“Fantasic”?

Really?

For post #800, this from the Arizona Star.

Bush: Cheney, Rumsfeld 'fantastic'

President Bush gave an extended interview in which he said Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld are doing "fantastic jobs."

"I asked Vice President Cheney to get on my ticket, to run with me, because I trust his — I value his judgment and his advice. And he's given me good advice."

"On Secretary Rumsfeld, I have asked him to fight two fronts in the war on terror — Afghanistan and Iraq — as well as transform our military. Any one of those would have been a lot for any secretary of defense to handle. He's handled all three at the same time, and I'm pleased with the progress we're making."
…

There are many, many adjectives other than “fantastic” that a non-crazy, non-dry drunk, non-sociopath might use to describe the job performance of Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld.

Perhaps thousands of other adjectives.

In fact, ever day wordsmiths are hard at their labors in idiom labs all across the country, working three shifts to develop and bring to market new product to more accurately limn the job performance of Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld.

There is of course a considerable lag during the human testing phase (MLA approval of new invective, for example, can take up to three years) but even with tight federal regulations on the sale and distribution of non-approved language, some new slingo does find itself onto the black market.

Words like “fucktillion” (“How wrong was Dubya about Iraq? 5%? 10%? How about three fucktillion percent?”)

Phrases like “Grand Mal Epil-Epic” (There is big failure. And then there’s epic failure. And then there’s Dubya Sized Grand Mal Epil-Epic failure.)

And “hecktard” (Any one of several administration hacks who have failed on a Grand Mal Epil-Epic scale by having been three fucktillion percent wrong about every single thing, and yet who Dubya persists in designating as having done a “heckuva job”. The size of the Bush Administration, therefore, is 100,000 cubic hecktards. )

So who knows but what Dubya was maybe just being really, uh, shrewd and literate?

Maybe the Dear Leader meant “fantastic” in a way entirely different than how the audience thought he meant it?

Perhaps he meant this:

fan·tas·tic (făn-tăs'tĭk) pronunciation also fan·tas·ti·cal (-tĭ-kəl)
adj.

Quaint or strange in form, conception, or appearance.

1. Unrestrainedly fanciful; extravagant: fantastic hopes.
2. Bizarre, as in form or appearance; strange: fantastic attire; fantastic behavior.
3. Based on or existing only in fantasy; unreal

So for assistance in testing this theory I turned to the man who was minting new words in unmatched profusion long before red tape was invented and, lo and behold, in Act Two, Scene Two of “Measure for Measure” what do I find?

ISABELLA:

Could great men thunder
As Jove himself does, Jove would ne'er be quiet,
For every pelting, petty officer
Would use his heaven for thunder;
Nothing but thunder! Merciful Heaven,
Thou rather with thy sharp and sulphurous bolt
Split'st the unwedgeable and gnarled oak
Than the soft myrtle: but man, proud man,
Drest in a little brief authority,
Most ignorant of what he's most assured,
His glassy essence, like an angry ape,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven
As make the angels weep; who, with our spleens,
Would all themselves laugh mortal.

A “pelting, petty officer”?

“Drest in brief authority” and “Most ignorant of what he's most assured”?

An “angry ape” who makes “the angels weep”?

Why I must admit I have never heard a more compact yet comprehensive summary of the berserk, simian reign of Actual Preznit Cheney and Reichmarshall Rumsfeld as this.

Wow. Looks like I’ve been all wrong about The Bicycle Chief.

Looks like the Dear Leader really did read him some “Shakespeares” over spring break, and now he’s speakin’ in Bard Dog Whistle to the English majors inna house!

Well way to go Dubya!