Fat Man in a Little Lie.

Dennis Hastert: Auto Redact?

So Denny Hastert was caught in flagrante Canyonnero (From the Medieval Latin for “while the crime is a Blazer”...although there seems to have been a little goof up in the original translation)

Don’t worry, Denny.

Republican voters are idiots anyway, right?



This from the AP (HT to Crooks and Liars…)

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV, which uses gasoline, after holding a new conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive back the few block back to the U.S. Capitol. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

And the thing is, Denny knows this story won’t matter one fucking bit, don’tcha Denny?

Of course it doesn’t matter.

‘Cause you guys just auger the eyes right out of your loyal base and whiz raw sewage straight into their skulls year after year after year, and yet they obviously like it, right Denny?

I mean after being faced with overwhelming evidence of Republican lies and treachery, who but a pack of catastrophic frontal lobe malfunction cases would actually vote to keep the vortex that was consuming their country whirling?

Who but the worst kind of suicidally self-loathing dolts would line up behind the GOP after Katrina?

Who but an oil drum full of gila monsters wouldn’t vomit up their last nineteen meals at the thought of associating with a Party led by degenerate hatemongers like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell?

So not to worry, Denny: You’re safe.

If the Intellectually Left Behind that prop up your Party can’t work up anything but the creepiest kind of shrieking, zombie Maoist loyalty for a gang of liars, brigands and halfwits who have lied them into a catastrophic war and mortgaged their children’s future for the greater glory of Exxon, it’s not like one more Republican Lie is going to matter.

Of course if it were a Democrat doing it, your Party would have convened hearings on it and have sworn in the first witnesses by the time you pulled your Escalade into your garage.

But now, three years after the preemptive invasion of a sovereign nation on false pretenses and over five years since 9/11, your Party still categorically refuses to look into any of the genuinely crucial questions behind those disasters.

Shit, your Party doesn’t even allow its lobbyiest pimp overlords friends to be put under oath when you do actually bother to look into things, so don't sweat it. In the verity free-fire zone that is the GOP, your little deception is no more statistically relevant than a teaspoon of matchheads in a solar flare.