, war criminals, looters, racists, theocrats and pocket edition Elmer Gantries set on full-auto, but hey, we were never hypocrites.”