The Bicycle Chief.

Peddlin' The Truth...Republican Style.

Usually when Bad Things happen, the hotline lights up in the Cheney Cave long before they wake up the Bicycle Chief.

You don't wanna go telling Dubya much of anything when the situation is fluid and risk him freezing up solid and freaking the country out, or, worse, getting in front of a microphone and saying something stupid and inflammatory. From something as catastrophic as Katrina to something as mundane as a small plane straying over D.C., best keep the Boy firmly in the Bubble lest he decide to run his fake-cowboy bullshit during a disaster and tell an earthquake to "Bring it on!" on national teevee.

The exception is, or course, when the Bad Thing is something that actually involves Cheney himself. Then they have to tell him.

Not to worry though; it's not like he's gonna tell anyone else.

This from the Tucson Citizen.

Feb. 13, 2006

Bush knew of Cheney's hunting accident Sat., world not told until next day
NEDRA PICKLER

The Associated Press

WASHINGTON - President Bush knew Saturday evening that Vice President Dick Cheney had accidentally shot a hunting companion, but the information wasn't made public until the next day - by a private citizen - the White House said Monday.

Spokesman Scott McClellan said the vice president's staff was focused on making sure that the shooting victim, attorney Harry Whittington of Austin, Texas, was receiving adequate medical care after the shooting on the private Armstrong Ranch in south Texas. Whittington and Cheney were hunting quail together.

Cheney apparently did not see Whittington, and the vice president accidentally hit him in the face, neck and chest with bird shot.

Bush aide Karl Rove told the president just before 8 p.m. Saturday about Cheney's involvement in the shotgun accident, McClellan said.
McClellan was informed Saturday night that someone in the Cheney hunting party was involved, but he didn't know that Cheney was the shooter until the next morning, the spokesman said.

…

When asked if he was satisfied with how the situation was handled, McClellan said, "I think you can always look back at these issues and look at how to do a better job."
…

The bike-phone rings...

Hey, Turdblossom, how’s it hanging? You stayin’ outta jail?

Hehehe.

Nah, just bikin’ around. Tryin’ out my new wheels. And this new analog Pharma cooked up for me is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Don’t know what’s in it, but it’s legal as seawater, tastes like Wild Turkey and I swear to God I can fucking hear the colors out here.

What’s that?

Sorry, Turd, say that again; I’m breakin’ in mah new phone.

Dick did what?

Hehehe. “Shot his mouth off.” Yeah, that’s Dickie-boy all right. Did I ever tell you about the time that he and Rummy did, like, nine hits of blotter and stole an Apa…

What?

“Not” what?

What’sat?

Oh.

Not “his” mouth huh?

Oh.

Shit.

Well thanks for the buzzkill, Karl.

Whatever. I’ll be back in a little bit.

*(Original Photo by Steve Saraoff, 2000)