"I hear the Voices"

They tell me that Iran has The Bomb.

That Rummy is a Genius.

That Babylon must pay and pay. And bleed and bleed.

That we must dash the skulls of their babies against the rocks.

Just look at that picture of what happened to my hand when I showed a particle of doubt! Just for a second!

The Voices warned that if I broke faith with them this would happen. And that my words would come out all drunk-sounding. And lo, weren’t the Voices exactly right?

That I can’t pronounce “Nookuler”?

Or the name of some Spanish prime minister?

Or "subliminable".

Or “Abu Gerrub”.

And that my hand would melt. Maybe you can’t see it melting, but you’re not The Decider.

I’m The Decider.

I mean, how else do you explain me losing my grip falling off my bike. Falling off a Segue. Falling down in the office. Sounding all crazy during my debate with Kerry.

It takes all my mind and faith and focus to bring my hand back when the doubt sneaks in and I start to think maybe I might have made a mistake.

Gotta watch it all the time. All the time. The Higher Father demands no less.

He say’s so in His Book.

Just take a look here…

By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down,
and there we wept when we remembered Zion.

On the willows there we hung up our harps.

For there our captors asked us for words of song,
and our tormentors, for mirth:
"Sing to us from the songs of Zion!"

How could we sing the song of the Lord on an alien land?

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill,

May my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth
if I do not remember you,
if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy.

Remember, O LORD, against the sons of Edom
the day of Jerusalem's fall, those who said:
"Tear it down! Tear it down to its foundation!"

O daughter of Babylon that will be devastated:
Fortunate is the man who repays you what you have done to us;

Fortunate is the man who will seize and dash
your little ones against the rock!

Waking or sleeping, gotta know that The Decider is solid and whole and can jump straight outta bed to go sign that important Terri Schiavo Bill, or make the missiles fly if that’s what the Voices need me to do.

I’m not reckless about out. I think people don’t realize that I’m reeeeeal careful. I’m completely calm and clear about the hand situation. In fact, monitoring the hand situation is so important that I’ve had Josh Bolton on the job right along. He keeps an eye out to make sure my hands stay rock-hard and real when the Deciding comes.

Just take a look here…

His wall collection of Bush photos, typical throughout the White House complex, is unique. The pictures focus exclusively on Bush's hands at key moments in his presidency. Not a single photo of Bush's face can be found.

I used to be scared when my hand would get tingly or squishy or that one time when I disagreed with Dick and it just oozed right off my wrist and puddled up on the floor. But now I see that it’s a blessing. A quick check on whether I’m on the right track.

Polls, facts, science, what the masses think, the opinions of foreigners, or what it says on the teevee screens or the internets...all of them are terrorist weapons sent by the Evil One to attack my mind. Distractions sent by the Prince of Lies to try to shake me from my faith.

But I will not be shaken.

All I need to do is to take a look at my right hand, maybe bang it on a desk or a podium, and if it’s solid, then so is my faith.

When you don't question the Voices, things work out.

Maybe you can’t see it, but I can. I'm the Decider, and a hundred or two hundred years from now, my Decisions will be redeemed, because the Voices are never wrong.

And the Hand never lies.

It was like granite when I took us into Iraq.

But thinking about Iran and what I must do, it feels like steel.

Like diamonds.

Like the Hand of God.