When the Prezit comes

as a thief in the night.

When the undisputed Dear Leader of the Republican Party has to slip in through the Man-On-Doggy-Door to sneak into a Republican Fundraiser for a Republican Senator in a Republican State for fear of startling the citizenry by tipping his hand and to the Evil Media the Vital National Sekrit that he is a Republican...

...then one may be forgiven for speculating that all is not well in Republican Never-Never Land.

Reader “John” sent this along.

Santorum gets Bush aid, quietly

A private Pa. fund-raiser today reflects both the President's clout and his low poll numbers.
By Steve Goldstein
Inquirer Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON - President Bush is coming to Pennsylvania today to help Republican Sen. Rick Santorum in his reelection fight.

But unless you're invited to the Sewickley Heights home of Pittsburgh-area industrialist Richard P. Simmons, you won't see them together.

As Santorum's campaign against likely Democratic opponent Bob Casey Jr. heats up, the junior senator is trying to maintain a delicate balance in his relationship with Bush, whose popularity is at the lowest point of his presidency.

Increasingly, in some ways bold and others subtle, Santorum is trying to set himself apart from the White House while not alienating the GOP faithful whose support for Bush has been unwavering.

At the same time, the senator recognizes that Bush can deliver a commodity that is more tangible than star power: campaign cash.

"President Bush is not an asset in terms of swing voters," said Chris Borick, a political scientist and pollster at Muhlenberg College. "He's a tremendous asset in terms of fund-raising."

…
Santorum's balancing act is particularly tricky for the No. 3 Republican in the Senate, who has supported administration positions 98 percent of the time.

"Santorum has tried to get a measure of distance, while knowing that he has to be credible," said G. Terry Madonna, director of the Keystone Poll at Franklin and Marshall College. "You can't eliminate five years of history."

Madonna said that no senator had been more closely identified with the President's cultural agenda. "It makes it more difficult for Santorum to move away," he said.
Borick agreed, noting the senator's avid support for Bush's Social Security plan last year.

But wait. There’s more…

…
Santorum is not the only Republican candidate walking this tightrope.

On Monday, New Jersey GOP senatorial candidate Thomas H. Kean Jr. arrived late for a campaign event in Newark featuring Vice President Cheney. Kean blamed traffic for missing Cheney's appearance. When asked if he supported White House policies, Kean replied: "This campaign is going to be about the people of New Jersey."
…

Bwahaha!

Run, bitches.

Run faster!

Run backwards!

Run clapping and shrieking, “I may or may not believe in Tinkerbell” all the way off the cliff.

Because Bush and Cheney have made their political bones hiding behind the bones of actual, dead Americans.

It is, in the end, all they have, and all they have ever had.

They’ve skulked in their partisan sniper’s nest for five years, cowering beneath the skirts of Osama Bin Laden and screaming “Traitor” at anyone that whispered a discouraging word, or pointed out the fact that they have repeatedly broken the laws of the United States and lied to the American people about matters of life and death.

They hide their crimes and stink behind a wall of fear they are constantly tuckpointing with alerts and speeches, and the Republican Congress hides behind them, noses pressed so close to the Chief Executive Poop-chute that they can tell you whether the White House chef used brown eggs or white in the Presidential waffle batter that morning.

But now that Dubya’s numbers have fallen off the face of the Earth, the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan is fast becoming “George W. who?”, and suddenly every Republican running for office outside of the safest GOP precincts of Mordor is Peter in the courtyard:

69 “Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. One of the maids came over to him and said, "You too were with Bush on Social Security.”

70 But he denied it in front of everyone, saying, "I do not know what you are talking about!"

71 As he went out to the gate, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This man’s was Dubya’s hemorrhoid cushion in 2004."

72 Again he denied it with an oath, "I do not know the man!"

73 A little later the bystanders came over and said to Peter, "Surely you too are one of them; even your speech gives you away."

74 At that he began to curse and to swear, "I do not know the man."

And immediately a mehlman crowed.

Sorry gentlemen, but after five years of being the Emperor’s Neutered, Rubberstamping Underoos, ain’t a chance in hell you’re gonna reformat your mushy skulls in the next few, short months into looking like anything other than a plaster cast of Bush’s ass-crack.

Because after five years in the Age of Dubya, you get to be either a Good Republican or a Good American, but you can no longer be both.